Does He Have A Donut Crumb In His Nostril?
Jessica Simpson Twatted this picture of her gazing lovingly up into the nostrils of her boyfriend Eric Johnson as though his mocos are covered with chocolate and powdered sugar. Jessica also added this little caption:
"I met a wonderful man. Damn I'm lucky!"
Maybe Jessica got mixed up and really meant to post a picture of her with Bob's Big Boy.
But seriously, Jessica is still one of those girls who tell themselves they are happy by telling everyone about how happy they are. You know, that girl who is always saying shit in front of you like: "Look at my hot man eat that chicken fanger. Damn I'm lucky!", "Look at my hot man work that remote control. Damn I'm lucky!", "Look at my hot man throwing me a side-eye like he wants to choke my annoying ass out. Damn I'm lucky!" and "Look at my hot man carry all of his shit out of my house and into the trunk of his new girlfriend's car outside. Damn I'm lucky!".
via HuffPo
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Not counting John Mayer, it seems she likes the "All American Boy" type. Too bad she keeps picking the kind that are really douchebags in disguise.
Well...
I dont think its so much the fact that "hes not looking at her in the picture". Its more that she chose that picture in particular to post. I think it means that's where her head is at: admiring a man who's somewhat indifferent. I know from first hand experience-a mindset like that spells trouble. So in that sense I feel bad for her'cause thinking like that is a bad place to be in.
You know things aren't right when someone has to constantly tell everyone how wonderful their relationship is. Funny how he's barely said a word about her. No wonder she always ends up with egg on her face
"But seriously, Jessica is still one of those girls who tell themselves they are happy by telling everyone about how happy they are."
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Especially when they have to update and post pix of how happy they are with their bf all over Facebook. Ugh.
Jessica has many problems most of which is her father. He is too controlling of her life and will drive away any man who is halfway decent. Honestly she should have stayed with Nick Lachey. I really think he's probably the only one who probably actually loved her plus I wouldn't have to see with him Miss Milana Folder. P.S. I don't think Jessica's fat if that matters nor do I think she's as dumb as she acts.
Best post evar! MK is a gifted blogger prophet! We must bow down to her!
i think she's the one celeb that needs to keep her personal life private.. and off twitter.
~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~<3~~<3~
"Oh, mama
I wanna go surfing
Oh, mama
I don't care about nothing"
She looks at him like a rescue dog that has found a fucking home.
She scares me.
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Wyle E
"understand that a slow red panda who nibbles pickles and does somersaults in the middle of a dancefloor is entertaining to a 7-year-old... " MK.
Submitted by DivasGone on Tue, 09/07/2010 - 1:11am.
I don't like fat jokes either.
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R.I.P Ronnie James Dio :(
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She's dumb and her music's awful, but she's harmless.
So I don't really have anything mean to say besides that. She's been having shitty luck with men for a while now, so I think it'd be nice if she finally found someone who didn't treat her like garbage.
I've got to admit, I kind of wish the Billy Corgan thing would have worked because that'd be one of the most bizarre couples I've ever seen.
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R.I.P Ronnie James Dio :(
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I love MK... but fat comments about this codependent, dim witted, clingy bitch are not funny. She looks good!!
Submitted by WhiskeyTango on Mon, 09/06/2010 - 10:32pm.
Hi all, I'm back from seeing "Machete." I actually thought it was pretty enjoyable; not a fan of super violent movies usually, but this one made you laugh in between the flying limbs and car chase scenes...the violence is so over the top that it's cartoonish. plus, Machete himself is pretty badass, and so is Steven Seagal as the Mexican drug lord.
I've looked at some scenes called the B-rolls on the net and it really looks like a comedy to me...I like your review...thanks.
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 09/09/2009 - 1:14pm.
She looks like the ass end of that human mule on a GOOD day.
Submitted by WhiskeyTango on Mon, 09/06/2010 - 10:32pm.
Hmmm...I might have to see this sooner than later! I hate Jessica Alba's acting though. that's why I'm hesitating.
Confucius say: Fat and stupid is no way to go through life, Jessucca.
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Illuminati Monarch Slave, at your service.
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If we looked up the definition of "codependent" in the dictionary this pic should come up too. Sad.
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
what a skanky lard-ass Simpson is ... is there any man with a publicist who she hasn't thrown herself at?
dimwitted skeez.
Hi all, I'm back from seeing "Machete." I actually thought it was pretty enjoyable; not a fan of super violent movies usually, but this one made you laugh in between the flying limbs and car chase scenes...the violence is so over the top that it's cartoonish. plus, Machete himself is pretty badass, and so is Steven Seagal as the Mexican drug lord.
Blohan makes a short appearance as an Uzi-wielding nun (yeah, I didn't get it either) and Michelle Rodriguez's abs are to die for. Jessica Alba really cannot act to save her life, though. For serious.
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Now, cryin' won't help you, prayin' won't do you no good,
When the levee breaks, mama, you got to move.
@Hekki, ideally, I'd like both to love equally. Seems kind of sad and unfair any other way.
I don't mind the "I'm so happy/blessed" comments on facebook so long as their on occasion. Sometimes you do come to the realization that things at that very moment are going great. It's the people who write that sort of stuff every other day that make it annoying, it seems disingenuous.
I also don't mind people writing lovey dovey comments on each others' walls (they can do whatever they want since those comments are technically directed at each other despite everyone being able to see them). Even the occasional lovey dovey status can be cute. Again, it's the rarity of it that keeps me thinking it's sweet.
But people who have the same trend in their messages are annoying, it's like tuning into a radio station. Sad chick: Life sucks and then you die, why is life so hard, all I want is to crawl up and die. Mundane detail guy: hanging out with the guys, making lunch, going to sleep, just woke up. New mom: CHILD is napping I hope it lasts, what new creative meal should I make for CHILD (who is 1 and doesn't care), omg lawnmowers outside I hope it doesn't wake up CHILD. Seriously, people need to be more well-rounded. Not for my entertainment but for their own sanity.
I give this another 3 months, tops. She's got that, "I'm nothing without you," thing going on.
That is the Pat Nixon/Betty Ford stand-by-your-man-even-though-you-are-an-addict-with-eating-disorders pose.
Submitted by excy on Mon, 09/06/2010 - 4:33pm.
It's incredible that people continue to believe that meeting a "wonderful" partner will solve all of their problems. Recipe for DISASTER.
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Amen.
I'm so torn between whether to root for this twit because she seem like a nice person, or hope that she gets her heart broken again since she appeared to have a man who really loved her and tossed him aside.
She's all over this dude and I don't think he feels the same way, how sad. He's not even looking at her, lol. She's really pretty though.
Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 09/06/2010 - 8:19pm.
ESE: I think Jessica's pretty, too.
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I do three! I like her nose too!
ESE: I think Jessica's pretty, too.
And I don't have much experience with Southern ladies (thank goodness!) but there are plenty of Jewish ladies who do the same thing. My friend's mom is the QUEEN of the backhanded compliment. It's a gift.
Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 09/06/2010 - 7:25pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 09/06/2010 - 7:08pm.
Ahahahahaha! Some dumb Southern whore said to me at some stupid ass (supposedly swank) cocktail party "My, don't you look...festive" (cuz I'm a low rent tacky ass ghetto ho bitch...)
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You go, gurl! My day is not complete until someone calls me festive lookin':)
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And if it an uppity bitch my earrings is COMIN' OFF! I 'might could' snatch a bitch bald headed...
O/T Thought that pic of Jess was a hosed down Shitney....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 09/06/2010 - 6:37pm.
It's always better for the man to love the woman more than she loves him
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that works for my wife... me?... yeah, it works out nice for me too.. it's just one more thing that i'm better at than her... heeheehee!!
OT: go ahead and laugh at me.. i still think Jessica's pretty
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
another jessica simpson romance makes me sad.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Mon, 09/06/2010 - 7:08pm.
Ahahahahaha! Some dumb Southern whore said to me at some stupid ass (supposedly swank) cocktail party "My, don't you look...festive" (cuz I'm a low rent tacky ass ghetto ho bitch...)
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You go, gurl! My day is not complete until someone calls me festive lookin':)
♥ Threadkilla!
Hey Cee Lo. There are two sides to every story:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1940830
It's no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. ~ Jiddu Krishnamurti
Submitted by Dog on Mon, 09/06/2010 - 2:52pm.
Submitted by mike on Mon, 09/06/2010 - 2:47pm.
Submitted by Dog on Mon, 09/06/2010 - 2:44pm.
A look and a gesture are worlds apart, dear girl.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Well, I will concede this about Southerners. Southern women in particular. There is NO ONE on the face of the earth who can put another person down so thoroughly and completely without using a single derogatory remark or swear word than a Southern Belle. And she'll do it with a smile on her face the whole time.
Example: Well, aren't those shoes the sweetest? Such an INTERESTING choice to wear with that pair of pants, which, by the way, really do flatter you from the front.
Bitch.
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Ahahahahaha! Some dumb Southern whore said to me at some stupid ass (supposedly swank) cocktail party "My, don't you look...festive" (cuz I'm a low rent tacky ass ghetto ho bitch...) So I said back to the bland, no ass havin' uppity bitch..."Yes, yes, I do...and it's so nice to see a wallflower like yourself able to appreciate it..."
Now I'm a Southern whore I'm just ghetto trash...but I can appreciate some Southernisms and their passive aggressive nature...My favorite is 'might could'...
'Might Could' translates roughly as "Hell Naw"...
ex) LouAnne, you reckon you could head up the fundraiser for the church since you done such a bang up job with no help whatsoever for the past five years despite having a full time job and six kids?
LouAnne: " I might could"....
Basically this is LouAnne's way of telling Preacher McFuckTard that if he doesn't ask someone else to do this mess, he 'might could' wind up stabbed over 100 times, horrifically mutilated, partially eaten and buried in a shallow grave behind LouAnne's vegetable garden...
Anyone who translates 'might could' any other way does so at his own peril....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
It's always better for the man to love the woman more than she loves him (in a hetero relationship). What do you all think?
I think it's totally true. I also think people tend to be one type, as a pattern. It's almost like one person is the giver of love and one is the receiver, and you choose the same role over and over again. I choose to be the receiver. Which type are you?
Submitted by LaChaylo: "...I was myspace friends with this couple years ago, and they were so obnoxious with their, I have the greatest hubby ever, I love my wifey, wifey and hubby love their kids, can't wait to see wifey, so lucky to be in love with hubby......"
Damn. I was hoping your story was going to end in a nasty raging divorce!
Hell, it probably will.
Yeah Jess, he's a wonderful man - until he isn't.
They all disappoint you if you (or they) hang around long enough....
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"Life is a long lesson in humility."
-- James M. Barrie
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Mon, 09/06/2010 - 5:27pm.
I'm waiting for Soultonic, Whiskey and Queeny to tell me! I might wait for it to be out at a cheaper theater. :D
nightowl:
Let me know how it is, because I tried to bootleg it last night, but it was all fuxored!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
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Submitted by Soultonic on Mon, 09/06/2010 - 2:28pm.
Submitted by QueenieBK on Mon, 09/06/2010 - 2:34pm.
Submitted by WhiskeyTango on Mon, 09/06/2010 - 2:34pm.
Submitted by Soultonic on Mon, 09/06/2010 - 2:30pm.
Off-topic: I'm going to go see Machete tonight and I'm kinda excited. I hope it doesn't disappoint cause it got mixed reviews.
I'm going to see it right after work.
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Ooh I wanna see it too! You must let us know how if you liked it!
*side eyes at my hot man sleeping on the sofa, and thinks DAMN he is lucky I haven't killed him yet*
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“She was not quite what you would call refined. She was not quite what you would call unrefined. She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot.”
Mark Twain
Another useless ho, can't stand her. She screams co-dependent, and the fact she has to constantly twat about her boy is fucking stupid.
I was myspace friends with this couple years ago, and they were so obnoxious with their, I have the greatest hubby ever, I love my wifey, wifey and hubby love their kids, can't wait to see wifey, so lucky to be in love with hubby...you name it, they wrote that gross shit as their status constantly. I deleted their couple's profile ass, and then they requested me on facebook not too long ago. I had to ignore their ass 3 times, only to run into the hubby at a mutual friend's party. I wasn't even really friends with them, I just went to high school with hubby wubby, shit.
I am all for people being happy, but if you have to rub it in people's faces, you're probably not that fucking happy to begin with.
What does Jessica Simpson do these days?
I'm serious.
I learned she was some MTV reality hag in the beginning of last decade?
Sings sometimes? Acts in straight to dvd films? Why is this woman famous? I mean, I read on Wikipedia what she used to do, but what does she do now beyond getting dumped by semi famous douchebags like that horrible singer and football player??
It's incredible that people continue to believe that meeting a "wonderful" partner will solve all of their problems. Recipe for DISASTER.
Should I know who Eric Johnson is and what he does? He has a nice profile, I'll give him that.
Shame Jess fugs up the picture though.
She never learns does she?
She probably has the memory of a goldfish (3 seconds).
Still I dont totally hate her... but as all of you folks I HATE people that want everyone to know how HAPPY they are or how many DAYS they've dated their "other half" like "540 days and counting", makes me throw up in my mouth a little... more than a little.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
she's not me
Bless her little heart.
Submitted by Dog on Mon, 09/06/2010 - 3:19pm.
She should never have left Nick. They really were perfect together.
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My aunt brought some of her brats here and I was forced to watch some disney shit so they would STFU (ok, it was aladdin, I actually liked that movie) and I kid you not, in the dvd extras these two make a duet singing the main song. Hilarious!
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It ain’t the parts of the Bible that I can’t understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand. – Mark Twain.
this stupid girl will never learn.
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"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa."
-Britney Spears
so true about the facebook comments i have a best bud who makes the worst decisions on dating men but i keep my mouth shut her sister on the other hand criticizes the shit out of her and makes even worse choices in men anywho she added me as a friend and now i have to see her stupid comments about god is great cause she found the perfect man who is her best friend and blah blah blah almost every other day and shes only started dating him a month ago...she also talked shit when i got with my boyfriend 4 years ago...shes gone through a more than a few dozen since then....
Submitted by mike on Mon, 09/06/2010 - 2:41pm.
Submitted by kokoskitten on Mon, 09/06/2010 - 2:33pm.
I can't stand the people who have to constantly share how happy they are and how "amazing" and "blessed" their life is. The more you brag about it the less I will believe you.
You need to be a Southerner. If you're Southern, and you're talking to another Southerner, you can easily convey your belief that they're trying to blow smoke up your ass with a look.
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Mike,I was born in San Leandro,CA and raised by a family of Displaced Southerners. I married a Displaced Southerner. I have spent the past thirty years trying to understand Southerners ...and Mr. W says I'll never fully comprehend the South because I didn't grow up in the culture.
He once called me"damnyankee"at the dinner table.
Submitted by kokoskitten on Mon, 09/06/2010 - 2:33pm.
I can't stand the people who have to constantly share how happy they are and how "amazing" and "blessed" their life is. The more you brag about it the less I will believe you.
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I agree because I've been there and done that. When I was younger and stupider and getting over a bad break-up, I'd do the "I'm so happy today!"/"What a nice day this was!" shit to make people think I had it together even though my pride was seriously hurt. If you're truly happy, you don't feel the need to advertise as much.
I will say, I find the picture kind of cute. Even if it's a farce, they both look really happy there.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
I don't begrudge her having some happiness. She's had a bad time of it.
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Really don't mind if you sit this one out
My words but a whisper, your deafness a shout
--Jethro Tull
She definitely gives too much adoration in a relationship. Just back the fuck off, Jessica. Don't suffocate the man. There is a book called, "Why men like bitches." Jessica and Jennifer Love Hewitt should read it.