Billion Dollar Memaw
The Sun is reporting that Baby Jesus' favorite burp nurse Madge has been offered 1 billion fucking dollars to pop her pussy and bust her biceps in a Las Vegas show for five long years. ONE BILLION DOLLARS. Somebody at The Sun must have been sniffing Wite-Out way too fast again, because there's way too many zeroes in that number. $1 billion for a dinner theater floor show starring Keyboard Cat, La Toya Jackson, Antoine Dodson and La Tigresa del Oriente, YES! $1 billion for a show starring Madge, NO.
The Sun's sources says Madge is thinking about possibly accepting the $1 billion deal. But LVRJ's Norm McDonald says there's no way she was offered $1 billion. A Las Vegas entertainment agent says that in order for her to make $750 million a year, the average ticket price for her show would have to be $200 and she'd have to do 5 shows a week for 50 weeks. The agent added, "That's impossible. She's not going to work 50 weeks."
Celine Dion recently signed a new 3 year deal with Caesars Palace worth $100 million and she only has to do 70 shows a year.
Norm McDonald also dug up a Madge quote from a few years ago when she was asked if she would ever do a sit-down in Las Vegas. At the time she said, "That's insane. I hate Las Vegas. I couldn't bear it for five minutes."
This is true. That heat would instantly melt the silicone cutlets in Madge's face. Bitch would have to travel around in one of those air-conditioned True Blood coffins. Actually, I think she already does. AND how is she going perform her midnight beauty ritual of slathering her entire body with blood from a virgin's inaugural menstrual cycle when there aren't any virgins in Las Vegas! Poor Baby Jesus would have to crawl deep into the desert to find one. Yeah, this isn't happening.
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Actually, I often poke fun at men who try too hard to relive their youth too. Hugh Hefner and George Clooney are quite open season with me.
Is that the only defense everyone has for Vadge?
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R.I.P Ronnie James Dio :(
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8GsmcWjT6c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rt3gYfEGChs&feature=related
Madonna's too intelligent to play the shit-hole that is vegas. It would taint her legacy as a trailblazer and pop icon. It's so funny how everyone here talks shit about her looks/body/age. It's so fucking Republican in here, you can cut the sexism with a knife. Let's just put her in a nursing home and hand her a set of knitting needles. idiots.
Kelly Taylor: Well we all have our crosses to bear.
Brenda Walsh: Or our legs to uncross.
-----episode 3.14 "Wild Horses," Beverly Hills 90210
Madonna go away. No one in their right mind would offer you 5 cents to flash your old cooter and saggy tits.
This reminds me of one thing Vadge does that a lot of other pop stars do that annoy me, and that's exploiting her fanbase...especially the gays.
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R.I.P Ronnie James Dio :(
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8GsmcWjT6c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rt3gYfEGChs&feature=related
she can't be more annoying or less relevant if she tried. give it up hun, even your gay fan base doesn't want to see your decrepit ass, trying to gyrate your way through "Like A Virgin" anymore.
We have your cds, that's good enough.
I really wish she'd just go away. I'm sick of seeing her veiny body and hearing her faux accent. you're rich, fade away gracefully or just go away.
Ladies you would never catch me running around in sequins after 3am… it’s just not cute. If you choose to be out that late please be responsible and at least look fresh, not like you have been to the party already. After hours has an outfit and it’s not sequins or drugs.
I would go see it. But first I have to see MJ's Cirque Du Soleil show:
http://promo-www.cirquedusoleil.com/michael-jackson/en/index.html
She might have rock hard biceps, but look closely...she still has flabby bat-wings that all of the mee-maws at bingo have! It's inevitable, it happens to all of us older ladies like Madge!
Pelvic thrusts until her hips disintegrate into dust.
Her latest tour sucked, it was like watching a tired, old aerobics teacher gallop around stage in the ugliest attire I have ever seen. Fortunately I didn't have to pay for the show.
This busted old hag hasn't had a real hit in over 10 years (I don't count the awful duet with Timberflake). Time to hang up the cone bra Granny.
If Madonna wasn't famous, her going rate in Vegas right now would be about $50 an hour, but her customers would only get to cum once...
Uh...who exactly is going to actually buy tickets for this snow? Last I heard, the economy was tahking, and Vegas was in the shitter right along with everywhere else in America.
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Now, cryin' won't help you, prayin' won't do you no good,
When the levee breaks, mama, you got to move.
Submitted by Manimal5 on Sat, 08/21/2010 - 9:07pm.
She already looks like something at one of those "Bodies" exhibits. I don't even know if I can visualize how she'd look exhausted.
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R.I.P Ronnie James Dio :(
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8GsmcWjT6c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rt3gYfEGChs&feature=related
Madonna could even retire if she wanted to. She's made so much money, though over the past decade has yet to record a radio hit anywhere NEAR as successful as anything she released in the 80s and part of the 90s, not counting the only songs *I've* heard from her that featured acts who are currently popular.
Nonetheless people will pay an arm and a leg to watch the old wench perform because Vadge is proof that if your ego is large enough, you can apparently convince so many people that you are so much greater than in reality. It works for so many people.
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R.I.P Ronnie James Dio :(
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8GsmcWjT6c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rt3gYfEGChs&feature=related
eat your fucking heart out beyonce!
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Beyonce is just as much ghetto trash as her sister, she just knows how to hide it better.
Barbado Slim 2008
Submitted by Dgrin on Sat, 08/21/2010 - 1:47pm.
She'll live forever, probably. Not that I actually *want* her to die, but you know good die young and all that...
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R.I.P Ronnie James Dio :(
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8GsmcWjT6c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rt3gYfEGChs&feature=related
The whole experience would be exhausting and therefore detrimental to her already withering looks. There would simply not be enough virgins to refill her blood supply. I therefore call BS on this item.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Sat, 08/21/2010 - 2:35pm.
Maybe it's because I am blonde, or maybe because I am slightly hungover...but there is some bad math in there, right? If she gets $1 billion for 5 years, why are we trying to determine how to get her $750 million a year? Isn't $1 billion divided by 5, $200 million? Or would she have to bring in $750 million in order to get her $200 million? Ow, my brain.
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I was confused, too, so I went to the link.
My source did some quick math: If Madonna landed in the 4,300-seat Colosseum at Caesars Palace, the most likely suitor, she would have to average $200 a ticket, net $3 million a week and work four or five nights for 50 weeks to make $750 million over five years.
I agree there's no way Madonna is gonna perform 5 times a week for 50 weeks out of the year. She probably needs a minimum of 12 weeks off every year to recovery from her awful plastic surgeries.
My first thought was working 5 days a week for 50 weeks a year is really hard, I almost had sympathy for her. Then I realized we all already do that already, and maybe not even get the two weeks off for a miniscule percentage of that. I don't care if this story isn't true, no one deserves that much money, especially for what she does. UGH.
In other words, I think of all the things I would do for that money and it is scary.
Ricki Lake, you are one hot bitch tonight.
You are so hot, let's get crazy, do some coke
-Pat O'Brien
Here's what I am going to do, I am going to read up on how to be a Buddhist, and I am gonna pray to Buddha that he is going to reincarnate me so when I kill myself I can come back and be cool as
fuck like you.
A billion? This almost has the Wynn air of douchery about it, but I don't think he's that stupid. Then again, he spent lots of money on Garth Brooks.
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Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie, or are you you gonna bite?
After 50 weeks the only thing left of Madonna would veins and bones...not a good look.
Why would she even consider that offer? She has enough money and I don't think she'd give up her freedom to do a horrible grind in Vegas, of all places. Those shows are a lot of work and you don't get weekends off and shit. They own you.
If they offered ME a billion dollars, I'd do it in a heartbeat, but I don't know... She's not desperate.
I really wish she'd just go away. I'm sick of seeing her veiny body and hearing her faux accent. you're rich, fade away gracefully or just go away.
Time to get "Vadge" out of retirement MK. I snicker everytime I read "Vadge". "Madge" is just too blah of nickname. I may have to start an epetition. BRING BACK VADGE!
"When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better." ~Mae West
If people were paying that much to see her consistently 50 weeks a year, I would personally be waiting outside in the parking lot to beat these fools with a fitted baseball bat!
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Submitted by Mr. Mercury on Sat, 08/21/2010 - 5:41pm.
Don't believe everything you read. It's not in the best interest of any news outlet here to say negative things but anyone here can tell you the place is turning into a ghost town.
Mr M - Your sentence above pretty much summarizes the United States right now. I live outside Chicago and we've been watching the migration of manufacturing jobs for the past 20+ years. The majority of the men in my family and community were involved in the trades - carpenters, painters, electricians, bricklayers etc. Those jobs are GONE and are never coming back. I know more families surviving on the wive's wages then the husbands'. It's taking a horrible toll on families.
ETA: Vegas stands a much better chance of coming back then the construction industry in Chicago.
_______________________________
I smell bananas! Am I back? what's in my ass?
Chirio 8/8/10
OK. I admit I had to google La Tigresa del Oriente.
Slash called, and he wants his look back from this hagish, washed up, loser, poser who needs to be kicked in the crotchal are repeatedly, with steel toe boots.
my son's birthday party was today, we were stuck inside with screaming kids of all ages, so I feel better now.
thanks.
P.S.
Vegas is were all the has-beens wind up, so really, when you think about it this gig would be right up her herpes infested alley.
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Never wear anything that panics the cat.
P. J. O'Rourke
Madge getting $1 billion?! Oh sweet jesus christ. No-one, and I mean NO-ONE deserves that much money. It is disgusting. I hate celebrities!
Well Mariah Carey is not going to stand for this, not one bit, she inserted herself in the American Idol new judges headlines to distract from JLO, and now this. Well she just has to let the rumor fly that she has been offered a GazillionTrillion dollars to do Vegas, so there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Madge will always have to refuse Vegas no matter how much money they offer because she cannot sing & everyone with ears knows that.
Celine can belt out a song - I don't care for her but I know she really truly can sing - Madge cannot.
Madge might have a smoke & mirrors glitzy act - but she ain't no singer - not a singer's bootlace - & she knows that we all know she doesn't really play guitar - so she can't possibly do Vegas.
She has to pretend it's so tacky & far beneath her talent as an 'artiste' - but we all know she'd be found out if she had to perform in any smallish venue night after night. Her voice is weak & squeaky & her guitar skills are zilch.
Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Sat, 08/21/2010 - 3:49pm.
According to this article, visitor numbers are up in Vegas, but spending is still down:
http://www.lvrj.com/business/las-vegas-visitor-volume-increases-for-the-...
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CSG...that link covers material from the Review-Journal, Vegas' biggest newspaper. Don't believe everything you read. It's not in the best interest of any news outlet here to say negative things but anyone here can tell you the place is turning into a ghost town. That bazillion dollar city center they opened is turning into a flop already, not unlike the 300 million buck fiasco called Neonopolis a few years back. Vegas may "come back" some day, but it's going to take a long time.
"What's your motto?" "Kill everyone NOW"
nothing about that woman is worth a billion dollars
www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous
I'll seriously pass, but thanks Madge. You're so not worth $200 to watch you grab your granny panties.
_____________________
"Oh you little bitch troll from hell!" -- Patsy Stone
I so hate this ugly whore. Look at that picture of her giving her audience the finger; look at how she's dressed. Stupid top hat, fagged out little glovelets, leotard, PRETENDING to play a guitar. She's such a skank poser; why anyone would spend any money to see this hagged out whore pretend to try to entertain is beyond me...
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"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." - Brit's Tits
I'm sorry but Madonna is already so overrated, this is beyond despicable. She made it big at just the right place and time, not because she's so talented. She was different than anything anyone had ever seen.
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Pesez le matin que vous n'irez peut-etre pas jusqu'au soir, et au soir que vous n'irez peut-etre pas jusqu'au matin.
http://www.modestneeds.org/
wow. just wow.
___________________
"If a lady treats other people as she'd like to be treated, she's allowed to roll in the grass if she wants to ..."
Lena Horne
Submitted by warmislandsun on Sat, 08/21/2010 - 3:56pm.
Her middle fingers look dirty, like she just pulled them out of an ass.
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Now that you mention it, they do look kinda redish.
Maybe she uses O.B. Tampons.
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BWAH ha ha! Like Madonna still menstruates.
Submitted by warmislandsun on Sat, 08/21/2010 - 3:56pm.
Her middle fingers look dirty, like she just pulled them out of an ass.
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Now that you mention it, they do look kinda redish.
Maybe she uses O.B. Tampons.
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I fixed dinner, i get bottom. I called it!!
Her middle fingers look dirty, like she just pulled them out of an ass.
According to this article, visitor numbers are up in Vegas, but spending is still down:
http://www.lvrj.com/business/las-vegas-visitor-volume-increases-for-the-...
_______________________________
I smell bananas! Am I back? what's in my ass?
Chirio 8/8/10
What's next??? Jersey Shore the musical???
Nail me to my car... then I'll tell you who you are...Joe The Lion
didn't she pull in a few hundred million for the confessions tour, after the virgin mobile sponsorship and all? 1 billion isn't that much, considering it'd be the end of anyone talking about her, and she'll really be looking old in 5 years.
Love that picture of Madonna.. fuck you!!!
That memaw with bat wings and bad manners photo is worth a billion bucks.
It is said that the poor work for money and money works for the rich. Fan people will pay money to see Vadge-o-rama put on her latest disco numbers to dancercize muzak and she in turn will count her lucre and give soundbites as to how she loves ruling the world she condescends to, is buying more African children, expensive young mirkins, and lavish real estate. Wealth is priceless but it cannot change that picture of black-hearted aging she is giving.
Madonna would never do this. It's crazy to hear people say that Vegas is dying. You always hear of parties going on there and stuff. But now that I think about it it's the famewhores and reality show trash hosting parties there. Hmm...
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You're welcome to your opinion unless it differs from mine.
She seems more a Palms Springs draw than a Vegas draw, and no, I'm not sure if that's a compliment or an insult.
If they want to see a burned-out old steroid-freak whore lip-synch Material Girl, I would just try offering Mickey Rourke a carton of Marlboros first.