About Brian Williams' Peen Situation....
I'm going to keep this short unlike Brian Williams' peen. Basically, the man who gives you the news every night on NBC has a big dick. Dick so big that he could give the NBC peacock a concussion just by whipping that shit out. Dick so big that they have to put bricks under his anchor desk to elevate it and make room for his gigantic bulge. Dick so big that most bitches refer to it as Cockefeller Center. HD dick. You get the picture.
Brian Williams talked to Andrew Goldman for Elle Magazine about all sorts of shit and they eventually touched on the topic closest to every rich preppie's Brooks Brothers-covered heart: KHAKIS! Brian said that he can only wears pleated khakis, which led Andrew to put 2 inches and 2 inches and 2 inches and 2 inches and 2 inches together:
ELLE: Your daughter Allison recently graduated from Yale. What have you done that has most mortified her?
BW: There’s no question that I have an inner Clark W. Griswold. So I have a deal with my wife and two kids that when my shorts move out of the mainstream, or when I wear any pants product that can be construed as a “man jean,” I am to be told. You notice how pleated khakis have become a huge social divider? You see the fashion-forwards going to a plain front, and then you see the pleated community seemingly unaware of this trend change.
ELLE: You still see a lot of pleats in Washington.
BW: DC sometimes lags. Obama’s still rocking the pleated pants.
ELLE: I actually have a close friend in DC who still wears pleats. His wife confessed to my wife that he couldn’t move to flat fronts because his penis was just too large.
BW: Well, I’m with him. It’s a huge issue. Kidding!
Brian Williams is a serious journalist so he should know very well that you should never EVER say the word "kidding" when it comes to peen size. That's a law. But I do like where this is going. We should all know the dick size of every news dude on TV. You know what that means? The penis ruler is in your court, Mah Boo Anderson Cooper. I'll hold the towel up.
via New York Observer (Thanks John H.)