A Handful Of Tommy Titty
At last night's NYC premiere of The Romantics, Stepford Katie constantly kept putting her trained hand right below Tommy Girl's decolletage (aka the official Scientology jizz landing pad) in almost every picture. It's like she was giving him a breast exam right there in front of everyone. Or maybe that's how Tommy uploads sound bytes into her hard drive for her to spit out at the media in between her frozen smiles. It must be something like that, because I'm pretty sure Tommy doesn't like anyone to side-hug him unless there's a peen poking at his waist.
Speaking of Stepford-worthy sound bytes, Katie gave a few to various outlets about Suri and her beloved master. Bitch sounds like she gets her quotes from a Disney Princess See 'N Say or Dream Phone.
On how romantic Tommy is: "My husband has red roses for me everywhere I go and whenever we travel."On being a mom: "Being a mother is so dreamy."
On Suri's internal light: "She is such a light that you instantly feel better. When I'm working, I feel like 'Wow, this is so magical I get to share this with you, and you give me so much.' It's really fun"
What the hell is wrong with her?! Katie is in the wrong business. She should be writing songs for Barry Manilow, or English tag lines for products in China.
Here's more of Katie trying to squeeze leche out of Tommy's nipples last night while Adam Brody, Josh Duhamel, Elijah Wood and Malin Akerman watched.
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w'the fuck is she wearing
I wish I would've seen this story yesterday when it was posted because I saw this bitch on Letterman night before last promoting this piece of shit movie.
During her interview she looked at the floor, the technicians and Letterman never once looking into or acknowledging the audience. At one point she cocked her head toward Letterman giving the audience and home viewers a view of the top of her useless head for a few minutes. Her Suri and "husband" stories describing it all as "magical" made her look like a complete moron and I had to resort to doing a bong of pharmaceutical grade weed (Jesus weed, coz when you smoke it you see God)to stay with it to see if she had anything worth hearing. She didn't. What a cunt. The dress she wore showed off her thick manly thighs that could possibly span the Mississippi River.
Does Tammy take it 'bare' or does she demand rubbers?
(We suspect she demands not one but TWO rubbers on her men!)
I find Tom Cruise so icky because of the Scientology brainwashing - but for long as I have heard the "in the closet" jokes about him, I am left wondering what he really does that has invited this kind of talk? If he were straight and gaga over Scientology, I would understand his controlling behavior over Katy, but I still don't see the gay side.
Now, Micheal must have the finest gaydar unit around, so I wish he would answer this w/ some idea of why Tom is gay or what has he done that shows his gay tendencies. If anybody else does either, please let me know... t.i.a.
Bravo to the moms here who see right through this bullshit! This chick's statements actually belittle modern motherhood. Fuck her & fuck him too. They have, of course, sipped the Kool-aid & actually believe their own hype. I'm tired of ignoring the derision I feel for these God-damned celebrities--if they weren't so f'ing pervasive, I could've stayed sane. Enough is enough! I'm sure I'll be called a "Hater"--that's fine, cuz i hate the crap turd-piles like this bombard me with on a daily basis--but I am officially on the offensive. The "H" is "O", jackholes!!!!!
Funny, funny Michael K. Maybe she can write ads for Hello Kitty products.
Those black stockings do not make her legs look smaller if that was her intention. I am sick of seeing girls wear black pantyhose with their shorts all summer long. Perhaps this fashion don't is hiding something awful like good taste.
Well, my daughter's coughing woke me up this morning while I was dreaming about Chace Crawford, does that count?
*slaps Katie*
*and Suri*
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And I hear your words that I made up. You say my name like there could be an us. I'd best tidy up my head I'm the only one in love, I'm the only one in love.
Adele, "Heart to Stone"
WTF with the shoes?
♥ Threadkilla!
Hey Cee Lo. There are two sides to every story:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1940830
It's no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. ~ Jiddu Krishnamurti
What the hell is wrong with her? She's such a fucking airhead. Didn't she used to do the whole 'I'm better than other young actresses because I'm intelligent and virginal'? Hometrick is dumb as fuck. And I expect that little Suri to turn into one of McGilla Gorilla's kids. I mean who showers that much praise on a fucking 3 year old? No wonder that stepdaughter hates them and is fleeing to Nicole.
Something isn't adding up
She's several inches taller than him
She has 3-4 inch heels on
His shoes look to have 1/2-3/4 inch heels
She should be towering over him in those pics
A full head taller
At least
She must be bending her knees or standing in the street while he's on the curb
Or both
1. Black tights with light shoes look horrible particularly when you have thankles.
2. Katie has the worst legs, I don't know how no one has told her to keep them covered in something other than "boyfriend jeans" and leggies.
3. Katie dresses like shit yet is always referred to as a fashion icon.
4. Why is it necessary for her to wear 6 inch heals when her husband is 4'11"?
I think I'm done.
Tom has that "does my backside look good at this angle" look on his face for pic #7. Odd I guess....
Malin Akerman has a big head.
OMG FBH U can't be serious about her tree trunks??
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►I'm a free bitch, baby◄
"Give me a red velvet with a heaping sprinkling of FUCK on top!" MK
Katie-bot needs a new chip cause those are the lamest quotes she's ever uttered. "Dreamy"? Bitch is looking BEAT.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
You're welcome to your opinion unless it differs from mine.
Tom's robot needs to be recharged (it sure looks cute, though!).
*BEEP BOOP BOOP BEEP* Dreamy! *BOOP BEEP* Magical! *BURRRUPRUPRUP BEEP* Suri! Amazing woman! *BLUUUUURRrrrrrppppp......*
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Hooooooty who give an eff about Haiti?! I don't! BAM!" - MK as Taylor Momsen
WOW all that squating to pose with McCrazy making Katie's gams look delish!
I love her gorgeous legs.. Wish I could dress her up
She has a really cute figure on her
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Justify and purify your lady parts
Be Differemt!!!!
If that ain't the most brainwashed response I don't know what is. I think Katie tries to fight these freaks but I think they are slowly wearing her down. If she wrote a tell all book about nutbar Tommy, regardless of any confidentiality lawsuit she'd get slapped with she could still make millions and millions of dollars. Fuck Tommy’s money.That book would be #1 for weeks and weeks
Submitted by Moxie GangsterThug on Wed, 09/08/2010 - 1:36pm.
Yeah being a mom is so magical. So magical that's why Bella is trailing behind them in that 6th pic with that scowl on her face:
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Ugh. I totally missed that. I wonder how often I miss that? She looks like she failed the "Do you want to be a celebrity" exam.
♥ Threadkilla!
Hey Cee Lo. There are two sides to every story:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1940830
It's no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. ~ Jiddu Krishnamurti
Being a mother is so dreamy? Maybe if you can hire an army of servants to do all the work for you.
Yeah being a mom is so magical. So magical that's why Bella is trailing behind them in that 6th pic with that scowl on her face: Her full time actor parents can look vogue and glam without her detracting from them! That's how we can tell they are such proud, happy parents- Because they stuff their kid in the background and ignore her! If she hadn't been in that one pic we wouldn't have even known she was there. What assholes. I hope those kids really do fly the coop back to Nic when they are old enough- at least she will probably appreciate having them around.
"Being a mother is so dreamy. (...) She is such a light that you instantly feel better."
Someone please hand me a barf bag asap! I've been a mother for some 7 years now, and even though I love my kid to bits, my life expectancy dropped dramatically ever since I had her. Stepford Katie must either be high on something or she is barking mad.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
How does Elijah Wood keep getting invited to shit? Because he keeps sucking Leo Dicaprio's dick?
"I've had spots on my butt forever - it's a leopard booty."-Chippy D
Dreamy and magical? Did the copyright on "amazing" expire?
Every time I see KateBot I have the instant craving to slap the shit outta her dumb ass for marrying that woman!
And you know TommyGirl is fucking Elijah Wood because that is the only other person in Hollyweird shorter than him!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
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Katie's legs are too damn thick for this miniskirt-and-nylons fuckery.
Manilow is fucking talented. He doesn't need this broad writing his songs for him. How dare you MK. HOW.DARE.YOU!*
*kidding
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.
I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."
Katie is exactly the type of woman I want to punch in the temple. Defined soley by her husband and child. She's said she'll actually change clothes if her kid doesn't like what she's wearing because she wants her to be "happy". I can't figure out if that's a Scientology thing or an extraordinarily misguided way to raise a spoiled brat who thinks her opinion is the only one that matters.
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I ALMOST threw up my grilled cheese sandwich but with Jesus in your life, you can overcome anything. - boobxqueen on Octomom's Star cover
She places her hand on his scientoloboob because he's so freakin' short. If he was a man instead of a leprechaun then she'd have her hand around his waist.
Submitted by kokoskitten
UUUUGH...I personally find "red roses" to be the ultimate generic 'romantic' gesture.
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TOTALLY! Any ho can send their assistant to order roses. "Romance" is when your man does something that's just for you.
My husband once served me a pizza with a fake bloody finger on it. Now that's romantic!
But, in all honesty, I agree with that part. If I could stay home and parent all day it would make me pretty happy. Happier than almost anything else, pretty sure.
PS. I've noticed that it becomes 'dreamier' the more shitty everything else becomes.
♥ Threadkilla!
Hey Cee Lo. There are two sides to every story:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1940830
It's no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. ~ Jiddu Krishnamurti
Mopping bananas off the floor while my one-year-old screamed this morning was soooo dreamy!
Elijah couldn't somehow stand a foot in front of the two on either side to offset the elfin look? I mean, damn, lets build in a little vertical symmetry. I thought someone brought their tween in the last pic.
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"Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep insights can be winnowed from deep nonsense. Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." - Carl Sagan
Cha! Parenting IS dreamy.
The other day I had a dream my daughter was being SO obnoxious and there was this lady in the house so I couldn't yell at her properly. Then she woke me up with kisses - to tell me she was leaving for an early breakfast and some kinda outing(this part's real - ps with an adult, we live communally) And I said: Great. Go. Then she woke me up again to make sure I heard her the first time, then she woke me up AGAIN to tell me she had fed the bunny. Then she woke me up AGAIN with more kisses to say good-bye. It's all a haze now but I just remember that she was waking me up WAY too early and did it so many times I couldn't go back to sleep. And I couldn't yell at her cuz she really didn't do anything wrong. Dreamy. See?!
♥ Threadkilla!
Hey Cee Lo. There are two sides to every story:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1940830
It's no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. ~ Jiddu Krishnamurti
The only thing dreamy about being a mother is due to the nitrous oxide gas in the labor room, that's it.
Weird they are, weird.
UUUUGH...I personally find "red roses" to be the ultimate generic 'romantic' gesture. I don't know why that quote from the whole thing is bugging me. I mean all of it bugs me but that sticks out.
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and I was helping children in Morocco, it wasn't like a vacation...
"Being a mother is so dreamy."
Is this bitch serious?!
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"I was born with glitter on my face;
My baby clothes made of leather and lace"
DREAMY? When the kids are toddlers, parents always say, "lalalala, you never know love until you're a parent, my child is magical." Yeah, wait till that child turns 15 and starts resenting you. Not like I'm cynical or anything. But srsly, I'm never having kids. Just dogs.
Malin Akerman
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Forget about TommyGirl and his fantasies - who is THIS tall cool glass o' water? (that's how you say it, right?)
♥ Threadkilla!
Hey Cee Lo. There are two sides to every story:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1940830
It's no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. ~ Jiddu Krishnamurti
Elijah Wood is wearing the PeeWee Herman make-up Special, i see.
And Fergie`s man got a head the size of Texas. NOT SEZZZAYYY!!
I fixed dinner, i get bottom. I called it!!
The angle in the 3rd and 5th thumbs make Katie look like Godzilla compared to Tom. Can't believe Fergie is hitting that (Josh, duh). Really? FML.
Dude! Why is that one pic SO FREAKING HUGE????????
katie's choice of shoe is all wrong...
and exactly how tall is elijah wood?
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sit your $5 ass down before i make change...
When is someone going to thrash on Katies AWFUL legs! She should not be wearing tights....BOOTS!!!!Thigh high boots.
Submitted by Mizzy on Wed, 09/08/2010 - 11:33am.
She's just such a little girl.
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Who you talkin' 'bout, Willis? Katie, or Tommy?
"Dreamy"? Did Tammy set her "compliment meter" to 1950s slang?
Srsly these couldn't sound any more scripted and cliched if she used the word "amazing."
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Katie looks damn good in that fourth picture. I'd love to have those legs resting on my shoulders anyday.
This is some 500 SERVER ERROR SHIT!!
(oh sorry, I was having a flashback)
She's just such a little girl.
Christ Katie, you dress like that MARRIED to a gay bff?
Tom must be extra catty, cackling with John T about what he got you to wear outside. "Oh girl! Clunky beige heels and black tights! Yes, I'm serious! *both laugh hysterically*"