Bret Michaels' Cartoon Abs Are All Real
Billboard released a picture they swear is Bret Michaels in all his organic glory after a bunch of bitches (yours truly included) screamed at the top of their keyboards that somebody used the decapitation Photoshop tool on his head and then placed it on top of cartoon He-Man's body. On the left is a 100% natural Bret without one layer of Photoshop touching his skin, and on the right is what showed up on the cover.
Billboard's photo editor says they only did the normal amount of retouching to the picture including smoothing out his wrinkles and bronzing his skin. Blair Bunting, the photographer who shot the cover, added, "When he took off his shirt, I was like, 'This guy's in shape for 47! It's always easy for someone to cry 'Photoshop,' so I wasn't too surprised by that...but he takes his shape seriously."
The SANS PSHOP version looks a millions times better than the mess they ended up with. I mean, it looks like they slathered him in store brand barbecue sauce, roasted him in a backyard chimenea and threw a couple half-melted Hershey Kisses over his nipples before scooping his belly button out so that it looks like Tommy Girl's post-orgy yes-yes hole. Actually, now that I put it that way I like the screwed with picture better. Well, who doesn't want Hershey Kisses for nipples?
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I used to like him 20 years ago....now I find him irritating....
Submitted by Stan Hooper on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 6:11am.
I second that, it is delish and I can only find it in one supermarket in my area.
Thanks, MC.
Gross, I guess it's a fungal infection. Since I knew SO many girls who had it, and all of them used tanning beds, I can only assume that they all caught it from dirty ass tanning salons.
http://searchwarp.com/swa267389.htm
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19 Cats and Counting!
THE FULL RELEASE LOOP
What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764
The sound of the BR
They should have Photoglued Stretch Armstrong's body below his head.... whch reminds me of the time I wanted to see how far you can stretch Stretch Armstrong.. I ripped his arms off....and it is not filled with pink goo.....It's not even edible!!! DAMN THEM!!!!
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"I'm not doing shit to him, but fucking and having my career" ~ Montana 2010
I don't know what they're called, I'm not a dermatologist, but several girls have told me "oh yeah, I got these from tanning...sucks!!!". Even when I was in high school girls would have them. They're just white splotches that look like a fucking disease against their brown, leathery skin.
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19 Cats and Counting!
THE FULL RELEASE LOOP
What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764
The sound of the BR
What white splotches? You mean the itty bitty ones that look like age spots, only white? I see that all the time, but I thought it was only 60 year old women who over-tanned their whole lives. What are those?
The Mad Catter - point taken. I just find it more curious bc it seems such a popular thing to do and IMHO, doesn't do much by ways of looks. I guess everyone wants to look like they just got back from vacation.
Chica Robitica
Plenty of "non-whites" go tanning. It's definitely NOT race-limited. That being said, I think having a serious tan looks like shit. Girls around here go to tanning beds so often that you'll see 20-year-olds with leathery ass faces and permanent white splotches all over their back and chest from overtanning. I signed up for a month tanning package once to try it so I didn't burn on vacation, and I never went back. A girl walked into the tanning salon and said "I have to cancel my account". The girl at the counter asks why. The girl canceling her account casually answered "my doctor found a cancerous mole and is making me stop tanning". Umm, no thanks.
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19 Cats and Counting!
THE FULL RELEASE LOOP
What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764
The sound of the BR
As a non-white person, I have to say I find their penchant for tanning is absolutely fascinating... but I don't think it makes anyone look any better. Bret Michaels included. :( I recently drove from soCal to Chicago (road trip!) and when I passed through Nebraska, the big talk was about a new law taxing tanning salons. It was a BIG deal. Every radio station was discussing it and going through the stats. Who knew it was such a big business in Nebraska?
it just looks like a well defined pot belly in both pics...his posture reminds me of an old man trying to be fit...I love Bret, and admire his hutzpah, but please put on a damn shirt...
If it ain't broke, don't fix it...he had pretty nice abs in the first pic!
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The non-Photoshopped photo is absolutely the better one. The Photoshopping process appears to have added extra flab and wrinkles to the photo.
The original pic looks better than the photoshop version
www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous
good for brett repping for the over 40 crowd...i think he's gross in general, but if i had to choose, i'd choose the non photoshopped picture...
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don't slap me cuz i'm not in the mood....
HAHAHA!!! You fat arse, they're on back-order.
LOL DWM I wish ;(
I'm actually late, on the bus to the city
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"a cheap teenage whore from the San Gabriel Valley." = MK
Snowy -- what are you doing awake this early. Get back in bed. ____________________________________________
This is why we can't have nice things!
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-Hat 04/27/2010
IG!!! xoxoxoxox
Did u pick up my Extra Large Depends????
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"a cheap teenage whore from the San Gabriel Valley." = MK
Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 6:46am.
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Get off of my lawn, you WHIPPERSNAPPERS!! :)
To whoever said old guys bodies are gross
Someday you'll be in your 40's and ur gonna thank your fucking lucky stars if your man has as good of a body as BM (unless ur Demi Moore)
I'm lucky, my man's is better ;p
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"a cheap teenage whore from the San Gabriel Valley." = MK
Sonne!
MEMEME It was me and he was soooooo nice
I always thought he was kinda gross b4 but he was very sweet
TEAM LEAVE BRET ALOOOONE
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"a cheap teenage whore from the San Gabriel Valley." = MK
AHAHAHAHAHA! My 6-year old daughter just came up to me, saw the picture and said: "Momma, I know the difference between those two pictures... One of them is a cartoon and one of them is real!"
Smart kid. :)
☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠
BIGGEST COMPLIMENT EVER:
"skybitch, you are one of most disgusting posters here ever. period."
Seriously folks!!
His Diet Snapple Trop a rocka is the best drink on Earth! Oh my God! I can drink it by the gallon! Sweet Jesus! I'd consider it in
an IV bag to save my life!! Lol!!!
Only time I'd allow Bret in my mouth!!
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Seriously why does he not work on his tittie muscles. They are drooping and looking southward. There is not built up muscle tissue there at all. Tragic waste of working out on the abs if the chesticles are a non event. Grosses me out.
Orange vs. weird brown? Geez, hard to choose.....which is worse, lol. I'll give him credit because someone here met him and said he was cool (sorry can't remember who met him). If he's nice to a d-lister, then he's ok. :)
I don't know why, but I like him. The retouch made him look like a bronze statue in the antiquities section of a museum.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SX2KzqM3qU
All he does is fuck skanky strippers. Just burning off the VD would give you a six pack.
"Barney's does not carry a dress that makes your nipples look like they are bleeding lace." MK
Here he is without the bandanna:
http://www.metal-rules.com/interviews/images/poison/bret-p02.jpg
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If you want to act like a turd, go lay in the yard.
I really, really hate belly buttons.
Especially extreme innies. *shudder*
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Nothing quite matches self righteousness for the sake of not being self righteous.
In the 80's I wore a headband to school. My math teacher advised me to never take it off again, because he suspected it was essential in keeping my brains from escaping. Maybe Michaels' math teacher gave him the same advice.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
His belly button in the Photoshopped pic is huge.
You could run your dryer for a year and still need more lint to fill it.
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“Four be the things I'd be better without; love, curiousity, freckles and doubt.”
This looks like Lindsay Lohan.
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Nothing quite matches self righteousness for the sake of not being self righteous.
I LOVED Rock of Love and Flavor of love...for the first two seasons. They both got kind of sad, ugly, and hard to watch after that. Bret seems like a nice guy. He is working the indian casino circuit right now.
In the retouched pic, he looks like a Ma's Roadhouse Oscar.
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“Four be the things I'd be better without; love, curiousity, freckles and doubt.”
Oh look...I'm old but see how great my body looks....GET THE FUCK ATTA HERE!! Really people put your clothes back on!
Oh for Christ's sake get over yourself already Bart! Everyone on covers of magazines are airbrushed to the high heavans. Love all the baggy wrinkles under his arms btw.
<----1986 is that way.
Submitted by sofster101 on Thu, 10/07/2010 - 7:43pm.
so what was wrong with his skin tone before?
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Ditto. WTF with the bronzing?
I know 50-something men who are this buff or better, and I guesstimate that Bret Michaels is at least as vain as I am, so I believe he does his time at the gym for his abs. But if it ain't broke, mofos shouldn't have fixed it.
Optimism is a political act. Those who benefit from the status quo are perfectly happy for us to think nothing is going to get any better. In fact,these days cynicism is obedience. - Alex Steff
so what was wrong with his skin tone before?
Meh. Go away Bret. Take your weave, your bandana, your shitty music and even shittier TV shows someplace where they might be appreciated. Like the sun.
"in every dream home, a heartache"
#1 - that ain't bronzer, that's pewterer
#2 - sure those can be his abs if he paid for them...how do they splain the lack of tits? So he spends 5hrs/day doing crunches, but pays no bother to the boobage?
#3 - again, if that ain't retouched, then he sure has a fucking load comin' 'round the mountain on his left.
There's something gross about old guys no matter what shape they're in.
If no makeup = "sans fards," I think no photoshop should = "sans phards."
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Dlisted poster Jewslim: "aren't you Ted Theodore Logan Esquire?"
Keanu: "Indeed I am, be excellent"
I think he looks better before the photoshop.
i would pay someone one whole doller to rip that fucking thing off his head and take a pic.. ONE WHOLE DOLLER!!!
~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~
"Oh, mama
I wanna go surfing
Oh, mama
I don't care about nothing"
Wow, a half white and half black or Hispanic Brett michaels.
Please Mr. Francis Ford Coppola, make a Godfather part 4 with Talia Shire as the Godfather and Kay finally with the program.
The titty needed shopped, not sure they should have used the cherry.
I don't care if the picture/abs are real or not, he is a loser and fugly. He was fug back in the day and he still is.
Putsomestankonit summed it up perfectly.
Both pictures are gross, because its Brett Michaels.
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"My gynecologist committed suicide." ~ Liz Lemmon on her summer break.