WHY????!????
I can forgive the poly-blend platinum disaster on Xtina's head that makes her look like she's about to check into the halfway house for Hugh Hefner's cast-off whores. I can also look past the fact that the color of her skin has even got Snooki saying, "Calm down on the naranja, bitch." And I don't even mind that her air kisses are probably made of castor oil and sponsored by MAC. But the one thing that I cannot ignore is THOSE EYEBROWS! Eyebrows ashy and sad for no reason!
Hook those brows up to an IV filled with Skin So Soft, and tell them it's going to be okay. Those are some orphan child brows. Xtina's brows are saying to me, "Please sir, I want some more." More moisture that is, because they are looking parched! It's like those thirsty brows have been crawling through the desert and licking on anything for moisture (examples: scorpion piss, camel sweat...)
How are you going to spend hours slathering your skin with orange shit until you look like the clit on an oven roasted chicken, but not spend any time with your brows? Those poor things are praying to the gods above that Xtina's tarantula lashes swallow them up whole. "Put us out of our misery" brows. How dreadful.
But luckily for Xtina, not many people at the LACMA event last night noticed her dire straits brows. Everybody made themselves a plate, covered it in foil and went home as soon as they saw this vision hit the red carpet:
When Joan Collins shows up, you immediately go home to cry yourself to sleep over the fact that you will never be as glamorous as she is. So as soon as Xtina's brows get out of ICU, she should send Joan a thank you letter.
Here's some others who weeped at their own homeliness after laying eyes on Joan: Nicole Richie, Kim Kardassian with her pimp, Jaclyn Smith and James Franco.
• 
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Mon, 09/27/2010 - 2:56am.
Anyone who's got to continuously reinvent themselves have no identity of their own.
♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣
Creepy, fat, lonely, and bitter since 2008.
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Submitted by humpalump on Mon, 09/27/2010 - 11:03am.
Remember five or six years ago when she was exaggerating her Latina bullshit and dyed her hair black? They looked identical back then.
I used to think Aguilera was all that in the looks department even though I always loathed her. Now it looks like karma's finally given her the mug she's always deserved.
She looks like a cross between that Hatchetface character, Paris Hilton, Snooki, Bill Maher, and a potato. Lay off the botox and take a fucking bath, you overrated and butthurt primadonna. I also love how she's always making "sexy" faces and working the same camera angles to draw attention from that she now looks like a glazy cross-eyed, cokehead, disco potato in a wig.
She's looking more and more like her equally detestable mother every fucking day.
Did I mention that her voice is annoying? Yes, just because you can screech like a wounded animal and chase the same note for six minutes makes you a relatively talented pop star. Key words: relatively, pop star. She makes it sound as though her career trajectory was so much more humble than everyone else's and that she actually possesses some kind of creative integrity. Get off the fucking cross, slag.
No wonder she hates those entertainers who are most like her. What's the matter? Too afraid to be faced with what you really are? The only difference is that the other pop culture martyrs aren't still angry and still have enough class not to publicly attack their competition when they've got an album to promote. Whiny bitch. This is one of the few times I will defend Lady GaGa; at least she gets publicity by acting like a conceited, slutty, pretentious circus act without still acting like a spoiled, bitter little cunt.
Lastly, her "platform" on feminism is a fucking joke at best because it's just petty shit that excludes everyone outside of the entertainment demographic. Yeah, you are womyn who feels so strongly about her cause that she compromises her art for attention by resorting to staged nymphomaniac public behavior and removing your clothes. I'm sure that's your idea of empowerment unless, say, someone like Beth Ditto or Amy Winehouse does it. When people ask why I think most third wave feminists are full of shit, this is why. It's exclusive. I agree with many feminist ideas, don't get me wrong, but all of the post-feminists I know are hypocritical to the Nth degree and only take advantage of said feminism for their own sake, to extoll the virtue of being a skank. This is what I imagine Christina Slaguilera as doing. Her publicists probably told her to pretend she gives a rat's ass about the well being and equality of women.
I digress.
I hope Kim Tardashian gets confused for an Afghan Hound, by Michael Vick.
♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣♣
Creepy, fat, lonely, and bitter since 2008.
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I love that as irrelevant is she is and always was, Nicole Richie came out looking the best out of Paris and Lindsay. If her ugly man's genes don't fug them up, her kids should turn out cute.
If Dolly Parton & Ana Nichole threw up on Loni Anderson @ the Jersey Shore, This fugly tranny would crawl out if her cootch....
She is fuckin disgusting!
Is she still making music these days? Why is she even there?
Jacklyn Smith looks great as does the Dynasty Queen, Kim looks pretty, and so does Nicole but that dress is horrible, she could of worn something much better than that. And Xtina (dont know what to say about her, but I still like her).
Submitted by Hotmami on Sun, 09/26/2010 - 8:30pm.
oh shit, that came out wrong and really backfired on me, you have a good strong point there.
Submitted by salacious on Sun, 09/26/2010 - 11:26pm.
Submitted by BitchHouse on Mon, 09/27/2010 - 10:03am.
lol, actually I'm bisexual and yes I would bang everything and anyone and yes I might suck the dick of a homeless person, that's not the point I'm just saying, from experience there's not a lot of dudes that I've woken up next to only to shit my pants from the morning view as it it with the ladies, with guys what you see is what you get, with girls you might go down with a beauty and wake up with a grenade(Jersey shore lingo)..I'm not saying girls are ugly in general it just annoys me to see them put all that to their face, I used to date this respectful classy girl, we would go out and she wouldn't even kiss outdoors not to mess her gross oily lipstick,looking at her mirror every 5' to make sure everything is in check,like get a room with yourself etc..I prefer weird,"ugly" or tomboy girls than high maintenance airbrushed ones any day of the week,
Nicole looks great, I ♥ her
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►I'm a free bitch, baby◄
"Give me a red velvet with a heaping sprinkling of FUCK on top!" MK
If Snooki were blonde...
kk = stop messing with your face
Submitted by Dgrin on Sun, 09/26/2010 - 7:29pm.
I gotta say, I'm starting to seriously believe that women picked the ugly stick in the battle of the sexes. cause most men don't have to do absolutely nothing to themselves and still look 100% hotter than any girl without make-up,sad but truth.it's just so hard to find a girl who is just as hot in her natural state while a hot man can skip shaving and not bath for days and still would be very bang-able under all the grease
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Submitted by salacious on Sun, 09/26/2010 - 11:26pm.
Dgrin, you don't seriously think that people like Brad Pitt, Chrissy Ronaldo, David Beckham, Zac Afroditon and others are naturally good looking?
Men working in the entertainment business are just as self-obsessed as any woman in the same field. They use concealer and foundation for red carpet events, pluck their eyebrows, get facials every other day and go to bed with clay masks on, as well as having expensive hair products, the same way a woman does. Brad Pitt had acne scars that you can barely see anymore because of the Restylane and chemical peels that he gets.
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Dgrin must be a youngish gay dude, they will bang anything. Come to think of it, maybe Dgrin is not even that young. My gay friends are much long in the tooth and would suck the dick of the homeless guy on the curb if the guy agrees to a flea bath and a scrub-off. I wonder if the Kardashians gang-banged that homeless guy they found on Melrose that time.
Love Nicole's dress...amazing!
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...the end
looks like somebody's been eating their feelings and drowning their sorrow in the cookie dough cuz of their lousy album sales.
While Paris is off making an (and taking it up the)ass of herself, Nicole really seems to have stopped her craziness, gotten her shit together and look all the better for it. Good on ya Nic.
Submitted by Tatiana on Mon, 09/27/2010 - 3:45am.
Christina just looks so damn greasy, like if you accidentally bumped into her you'd come away with goo all over your skin and clothes.
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:P Can you imagine her dry cleaning bill?
Christina just looks so damn greasy, like if you accidentally bumped into her you'd come away with goo all over your skin and clothes.
Who keeps inviting Kim and her big ol' fat ass to ANYTHING?
Kim Kardassian and her mother would show up to an opening of a new Kinko's.
Since when has Xtina ever been original?
She's been chasing every fad and trend she could since she came onto the scene.
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
Submitted by nightowl on Mon, 09/27/2010 - 1:02am.
I don't think BIONIC was that bad. There are some excellent ballads on it and there are other noon-ballads there that are pretty cool. It IS her worst work though, and I hope her next album is better, and that she does her own thing.
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I felt with Bionic, while it's a fairly decent album, she was trying to recapture the success with "Stripped", which to me, was her best album to date.
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If you shoved a vuvuzela into a dog's ass and asked him to fart into a fan, the sound he produces would be more pleasant to the ears than this shit! - Michael K
Submitted by nightowl on Mon, 09/27/2010 - 1:07am.
Lady Gaga wore THIS to her grandfather's funeral:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1315253/Lady-Gagas-grief-gr...
It would be better if her top weren't see-thru.
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It's definitely an improvement but she could've used normal heels and the necklace wasn't exactly a sign of mourning.
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
So Christina's idea of glamorous is to look like Tranny Hilton and Anna Nicole Smith combined? Lay off the fucking fake tan, it's so 2002.
Lady Gaga wore THIS to her grandfather's funeral:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1315253/Lady-Gagas-grief-gr...
It would be better if her top weren't see-thru.
I don't think BIONIC was that bad. There are some excellent ballads on it and there are other noon-ballads there that are pretty cool. It IS her worst work though, and I hope her next album is better, and that she does her own thing.
I went to Disneyland 3 separate times on dates!!!!! and saw a different Charlies Angels chick every time... Jaclyn was the prettiest and she was with Dennis Cole at the time. All these women look good.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SX2KzqM3qU
.
Good god, what happened to Jaclyn??
.
Submitted by Dgrin on Sun, 09/26/2010 - 7:29pm.
I gotta say, I'm starting to seriously believe that women picked the ugly stick in the battle of the sexes. cause most men don't have to do absolutely nothing to themselves and still look 100% hotter than any girl without make-up,sad but truth.it's just so hard to find a girl who is just as hot in her natural state while a hot man can skip shaving and not bath for days and still would be very bang-able under all the grease
----
Dgrin, you don't seriously think that people like Brad Pitt, Chrissy Ronaldo, David Beckham, Zac Afroditon and others are naturally good looking?
Men working in the entertainment business are just as self-obsessed as any woman in the same field. They use concealer and foundation for red carpet events, pluck their eyebrows, get facials every other day and go to bed with clay masks on, as well as having expensive hair products, the same way a woman does. Brad Pitt had acne scars that you can barely see anymore because of the Restylane and chemical peels that he gets.
Case in point, and do you remember these pics of Zac Afroditon and John Mayerbag?
http://www.popcrunch.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/610x3.jpg
http://blogs.endonline.com/files/2010/02/john-mayer.jpg
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
Kim K does not look human at all. Her look reminds me of a corpse laid out for its wake. Waxy and nonliving....sad that these women end up but a caricature of their former self.
Jaclyn Smith sucked on Shear Genius, but then again so did Camila Alves -- even more
I met Jaclyn Smith in Holmby Park about 3 years ago- she has Cavalier King Charles Spaniels, so I was talking to her about her doggies. She was very, very nice, and looks amazing..
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He's been pretty much yellow, and I've been kind of blue
But all I can see is red, red red red red now
What am I gonna do?
-Fiona Apple
I can almost pinpoint the exact point in time when Xtina completely lost her self-esteem.
I remember seeing her being interviewed on Carson Daly's MTV show at the time, and they were following her around before the release of her 'Stripped' album.
She was stuffing her face with fast food trying to gain weight so she wouldn't look like the stick she was (check out 'Lady Marmalade' for proof) and to fill out her newly bought titty balls.
Plus, that's when she started splattering her face with pumpkin powder to maximize her ho look.
Underneath all that MAC she is a very cute girl, and it is a shame that Hollywood has made her think that being cute and petite is not enough.
Sad.
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
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I stood in line behind Jaclyn Smith at Whole Foods in Brentwood about 4 years ago. She was rocking some tight jeans and the Angels hair. You know what? Bitch looks damn good for her age. For any age. There's a lot to be said for making a fortune at KMart.
love christina!
___________________
"If a lady treats other people as she'd like to be treated, she's allowed to roll in the grass if she wants to ..."
Lena Horne
This bitch is so played out. (Xtina)
I loathe KK, but I WANT THAT DRESS!
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You never know when a pap is going to take your picture. And you never know when a blogger wearing stained sweat shorts is going to post said picture.
-MK
It's too bad. Xtina has a killer voice and would be pretty attractive without all that paint on. I thought becoming a mom would've mellowed her out a bit, like Nicole Richie...who looks as though she's kicked the drugs and crazy partying for good. I hope she makes a real comeback for her next album and I don't want to hear of any more diva bitchery from her!
and nobody compares to the Goddess of Shoulder Pads, Joan Collins!
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"Leavin', on a southern train
Only yesterday, you lied
Promises of what I seemed to be
Only watch the time go by
All of these things you said to me"
James Franco's loveliness is almost strong enough to hold its own next to Joan Collins. Almost.
Submitted by Dgrin on Sun, 09/26/2010 - 7:29pm.
I gotta say, I'm starting to seriously believe that women picked the ugly stick in the battle of the sexes. cause most men don't have to do absolutely nothing to themselves and still look 100% hotter than any girl without make-up,sad but truth.it's just so hard to find a girl who is just as hot in her natural state
*sigh* Statements like this are why so many women fuck up their bodies with plastic surgery and ED's, and why Xtina wears so much makeup.
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And I hear your words that I made up. You say my name like there could be an us. I'd best tidy up my head I'm the only one in love, I'm the only one in love.
Adele, "Heart to Stone"
dgrin most days i dreamt of being a little boy when i was little-truth talk
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Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm
damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!
HoityToity
you're criticizing someones sense of fashion? what a joke.and your grammar is a hot mess.
good night.
I gotta say, I'm starting to seriously believe that women picked the ugly stick in the battle of the sexes. cause most men don't have to do absolutely nothing to themselves and still look 100% hotter than any girl without make-up,sad but truth.it's just so hard to find a girl who is just as hot in her natural state while a hot man can skip shaving and not bath for days and still would be very bang-able under all the grease
Someone gave Kim some terrible advise. She looks like hell, and this girl was actually born beautiful.
Stop fixing your face.
Christina's hair is obviously fake, or so abused to the point of no return that it looks like a 99 cent store wig.
Jesus, could KK and Xtina have more make-up on? And the fillers are killing women's faces. KK still looks good but she looks so plasticy. Come on girls. There's nothing wrong with having lines on your face. Stop with the poofy look.
Kim looks exactly like her mother in that close-up. And those eyebrowns are giving Xtina's a run for their money in hideousness.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Xtina-WHY?! Why the makeup?! And for fuck's sake, why Bionic?! I love Xtina, love her music, but that album was TERRIBLE. And she is a pretty girl. There is no reason for her to be so insecure about how she looks...someone must have really fucked up her self-esteem.
I like KK's dress.
Nicole Richie can do no wrong. Yeah, I'm a Richie loon.
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And I hear your words that I made up. You say my name like there could be an us. I'd best tidy up my head I'm the only one in love, I'm the only one in love.
Adele, "Heart to Stone"
"Failtina"
*chokes*
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Submitted by Stoney on Sun, 09/26/2010 - 5:52pm.
HOTNEY?! Where?!
*
On page '2'
You Lost Me. The New Single by Christina Aguilera. July 2010
HOTNEY?! Where?!
Richie always looks adorable.
_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
HOTNEY is still posting? Still? *dies laughing*
You Lost Me. The New Single by Christina Aguilera. July 2010
*blinks* I can defend her for that dress, the tan, or the hair.
Better like next time, Christina!
You Lost Me. The New Single by Christina Aguilera. July 2010
If you insist on being orange, please be uniformly orange, not splotchy orange.....and match your eyebrows dammit!!! Since it's near Halloween, I'd go with green. Much more flattering than that shit color.
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*smiling with liver*
I wonder if someone told Christina that she was ugly during a fragile time in her life. I can't understand why someone (who isn't a fabulous drag queen, a mime, or a geisha) would pile that much make-up on her face if she wasn't pathologically insecure and damaged.
I really like Nicole's dress, but that hair colour looks trashy on her.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb