Burning Rubber In More Ways Than One
When Officer Ross Gilbert pulled over a car in Ohio for illegally tinted windows, the last thing he expected to see was the driver committing a DWJ (Drive While Jacking) but that's exactly what he found. Officer Ross tells Cincinnati.com that he got an eye full of Colondra Hamilton sitting with her pants unzipped and a sex toy on her crotch. Since Colondra didn't even bother trying to hide the mobile fuck party going on in her lap, I'm going to guess that she also threw him a "Come on in, motherfucker" look when he strolled on up to her window. A bitch who bones herself while driving is ready for anything.
Colondra wasn't alone in the car, and admitted to Officer Ross that while she put her pussy to the metal (or silicone, in this case), her passenger held up a laptop with a porn playing on it so she could get a good look. Once Officer Ross finished screaming WTF on a loop in his head, he charged her with "driving with inappropriate alertness" and for having tinted windows. Oh, and Officer Ross also found a crack pipe in the car, but you probably already guessed that some type of the bad shit must have been involved in this mess.
The thing that really gets me is that this horny ho wasn't pulled over for driving all sorts of crooked. She was pulled over for having tinted windows! Bitch had one hand on the wheel, one hand on the stick shift in her snatch and one eye on the road with the other eye on a porn! This is the art of multi-tasking right here! She's like a one woman BANG BUS! I don't know whether to take notes or alert the city of London, because this is definitely going to give George Michael ideas.
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Bravo "ghettoprincess", for the articulate way you dealt with the nonsensical comments made by "agirl".
Some things should be done in the privacy of your own home.
"You thought I was a doughnut and tried to glaze me"
Submitted by Bjork You on Thu, 08/26/2010 - 1:13pm.
Anyway, "normal" is a loaded word, and if it wasn't for Colondra (or Laterion or Muffy or Apple or Febreeze [okay, I made that last one up]), the world would be a sadder place. I think.
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Trudis.
♥ Threadkilla!
We didn't start the Flame War:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1907543
What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
~ Jeph Jacques
@ghettoprincess - your post makes no sense. You are claiming and defending...ignorance, as a *culture*, as YOUR culture? And you are doing it reluctantly, or against your will? That would be like all Italians, or Italian-Americans, feeling as if they had to identify with and defend the "guidos" and "guidettes" of the Jersey Shore. Why not just think to yourself, "These ignorant fools do not represent me?"
RE: "by no choice of our own": these people have the choice to give their child a normal name, or to make something up, that is a choice. And you have the choice to say "I am one of them", or not; that is YOUR choice.
And the drug use and breaking the law, is that part of this culture too? And are you standing up for that as well? Or is Colondra a part of your "culture" in her made-up name but not in her drug use and criminal behavior?
That is all.
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On everything I love, I actually want you to read this with an open mind.
In no way am I saying drug use and breaking the law is part of my culture. To me that's a stereotype that's spun differently for all kind of varying cultures. Italians and Mafia, Mexicans and gangs, Irish and drunks, Rednecks and meth, etc.
"That would be like all Italians, or Italian-Americans, feeling as if they had to identify with and defend the "guidos" and "guidettes" of the Jersey Shore."
That is pretty much the exact sentiment I was feeling. I could so understand if an Italian was really embarrassed about guidos but still felt a pang when non-Italians talked shit about them.
"And you have the choice to say "I am one of them", or not; that is YOUR choice."
Naw, I don't have that choice. You're Italian whether you wish guidos would stop the bs. You're Mexican even when you would rather MS13s stopped chopping folks up. I'm a black American not by choice.
"these people have the choice to give their child a normal name"
This is really my quip and maybe I'm just being sensitive. What's a normal name? The names we (Shaniquas and Colondras)would have had are totally different from what they would have been before our families were carted off to America. We were given names that were "normal" to our masters. Italians have traditionally "normal" names, Irish have traditionally "normal" names, Russians have traditionally "normal" names (some of my personal favorite). We didn't have traditionally normal names so we made shit up. I'm not defensive about everything about black culture but the made up name thing is really a touchy thing for me. Maybe it's cause I have one of those names.
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What the fuck is a "normal" name? And ghettogirl's post is clear (and better written than yours).
I believe that she wrote that she's not defending this crackie.
We don't accept the Lohans and others whom M.K. writes about, but we know who they are, for better or for worse. While we moan and groan at and curse them, we help create them. (Like Freddy Krueger who fed off of teenagers' fears, these folks feed off of our attention, whether it's positive or not.)
Anyway, "normal" is a loaded word, and if it wasn't for Colondra (or Laterion or Muffy or Apple or Febreeze [okay, I made that last one up]), the world would be a sadder place. I think.
@ghettoprincess - your post makes no sense. You are claiming and defending...ignorance, as a *culture*, as YOUR culture? And you are doing it reluctantly, or against your will? That would be like all Italians, or Italian-Americans, feeling as if they had to identify with and defend the "guidos" and "guidettes" of the Jersey Shore. Why not just think to yourself, "These ignorant fools do not represent me?"
RE: "by no choice of our own": these people have the choice to give their child a normal name, or to make something up, that is a choice. And you have the choice to say "I am one of them", or not; that is YOUR choice.
And the drug use and breaking the law, is that part of this culture too? And are you standing up for that as well? Or is Colondra a part of your "culture" in her made-up name but not in her drug use and criminal behavior?
That is all.
O yeah! I read this at some ungodly hour right before I went to sleep. Pure gold. So funny. I giggled till I passed out.
♥ Threadkilla!
We didn't start the Flame War:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1907543
What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
~ Jeph Jacques
Submitted by agirl on Thu, 08/26/2010 - 11:06am.
Colondra? Another dumbass wif a made-up name. She sounds like she should be involved in some semi-celebrity cheating scandal. We need to know the name of her helpful car companion! I'll bet it is something like "Siohvaughn" or "Antwaun" or "Tayshaun" or "Shaniqua" or "Tawanda".
And looking at her, I am shocked that drugs were involved. SHOCKED. I wonder what it is like to live one's life as a bad stereotype.
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The same way other people take up for their nationality/heritage/culture even amidst admittedly backwards shit, I am forced to give you the finger. By no choice of our own we're creating our own culture which includes names. In no way am I taking up for this random crackhead but those names are more than a stereotype. Oh, and my cousin Tawanda said "deeese nuts".
Disclaimer: I don't actually have a problem with people poking fun at ghetto names. It's just that I've come to a point where I have no choice but to accept my culture (as new as it is with its hip hop and made up names) and stand up for it.
Colondra? Another dumbass wif a made-up name. She sounds like she should be involved in some semi-celebrity cheating scandal. We need to know the name of her helpful car companion! I'll bet it is something like "Siohvaughn" or "Antwaun" or "Tayshaun" or "Shaniqua" or "Tawanda".
And looking at her, I am shocked that drugs were involved. SHOCKED. I wonder what it is like to live one's life as a bad stereotype.
I truly LOVE that picture.
Also: RHONYC, I like your avie. Yes, Ms. 45 needs to make an appearance on that show. Imagine if she'd been on that trip with Kelly, Ramona, et al.
I honestly cannot figure out how people can drive while rubbing one out.
Driving takes concentration, rubbing one out takes ALL of your concentration....
*confused*
psychogranny
Gotta' love livin' in the 'Nati!
I am so upset that I actually have a cousin named Colondra (my people, gotta love em). But I'm so happy this aint her.
Is this real? Oh my days, unbelievably funny.
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"In other news, the University of Color Me Surprised released a report today which states that water is indeed wet. Mind. Boggled" - Michael K, who else?
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Why the hell do you think she has tinted windows copper. Gah! Twat blocker.
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This is why we can't have nice things!
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-Hat 04/27/2010
Jill, he didn't have to handcuff her. She just got a ticket.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Hope to high heavens he was wearing rubber gloves when he handcuffed her.
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her face is like "and what fool"
I fuckin hate when this happens.
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I'd like to flay you with my rapier wit, but I'm afraid it's about as dull as fucking your mother.
Colon-dra.
*giggles*
http://yesteryearsthoughts.blogspot.com/
Submitted by Pamela on Thu, 08/26/2010 - 2:53am.
No freaking idea, but I used to work there and it attracted a lot of uh...interesting customers.
I had this other customer come into the store and buy condoms. No big deal, right? Well, as soon as he paid, he ripped the box apart, reached down into his pants, and started putting one on, IN THE STORE.
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R.I.P Ronnie James Dio :(
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8GsmcWjT6c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rt3gYfEGChs&feature=related
Submitted by Khensu Hetep on Thu, 08/26/2010 - 2:50am.
You have to wonder what is wrong with people? And why the hell in the Kmart parking lot of all places?
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Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm
damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!
LMAO, it was like watching a trainwreck but I had to be subtle about it. I didn't want him to notice that I had been looking.
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R.I.P Ronnie James Dio :(
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8GsmcWjT6c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rt3gYfEGChs&feature=related
Submitted by Khensu Hetep on Thu, 08/26/2010 - 2:43am.
AHHHHHHH I would have ran screaming into the night!!!
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Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm
damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!
I guess props to her for being honest, but how embarassing!
I saw an older guy masturbating in a K-Mart parking lot. He was ass naked from what I could tell.
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R.I.P Ronnie James Dio :(
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8GsmcWjT6c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rt3gYfEGChs&feature=related
Submitted by Khensu Hetep on Thu, 08/26/2010 - 2:28am.
I hope this won't be me someday.
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LMFAO yeah this is defiantly NOT what I aspire to be! :P
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Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm
damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!
That expression says it all! "mmmmhmmm thats right I was getting mine, what!"
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Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm
damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!
Submitted by Deb on Wed, 08/25/2010 - 8:18pm.
Oh, I hate Burgah King.
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R.I.P Ronnie James Dio :(
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8GsmcWjT6c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rt3gYfEGChs&feature=related
I hope this won't be me someday.
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R.I.P Ronnie James Dio :(
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8GsmcWjT6c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rt3gYfEGChs&feature=related
Fish don't do those kind of things(play with themselves in public).
This is NOT a fish, this is a SISTER!
Reading her name gives me the urge to drain spaghetti.
yo!
whitney's gonna be mad as cheese when she finds out her hook-up is on lock down.
With a name like Colondra, did you really expect this cracktress to wait until she got back to her section 8 apartment?!
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Homegirl should have waited until she got home...
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"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." - Brit's Tits
I'm not a big fan of the cops, but whomever had to take possession of and bag that vibrator, I feel for you.
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“Change in a trice. The lilies and languors of virtue. For the raptures and roses of vice;”
Can't she wait til she gets home?
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BRING BACK the old, glamorous Hollywood!!!
Kelis is lookin rough.
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Please get the fuck out ---->
Wait....who the FUCK names a child COLONDRA?
Poor lamb never had a chance.
this crack trick is an awesome multi-tasker...she just moved into a top position on my hero list too...
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sit your $5 ass down before i make change...
*puts the hatchback in reverse and drives back to ohio*
*remembers beautiful gambier, ohio*
*kisses everyone goodnight*
Ahahaha!! Ghet. TO. And I love it! "Grab the wheel, wouldya?" *swoon*
SMUG SHOT
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POOP (nourish the inner asshole)- MK
ol' Colon-blow has this indignant look like...."and y'all bettah give me back my vibrator when i gets out! i'm a citizen, i knows my rights!!!"
In fact, I don't even want to know. About any of it. Thanks anyway.
I can't.
She had one hand on the wheel, the other hand in her snatch, one eye on the road, and the other eye watching porn; WAS THIS WRONG? It would have been wrong if she was texting, but I don't think Oprah has a rule against masturbating and watching porn while driving.
Quality. Love the facial expression in the mug shot.
"I've had spots on my butt forever - it's a leopard booty."- Chippy D