Baby Chupa Is On Its Way (Maybe)!
Rachel "Chupcabra" Zoe's womb might be as small as a hallowed out raisin, but someway somehow a fetus has managed to squeeze itself in there. Hey, I've lived in apartments so small that I was able to take a dump while making my twin bed at the same time, so I have no sympathy for chupa fetus. Suck it up, chupa fetus! But not lit-er-ally, because that could make her raisin womb even smaller.
So...all last season on The Rachel Zoe Project, Chupa's husband Roger kept begging her for a baby. And not the kind of baby she brings home in the middle of the night to feed from on the bathroom floor. NO! A baby of their very own. Well, flip that hair, Roger, because a source tells OK! Magazine that Chupa is now eating for one!
This source says that 39-year-old (yeah, I know you want to see the receipts) Chupa is whispering to her closest friends that she's 3-months knocked up. The source went on to say, “But now that she’s pregnant, she’s telling people that this is something that she and Roger have wanted for many years and she’s finally at a level of success where she can afford to take some time off. She’s going to be going on maternity leave from full time styling immediately after this year’s Academy Awards, and doesn’t expect to work again until early fall at the earliest. She and Rodger are especially happy and Rachel, who can normally be quite emotionless, even teared up a few times as she started letting people in on the news.”
Don't tear up, Chupa! That's less nourishment for the chupa baby! Yeah, I don't really know how this happened either since I doubt Chupa even lets Roger cum in her out of fear that she'll gain more calories. Hell, she probably doesn't even let him bust some man chowder on her skin, because the cum calories could get into her system through her pores! This will be interesting.
And their baby is totally going to look like this:
Lock up your newborn babies in a Chinese Laundry or Payless shoe box, because there's going to be a new chupa waiting to snatch them by the neck! Yeah, Chupa won't get near anything related to Chinese Laundry.
• 
This has to be the Z-list version of Revolta/Preston, because if this woman is 39 then I used to be a Rockette. Even after plastic surgery she still looks older than Blohan at 3 a.m.
Who are her closest friends, Brad and Demi Moore?
Why arent her and ghey Roger "over the moon"?
edit: Oh I forgot her bff Kate Hudson...
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►I'm a free bitch, baby◄
"Give me a red velvet with a heaping sprinkling of FUCK on top!" MK
Makes me nervous that this story got out. I hope everything goes well. I think this will be great for her. She will have to eat and slow down a bit.
This bitch is 39 like Jack Benny was 39. The skin on Zoe's face, especially the cheeks) looks like the skin of a woman in her 60's or 70's.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
mm hm.
Yea.
Sure.
Nothing can go wrong with all this.
She is so disgustingly vile & tore up from the floor up with her chicken head fugness & HSN/QVC clothing line that is paying for this unnatural demon seed.
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I hate you but I'm not in hate with you.
ESE, I forgot- she is an equal opportunity sadist.
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He's been pretty much yellow, and I've been kind of blue
But all I can see is red, red red red red now
What am I gonna do?
-Fiona Apple
Poor little Montana Chubacca, I have the sads for her starving ass.
*chanting as always*
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Fri, 10/01/2010 - 9:55am.
what a lucky baby. if it is a girl, she can look forward to life of starvation.
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give her some credit, will ya!
even if it's a boy it's gonna starve for approval
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
rodger looks a lot like the young gary coleman in this pic!
this family is all kinds of delusional - zoe can't get/stay pregnant, she doesn't actually want a baby, and her husband is GAY!
what you talking about, willis?
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milk and cheese - dairy products gone BAD.
what a lucky baby. if it is a girl, she can look forward to life of starvation.
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He's been pretty much yellow, and I've been kind of blue
But all I can see is red, red red red red now
What am I gonna do?
-Fiona Apple
By the way, if this is true, I hope CPS steps in and force feeds her throughout her pregnancy. Oh, and takes away her drugs and the usage of "LIT'RALLY".
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"The show will be a mix of serious news stories and pop culture shit. It will also feature a daily cameo by a crazed and foaming at the mouth gay who will storm the set in a bridal tuxedo" MK
Submitted by Nanners on Fri, 10/01/2010 - 8:49am.
Hey, if Nicole Richie can concieve anything is possible.
I suppose you're right...although Nicole was at least 15 years younger than Chupa at the time she conceived her first baby...
I surely hope she's prepared herself mentally and emotionally for the fact that when she's pregnant, she will need to gain AT LEAST 50 pounds in order for the child not to die in utero...when you've lived your whole life pursuing size 00 perfection by any means necessary, pregnancy bloat is a huge shock to the psyche.
Not worried about after because she can have the surgeon give her a tummy tuck/C-section special like they gave JLo...and maybe breastfeeding will work and make her slim again.
Is this why Brad really left? He couldn't stand to be replaced, then sit by and watch Chupa malnourish a baby? IVF indeed! I know why she married a ghey, I just don't know why she insists to pretend that he isn't.
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"The show will be a mix of serious news stories and pop culture shit. It will also feature a daily cameo by a crazed and foaming at the mouth gay who will storm the set in a bridal tuxedo" MK
Becasue I know RZ reads this blog... EAT something bitch... for the baby's sake.
damn that is one funny pic...it has Chupa's eyes...how sweet!!
Submitted by christine the hoff on Fri, 10/01/2010 - 9:33am.
Jesus Christ on sale
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hahaha!... i've never heard that term
it gives me a picture of the "Buddy Christ" from "Dogma" being sold at a yard sale
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA JACKO MADE ME SPIT MY HONEY BUNCHES OF OATS!!!!!
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►I'm a free bitch, baby◄
"Give me a red velvet with a heaping sprinkling of FUCK on top!" MK
Submitted by suze on Fri, 10/01/2010 - 8:59am.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 10/01/2010 - 8:56am.
I don't really know who this trick is but it is Friday and he looks a little ghey.
As in *you look ghey Fridhey*
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hahahahahaha i just read what I typed and yes that is excatly RIGHT!!
"It's Friday, you ain't got no job, you ain't got shit to do.... plus you look ghey."
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"Your appalling choice in women is well-known to us dlisters." Momus
How the hell did she get pregnant? I didn't think she could get her period because she was so skinny, and after watching an episode of her show, he really, really seems like he's for the other team.
Jesus Christ on sale, she can't eat for one, now she's going to eat for two? poor little fucker's gonna starve.
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Never wear anything that panics the cat.
P. J. O'Rourke
Jacko~ he's totally ghey
LMFAO AT THE BABY MK!!!!!!
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►I'm a free bitch, baby◄
"Give me a red velvet with a heaping sprinkling of FUCK on top!" MK
If she is, the deal was done in the lab. No way she even ovulates with her anorexia, especially at her age (???39???).
If she is, the deal was done in the lab. No way she even ovulates with her anorexia, especially at her age (???39???).
Holy shit...I never thought she had in it her to be a mom. Never thought she had an actual uterus in her either. Figured that thing had dried up and left the scene long long ago.
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Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil.
Maybe she wouldnt be as annoying or gross to look at if she had some weight on herself and wasn't hungry all the time.
I know I get so fucking moody when I am hungry and can't satify such a primary need.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
she's not me
I have nothing to say about this tanorexic hippie scrimp ano goddess other than the shriveled fucking prune of a uterus she has most certainly has not worked in years, and this heffalump dump skud ho would rather fucking kill a baby than ever allow one to make her fat. EVER. To suggest otherwise is heresy.
First of all, this bitch is not even 40?!?! Oy.
Secondly, she better start learning how to chew and swallow food, because her currently anti-calorie stance is not healthy for a growing weetle bay-bay.
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"Hooooooty who give an eff about Haiti?! I don't! BAM!" - MK as Taylor Momsen
we may just witness the first recorded case of a newborn baby weighing more than its mother.
jt
well it does fit in with the whole Brad-quitting thing, but that 'ho getting preggers so quickly?? naw - no way. it had to be IVF - especially at her age! and don't tell me she's 39, 'cos if she really is, she looks like shit.
I sure hope it comes out looking like the Sr. Bieber and not the original RZ face, 'cos that's probably very scary!
Had to be IVF. There's no way any man would bang that bag of bones. Unless his Bieber hair is the father.
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Although there's pain in my chest, I still wish you the best with a "fuck you". - Cee-lo Green
her gay hubby must be "over the sling."
hmmm she is 39yo now?
just last year she was claiming to be 32yo...bitch lies about her age and can't even get her lies straight...but regardless of her REAL age, she probably is going the surrogate way a la Pony Parker...I don't picture these two fucking...and if so, the delivery will be like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWjvdMW-ZJI&p=35F637FEAD3ACE52&playnext=1...
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"The best way to keep your figure is to give your food to the hungry" - Audrey Hepburn
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·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><((((º> .·´¯`·..·><((((º>
I don't think she even weighs enough to have a period, let alone harbor an embryo in there.
Submitted by suze on Fri, 10/01/2010 - 8:58am.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Fri, 10/01/2010 - 8:39am.
Sooooo, Rodger went hetero long enough to give her a beef injection?
Nope. I'm gusessing IVF
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Ahhhhh, good call!
Have some frosting,
Trust me, there is no way she will carry to term. She is already high risk with the factors of age, low body fat, history of using meds/drugs, bulimia and starvation has wrecked her skeleton. She will be given bed rest within a few weeks and she won't be able to handle that at all. She has to stop working asap and quit stressing herself with petty arguements and attachments. I feel sorry for the itsybitsy but there is no way she will stop being her egotistical self to consider this child.
Brad's taking her place in the stylist arena, so Chupa might as well go on her "maternity leave," plan her QVC debut and fade away.
Had to be IVF. She's way too thin and too old* to conceive normally.
*39 my ass, she's probably been 39 her last 6 birthdays
39? Dooooooowns Syndrome!
>.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.<
I'm a creep. I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here!
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 10/01/2010 - 8:56am.
I don't really know who this trick is but it is Friday and he looks a little ghey.
As in *you look ghey Fridhey*
Tex Perkins.
Google him you dumb fuck!
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 10/01/2010 - 8:56am.
I don't really know who this trick is but it is Friday and he looks a little ghey.
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i'm sure he will look a little ghey the rest of the week too. it might have something to do with the haircut... yep, gotta be the haircut
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Fri, 10/01/2010 - 8:39am.
Sooooo, Rodger went hetero long enough to give her a beef injection?
Nope. I'm gusessing IVF
Tex Perkins.
Google him you dumb fuck!
I don't really know who this trick is but it is Friday and he looks a little ghey.
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"Your appalling choice in women is well-known to us dlisters." Momus
eating for one, vomiting for two
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
And their baby is totally going to look like this:
Maybe it's just because it's friday but the picture is making me laugh my ass off. Too Much!
Must be the grade 8er in me.
Hey, if Nicole Richie can concieve anything is possible.
The bulimia lines around Chupa's mouth are too distracting.
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MK, I love you like a fat kid loves cake - MissJaneTexas
Yep, how can she be pregnant without body fat? My sister couldn't conceive because she basically starves herself. LMAO @ the baby pic! Perfect!
don't exactly know what this woman does. don't care that she's knocked up(feel sorry for the kid).... she looks teminally ill
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
I hope she gains 50 lbs...She would actually look normal...
Yeah right. You need to have some body fat to be able to concieve
Whatevs...
A trick with a body this deficient can't deliver anything larger than a kidney stone, let alone a healthy baby!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
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Let's hope she gets over her eating disorder so the baby won't be anorexic out of the womb.