Peen Post: The Brett Favre Edition
Yes, I know you'd rather see the fuck parts of Bret Michaels, or Brett Ratner or even Brett Butler, but genitals are genitals! We have to take what we can get and we have to like it! Bare dick doesn't land on this page every day (or does it?), so we have to cherish it when it does.
Over at Deadspin, they have an interesting video that tells the story of how sometimes retired NFL quarterback Brett Favre tried to get into the chonies of Jenn Sterge, the "Gameday Host" for the New York Jets. When very married Brett was with the Jets he noticed Jenn one day and just allegedly had to get a piece of her. According to Deadspin, Brett started to woo Jenn on MySpace and eventually started to leave voicemails on her phone. After Jenn turned down Brett's offer to tackle her nekkid, he stepped it up by pulling his dick out. All the great romances of our time were ignited by peen pics, so you can't blame Brett for trying.
After the jump is a couple NSFW pictures of what Brett is working with. Deadspin has more pictures and the voicemails. Brett's face isn't in any of the pictures, so this really could be anybody's peen. Because of this, I will refrain from making any "his dick must've retired too" jokes. JUMP!
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Is the tip on sideways?
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Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you you gonna bite?
I don't know what you guys are even talking about. In that second pic, it looks like it's quite a good size. You are living in dream worlds if you don't think there are millions of peens out there a lot smaller than this.
Ohhhh...that was dissapointing.
Submitted by MinaLoy on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 7:37am.
Why the hell doesn't he manscape? What girl is going to want to go down on him in that deplorable condition?
Well he is a gazillionaire. That fact probably leads some to overlook his failure to trim his pubes.
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"I'm like a tree, I feed the branches of the people." - Kanye West
What a POS and a few months back there was a big story on what a great guy he was because his wife was sick and he's such a wonderful hubby. Yeah right. If I were his wife, I would hold a press conference and tell everyone that I forgive him for the peen pictures, it's the bedwetting and catching him having sex with the family dog that I can't.
"Okay, are women now turned on by cell phone photos of hairy peens and balls?"
@conditheingro
Hairy balls and a spongy pubic mound at the base are decidedly unattractive. A lot of people on the board were making the case that guys should be as well groomed 'down there' as women. I certainly don't want to go down on a hairy sascrotch (A smooth cock and balls are another story altogether, however.). No wonder some women think blowies are gross if that's the circumstances in which they're expected to give one.
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Give us today our daily head.
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and deli
Umm... have any of you ever seen Brett's hands in reference to a football? They're massive. I wouldn't say he's big, but definitely above average.
Okay, are women now turned on by cell phone photos of hairy peens and balls? Things are really changing in the world today. I dunno; it seems to me that het women are more turned on by the whole package (face, body, then maybe peen) than by the electronic equivalent of a public toilet glory hole. Maybe not. All I know is that I'm now officially a geezer, and Brett Favre is an exhibitionist pig. Yuck.
He's definitely not fully erect but even with that allowance being made, I'm not impressed and yes, I have seen real live, in person penises. Most of the ones I have interacted with were nicely sized and had a nice head to shaft ratio. This one has a pin-head. If he knows how to use it, it may not be a show stopper but I bet he doesn't. To me, it usually seems obvious by a few external factors, what size hog a dude is packing. Many small dicked men have certain personality features that seem common...at least in my experience and then there are the hands. It usually is true that you can measure from the tip of the pointer finger, down to where the tip of the finger can reach, at the base of the thumb on his palm and that measurement is equal or super close to the fully erect member. IMO, nothing is better than a somewhat bigger than average, wide width, ever so slightly curved, equally proportioned woody. Sorry, usually I am not so graphic but I'm a bit dickmatized these days and there is one in my mind that stands out from the rest. Pun intended.
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"And people try to tell me that God wasn't high on the good shit when he made this place" -by angel_i
Some things need to be left to the imagination.
@MinaLoy
WORD!
Women, if not expected to be completely smooth (my BF thinks that resembles a 'child', and it creeps him out, but to each their own, and I personally don't have a problem with totally shaved snatch) are, at the VERY LEAST, expected to be well groomed.
The same should go for men. Don't let them have yet another double-standard!
Men: SHAVE YO SHIT!
How do you expect a woman to 'deep throat' if she's met with a patch of hair at the base?
Other than the average/slightly below average size (assuming he's fully hard, that is), I'm more concerned with something no one else seems to have noticed...
WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE HIS PENIS IS ATTACHED TO HIS BODY SIDEWAYS???
I manscape, therefore, I am!
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Why the hell doesn't he manscape? What girl is going to want to go down on him in that deplorable condition? I'd be afraid I'd choke to death on that tragic-looking shag rug. Good Lord, women have been expected to be smooth down there for years, why do men still think that in the year 2010 they have a pass on allowing their pube situation to resemble that of a 'sascrotch'?
I'm so glad my boyfriend shaves his balls and trims around the base. It's really not that hard, and it's not like the guy is going to chop off anything. How many women do you know who, after shaving their lady business in the shower, have ever chopped off their clits? Yes, I don't know of any either. Bottom line, some guys are just lazy and won't clue in to the fact that jungle bush is just so not sexy. Plus, not trimming your pubes makes the dick look smaller (unless you have a pencil dick, in which case you're fucked anyway).
Guys: If you want a girl to go down on you and actually enjoy it, PLEASE shave/wax your nether regions!!!
His dick is a bit on the small side but it is a very average looking peen, the size most men probabably are, a "lucky 6" as they call it..
If any of you want to see weenies in all their glory just go look on the Men Seeking Women or the Men Seeking Men ads on Craigslist. Those men are more than willing to show you pics of what they've got on there..
That is one strange dick head.
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She was also a 'raging nymphomaniac.'"
Now that's what I call ball fumble.
Maybe something is wrong with me ,because peen pics have never done it for me. I lubs da peen,just don't need to paint me a picture...literally.
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'' The Master would not approve! ''
@Mickeyholland:
I'm flattered that my avi caught your interest enough to look her up. She's my favorite vocalist to date. She was originally the vocalist in my favorite band, Opera IX, a black metal band from Italy.
I still really like the newer Opera IX but they will never be the same without Cada on vocals. I know I'm in the minority on this site who really appreciates extreme metal, but it requires a considerable amount of talent to master those harsh, growling vocals.
OK, I'm done rambling! LOL
Also, no worries about the misspelling. I knew what you meant. :)
♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣
Nothing quite matches self righteousness for the sake of not being self righteous.
*Khensu* (Sorry, I keep forgetting the h)
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Who are you calling silly cow?
@Kensu
Thanks to your avi I brushed up my knowledge of extreme metal music. Hm, being a HSP I'm overly sensitive to sounds, light etc., so I have to let this one sink in. Interesting, though.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 12:27am.
I agree.
I like male nudity, but the whole package. I want to see who it's attached to.
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Nothing quite matches self righteousness for the sake of not being self righteous.
Why would men think that they can seduce women with pecker pics? If anything, these images would motivate me to embrace my inner lesbian. No offence, but without body context the male genitals are not much to look at (nor are the female ones, for that matter).
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Wait...now I'm not so sure his balls are under the sheet after comparing the two pics.
If they are NOT, they must be up his asshole. You should at least be able to see them a little.
Maybe he's been neutered.
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"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Plato
His penis looks average and fine to me. What straight guy have you seen preen the pubes? Let alone just guys in general who aren't femmy queens, roid ragers, and tanning gym rats.
Shit, i'd still hit. He's still got a few more years left in him.
It looks like he's trying to tear his own penis off in the first picture.
I don't like football, so I don't feel either way about this guy. Most professional athletes seem like dicks anyway.
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Nothing quite matches self righteousness for the sake of not being self righteous.
Why does EVERYTHING make me embarassed to admit that I'm from Minnesota? Come on!!
Ooops, I didn't realize that his balls are UNDER the sheet.
I figured it out, so now I'm not so confused anymore, dear.
Please try and be respectful on this board.
It's just a matter of being polite and having a little class.
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"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Plato
I'm sorry, but unless the guy's hands are the size of a coffee table, he has a really small dick.
Next.
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"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Plato
Based on the feedback I've read, I'm beginning to think most of you have not seen a penis outside of porn... not all males have horse penises, this one is pretty average even though he doesn't look fully erect... and to the confused dear who said 'where are his balls?' come on it's a birds eye view, balls 'tend' to be below the penis... not to mention his pubes are like a wild forest.
Has he no balls?
For realz.
Maybe I'm looking at the pic wrong.
It actually looks like a dick pic of a guy being prepped for a vasectomy.
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"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Plato
He shouldn't have sent that first semi-flaccid picture. So unflattering.
The second one...eh...it's not bad. But that overgrown bush is totally not doing it for me. I love body hair, but come on. Grooming never hurt anyone.
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you seem spritely.
watch me rant: http://www.youtube.com/user/gineriella
In my experience (and yes it is a stereotype) the bigger guys have tended to 'work' less at a relationship, be it purely sexual or a romantic one. I've had a couple huge dudes who had nothing going on but I'm sure there are some that are 9+ inches with master's degrees and great personalities...basically it boils down to personality and that certain unspoken attraction. Brett Favre seems like a douche with an average cock. And there are plenty of average douches with average cocks, just like there are chicks out there who shouldn't be bragging about their lady bits. I tend to like the quiet, shy, sweet ones no matter what the size as there are always toys that can enhance any experience but NOTHING to make up for lack of personality...self righteous rant over.
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and I was helping children in Morocco, it wasn't like a vacation...
The poon prevented Brett from thinking clearly. He should have worked in some product placement with open Wrangler jeans.
The penis seems herpes free, and there are no funny coloured fluids seeping from the tip, so he's probably doing better than most NFL players.
Anyways, I'm already sick of football, so I'll mention that the Leafs have a perfect season going... Go Leafs.
Edit
I know my way around Southern peen, and have only seen one uncut. And it was on someone a good bit older than me and my ass is old.
Submitted by Green Tea Latte on Thu, 10/07/2010 - 5:48pm.
^^^^^
Looooove your avie! One of the hottest men in hockey. Watching the Hawks right now.
>>>>>>>
"They rapin errbody ou' here!"- mah boy Antoine D
Maybe his wife could verify if it's really his...
>>>>>>>
"They rapin errbody ou' here!"- mah boy Antoine D
I wouldn't kick him outta the sheets. Looks of average size to me. I know a biiiiig guy (bigger than Brett) who has a smallish one and a ED problem, but fuckit-- he know what to do and more than makes up for it in other ways. So the size doesn't really matter to me.
>>>>>>>
"They rapin errbody ou' here!"- mah boy Antoine D
to defend the guy, it's not completely hard or I hope it's not, also being a big bulky guy means that no matter how big it is, it will always look small or average in comparison to your body build and huge hands, also a dick can be huge but it might photograph poorly,one wrong pose and it looks small on film,
Random thoughts:
1. Manscaping: Brett, you gotta mow the infield if you want us to find the balls. Remember,less bush = bigger-looking cock.
2. What's the "Southern peen is usually uncut" nonsense? I'm a Southern belle/closet whore from way back with so many notches on my bedposts my bed fell the fuck down and I STILL have never seen a headless horseman. I guess we don't troll our bait in the same places ;)
3. Big hands could make an average peen appear small.
4. Maybe his wife did a good job of faking & convinced him he was working with an epic schlong so now he wants outside confirmation?
It looks perfectly usable to me.
Well Viking fans know what they've got coming.
Bend over Minnesota!
chefcammi that link was great! Thanx.
Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Thu, 10/07/2010 - 6:30pm.
Hahahahaha!
I just surprise-dicked Mr. Uvy with these pics. He hit me in the face with the pile of mail he was holding and walked away muttering something that sounded like it rhymed with "witch" but it was sooooooooooooo worth it.
LOL! I clicked on one of the recent posts in the sidebar before I saw this post and boom, that second peen pic was the first thing to come up. I thought I got redirected to ratemyschlong.com for a second.
Jenn Sterger? Had not heard that story. She frustrates me because she became famous for wearing a low cut shirt at an FSU game. Got a career out of it, and then took her implants out because she thought she wasn't being taking seriously.
Not a small shrimp here, his body size, weight and what we can see in these pictures doesn't lie..... of course if you get nothing out of less than 7" and beer can thick, then this guy or average is not for you ~~ flap away.
Hahahahaha!
I just surprise-dicked Mr. Uvy with these pics. He hit me in the face with the pile of mail he was holding and walked away muttering something that sounded like it rhymed with "witch" but it was sooooooooooooo worth it.
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Although there's pain in my chest, I still wish you the best with a "fuck you". - Cee-lo Green
OMG!! this totally reminds me of one of my fav online guilty pleasures (dlisted is #1 for the record). The site is totally NSFW but please click- i PROMISE youll laugh your ass off at these douchebags!!!
http://seekingdesperately.blogspot.com/?zx=c70b59a922097d77
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I wanna go surfing
Oh, mama
I don't care about nothing"