The "Half Man" In Two And A Half Men Is Richer Than You

17-year-old Angus T. Jones (seen here with his fluorescent gingerling of a brother) of Two and a Half Men will continue to play Jake Harper on the show for the next two seasons in exchange for $300,000 per episode and a $500,000 signing bonus. Basically, CBS filled their dump truck with crisp hundred dollars bill, backed it onto Angus' front yard and dropped that shit. Angus is making it rain thanks to people like my mom who will stab a trick in the froat with a rusty spork if you interrupt them during Two and a Half Men (I will send her a hate note in a Precious Moments card on your behalf).

TMZ says that CBS has ordered 48 episodes of the show, which means that Angus' piggy bank will be filled with $14.4 million not including bonuses. Charlie Sheen makes $2 million an episode, and Jon Cryer gets around $450,000.

Angus needs to close his ears and hum a loud tune whenever Charlie Sheen tries to give him financial advice. Dude does not want to waste all of his money on overpriced pussy peddlers, the bad shit and fancy cars he will eventually drunk drive into the canyon near his mansion. Learn from Gary Coleman and MC Hammer. Angus wants his future to look like this:

In the future, Angus does not want to be selling his Underoos on eBay and hosting the opening of mobile phone kiosks in exchange for a gift card to Walgreens. Scratch that. That was a bad example since being a professional panty seller on eBay is better than being Frankie Muniz.

Posted by: Michael K

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FML • I Can't With You • We Can All Go Home Now • Why Are You Doing This To Us?

Submitted by Poopele on Sat, 10/09/2010 - 3:18pm.

To be the poor chubby orange-haired brother of the little fat kid from Charlie Sheen's ole TV show is how that little bastard will have to go thorugh life.

Pity.

Submitted by Goldigga on Sat, 10/09/2010 - 5:20am.

That little ginge is one of the cutest kids I've seen...apart from baby Goldigga of course. I can only tolerate this show in small doses. Allan / Jon is a sorry excuse for a man and Rose needs to be wiped off the planet entirely

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Drink...Fight...Fuck

Submitted by Khensu Hetep on Sat, 10/09/2010 - 12:25am.

This kid, the maid, and the mother are the only good things about this show. Charlie, his brothers, and their girlfriends are about as funny as fucking syphillis. I don't mind him.

And do you know what pisses me off about SitComs? That ANY of the women on the shows with half a fucking functioning brain are portrayed as manipulative, prudish, and vindictive. Example: Alan's wife. She's smart and attractive in a way that she doesn't look like a bar slut, so by default they've got to make her a frigid, uptight bitch.

♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣
Nothing quite matches self righteousness for the sake of not being self righteous.

Submitted by buddhistgirl69 on Sat, 10/09/2010 - 12:05am.

Good on ya kid! Don't let Mom and Dad manage the cash...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SX2KzqM3qU

Submitted by sonah22 on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 10:24pm.

Hate to say this, and I always analyze this about child stars: This one might have the hots when he's older. Dunno why, but he has a slight James McAvoy face. Low carb diet at 18, and he could be set. Right?

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You never know when a pap is going to take your picture. And you never know when a blogger wearing stained sweat shorts is going to post said picture.

-MK

Submitted by Thats What He Said on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 10:07pm.

Now I know why CBS fired like half the cast of Criminal Minds...they needed to throw more money at these dumbasses. Charlie Sheen needs to go away. Seriously.

Also, that kid is absolutely ridiculous looking (and I'm not talking about the Gingerific one...he's actually pretty cute).

Submitted by nightowl on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 8:33pm.

Submitted by sofster101 on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 3:31pm.

So are people on this kid for being clearly overweight like they'd be on a female actress who'd put on a measly two pounds?

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Werd. I remember in the Full House E! True H-Wood Story that Candace Cameron and Jodie Sweetin would try to take care of themselves to not gain weight and they didn't look unhealthy.

Submitted by CandyPerfumeGirl on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 6:40pm.

I'm gonna have to quit my job and start making real money.
..

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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity

Submitted by shandi on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 6:38pm.

I've NEVER liked this kid. In my opinion, he can't act and he is NOT funny. And those yellow teeth - EWWW. He's seventeen for christ sake and he has yellower teeth than most OLD people. And why in the HELL is this lame ass show still on? 48 more episodes? You have got to be kidding me!

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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK

Submitted by Spiffy McSpitshine on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 6:22pm.

Must adopt ginger baby...NOW! Can't believe that douche Sheen gets $2M an episode to have his ego stroked with bimbo laden storylines. Member, Two 1/2 is one of the shows where Professor Whoreface got her start in a binkini and slutty outfits. That alone is shame, shame, shame. Remember when sitcoms were funny? Been a long time.

Nothing is more important in this world than lookin' spiffy

Submitted by Centaurious on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 3:44pm.

Submitted by K2 on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 1:56pm.
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 10:39am.
Submitted by K2 on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 10:31am.

Charlie is overrated. In every scene he has a drink in one hand and a woman in his bed

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oh and don't forget his oily tan crossed legs. What's that about? It's so creepy.
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And that stupid ass bowling shirt with the lame grandpa white socks! UGGH! We're suppose to believe that women find him appealing?

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The anklets have got to go. He looks like a cheerleader in drag and his legs are so scrawny I'm shocked he doesn't need grandpa garters to hold them up.

Moron. Whoever said he has a drink in his hand and a woman in his bed the entire show is right, the only time that isn't happening is literally if he is eating or sleeping.

Great role model.

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"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Plato

Submitted by Centaurious on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 3:39pm.

He looks like a taxidermist.

Congrats, though, working with Charlie for all those seasons should be monetarily rewarded.
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"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Plato

Submitted by Sandbitch on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 3:24pm.

Submitted by Husbands_and_Wives on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 3:53pm.

My boyfriend is a ginge so the day we're ready for a baby I'm hoping for a little ginge baby like this one in the picture. Soooo cute!

---ahhhhaaaahaaaa! You wish...

Sorry :)

Submitted by Carpe Diem on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 3:21pm.

HAHAHAHAH these comments are hilarious!
:) You guys are amazing. :)

Submitted by Aunt Bea on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 3:17pm.

With all that money he should be able to afford a makeover....

Submitted by The Mad Catter on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 2:39pm.

Submitted by joe shmoe on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 4:04pm.

I want that gorgeous little boy.

...it may look cute now, but it'll grow up to be a huge, fat, ridiculous firecrotch monster! Imagine that thing during the awkward phase!!!

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19 Cats and Counting!

THE FULL RELEASE LOOP

What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764
The sound of the BR

Submitted by joe shmoe on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 2:34pm.

I want that gorgeous little boy.

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Trick Pony
"She is fat and I am cross- eyed with bad skin. We all have flaws. Hers is the fatness."

Submitted by vidz on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 2:34pm.

ubmitted by kari54 on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 3:52pm.

@vidz... I lover stalkergirl Rose.. hate the show, but she was awesome in heavenly creatures (with kate winslet, directed by peter jackson).. then kate got all famous, and she had trouble getting roles.. I hate that, because I think she was just as good an actress (but not as glamorous looking)

I know right? She seems genuinely sweet too. I suppose that's why she gets type cast as mousey best friend.

Interesting sidenote(to me atleast), she's married to that guy who played Mary Lightly on Psych! Best show ever. charlie Sheen gets 2 mill, James Roday was ROBBED!

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"All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his." Oscar Wilde

Submitted by ScarfnBarf on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 2:30pm.

Then maybe this fat fuck can buy a lap band, some teeth whitener and a nose job.

Submitted by vidz on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 2:29pm.

Submitted by zestyfuzz on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 3:17pm.

On a side note, that little kid has the orangest hair I have ever seen. There needs to be a show on tv with a family of redheads. Brad Wollack can play the dad.

There is. It's called desperate housewives.

But the dad should be this guy: http://bethmorrissey.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/damian-lewis.jpg

And the mom:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jaime_Ray_Newman
She is lovely and she is the real life embodiment of Jessica rabbit and she really can act. She NEEDS to be in more things.

And of course Emma Stone should play the gravelly voiced feisty teen.

Lindsey can pad up a muumuu and play the grandma.

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"All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his." Oscar Wilde

Submitted by Husbands_and_Wives on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 2:23pm.

My boyfriend is a ginge so the day we're ready for a baby I'm hoping for a little ginge baby like this one in the picture. Soooo cute!

...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...

Submitted by kari54 on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 2:22pm.

Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 2:04pm.

Submitted by sofster101 on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 3:31pm.
So are people on this kid for being clearly overweight like they'd be on a female actress who'd put on a measly two pounds?
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*raising freshly manicured hands* HELL TO THE FUCK YES I AM

Submitted by sofster101 on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 2:01pm.

So are people on this kid for being clearly overweight like they'd be on a female actress who'd put on a measly two pounds?

Submitted by mbar on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 1:52pm.

Delayed reaction:

My God, that ginger is so GINGER!!!

Submitted by zestyfuzz on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 1:47pm.

I watch Two and a Half Men on reruns every once in a while. Sometimes it's funny. Every so often there are dirty jokes and I think the three of them work well together.

I don't mind Angus being a millionaire, but I have a problem with Frankie Muniz having $40 million. I never could stand that Malcom in the Middle show, and the fact that Frankie wasted so much money on that Fast and the Furious car when he was 16 really bothered me. And here Frankie is insulting people for not having as much money as him. Good God, it's not like you need any talent to be a child star. All you need is parents who don't want you to have a normal childhood.

On a side note, that little kid has the orangest hair I have ever seen. There needs to be a show on tv with a family of redheads. Brad Wollack can play the dad.

Submitted by kokoskitten on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 1:46pm.

Charlie Sheen deserves to burn in hell for earning 2 million an episode.
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and I was helping children in Morocco, it wasn't like a vacation...

Submitted by urmomma on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 1:42pm.

Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 1:58pm.
Submitted by urmomma on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 12:49pm.
I am gonna go home and slap the shitoutta my husband! I wanted red headed babies, that is why I hooked up with him, but NO!

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My last one was the redhead.
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Awwwe.
Crap.
*goes home to color children's hair with food coloring*

**I ALT 12 you!**
Submitted by loozer on Thu, 03/04/2010 - 9:05pm.
UrMomma!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyngFurWy14

Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 1:27pm.

fatty needs to invest some of that loot on his teefs & a sadistic personal trainer, cuz damn

Optimism is a political act. Those who benefit from the status quo are perfectly happy for us to think nothing is going to get any better. In fact,these days cynicism is obedience. - Alex Steff

Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 1:13pm.

Love that little ginger brother. He has got to be the cutest kid i have seen in a while.
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I fixed dinner, i get bottom. I called it!!

Submitted by justaguest on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 12:57pm.

I've never watched this show, what's it about? Don't tell me because I really don't give a fuck.

Submitted by mbar on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 12:36pm.

His parents must've really like AC/DC if they gave him the hideous name of Angus.

Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 12:28pm.

Submitted by urmomma on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 12:49pm.
I am gonna go home and slap the shitoutta my husband! I wanted red headed babies, that is why I hooked up with him, but NO!

****

My last one was the redhead.

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Although there's pain in my chest, I still wish you the best with a "fuck you". - Cee-lo Green

Submitted by K2 on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 12:26pm.

Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 10:39am.
Submitted by K2 on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 10:31am.

Charlie is overrated. In every scene he has a drink in one hand and a woman in his bed

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oh and don't forget his oily tan crossed legs. What's that about? It's so creepy.
**************

And that stupid ass bowling shirt with the lame grandpa white socks! UGGH! We're suppose to believe that women find him appealing?

Submitted by rotten_egg on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 12:12pm.

Forgot to add that Two and a Half Men sucks balls. I tried to watch that show since it first came out and haven't seen what's so appealing about it. Didn't find it funny either.

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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.

Submitted by rotten_egg on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 12:09pm.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Actors will continue to make buttloads of money for doing nothing at all while real working peons will die poor. Life sucks and whatever.

What's important is that super cute electric ginger kid. That's THE most adorable ginge I have ever seen and that hair color is fucking awsome.

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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.

Submitted by vidz on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 12:05pm.

Submitted by Bowchickawawa on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 12:03pm.

Angus plays the best character on that show. He steals every scene he is in. I have a really hard time buying Cryer as a hetero and Sheen just looks used and busted. He cannot portray the handsome playboy anymore when he usually looks like he needs a hit off his crack pipe or his head is going roll off his neck. Sheen looks like under his clothes, he has the physique of Moe the bartender.

Charlie s looking more and more like a busted Cyrano de Bergerac on that shit show.

And somebody hire that ginge to be Lynette's 15th million fug ginge kid on that other shit show desperate housewives.

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"All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his." Oscar Wilde

Submitted by Echo27 on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 11:56am.

The kid is 17. Shouldn't it just be called Three Men by now???

Submitted by LisaRose on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 11:48am.

LUCKY kid!! I will never watch that show due to Charlie Sheen who should have been fired.

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I Love You More
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Submitted by Heron on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 11:40am.

That little brother is insanely adorable with that red hair. He looks like a little cartoon!

* * * * *
Whatevs, man. Whatevs.

Submitted by azgirl on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 11:37am.

That kids orange hair is the shit! So flippin' cute.

Submitted by madam ex on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 11:37am.

Never even seen an episode, but gotta agree, that red headed kid is gorgeous, his color is beautiful...I love me some Ginges.

Submitted by Wonder Woman on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 11:23am.

the little brother is so freakin cute.....gingers are the shit!!!!

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"low self esteem is a bitch"...

Submitted by urmomma on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 11:19am.

I am gonna go home and slap the shitoutta my husband! I wanted red headed babies, that is why I hooked up with him, but NO! I have lil' blond ones!*dries eyes* Okay, my blondies are georgous and my life, but I was just sayin'.....
I should have hooked up with snowy! damn.

**I ALT 12 you!**
Submitted by loozer on Thu, 03/04/2010 - 9:05pm.
UrMomma!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyngFurWy14

Submitted by harveyprice on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 11:09am.

I will join the delightful course on here and ask "who in the fuck watches this show?" The same people who would watch King of Queens or Everybody Loves Raymond is my guess.

"You run Barter Town, you fix it...."

Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 11:06am.

I only watch this show because BH does. I was bored with it two seasons ago. But I LOVE Jake's role.

Submitted by chaka1 on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 11:02am.

Ducky, I mean John Crier needs to get it together. However $450,000 an episode is about 10000X more than what I make, which makes him ATTRACTIVE!!!

Hey!

Submitted by DR.FUNK on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 10:48am.

Happy for the kid.I'll never watch the show but still...somebody wants to cut him a fat check.It's not like he should refuse.His baby bro looks to be TV-ready too.