Montana Fishburne Was Right
Getting slapped in the mouth with Ray J's crooked cock while the camera rolls might start looking real attractive to some of you after reading this mess of a story from TMZ. Golden showers brings $30,000 purses! High school counselors need to immediately update their "What do you want to do with your life?" speeches, because getting it in the end on camera will always pay off in the end.
TMZ has is it on good authority that amateur porn star Kim Kardassian and her grand pimp of a mother strolled into Hermes in Paris yesterday afternoon to do a little shopping. And by a little shopping, I mean Kim pulled around $100k in small bills out of her 8-mile-long ass crack to pay for just seven bags. A source (aka a text message from Kris) says that those two whores bought six $10,000 Birkin bags and a limited-edition crocodile bag for $30,000.
That poor crocodile. It probably spent the better part of its life attacking and eating wild pigs, and now it's being carried by one. The irony hurts more than Kim Kardassian's chemically treated face when she tries to give a beej.
But I'm not going to fully hate on Kim's whore game. The only thing I ever get from whoring it up is anonymous E-cards from inSPOT.