Miss Philippines Sort Of Messed Up Last Night
Apparently, Miss Philippines was one of the favorites to take home the crown (made from Donald Trump's taint dingles) at last night's Miss Universe pageant, but then she pretty much fucked her chances in the ass during the Q&A part of the competition.
Mister Chyna Phillips himself Billy Baldwin asked Maria Venus Raj (FYI: That's a really hot name) what one of her biggest mistakes in life was and how she fixed it. If Billy asked her that question again today, she'd probably say that the biggest mistake in her life is the answer she gave last night. Because last night, Maria Venus said that she's never had any major problems and then she babbled on like me in front of a McDonald's menu at 3am.
To be fair, if I was standing up there with my hair so tight that it was making my nipples sore (I don't know what that means either!) and enough make-up on my face to cover a Kardashian for a week, I'd probably give some shit answer to. It also doesn't help when Billy Baldwin is staring at you like you're doing yourself in the bath tub while a UB40 song plays in the background.
AND how was Maria Venus supposed to hear anything when the screech of a thousand gays from her home country filled her ear holes with glitter and made her nerves tingle! This is what I'm talking about (skip to the 2:25 mark):
DAMN! Now I finally know what the inside of my head looks like whenever I see a peen in the flesh instead of on a computer screen. Give us all a Q-tip!
via Boy Culture
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Not very pretty or very smart. What the heck is Bart doing hosting? That trick would host the opening of a sewer treatment plant if he thought it would keep him in the spotlight.
This is the funniest damn video! A Filipino friend of mine here at work (he's ver flamboyant) was watching this. I kept hearing these screams and saw my friend smiling and went into his office, to see him watching this. he said that he and his Filipino friends watched the "Miss Universe" pagent the night before and were pretty much just like these guys! Too funny! Love the part at about 1;41, where the guy who had picked his nose, does something with his hands and flips his hair back really quickly. Don't know what that was about, but the whole thing was hilarious!
BRET!!!!!!
and OMG that ghey was picking his nose so bad I thought he must be jerking off in the shower!
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►I'm a free bitch, baby◄
"Give me a red velvet with a heaping sprinkling of FUCK on top!" MK
sorrrry she is soo ugly is that why filipino men are all gay cuz their women look like men. with her square ass face
How can a question be "wonderful"?
Submitted by caprica six on Tue, 08/24/2010 - 7:39pm.
@mike on Tue, 08/24/2010 - 7:25pm
OLLOLLO, Right?!!
@Angel,
saw the 'flamewar collegehumor' clip before i left for vacay, and i been meaning to say LMAFO!! at it. That 'flamewar' clip gets better as it picks up and nears the middle to the end!!! Thx for that!
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LOL!
Why are you guys so racist?
Why are you guys so racist?
LOL!
♥ Threadkilla!
We didn't start the Flame War:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1907543
What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
~ Jeph Jacques
now imagine the noise they make when they have an orgasm.
My cousin called me to say, are you watching Miss Universe. My response,"what are you kidding me, only gay men watch this!".
BOY WAS I RIGHT!!
My tenant who is gay lights hosts a night of party and extravaganza to watch this pile of hot mess!!
Boy, looks like all the girls where on a dumb roll. Miss Dominican Republic also came out with something so self-centered also!! My cousin told me she got blown out of the water right away. What happened to humility?
Jesus? Dominican Republic is a third world country still and you chat about how beautiful you are?
Go to hell bitch. If I lose the 50 pounds on Aktins this year...I"M IN RESPRESENTING THE DOMINICAN BABY!!
(you know that shit isn't ever going to happen right?)
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Honestly... what did she say that was so bad?
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I Love You More
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MK where do you get this shit?
I mean the philipino gay screeching video?
Hysterically funny.
You are the King, or shall I say Queen, of internet fuckery.
All hail MK.
Hilarious!
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Giving you the side eye....bitch!
@CeeCee:
No, she said "I can say..."
Those FiliQueens were waaay over the top. Hilarious.
It may be because all Dutch a rude assholes, but doesn't that "well sir, yes sir, no sir" thing annoy the hell out of you?
P.S.: Thanks to the gay for making my day!
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Did she just say, "In my 22 years of existence, IDK..." IDK?! For real? I bet she's the kind that walks around saying, "OMG. LOL."
LMAO!!!
These guys deserve their own TV show. The Real Queens of Manila or something.
miss jamaica was robbed!!!!!!!!!!!!! bloodclat mon!!
You realize she could have said ANYTHING, and it would have been a better answer...
I shouldn't have taken my parents advice for granted...
I shouldn't have worn this dress...
I shouldn't have cheated on my algebra test...
I shouldn't have eaten the bean dip...
I shouldn't have swallowed...
Seriously...
@mike on Tue, 08/24/2010 - 7:25pm
OLLOLLO, Right?!!
@Angel,
saw the 'flamewar collegehumor' clip before i left for vacay, and i been meaning to say LMAFO!! at it. That 'flamewar' clip gets better as it picks up and nears the middle to the end!!! Thx for that!
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TEMPORARY TITLE vs. 500 Server Error - Ultimate Cagefight!
OMG! That was pure damn comedy fo sho!!!!
Haha! My friend is TOTALLY the guy in the back right. I have to show him this. He will DIE. D. I. E.
♥ Threadkilla!
We didn't start the Flame War:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1907543
What's the point of havin' a rapier wit if I can't use it to stab people?
~ Jeph Jacques
Re: the vid of the guys on the bed
When did Perez Hilton go back to his natural hair color and why did those boys make him sit in the back?
OMG, all week I am going to imagine those four boys freaking out and jumping up and down and thanking the lord every time I do anything. Invisible cheerleading section!
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Have an open mind - but not so open that your brain falls out.
WHAT? This was awesome. Seriously. I've never seen that many gays having so much fun at a slumber party. I love it.
I'm trying to be all stealth-like on Dlisted but just laughed so loud everyone came to see what I was doing. Thanks, MK!
by parkerj on Tue, 08/24/2010 - 6:53pm.
Their reactions are the best! I wanted to join in and hug all of them. And I want to check out what Miss Ireland and Miss Russia looked like.
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For damn real! I saw this earlier and remarked on how hilarious they are. I too wanted to join in as me and my buds can get like this over some TV shit lmao, I love it.
All them miss universe bitches be gorge. Surprised venez and usa were not in the final 15, as per these guys. *tiptoes out of thread to check out miss universe site to see final contestants* I'll put a link here if I find it.
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TEMPORARY TITLE vs. 500 Server Error - Ultimate Cagefight!
Their reactions are the best! I wanted to join in and hug all of them. And I want to check out what Miss Ireland and Miss Russia looked like.
Hmm and I guess these are the people still watch Beauty pageants these days?
Where are the male beauty pageants in this day and age? I want to see a tight construction worker sing for his supper in a thong
Well, at least the 4 queens won their crowns today. Best queenie reactions, like evah!
Submitted by LaChaylo on Tue, 08/24/2010 - 4:43pm.
Of all the lame categories in this pageant, the Q&A part is the worst. How can anyone not be awkward? It's about who can bullshit the best on the spot while sporting your day-glo teefs.
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Pretty much like every job interview that exists (with the day glo teefs being optional)...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I am SO glad I went back and watched those four fluffies in their jammies humping and jumping over Miss Philapines....
Damn! Made my whole day!!! Never laughed so hard in my life!!!!....
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It sounds like I'll need to be drunk, stoned and suffering from a minor concussion to deal with this fuckery. MK - November 2008
Who was the female co-host? What a fakey fake with huh comment at the end, "Nice job!" I espected huh to say something like, "Lookey heah ho, you jus fucked yo self out o that crown. You should have made up shitz about how you sold yo poon to feed yo family and how you still made it to this ho contest." You know, a bitch should always keep it real like that with another ho.
Go Miss Mexico!
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.
I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."
I don't watch pageants, but I would if I could hang with these guys.
That was a damn lose/lose question, there wasn't a right way to answer it.
On a job application, online, I was once asked "have you ever told a lie?" WTF, the only choices were yes or no. I think i said no...lie!
Well, to be fair, I don't know how I would have answered that question. It's like those idiotic job interview questions.
(One of these days I'm going to tell the truth and say "You know, I really don't like being a team player because I wind up doing all the hard work and then some asshole waltzes in and takes all the credit.")
Miss Philippines was obviously nervous, so she should have requested to speak in her mother tongue:
ho
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Well Honey, I'm glad you're there, too. Shout!
I'd like to share some advice I received years ago from my pilipina stepmother and her sisters...
"If you ever get held up for your money, offer for sex instead because you might be enjoy it"
Okey-dokey right-e-o then...
Don't tell anyone, but in mah house we refer to them as the Ferengi (um, y'know Star Trek).
Oh the fabulosity!
Oops double post sowwy.
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"Fucking magnets, how do they work?" - the dipshit musings from ICP
At first I thought that female host was a blond Sandra Bernhard.
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"Fucking magnets, how do they work?" - the dipshit musings from ICP
Homegirl and this guy would make a perfect (pun intended) match.
The filipina candidates should practice all types of questions being thrown at them! They should know this by now.
Get to anticipate all sort of questions!
The latinas do it; and have been doing it for decades!
Back in the day, it used to be peace in the world. Then came the nips and tucks, and botox. And the walk similar to a hooker.
And the Donald picking the semi-finalists, despite what we're told by the media.
she has a natrual beauty, WTF is up with coating her with the tammey faye baker makeup??
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Never wear anything that panics the cat.
P. J. O'Rourke
I HAVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG. I DO NOT MAKE MISTAKES. I LOVE YOU LAS VEGAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSS WOOOO!!!!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Is there a branch of South Carolina in the Philippines?
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Is this real life? Why is this happening to me? Is this gonna be forever?
The fat mary is never gonna get laid with his belly hanging out of his t-shirt like that. Though it would have ben funny if Boogers had wiped his nose vomit on the underside of Jumbo's gunt.
You make me hate my hips! I hate my hips!
I am pretty much that fat dude on the far left corner...not giving a shit until the good part.
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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
Submitted by LaChaylo on Tue, 08/24/2010 - 4:43pm.
Of all the lame categories in this pageant, the Q&A part is the worst. How can anyone not be awkward? It's about who can bullshit the best on the spot while sporting your day-glo teefs.
WORD!
---Jennifer Hawkins (aussie ms unifuck) - Q: if you could choose, what era would you live in and why? A: Toodoy, because women can do anything they want toodoy.
And what was the dumb bint choosing to do in a world where women can (according to her) do anything? Bikini comps at the local footy club.
Submitted by mike on Tue, 08/24/2010 - 5:00pm.
Seriously, they expect anything but a phony answer? The whole thing's a celebration of vulgar superficiality.
I'd have loved it had she said:
Mistake: "Got knocked up when I was fifteen"
Solution: "Got an abortion"
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Oh shit, too funny! She'd get my vote!
Now really, the only surprising thing about beauty pageants is that it's fucking 2010 and they still exist.
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Pray to God, fine; but keep rowing to shore.