Another Reason For Why I Miss The Old Madge

The Madge of today would never ever write a letter that reads like it was written with a plastic heart pen by a 7th grader at sleepaway camp who only chews watermelon Bubblicious ("Ewww! Grody! Mint is yucky", she says) and is soooo mad that she was forced to use yellow lined paper because she was out of her signature stationary, marbleized hot pink lined paper. Totally bites.

Letters of Note (via Gawker) claims this is a letter Madge wrote to Steven Meisel on the Illinois set of A League Of Their Own (more like "A League Of Their Bitching and Moaning") in 1991.

1991 Madge hates girls, hates Chicago, hates actresses, thinks Geena Davis is a plastic doll filled with factory air and thinks the dudes in Chicago are the opposite of hot. Here's the transcript from LOT.

Dear Steven

For some reason I thought you were angry with me - because I finked out as a judge at the "Love Ball"? Because I'm still nice to Herb Ritts?? Because my hair is the wrong color? I hope you will forgive me for all of the above. Because I cannot suffer any more than I have in the past month learning how to play baseball with a bunch of girls (yuk) in Chicago (double yuk) I have a tan, I am dirty all day and I hardly ever wear make-up. Penny Marshall is Lavern - Geena Davis is a Barbie doll and when God decided where the beautiful men were going to live in the world, he did not choose Chicago. I have made a few friends but they are athletes, not actresses. I hate actresses, they have nothing on the house of extravaganza. I wish I could come to N.Y and visit. Are you having a good Summer? Saw the piece in the N.Y Times Magazine. Great!! - I would love to do this book thing with you so lets talk soon.

THANKS ALOT STEVEN!!

Love Dita

Seriously, I don't even think this generation's Madge knows what "yuk" means. The only time she says "yuk" nowadays is when she puts on her fraudulent English accent to yell at her morning-shift cook for putting egg yolks on her breakfast plate. "You knoh that one dane't eat the yuks! Fie the whites. Mustah this out of one's face! Goodness me! Cheerio!"

Hopefully this will make Madge nostalgic for the old days of bitchery and she'll go back to her old room at the HOUSE OF EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAAA to write more cuntified jewels like this on yellow lined paper.

And you know she folded that letter into an origami heart with "open my heart here" written on top of it.

Posted by: Michael K

•

Submitted by Vern on Sun, 10/17/2010 - 8:33pm.

Haven't read any of this, but MK said 'For Why'
He is so having mah babeh now!
xoxoxox

*chanting as always*

Submitted by Starqz on Fri, 10/15/2010 - 2:54pm.

Submitted by Bjork You on Fri, 10/15/2010 - 10:37am.
Submitted by Starqz: regarding handwriting analysis.

Please, please elaborate. How can you tell? I do write my lowercase "a" like her, imitating the courier font "a." Yikes!
-----------------

I'm not an expert on handwriting analysis but when I used to study it there were examples of handwriting similar to Vadge and it mainly talked about the way a person wrote, like the thickness of their print and how they shaped their Y's were a big deal. Having an a in this type of style did not indicate negative qualities.

Submitted by Bjork You on Fri, 10/15/2010 - 9:07am.

Submitted by Starqz: regarding handwriting analysis.

Please, please elaborate. How can you tell? I do write my lowercase "a" like her, imitating the courier font "a." Yikes!

Submitted by Starqz on Fri, 10/15/2010 - 9:02am.

I wish someone would do a legitimate handwriting analysis of this letter. From the time I spent studying it, without knowing anything about who the person is her handwriting seems to be one of someone who is bitchy, two-faced, angry, jealous, and back-stabbing just to name a few qualities. Things I suppose Madge really IS in real life..

Submitted by Centaurious on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 9:36pm.

What constitutes "write?"

Shakespeare?

Are WE writing here on Dlisted?

If not, what are we doing.

_________________________________
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Plato

Submitted by z-listed on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 9:25pm.

She didn't "write" a thing. This letter is nothing more than fancy printing.

And wasn't this the film that made Rosie O"Donnell her friend for a few weeks? Too bad she was so miserable, this was the only movie of hers that didn't suck BIG TIME!!

Submitted by Centaurious on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 9:16pm.

Madge is smart. Another person in the business back then would just be like, "well, I'll kiss his ass the next time I see him."

People LOVE getting letters! Almost nobody takes the time to write them (especially today), that was a smart move on her part.

I don't disagree with anything she said. Penny Marshall has always seemed like a cunt to me, I don't know about Geena Davis, but I'm sure Madonna didn't like playing second fiddle and who wants to be shut up with a bunch of twats all day long with no guys except hermaphrodite Tom Hanks?!

Go, Madonna!

_________________________________
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Plato

Submitted by dulcecali on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 8:44pm.

OMG!! She HATES actresses? What would Fishsticks say?

Submitted by kikichanelconspiracy on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 5:54pm.

"she's obviously never been to Chicago"

I know, right? If she wants to see ugly men, she can come and bunk with me in D.C. I could also teach her Madge-sty that 'ALOT' in the context of her letter is spelled 'A LOT'. Being two separate words and all.

If you ever want to see self-imporant douchebag 28 years olds who do not look a day under 41, drop on by my personal Hell. I was in ChiTown for a conference in August and I thought the men were fine. Then again, I had my DC glasses on, so maybe I needed some calibration.

"Madge hated Geena Davis. It's not exactly a secret!"

In Madge's defense, I am a Massachusetts native who knows a few people from Geena Davis' hometown and Davis' cuntiness is just as outsized as her six foot frame. A total hag. Trust. At least Madonna wears her bitch pants with pride.
_____
If love had a dick I would eff with it. But it doesn't (it has a no crotch like Barbie).

Submitted by BernardProfitendieu on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 4:39pm.

she's obviously never been to Chicago

Submitted by Gracejones on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 4:18pm.

There will never be anyone like Madonna. Totally iconic. Soon Gaga will try to rip this off I am sure. Madonna, you are number 1 forever!!

Submitted by Who Datt on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 4:03pm.

More and more she reminds me of the character Joan Collins played on "Roseanne": a trailer-trash Midwestern cunt who moved to England, married into society and came back to Illinois to rub her poor relations' noses into her "higher status". Someone should tell her that despite her billions, her Brazilians and her minions, she ain't that many miles away from 8 Mile Road.

Submitted by brandonjaye on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 3:50pm.

I didn't live here in chicago when she wrote this, or when she was relevant, so this doesn't apply to me.

Submitted by Margaret on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 1:47pm.

She doesn't like to be around women who are prettier than her. The Geena Davis thing is so tranparent. Her best friend was Rosie O'Donnel for crying out loud. It just screams of insecurity.

That said, this letter isn't that bad. She's actually a lot kinder than she could have been, I'm sure.

Submitted by Crash_Override on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 1:18pm.

She's a world class cunt and I kinda love her for that.
You know nice people will rather die than reveal their inner cuntness to the world.

Submitted by Crash_Override on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 1:18pm.

She's a would class cunt and I kinda love her for that.
You know nice people will rather die than reveal their inner cuntness to the world.

Submitted by Whatever on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 1:17pm.

This coming from a woman who can't act her way out of a paper bag and grew up in Pontiac Michigan. What a douche.

Submitted by HoityToity on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 12:40pm.

And that is exactly how you write down an English accent. LMAO!

Submitted by literarylioness on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 12:35pm.

This is almost as good as those phone messages that came out a few years ago to her bouncer boyfriend. I can't think of his name, but they were so sad yet funny. She even put Lola on to guilt trip him into calling her.

Anyhoo, Madge met Rosie O'Donnell on this film and they became best buds. Besides this film did not suck as bad as her other films. The worse was The Next Best Thing. My then boyfriend demanded I pay him for the time that movie took out of his life AND the price of admission. I gave it too him, because that film was that bad.

Submitted by IrishFury on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 12:34pm.

Madonna is from Bay City, Michigan, a far suburb of Detroit. She is not from Ann Arbor, although she attended U of M for a while.

________________________________
Dark-sided!

Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 12:02pm.

Madge hated Geena Davis. It's not exactly a secret!
--------------------------------------
"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.

I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."

Submitted by StormyWeathers on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 11:51am.

Oh no, no more Vadge? I liked this name so much.

Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 11:44am.

Woohoo Brick Township for #2 safest. I live one town over!

Submitted by Kerfuffles on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 11:36am.

Her letter reads like a 14-year old drug-fuelled rantings. Also she wrote "ALOT" which automatically makes her my sworn enemy.

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 11:13am.

The first numbers are safe cities, the second are the highest cities for crime.
1
Newton, MA

Camden, NJ

Brick Twnshp, NJ

Detroit, MI

Amherst, NY

Atlanta, GA

Mission Viejo, CA

St. Louis, MO

Clarkstown, NY

Gary, IN

Lake Forest, CA

Washington, DC

Thousand Oaks, CA

Hartford, CT

Colonie, NY

New Orleans, LA

Cary, NC

Richmond, VA

Dover Twnshp, NJ

Birmingham, AL

Irvine, CA

Baltimore, MD

Troy, MI

Richmond, CA

Greece, NY

Memphis, TN

Parma, OH

Jackson, MS

Hamilton Twnshp, NJ

Tampa, FL

Danbury, CT

San Bernardino, CA

Simi Valley, CA

Compton, CA

Sunnyvale, CA

Springfield, MA

Sterling Heights, MI

Miami, FL

Livonia, MI

Cleveland, OH

Lee's Summit, MO

Dayton, OH

Farmington Hills, MI

North Charleston, SC

Orem, UT

Little Rock, AR

Fargo, ND

Oakland, CA

Stamford, CT

Cincinnati, OH

Submitted by blaase on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 10:56am.

im with Madge Chicago does suck ( can't believe they thought they had a shot at the 2016 olympics)

Submitted by i_heart_jack on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 10:46am.

Starz is playing A League of Their Own right now.

Submitted by justaguest on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 10:45am.

Double yuck on Chicago from a grossly hairy-bushed cunt from Michigan? Bitch, please!

Submitted by Vern on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 10:35am.

Camden is surprising because they aren't really close enough to the Guiduccis to make them lose their faith in humanity and want to end it all.

*chanting as always*

Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 10:21am.

OneLiner, I believe #1 was Camden, NJ for a few years in a row, not sure if they still top the list.

Submitted by louise_brooks on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 10:11am.

Submitted by HollyG on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 11:19am.

Seeing as she was from Michigan idk what she was expecting Chicago to be like. Sorry bitch we got shit to do around here besides be impressed with you.

```````````

LMAO! Perfectly stated.

Submitted by louise_brooks on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 10:09am.

Submitted by OneLiner on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 11:08am.

so who was #1?

````````````````````

You're already on the internet. I'm not the homeworking f'ing hotline.

Submitted by Husbands_and_Wives on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 10:08am.

How can anybody hate on Chicago? I spent some time in there in the late 90s while visiting relatives and I freaking loved it.

...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...

Submitted by Jeepster on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 9:57am.

wow -

i hope this kills (forever) the misconception that Madge is "smart".

Her only talent was at self-promotion.

"vaya con huevos mi amigos"

Submitted by HollyG on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 9:49am.

Seeing as she was from Michigan idk what she was expecting Chicago to be like. Sorry bitch we got shit to do around here besides be impressed with you.

"Picking a favorite blog is like picking a favorite crackhead. I don't know if I can do it" (MK, you're my fave crackhead)

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 9:49am.

Submitted by parissucksliterally on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 11:08am.
heehee Evil Cupcake. That drives me bananas. So does "noone". Grrrrrrrrr

*****************************

OMG! PSL, I just had a fit on another site this morning over NOONE!

NO ONE, NO ONE! If you are talking about the 12pm hour it's NOON. Oh, it drives me to insanity!

It says alot about noone nowing how to spell! LOL!

Submitted by parissucksliterally on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 9:47am.

ok Ang, that certainly makes it more clear. :)

*******************************************
Fast as you can baby wait watch me I'll be out
Fast as you can maybe late but at least about
Fast as you can leave me let this thing run it's route
Fast as you can......
- Fiona Apple

Submitted by Ang on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 9:44am.

Yes, I know that PSL.

What I meant was --- How can someone from an armpit of a place like Vadge comes from hate on a cool city like Chicago?

Submitted by SpiceDong on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 9:40am.

Submitted by Spidermonkey on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 11:01am.

..never an ounce of humility that she should have been lucky to be in a major motion picture.
-------------------------------------------------

Well she did do a LOT of coksucking and grovelling to get that role plus she had Lourdes in the oven then...not rare for pregnant women to get all fuzzy...but being Vadge you know the level of cuntery on that set was nuclear.

"The best way to keep your figure is to give your food to the hungry" - Audrey Hepburn

·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>

Submitted by Datura on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 9:39am.

This letter looks and sounds exactly like the jokey/bitchy notes my friends and I would pass in high school.

I read it with an edge of irony (I don't know if it was supposed to be ironic), so it really didn't seem that cunty to me. Madonna is useless and has a pencil up her bum now, but she used to have a sense of humour back in the day...

*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*
Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb

Submitted by OneLiner on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 9:38am.

Submitted by louise_brooks on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 11:03am.
Submitted by OneLiner on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 10:46am.

Isn't Chicago like number one for Crime and suicide?.....I heard that somewhere.....

```````

Yeah probably from Madonna/Dita/Ester/WTF else she calls herself. According to Forbes magazine, Chicago is #10 on the list. Detroit and Flint, both in Madonna's home state of Michigan rank at #4 and #5.

-------------------------------------------

so who was #1?

***********************************************
"Home remedy #108: IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL
BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

Submitted by parissucksliterally on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 9:38am.

heehee Evil Cupcake. That drives me bananas. So does "noone". Grrrrrrrrr

Ang, last I looked Ann Arbor is in Michigan, and Chicago is in Illinois.

Submitted by Ang on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 9:36am.

Vadge is from Ann Arbor, FFS. How can she hate on Chicago?

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 9:36am.

A LOT. Not ALOT.

Submitted by Bjork You on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 9:36am.

Isn't Vince Vaughn from Chicago?
http://evilbeetgossip.film.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/vince_vaughn.j...

Richard M. Daly?
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_vmpSO2BbYCE/SA4s921jovI/AAAAAAAABKw/Mab72o8ydy...

Just kidding. Cool Chicagoans:
Arron McGruder, Gillian Anderson, Frances McDorman, and Liz Phair (born in New Haven but raised in Chicago)

Submitted by louise_brooks on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 9:33am.

Submitted by OneLiner on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 10:46am.

Isn't Chicago like number one for Crime and suicide?.....I heard that somewhere.....

```````

Submitted by SpiceDong on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 9:30am.

Chicago is a great city...probably one of the few places I would move in a heartbeat if the right opportunity came along...AND there's plenty of HOT men...so Vadge is just venting because most likely the men there did not find HER attractive at all when she tried to pick up some in her limo like she used to do in the East Village.

-------------------------------------------------
"The best way to keep your figure is to give your food to the hungry" - Audrey Hepburn

·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>

Submitted by Sweetas on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 9:30am.

Submitted by louise_brooks on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 10:13am.
On behalf of the City of Chicago- CHOKE ON OUR COLLECTIVE FAT ONE, BITCH.

This made me giggle my ass off!

Submitted by harveyprice on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 9:25am.

Who cares if this 80 year old whore disses Chicago? People from Chicago have a tendancy to be REALLY defensive about their city, so maybe that's why she talks shit. From personal experience, I have found the women of Chicago to be less attractive than their male counterparts. But that could be because of all the chicks coming from Michigan, Ohio, etc. that settle in the city and claim it as their own.

"You run Barter Town, you fix it...."