This Is Romance

Isn't it every little girl's dream to one day receive a marriage proposal from a fully waxed and greased guido gorilla on the cover of a prestigious magazine that is mostly used as a cum rag by homeless crackheads in the Tri-state area? The same magazine that Hailey Glassman scooted her skidmark on a few months ago. The answer has to be yes, because this is the true definition of ROMANCE. Well, if you wet farted on the definition and then wiped it down with one of The Situation's used condoms.

Jeff Miranda, the assbag who is currently sticking his peen in a jar of pickle juice for Snooki to lick on, did the famewhore kneel and proposed to her on the cover of Steppin' Out Magazine (via Radar Online). The Iraq war veteran (File this under: PSD) has only been pickling Snooki for a few weeks, but his fake tanned heart is already filled with love and other diseases for her. Jeff told Steppin' Out:

“I want us to be together forever. I could see us having children. I want to pop the question to her. If we got married we would be the best parents around. She's so loving and puts everyone else before her self. She'll be a great mother. I love her and want to be with her. I will never break her heart. She's such a great girl. If people could see us together they would think we're a match made in heaven. People think I'm using her for fame. But that's bullshit.”

Oh yes, this queef nugget definitely isn't using Snooks for fame! And asking her to marry him on the cover of a magazine completely supports this claim.

The gross part is that I'm sure Snooki thinks this is some romantical shit. I just hope that when Jeff really does poop out the question to Snooki, he does it by slipping an engagement NuvaRing into her pickle hole so these two never ever reproduce! Although, he might not need to do that, because I'm pretty sure wearing Ed Hardy chonies makes you sterile.

Posted by: Michael K

•

Submitted by bornagainChristian on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 9:11pm.

let's not forget the real reason snooki should say YES!

he threatened and then tried to kill his last girlfriend.
she currently has an order of protection out on him.

he's a keeper snooki!!!!

Submitted by scallywagy on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 7:31pm.

Just imagine: Jeff Miranda force feeds chocolate double dip ice cream to Snooki during one hazy sunset on the shimmering Jersey Boardwalk (a la Mike the Situation recently) while innocent chihuahua’s in the background silently whimper in approval . The American public laughs and awes. Overwhelmed by raw passion, sweet Jeff suddenly beats his Snookers with a sawed of shotgun. The American public stamps its feet and cries. Jeff Miranda holds his battered Snooki in his freshly-pumped arms, guzzles a protein shake and proposes to host the wedding on the soon-to-be-sanctioned YouTube Pay-per-view system. The American public buys; MTV uses the money to fund a revolution in a small African country and install them as de facto co-puppet-regents (just wait for the Ed Hardy brand leper colony).

http://scallywagandvagabond.com/2010/08/winning-americas-heart-jeff-mira...

Submitted by poshjosh on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 6:37pm.

He needs to cut out some of the "juice" and add A LOT more cardio. I'd actually love to see him get in shape via yoga. He'd probably be totally hot.

Submitted by Infamous on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 4:09pm.

(sighs) how romantic

www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous

Submitted by Dr.Toast on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 2:59pm.

This guy once put a loaded shotgun to his girlfriend's head, nice guy.

Submitted by Vermithrax on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 2:48pm.

Someone for everyone.

Submitted by teayza31 on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 1:53pm.

He kinda looks like Derek Jeter.

Submitted by Miami on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 1:38pm.

@Uncle: I hear you. But even if the standards have fallen in the military, why embarrass yourself by posing like that? Tell the magazine you will do it next month. Then you hit the gym daily eating lean proteins and vegetables only.

Submitted by degostev on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 1:16pm.

am I the only one that thinks Snicker's man looks like one of Sly Stallone's run-away love children ?

Submitted by complication on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 1:05pm.

If only wearing Ed Hardy chonies DID make you sterile... the world would be a better place.
**********************
Shameless self promotion a.k.a. trying to make a dolla in this economy!!
http://www.cafepress.com/prettydisaster

Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 1:02pm.

Submitted by Miami on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 2:28pm.
Firstly, what was quoted is complete and utter crap for publicity. Duh.

Secondly, for his age, and being an Iraq veteran, he isn't in that good of shape. Every other guy in South Beach, is better looking and more ripped than this douche and probably older too.
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Sadly enough the physical fitness standards for the Military have dropped drastically. (at least for the Army, that is) I see MoFos around here in BDU`s that are pushing a keg in front of them the size of my Dad`s ol` gut, but he s 70.
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I fixed dinner, i get bottom. I called it!!

Submitted by Miami on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 12:58pm.

Firstly, what was quoted is complete and utter crap for publicity. Duh.

Secondly, for his age, and being an Iraq veteran, he isn't in that good of shape. Every other guy in South Beach, is better looking and more ripped than this douche and probably older too.

Submitted by MattyCII on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 12:38pm.

Damn!! I would marry him in a heartbeat!! So Sexy!!! ;-D

Submitted by Anthea on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 12:35pm.

I'd say YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS ;-)

A prayer for the wild at heart - kept in cages / Tennessee Williams

Submitted by Whatever on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 12:25pm.

What a total douche. Of course he is not using her to get his fugly self on a magazine cover.

Submitted by Soultonic on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 12:14pm.

Typical tacky guido move. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and admit that he has a nice face, but he still needs to work on the stomach area.

*************
Don't hate me cause I'm DLeautiful

Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 12:00pm.

Whoa I thought Em got all beefy there for a second. And even tho Snooki is kinda his type, she's just not blonde enuff so it was pretty easy to figure out.

♥ Threadkilla!
We didn't start the Flame War:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1907543
What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
~ Jeph Jacques

Submitted by caprica six on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 11:00am.

ONT: I take back the orange Neanderthal bet; i put the money on orange yoda now taking into account height.

OFT: Paris ain't stressing the charge:
http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2010/08/30/2010-08-30_paris_hilton_not...

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"Fk the Force, Hor!"

Submitted by CORNDOG on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 10:50am.

They deserve eachother and I have no idea who they are. I have just seen their pictures and they should marry and have some fine fug chilrens.
She was adopted from Chile? No excuse, she was a mistake.

Submitted by SakeBomb on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 10:50am.

his quote looks like it came from the journal of an eighth grader. if only this shit could get him a dishonorable discharge (which is what snooki leaks besides fat grease)

Submitted by caprica six on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 10:47am.

@Break, fking lmao

Ain't no effective tard combing-over w/ these two. $10 says their kid's gonna resemble an orange Neanderthal.

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"Fk the Force, Hor!"

Submitted by little_rascal on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 10:46am.

Submitted by The Mad Catter on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 11:18am.

Paris Hilton charged with felony possession!
=========================

WHAT???
Please let it be true!!!

Submitted by TheBreakdown on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 10:42am.

Let's be serious here...

3 apples high Oompa Loompas named Snooki should be lucky something like THIS proposed to her.

Sure, he is suffering from a touch o' tard, but if the baby inherits her penchant for bouffant hairdonts, their combined orange skin, they can comb the baby's hair over the obvious Fetal Alcohol Syndrome symptoms it is more than likely to have: vacant eyes and large cranium.

***************************************
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
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Submitted by darlingjulie on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 10:38am.

Gross

Submitted by little_rascal on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 10:37am.

LOL @ thumb #2. For some inexplicable reason it reminded me of this gem :
http://img1.tvloop.com/img/showpics/42/f5/l33ca7baa0005_1_26877.jpg

Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 10:37am.

I'm not sure, but I think this is one of those free "magazines" that looks like a college newspaper on the inside.

Submitted by WickedCats on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 10:33am.

There goes my lunch.

Submitted by beakers bitch on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 10:20am.

OMG, this is a quote of hers from one of the posts on TMZ. I wonder if she was able to keep a straight face...

Paris is telling friends, "It could be a setup. Everyone knows how against cocaine I am."

Submitted by gina latina on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 10:15am.

if ever there was an argument for forced sterilization...

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Is this real life? Why is this happening to me? Is this gonna be forever?

Submitted by Scheherazade on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 10:15am.

*If convicted of the low-grade felony, she would get probation, but any violation of that probation would be punishable by up to one to four years in Nevada state prison.*

-You know that dimwit isn't gonna stick to the terms of her probation "if" they let her off that easy. With all the priors she has I hope she get's the maximum 4 years!

>.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.<
I have a baseball bat, but I don't play baseball BITCH.

Submitted by carefreea on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 10:15am.

Are they actually going to make the charge stick?

********
"In other news, the University of Color Me Surprised released a report today which states that water is indeed wet. Mind. Boggled" - Michael K, who else?

Submitted by oggie168 on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 10:13am.

A tear runneth down my cheek after witnessing such a romantic gesture on a under-rated literary gem. Steppin Out can be found on the restroom floors of some of the finest rest stops on the New Jersey Turnpike. In fact Ms. Snooki has probably used it several times to protect her knees. I wish you kids the best of luck.

Submitted by The Mad Catter on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 10:11am.

"We're told the D.A. will file the case today. You can read the criminal complaint that will be filed in this post.

According to the police report, obtained by TMZ, the cop who stopped the Escalade pulled along the passenger side of the vehicle and smelled "the strong odor of marijuana coming from the vehicle."

The cop writes he noticed immediately the passenger was Paris. He then observed her trying to roll up the window.

After the traffic stop and a crowd of 100 people gathered around, Hilton said she was "extremely embarrassed" and asked the cop if she could go to the bathroom at the Wynn Hotel.

At the hotel, Paris told the cop she needed lip balm so the cop handed Paris her purse: "As she began to open it, I saw a small bindle of what I believed to be cocaine in a clear baggie begin to fall from the purse and into my hand."

The cop also says ... inside the purse was a "broken tablet of Albuterol" -- a prescription medication used to control wheezing. And cops say they found Zig Zag wrappers ... commonly used to roll joints.

Paris then admitted the Albuterol was hers but she said the cocaine was not and claimed the purse was not hers -- that she had borrowed it from a friend. The cop questioned Paris about the cocaine and according to cops Paris gave an odd answer: "She said she had not seen it, but now thought it was gum."

Note: Paris has changed her story with friends, saying the purse was hers but had been in the possession of a friend. Paris claimed to cops several cosmetic items in the purse were not hers, but she copped to $1,300 cash and some credit cards.

Cops say they found .8 grams of coke in the purse."

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19 Cats and Counting!

THE FULL RELEASE LOOP

What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764
The sound of the BR

Submitted by beakers bitch on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 10:09am.

Submitted by Scheherazade on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 11:31am.
Anyone convicted of anykind of drug related felony in Nevada is doing at least a year behind bars!

Wow! TMZ was making it out like, "it was such a small amount, she'll only get probation". TMZ is sometimes up certain people's asses and I think it was that site that posting things like, "Paris' BAC was right at .08, so the DUI isn't even that bad because she was right at the level and not over".

Submitted by The Mad Catter on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 10:09am.

Submitted by Scheherazade on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 11:31am.

Oh god...you have no idea how good it felt to read that...WONKS SPENDING A YEAR BEHIND BARS??? Could the world be any more beautiful??

We can't get our hopes up...does Vegas have an "overcrowding" problem in their prisons? There has to be a million ways for the whore to get out of punishment.

--------------------------------------

19 Cats and Counting!

THE FULL RELEASE LOOP

What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764
The sound of the BR

Submitted by Pamela on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 10:09am.

Methinks the lady doth protest too much

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Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm

damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!

Submitted by A.cotw on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 10:05am.

Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 11:27am.
As Shannen Doherty Heather said at Kim Heather's funeral:"Lord,now I know you understood me all along. Hallelujah,praise Jesus."
Happy Monday ,hot hussies & harlots. Our prom is coming up.

Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 10:04am.

Scheherazade !!!!
FOR REAL!?!?!?!?! OMG OMG
*dances around office shaking naglas and tatas*

****************************
►I'm a free bitch, baby◄
"Give me a red velvet with a heaping sprinkling of FUCK on top!" MK

Submitted by Erika_Leigh on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 10:03am.

he obviously watched willy wonka too much as a kid and developed an oompa loompa fetish.

Submitted by Scheherazade on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 10:01am.

Submitted by beakers bitch on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 11:29am.

Submitted by The Mad Catter on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 11:18am.
Paris Hilton charged with felony possession!

Wow, I totally thought her money and connections were going to buy her out of this. If it's a felony will she still just get probation like they thought she would?
```

Anyone convicted of anykind of drug related felony in Nevada is doing at least a year behind bars!

>.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.<
I have a baseball bat, but I don't play baseball BITCH.

Submitted by Scheherazade on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 10:00am.

Mmm, he's sexy! Snooki little shapeless, oompa loompa ass is lucky!

And Paris was charged with a felony?!?! WOOHOO, there is justice in the world. Shes too old to still being doing all that sh*t she used to do a couple years ago, sh*ts not cute and she's not that famous, sh*ts finally catching up to her.

>.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.< >.<
I have a baseball bat, but I don't play baseball BITCH.

Submitted by caprica six on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 10:00am.

@Snowpiece thx,
just now saw that you posted that a bit earlier (when at office I don't have the extra time to scroll back ugh) Booyakkaaaaaaaa! How long does Paris have to surrender herself??! Cause i'm taking a sick day for that media blitzkreig.

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"Fk the Force, Hor!"

Submitted by beakers bitch on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 9:59am.

Submitted by The Mad Catter on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 11:18am.
Paris Hilton charged with felony possession!

Wow, I totally thought her money and connections were going to buy her out of this. If it's a felony will she still just get probation like they thought she would?

Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 9:57am.

it's on tmz:

http://www.tmz.com/2010/08/30/paris-hilton-arrested-cocaine-las-vegas-po...

****************************
►I'm a free bitch, baby◄
"Give me a red velvet with a heaping sprinkling of FUCK on top!" MK

Submitted by caprica six on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 9:55am.

Submitted by The Mad Catter on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 11:18am.

Paris Hilton charged with felony possession!
________________________________

Don't play with us!! Where is that being reported so far? holyshit this is JUICY!!! For a Monday too!

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"Fk the Force, Hor!"

Submitted by Richiegay on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 9:55am.

I actually love Snooki. This guy is just a famewhore. Snoooki has paid her dues(embarrassed herself publicly, privately, and on film numerous times)and deserves better than this alleged woman beater. And a nice fresh 'Half Sour' pickle from Katz's Deli.

Nail me to my car... then I'll tell you who you are...Joe The Lion

Submitted by carefreea on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 9:54am.

Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 08/30/2010 - 11:04am.

~~~

Hehe, bad girl.

I genuinely didn't know that. Just assumed if they're all guidos and guidettes then she'd be Italian. I feel liked I've been ripped off :(

Actually, only know about any of them because of this place.

********
"In other news, the University of Color Me Surprised released a report today which states that water is indeed wet. Mind. Boggled" - Michael K, who else?