Alicia Keys Gave Birth To Egypt
The image of Alicia Keys pushing the pyramids, the Great Sphinx of Giza, a herd of camels and Charlton Heston as Moses out of her chocha is not what I wanted to toast my Friday night with, but now I am because she gave birth to a baby boy and named him Egypt Daoud Dean. What in the name of Tutankhamun's mummified taint is right...
Alicia's rep tells E! Online that Alicia and her husband Swizz Beatz welcomed a new kid into their arms in NYC last night. Her rep didn't have shit to say about the name Egypt, but they said that "Daoud, pronounced da-ood, is Arabic for David, and is Beatz's middle name."
Egypt is Alicia's first kid and is Swizz's fourth....that he knows of.
You know, I'm going to let the name go and let it scurry out the school yard, because that child has more serious shit to deal with right now. I mean, imagine opening up your eyes for the first time and seeing Swizz Beatz' toucan beak! Baby probably somehow learned how to do the Holy Mary thinking that beak was going to gobble him up. Or maybe he got excited thinking he's now gonna get a lifetime supply of Fruit Loops. Let's hope it was the latter.
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The po'chile has the horrifying name. Let's hope he don't get the horrifying beak to match.
Submitted by parkerj on Sun, 10/17/2010 - 12:26pm.
Submitted by caprica six on Sun, 10/17/2010 - 12:06pm.
*still dying at that J'Alone perfume naming thread"
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The JA perfume naming contest has got to be my favorite Dlisted thread of ALL TIME. Dlisters en masse were going off the chain!!!
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Remember that!!?? Never forget, y'all, never forget! llololo
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"DO AS I SAY AND BUY THE MOTHERFUCKING COCK SHIT GODDAMN FIVE POUND BAG OF THE SODDING WHITE FUCKING POTATOES!" - QBK 10.2010
"LEARN. TO. FUCKING. COUNT. YOU JACKHOLE." - Uvy 10.2010
(...still lmfao!)
Submitted by caprica six on Sun, 10/17/2010 - 12:06pm.
*still dying at that J'Alone perfume naming thread"
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The JA perfume naming contest has got to be my favorite Dlisted thread of ALL TIME. Dlisters en masse were going off the chain!!!
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Sat, 10/16/2010 - 3:50pm.
Submitted by A Noun _is a pe... on Sat, 10/16/2010 - 10:54am.
He comes with a built-in rap name already: GyppyD.
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I was gonna go with Egy Beatz.
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FKING LOLOL!! I don't know why "GyppyD" and "Edy Beatz" makes me die laughing. We need to have a damn "Built-In Rap Name" contest - similar to J'Alone's damn perfume naming thread of all threads!!
*still dying at that J'Alone perfume naming thread"
This DL crew comes up withthe MOST HILARIOUS shit! What I can't stand is when other sites be stealing intellectual property from us. Whatevs. @MK: pweese give us a naming contest...pweeseeeee!!
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"DO AS I SAY AND BUY THE MOTHERFUCKING COCK SHIT GODDAMN FIVE POUND BAG OF THE SODDING WHITE FUCKING POTATOES!" - QBK 10.2010
"LEARN. TO. FUCKING. COUNT. YOU JACKHOLE." - Uvy 10.2010
(...still lmfao!)
The name is bearable, but would be better on a girl and if the child actually had Egyptian heritage. My son's name is not one you hear everyday, but not out there either. His first name is the surname of a famous boxer, one who likes to chomp on ears :)
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That big ten-head must give you lots of brain room, huh, Goldigga - Submitted by Vern on Mon, 10/04/2010 - 9:14am
The name is crap and so is the daddy's face.
Congrats Alicia!!! Although the name is completely stupid.
There was a Venus Packer at my school.
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"My gynecologist committed suicide." ~ Liz Lemmon on her summer break.
Egypt is a stupid name, but not surprising with a father who's named himself "Swizz Beatz" (what the fuck is that supposed to mean anyway?) and a mother who is an ignorant slut.
Daoud is a perfectly nice name, why not give the boy that name and dispense with the stupidity? Or give your DOG a stupid name and your CHILD a name he won't have to be embarrassed about?
Andrea (Italian) = Andrew (English) - I love both forms of that name
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Sat, 10/16/2010 - 11:15am.
And I went to school with a Justin Case, a Yoshika Dawkins, and the sister triumvirate of fuckery: Toyosha, LaShema, and Tarika.
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LaShema would have been terribly mocked in Italy. Nobody could have resisted laughing at her. LaShema sounds just like La Scema = The idiot.
Andrea in Italy is an exclusively male name, and it is also extremely common. My brother always had least a couple of guys also named Andrea in all his classes.
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Escaping Berlustard dictatorship before it's too late
I actually thought about naming my daughter Rhiannon (but negative association with that name)
The negative connotation being that it's really white trash? I've seen so many Rhiannons on Maury. Though Nevaeh is still worse.
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heh heh well, Rhiannon is a nice Celtic name.....but the person attached to that name helped break up a relationship that I was in a long time ago. It wouldn't have been a good fit for my daughter anyway, she is very Mediterranean looking.
Submitted by nightowl
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My name is Andrea (I'm a girl) and I've always hated it. When I found out it's direct defintion is man I hated it even more. Of course all the English dictionaries define it as woman, but there not feeling me. It's weird though, I think Andrea as a boys name is great.
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You're welcome to your opinion unless it differs from mine.
Although I find Egypt slightly unusual, it's not any worse than Brooklyn (Beckham), Ireland (Baldwin), America (Ferrera) or the millions of Brittanys out there. Daoud is pretty mainstream in much of the Muslim world.
Submitted by A Noun _is a pe... on Sat, 10/16/2010 - 10:54am.
He comes with a built-in rap name already: GyppyD.
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I was gonna go with Egy Beatz.
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Although there's pain in my chest, I still wish you the best with a "fuck you". - Cee-lo Green
Submitted by super-ette on Sat, 10/16/2010 - 11:26am.
666 Bristol
Classic
I actually thought about naming my daughter Rhiannon (but negative association with that name)
The negative connotation being that it's really white trash? I've seen so many Rhiannons on Maury. Though Nevaeh is still worse.
Submitted by JeanGenie on Sat, 10/16/2010 - 8:53am.
I always ask myself how the name Andrea (my brother's name, by the way) got turned out as a female one for English speakers. It comes from the greek too, and it means Man, plain and simple.
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In Spanish it's also used to name girls. Andres is the masculine version.
Submitted by Captain Howdy on Sat, 10/16/2010 - 9:41am.
Egypt is not pretty. Everyone lives on one river, so that's obviously going to be a dirty ass river.
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Yeah when i went to Egypt with the choir group I was in, we were shocked that The Nile river wasn't beautiful. I guess we just had high expectations since it so famous and all.
His other kids are named Prince Nasir and Kasseem. HE also has a daughter but wiki didn't mention her name. Now that's the ultimate embarrassment...attaching a royal title to your kid's name. His daughter is probably something like Archduchess Tunisia.
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"I'm like a tree, I feed the branches of the people." - Kanye West
OMG, I loved Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle as a child. Yes, the fuck book did the job and he stopped swearing at school that year. During the meeting, I remember thinking to myself that it was a good thing I'm an easy-going american (or have been here long enough) that what he was saying wasn't offensive to me, lol, and that it would not go over well in the states. It's too bad because it works better than punishment.
I'd love to hear more about the irish use of whore and "fuck patois". I can see I'm not as well read as I need to be and wish to be. :)
Toooo funny about the toucan. But seriously, Egypt? At least Bronx (Wentz) is in the USA.
Alicia has some Long Island roots...why the Arab name????
I'm sure he will live a privileged life, going to the best private schools with other kids named Idiom or Apple...but the sheer psychic discomfort of having to introduce yourself to strangers as "Egypt" is cruel.
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
Submitted by sonne on Sat, 10/16/2010 - 12:27pm.
Thank you,merci,gracias,danke,grazie!
Tom Wolfe's "fuck patois", and an incredibly funny explanation of how "whore"
is used in Ireland would be a good post for an OT thread. For example:
"Ah, you hoor" is equivalent to "That's amazing" or 'Dude,no way!". A cute hoor is a wise ass.
LMAO at your son's "fuck book". That is the perfect description for a pornographic novel written by a high school drop out. The Danes are relaxed about raising children,or at least the staff of your son's school is. Telling a child to write down swear words is un-American. The usual solution is to spank,punish,fine or ignore a child who swears.
On second thought, a 'fuck book" is the idea of a modern Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle.
If you have not read Betty MacDonald,please do so. She wrote for children and adults,and only one isn't great.
So, anybody else think Swizz Dickz was screwing a Candy Stripper while Alicia was squirting out his newest crotch fruit?
@ A Noun:
Gyppy D. LMAO!!!
@Superette:
Lisa Pizzagoni's grandparents owned a deli.We went to different prep schools,so I can only imagine what the boys called that busty honor student.Siobhan is lovely name. I think most Irish names sound beautiful,especially with a soft Irish accent.
@everyone else:
The children's names we remember are funnier than hell. Sometimes a child's name affects his destiny. A family friend named Baxter Jonathan was called B.J. since childhood. Guess where he is now. Triplet sisters of a former coworker were named Sherry,Margarita, and Brandy;they're bartenders.
Since this is the home of the Hot Sluts,here is one more:
My great aunt was named Anais Victoria;her sexual life was like Anais Nin's, not Queen Victoria's.
Verbs in danish end in -er and conjugation is oh, so simple. For example: "to speak" is "taler" and then "I/he/she/we/they speak" is simply the proper pronoun and "tale" (sounds like "tay-la" or thereabouts). Much easier than english. I think knep is used just as a term for the act while there's many other words for swearing, some borrowed from english, most danish. I've heard combinations of english and danish out and about that are funny and weird. I don't really know enough about danish swearing culture since I just use the english words. Not even sure what's considered offensive to a dane since you can hear all our swear words unbleeped on tv here. :)
I was at my younger son's school a few years ago when he was going through a swearing phase. One teacher was explaining how they created a "fuck book" for him (I swear to god, he called it that) whereupon his colleague said, "maybe we should call it the "swearing book" since they wanted my son to stop swearing. Hahahaha The idea of the book was he could write all the words down when he felt like saying them. LOL, this is one of the things that makes me like Denmark.
@Sonne:
"I'll add that the actor Robert Knepper's last name is funny in danish. Knepper means to fuck and yes, you have to pronounce the "k"."
LOL! Awesome.I can out-cuss a bathroom wall in four languages. Give me a lesson in Danish,please. In the infinitive,do verbs end in 'er',like French,or in 'n',like German? How does one conjugate a Danish verb? And does fuck refer to sex only,or do the Danes have what Tom Wolfe called "the fuck patois"? I promise not to tell blond jokes in Denmark.
I think either of you would be good company for just about anything. Triston has that Byronic vibe: He was mad,bad and dangerous to know. Also, I've never seen Sade live & would love to.
@The Breakdon:
Introducing yourself with a reference to Wagner sounds like fun. Your parents didn't know you would train for the opera,but were they interested in classical music? From kindergarten through college,I had schoolmates with names from music or for particular operas:Allegra,Violetta,Aida,Tosca and Eurydice. All of them studied music,ballet,voice,or all of the above.With those names, they had to.
From Faure's Requiem:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvrUcRLiSsk
All Angels stepped in when Charlotte Church decided to get in touch with her inner slut.
OT: They named their son Egypt? Alicia Keys is a great musician and a damned fool in all other areas.
I love Vivian/Vivienne and I love the name Violet! Those are traditional but not common now so they seem very fresh and unique.
I dont know I named both my children's first names after surnames in my family tree (they actually turned out both to be very popular to my dismay) and middle names are after my dad and sister. I like the idea of names having meaning behind them whatever that meaning may be to that person. I do think that Egypt,Apple all these celeb names are just competing to see who can be the most ridiculous
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Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm
damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!
Submitted by super-ette on Sat, 10/16/2010 - 11:26am.
http://www.ssa.gov/OACT/babynames/
Try that to see lists of the most popular name for each year since the 1870S.
looking at the top 1000 names for 2009, let us all be thankful that our mothers didn't name us:
128 Reagan
907 Princess
895 Destiney
853 Mylee
666 Bristol
or for the boys
848 Beckham (?)
991 Chaz
981 Odin
937 Slade
818 Blaze
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Oh my fucking God! I feel so sorry for those kids.
My daughter is a 16 months old. I named her "Vivian" after my late grandmother. I've actually had 2 people-strangers-ask me if I named her after one of the Jolie-Pitts' Twin Messiahs. I actually said to one, "Are you for real?!"
My daughter is a Violet, but she's 18 so it was before any celebrities discovered the name (that I know of) but the best name I ever heard:
My mom went to the prom with Frank Onstein.
Hahahahahahahahahaha...
I actually thought about naming my daughter Rhiannon (but negative association with that name) or Caitlin or Megan (I don't like those names now, way too common/boring) or Meara, which means "merry" in Gaelic - would not have been an apt name for my daughter. Maria suits her much better.
I actually knew of a family in small town Oklahoma whose last name was Dover and they named their kids Ben and Eileen Dover. Ben Dover and Eileen Dover. A friend of mine's son was friends with Ben and she said his parents never went to any of his football games or supported him in anything he did. Well no wonder they didn't care. look what they named their kids!
I would co-sign this kid taking some beatings behind his name if his mom wasn't loaded. He's going to go to schools with kids whose parents have come up with names even more ridiculous and pretentious. In schools for nouveau riche spawn this kid's name is probably going to be one of the more conventional ones.
Isn't Egypt a girl's name? I don't know of any dudes with the name. We'll see how long this happy couple lasts.
http://www.ssa.gov/OACT/babynames/
Try that to see lists of the most popular name for each year since the 1870S.
looking at the top 1000 names for 2009, let us all be thankful that our mothers didn't name us:
128 Reagan
907 Princess
895 Destiney
853 Mylee
666 Bristol
or for the boys
848 Beckham (?)
991 Chaz
981 Odin
937 Slade
818 Blaze
Submitted by Niko on Sat, 10/16/2010 - 11:18am.
I saw some (rather downmarket) family van the other day, on the left corner of the back window it said "Angelina on board", on the right "Jolie on board".
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GTFO!!!!! WAS that in CT??? I know this couple just had twins who named them Angelina and Jolie!! Now when I say "know them" I mean I do bidness with the mason husband of this flagrantly Italian duo.
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Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm
damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!
I saw some (rather downmarket) family van the other day, on the left corner of the back window it said "Angelina on board", on the right "Jolie on board".
Sadly I hadn't eaten yet otherwise I would have barfed all over these statements of serious derangement.
Egypt? How daft. That makes even Bronx Mowgli a good one in comparison.
Who started this shit? I think it was Grace Slick/China, Baldwin Basinger/Ireland, Beckham/Brooklyn plus a minor German celeb/San Diego. LOL there's more to come, how about a Germany, Macedonia, Uruguay, Fidji, North Korea, Cypris, Alaska? You read it here first.
I have a regular name, with the middle names after my grandparents (Henriette Elisabeth), when I have to mention them people look at me as if I was royalty. LOL.
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Auri sacra fames
I hate how people give there baby names that are cute for a newborn and a child, but weird for an adult. And I say this because I did the same thing ( hey - I was 18 and stupid) But there's going to be adults around her with far stupider names, so I think she'll be ok.
Summer Wine?
Thank God there was no Boxed Wine?
Or was that the sister?
And I went to school with a Justin Case, a Yoshika Dawkins, and the sister triumvirate of fuckery: Toyosha, LaShema, and Tarika.
Yes, I'd kill my mama for that too!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
Egypt? For a male? At least he'll grow up with money. I went to school with a Crystal Glass, Summer Wine and Ginger Cox.
A.cotw - a Pizzagoni sounds like something you'd order from Domino's "Get two Pizzagonis for $5.99 each and get two Lava Crunch Cakes plus a 2-liter bottle of soda for just $3.00 more!"
One of the most unfortunate names in my sister's class was Herbie Flanders. No one (especially a baby) should be named Herbie.
sonne - I know. Toy+Glasscock = extreme cruelty
I had a b.f. whose dad was named Donald MacDonald.
My first name is Jennifer with a VERY common Irish surname for my maiden name-BORING. My mother was going to name me Siobhan but changed her mind at the last minute because my grandmother told her everyone would call me "Chiffon".
Triston is a GREAT name.
My kids are named Maria and Gavin. I go for traditional, but hopefully not too common/popular.
He comes with a built-in rap name already: GyppyD.
A.cotw:
I am sure my parents did not know I was going to be an opera singer when I was hatched from the snatch! And in Europe, I often introduce myself in reference to Wagner, since everyone knows it.
And I try not to go to Viking country during the winters because it is brutally cold.
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
Hey A.cotw, I would love to watch Breakdown beat off the ho's here with you. Both your comments about the men here might be more fun though. :)
super-ette, those are some great names. Glasscock is a crazy last name. The only time I've seen that name was on RuPaul's Drag Race.
Since we're playing with names, I'll add that the actor Robert Knepper's last name is funny in danish. Knepper means to fuck and yes, you have to pronounce the "k".
Submitted by super-ette on Sat, 10/16/2010 - 10:25am.
LOL! In grammar school,I had a classmate named Lisa Pizzagoni. No one teased her much.
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Sat, 10/16/2010 - 9:25am.
Your parents were too COOL,naming you Triston. I thought it was another screen name. A well-travelled musician would have a name reflecting a love of opera in general,Wagner in particular.It suits you very well.
*whistles Liebestod*
A child named by an opera fan could do much worse. I wish I could see Sade w/you and Sonne. Watching you beat away Viking tricks with a stick would be the perfect way to end an evening.
OT: Alicia Keys looks 7 kinds of gorgeous in that photo,but she is irredeemably tacky. That slimy-looking man,his absurd name,(which sounds like a Haagen Daaz flavor for the 'hood)the BABY'S name... I wish him luck.
There was a girl in h.s. named Toni Bologna (pronounced it "baloney" - classY) and a kid named Toy Glasscock. I am not kidding. I've spent most of my life in the Boston area (born/raised) except for three years in h.s. in NH. People with the WEIRDEST names...we also had a Maisley Jones (no Toy Glasscock, but still different...).
Egypt does not roll off the tongue.
Whore. That is all.
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"So? I'm intellectual and stuff."
"You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue, and stuff."
I wonder how long it will take for her ego to overrun the both of them.
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HOW DAAAAARRRRRREEEE YOU?! Look at my avvie! LOOK AT IT!
Oprah was born to pontificate (and bloviate as well). Her superpowers are located in her hair thankyouverymuch - by But.Seriously.Folks
Gotta hand it to him - he stayed faithful to her throughout her pregnancy. Now, we'll see how long he lasts now that the kid is here...
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"All the girls in the club wanna know
Where did all their pretty boys go?"