Michael Lohan Says Lindsay Lohan Is Doomed
Betty Ford is currently the place where Lindsay Lohan is trying to kill her nostril's hunger for the bad shit dust and her throat's craving for orange Creamsicle pills, but her ex-father tells UsWeekly that she's wasting her time and money. The sundried turtle says that LiLo might as well have checked into Hedonism for treatment, because Betty Ford is nothing more an overpriced spa. Apparently, Michael should know since his stupid ass spent some time there.
Michael spat this mess out, "Look at the 'short' list of people who went to Betty Ford -- most, if not all, have relapsed. I went there myself, and I will tell you, Betty Ford is a country club. They administer prescription meds and even put their patients on prescription meds. Once more, they don't have family therapy at all. The root of her problems is her family. his will not work -- mark my words! If Betty Ford gives her any prescription drugs, they become another enabler. Back to square one!"
"Skidmark my words" is more like it. Okay, 99% of what comes out of Michael Lohan's mouth belongs at the bottom of an out of service Port-A-Potty off the Garden State Parkway, but he's actually making sense here. Round up all the Lohans from Nana to 45-year-old Ali and throw them all into a room. Instead of giving all of us aches in our heads, eyes and ears, they can slowly destroy each other.
SPOILER ALERT: The only bitch that would come out of that room alive is Nana Lohan. She'll have a piece of White Oprah's ratty weave in one hand and Michael Lohan's soul-killing cell phone case in the other.
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19 years and 4 months ago I went to Betty Ford Center and I have been clean and sober ever since... It beat getting sober in a prison, but I wouldn't call my time there a country club experience. All I know, is that I was sick and tired of being sick and tired and I committed to recovery one day at a time and became willing there. The staff and program was excellent and I am forever grateful for the foundation I received there.
xoxox
The war isn't working.
Betty Ford does have an excellent Family program..renowned... and many people stay sober who have been through there..go to the reunions... people with decades of sobriety show up... he is a failure as his spawn.
xoxox
The war isn't working.
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He's right,the root of her problem is her family, as in him and White Oprah. Gros trou du cul.
************
Trick Pony
"She is fat and I am cross- eyed with bad skin. We all have flaws. Hers is the fatness."
Dear Asshole,
Please killself.
Sincerely,
Humanity.
*******************************************************************
"Leavin', on a southern train
Only yesterday, you lied
Promises of what I seemed to be
Only watch the time go by
All of these things you said to me"
"The root of her problems is her family."
First thing he said that i actually agree with.
If you scroll the picture 3/4 down, it looks like he's having a wank while on the phone.
I know. I'm 12.
Tex Perkins.
Google him you dumb fuck!
I am a graduate of the family program at BFC. It is no joke and it encourages change for the whole family, not just the addict. Ali should go along with those brothers that we never hear about. If you can't save your family, at least save yourself.
Let's see how long she manages to stay this time
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►I'm a free bitch, baby◄
"Give me a red velvet with a heaping sprinkling of FUCK on top!" MK
Why don't they ever interview Dlisted sluts? We could've told them this bitch was doomed long ago.. BTW what is the deathclock at currently?____________________________________________
This is why we can't have nice things!
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-Hat 04/27/2010
All this talk might actually have some credibility to Lindsay if Daddy Lohan wasn't such a.. non-father.
Dude was an addict himself either being abusive to Dina and the kids or being an absentee dad in jail.
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
Delusion is obviously hereditary and who the hell wants to listen to this asstwat anymore? Go away you old fucking man.
He'd make the perfect running mate for The Naked Cowboy...
Well, if Michael Lohan says it...
♥ Threadkilla!
9/11 is like Christmas for gay people!:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1926079
A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices.~ William James
ugh - this family :\
*****
http://www.myspace.com/luscious_t_999
Well, it's worse than war, it's worse than death
There ain't too many left who ain't been
Eaten by the monster of love
(Don't let it get me!)
# 1: Add 'er all doesn't look like that - at all - at least not under 20 mg.
# 2: Betty Ford does have family therapy - at least, they have a session where you basically go in and tell your Betty Fordicized family member how they just treated you for the last X years of your lives together. Trust me - an awesome experience for all concerned. You even get to watch other people tell their "loved" ones how they treated them too.
# 3: The cell phone on the belt...I feel rage rising inside me...
The sundried turtle
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Oh, fuck me. I love you more than can be easily expressed in the English language, Michael.
Submitted by precociousmagpie on Thu, 09/30/2010 - 9:37pm.
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FUCK!!! God damn it, I ALWAYS miss that fucking show because of somebody else's screwups.
*kicks husband*
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hehehee.
this is a good one - very dramatic just in the first few minutes.
kick him once for me :D
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milk and cheese - dairy products gone BAD.
Submitted by NovaNightly on Thu, 09/30/2010 - 5:19pm.
He says the root of her problems is her family and he's trying to become a conservator for her?? DUDE...you and WO are the problems!! You made her the way she is...you enabled her and coddled her and gave her everything she wanted. You never said no...you allowed her to go out and get herself into trouble at a very young age. YOU FUCKED UP. She is fucked up...you're all fucked up.
*****
Not only that, but I'm guessing there's a significant trauma history there, w/ her father in and out of prison and reportedly abusive towards her mom (and maybe the children). I'm also guessing mama Lohan leaned on her daughter big time, both emotionally and financially, in her husband's absence. It's no wonder that Lindsay seems to feel she can't do without her manipulative mom and I'm sure WO feels similarly dependent on her for support/validation.
IMO, her parents were much more than overly permissive. I don't think we even know the half of what probably went on in that house, not to mention the pressure a young person might feel when her family's financial and emotional well being rests on her shoulders. Major drug addiction and mental health problems don't often just come out of nowhere. Lindsay was long in the making.
As much as I think Lilo is one dumb bitch..I can't help but feel bad for her in a way. I grew up with a really abusive father..and now that I am away at Uni for the first time, I am really happy because in my own way..I have let go of all the hate and anger. I feel better, she should do the same though it will be difficult.. He'll only continue to have power over her that's why she needs to let go. I think she needs to take responsibility for her actions and realize that in the end, she's only hurting herself. I will say that her father is one stupid fucking douche! And I fucking hate his cell phone pouch. grrrrr
oh please! the only thing Michael Lohan was ever addicted to was sucking his own dick. I give you exhibit A
http://dlisted.com/node/35530
This man is f-ing insane. I'd be a drunk and in a drug-induced haze constantly if that man was my father.
He's knows he's lying Betty Ford Center has one of the most respected family therapy programs in the country. He's a liar, and most people who are alcoholics are so because they self medicate in order to deal with other problems, some psychiatric. The Betty Ford Center is joined to a prominent hospital and all patients are screened for mental problems. HELLO! None of his family would participate with him when he was in treatment, it's not that they don't offer it, they didn't want to be around him in any way.
Mike is pissed because he either drove out there to force his daughter to talk to him or called and was told she wanted a no contact order in place. She hates her father who's pretty much only income is from selling her out to tabloids. This guy fits the profile of a family Annihilator, he feels he owns them, and if he can't control them they need to meet Jesus. Seriously this guy is dangerous to his whole family. I think that's why Dina over compensates so much, she's terrified of Mike, he is a pathological liar too. His only only interest is in one kid who made a fortune, Lindsay. The others are just expenses to him. It's very dysfunctional.
Why hasn't lightning struck this asshole dead yet? Seriously, one minute blaming everyone but Lindsey for her troubles, and now dissing Betty Ford Center and asking for family therapy. Seriously?!? It's like asking a prostitute to sit down and have group therapy with her pimp and drug dealer.
This shit stain wishes Betty Ford was a "country club." More like they told him and wanted him to do things he's way too much of an egomaniac & addict himself to man up and do. AND he's pissed that if Lindsay is given a breather from her parasitic parents, she will cut them off the money train or he'll be irrelevant and no more pap money for talking shit about his daughter.
Optimism is a political act. Those who benefit from the status quo are perfectly happy for us to think nothing is going to get any better. In fact,these days cynicism is obedience. - Alex Steff
Blohan needs to be kept away from her family and family therapy is the last thing she needs...
He really is a fucking asshole and as for WO-words fail me.
Ive also got news for asshole here-alot of rehabs are like freaking spas nowadays and none of them have a better track record than the other because they do not in and of themselves work-all any rehab can do is separate an alcoholic or addict from drugs and alcohol long enough to where maybe they can hear a message of recovery- if Blohan relapses, it wont be because of freakin Betty Ford its because she has a disease and the first step to recovery is surrendering to that fact...
Good Lucky Lohan-now try staying in rehab because we all need a break from you but most of all from your horrendous parents.
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
Submitted by mcnightmare on Thu, 09/30/2010 - 7:47pm.
not even these macaroni rascals can deter me from my obsession with "Project Runway" tonight!
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FUCK!!! God damn it, I ALWAYS miss that fucking show because of somebody else's screwups.
*kicks husband*
Sittin here watchin fuckin Howie Mandel or some shit, while PR is on. Yeah, yeah, I know they'll rerun it. It's not the same. I ask for so little. Shit on a brick…
This coming from the asshole that pimped her out to fuel his own drug habit. Stupid fuck.
Please MK! Don't end the night with these idiots!
It will gave me heartburn and gas!
xoxoxo
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Nothing says "real love" like matching mug shots. -Michael Kay
I'm surprised the tag isn't "Water is wet," because no shit, Lohan won't reach 30 if she doesn't straighten up.
Where's white oprah in all this? Whenever her arrogant smug daughter fucks up, she immediately starts her tirade of "everyone's out to get her, it's her father's fault" or "she's fine, someone made a mistake", etc. Yet, after this latest fuckup, white oprah is conspicuously absent. Where is she and why hasn't she stepped up on this?
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"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." - Brit's Tits
@Manimal,
I love that avie. Only she could porn up widdle Elmo. Sads.
=P
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"Menage a NO! NO! NO!" -MK 09.29.2010
This dumb broad even makes it into the urban dictionary. Neither her or her delusional mother see any of this shit as their fault.
Pull A Blowhan
To "Pull A Blowhan" means to be a lonely,codependent slutty woman who consistently sleeps around, whether or not she is in a relationship. A Blowhan will also usually end up going home from a bar with a complete stranger whose name she does not know to do blow and hump all night.
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Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm
damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!
In related news, the Oxygen Network will have a Paris Hilton docu-series:
http://www.deadline.com/2010/09/oxygen-greenlights-paris-hilton-docu-ser...
What Lindsay needs is to be in a room with her father and get everything out with him via a therapist. She needs to not be afraid of him anymore and with that she will be on her road to recovery.
________________
I Love You More
________________
No, rehab won't work and yes she will relapse-because Miss Lindsey doesn't believe she has a problem. This chick is LOST.
In my opinion...she needs prescription drugs. This will never be over unless she really is serious about sorting out her problems...maybe this last jail scare did something to shake her up a bit. Only time will tell and it's completely up to her.
Blaming her parents and everyone else for her problems hopefully will end and then maybe she can concentrate on doing what's right for her and perhaps leave most of her so called friends and family behind.
*wakes up from dream*... did I just say that?
Can't someone please put a gag in this cunt's mouf? PEEP PEEP PEEP
Sucky 12/14/09 Motherfucker, I lick pits for a living
LawDog 03/15/2010 Leenie, LOL. I think we can all agree that I am the most important person ever Salacious 7/15/10 Thank you Leenie! You made me smile like a 19th century whore who got overpaid
I don't know where he is coming from...hopefully a caring and authentic place. I mean, who knows.
I will say though that I do know a handful of people who have gotten off a meth addiction partly by being on prescription meds for 10 months or so. It has to be that way often, especially for people with a concurrent disorder. I don't know if that is what she has however.
not even these macaroni rascals can deter me from my obsession with "Project Runway" tonight!
(bates breath, waits)
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milk and cheese - dairy products gone BAD.
not even these macaroni rascals can deter me from my obsession with "Project Runway" tonight!
(bates breath, waits)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
milk and cheese - dairy products gone BAD.
The root of her problem is her LESBIANISM. She is gay!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELLO
Stoney - it was on last night at 10 pm. I missed the first 15 minutes because I didn't realize it was on, either. It was a mixup of several tabloid-ish stories, but there were two characters that were so clearly modeled after Lindsay and Dina, I wouldn't be surprised if she sues them next, like she did to the e-trade baby.
I don't CARE and never will care about the "plight" of Lindsay Lohan. She's the one who got herself in trouble so it's time to take responsibility and be held accountable for one's actions. ENOUGH!
"People are strange when you're a stranger...Faces look ugly when you're alone." ~ The Doors
Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Thu, 09/30/2010 - 7:07pm.
I missed that! Damn! What time does it come on so I can DVR the series?
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Submitted by LASux on Thu, 09/30/2010 - 6:41pm.
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Right!! Betty Ford is actually legit and they don't play! Methinks Daddy Dearest is just pissed that they won't let him contact her or arrange a photo-op with them planting flowers together like they did at that joke of a facility in Utah.
That said, b/c Betty Ford is actually legit and they don't play, I doubt that Hohan will survive there 24 hours.
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kitteh friends make anything look better. Well, maybe not ;)
http://www.buzzfeed.com/awesomer/the-13-worst-mel-gibson-rant-quotes-pre...
arrrgh whatever!
Coma Caca!
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I thought we all agreed to not give ButtFace any more coverage
Did anyone see the "Lindsay and Dina" Law & Order LA last night? I hate to admit it, but I almost got misty-eyed at the very end in the court.
"The root of her problems is her family."
Well he is right about that.