Tuesday, August 17th 2010

Michael Douglas Has A Tumor In His Froat

With the news that the world might lose the glamorous being in the world, and now this, Dlisted is quickly turning into SaDlisted. Adjust the number of whiskey shots in your morning coffee accordingly.

Michael Douglas' rep tells People that doctors found a tumor in his froat and he will go through eight weeks of radiation and chemotherapy to make sure that shit doesn't come back. Michael's rep didn't throw the "cancer" word around, but Dr. Nancy Snyderman said on Today this morning that the tumor is most likely malignant since he's being treated with chemotherapy. If Dr. Nancy says this, it must be so. I get all my medical info from Dr. Nancy, Doogie Howser and Nurse Bobbie.

In a 4-word statement, Michael simply said: "I am very optimistic."

I would suggest that Catherine Zeta-Jones should soothe Michael's throat with a soft lullaby, but we've all seen her melodramatic ass sing, so maybe that's not the best idea.

Posted by: Michael K


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CeeCee's picture

This is the only old pepaw I've ever had the hots for... I think it was from seeing his naked ass on Fatal Attraction when I was 13 and impressionable... hope he pulls through.

just passing through's picture

He was one AWKWARD looking kid and didn't become better looking until he was a lot older:

http://www.autographdealer.com/product_info.php?products_id=5568

gucci's picture

i don't care for the douglas family but i wouldn't wish cancer on anyone. period.

get well MD

___________________

"If a lady treats other people as she'd like to be treated, she's allowed to roll in the grass if she wants to ..."

Lena Horne

Albatross's picture

I wish him a speedy recovery. That's all I'm gonna say.

**********
"Strut for me, and show me what you're workin' with." --Glambert!

Datura's picture

Submitted by agirl on Tue, 08/17/2010 - 1:25pm.
...

Also, the word "froat" cracks me up every time. Carry on.
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That and "teef" make me giggle every time MK writes them. Quite an accent he's got.

*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*
Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb

agirl's picture

Well I don't care for him personally, and "sex addiction" is just a BS excuse for cheating, but I wouldn't wish *cancer* on him. And he does have two small children...so, I hope he recovers fully so the next time he is mentioned here we can snark on him fully without restraint. And may the snark directed at his aging wife continue unabated.

Also, the word "froat" cracks me up every time. Carry on.

Stan Hooper's picture

Mike Douglass needs to lay off the cancer sticks!!

=========
She's a fameasexual. Bitch will lick on anything if it gets her a blurb in Star Magazine. -- Michael K.

Provolone's picture

Submitted by TexnDoc on Tue, 08/17/2010 - 12:41pm.
More and more froat tumors are HPV positive and have zero to do with cigarette smoking. You can figure out how HPV gets in da froat.

Is wiki right??

"Risk factors are high number of sexual partners (25% increase >= 6 partners0 history of oral-genital sex..."

+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

Dion flowerboy's picture

"Does MIchael smoke?" Is the Pope catholic? C'mon, this guy did very drug going back in the day. This is prolly coke-froat. He loved the coke, so you smoke with that and slam down some Dewars to take the buzz off a little.
Cancer sux, but I dislike All of the Douglases, so ppppplllbbbtt! scummy horz

TexnDoc's picture

More and more froat tumors are HPV positive and have zero to do with cigarette smoking. You can figure out how HPV gets in da froat.

Naughychimp's picture

*blink* Never saw catherine ZG bringin' in da funk and da clowns before. Terrifying how much her head twitched. And, I swear, at first I didn't believe it was her - she looks half-Asian!

Wood Dragon's picture

To commemorate recovery in a few months Catherine Zeta will probably go have her face fucked up some more.

IrishFury's picture

Love me some Dan Gallagher!

He is actually one of my fav. actors, despite his fuck up of a personal life in his younger days.

Get well soon!
________________________________
Dark-sided!

literarylioness's picture

ubmitted by Stan Hooper on Tue, 08/17/2010 - 10:24am.

Does Michael smoke cigarettes? I know his wife does. Perhaps she gave him the throat cancer with the second hand smoke.

Bitch wants him dead.
____________________________________________________
Yes, he smokes like a chimney. When he did Streets of San Francisco, he always had a cig. That is why in the show he is always eating sunflower seeds.

I'm a judgmental bitch - when I first heard about this, I thought of how I teach the kids in my clinic about how males are increasingly getting throat cancer b/c of HPV!

Dental Dams are no longer things to scoff at!!!

Okay, they are, but at least they'll catch the saliva from your scoff.

(oYo)(_(_)(oYo)(_(_)(oYo)(_(_)(oYo)(_(_)
What's funner than fun? FUNDIO!!!!!

aw damn! hang in there, Gordon Gekko.

*******************************************************************

"LiLo is talking like she has swam out of the Jack Daniels bottle, hiked past the coke mountains, dove off of a crack spoon and is now ready to be someone's sponsor or something." -MK

Does Dr Nancy do pap smears?

Stan Hooper's picture

Does Michael smoke cigarettes? I know his wife does. Perhaps she gave him the throat cancer with the second hand smoke.

Bitch wants him dead.
=========
She's a fameasexual. Bitch will lick on anything if it gets her a blurb in Star Magazine. -- Michael K.

christine the hoff's picture

Submitted by ISprainedMyUvula on Tue, 08/17/2010 - 9:01am.

thanks! good to be back. no computers in rehab.
haha
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Never wear anything that panics the cat.
P. J. O'Rourke

Madam Pince's picture

Having to listen to his wife murder a good song probably brought on the cancer.

***************************************

"Heinous fuckery most foul, lad. Heinous fuckery most foul." ~~Christopher Moore

HoityToity's picture

There are millions of people who cannot get access to basic care in this country; where is their news coverage when they get sick? Meanwhile, his cheap ass euro trash whore refused to bid higher on an item for charity because she thought it wasn't worth it! And this is straight from her mouth at Jay Leno's Tonight Show a few years back. So fuck these stingy, miserly, low lifes! I hope he gets burnt extra crispy in hell.

parissucksliterally's picture

Good luck Michael.....my prayers are with you.

*******************************************
I thank you for the freedom, when it came my time to go --
I thank you for the kindness, and the times when you got tough
And Papa, I don't think I said 'I love you' near enough
- Dan Fogelberg

Romy's picture

Get well soon Michael Douglas, and commiserations to all D-listers who have had to deal with cancer whether directly or via loved ones.

I'm so glad the Today show had a wise MD like Nancy Snyderman clear up his condition for us. Cuz, ya know I couldn't possibly have figured out on my own that if he was receiving chemo and radiation that his tumor was cancerous.

TheBreakdown's picture

Oh, he'll be fine. He's got a wife ten years younger than him to look forward to.

Did I say ten?

*cough*

***************************************
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
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El Bastardo's picture

My Dad died of this. Good luck MD!

yucko's picture

I hope he gets through it without any serious complications later on.

jonnobaas_sea's picture

I've been through 8 rounds of chemo since February for NH Lymphoma & the tumour's gone. The thing about chemo is THERE IS NO CELEBRITY JUSTICE! Everybody throws up whilst trying to brush their teeth, everybody suffers roid rage, everybody turns bald as an egg. Good luck, Mr. Douglas.

"You cross me again Rosie & I'll make a handbag out of you."

grommet's picture

Michael Douglas rules. Fuck cancer!

He'll be fine.

ISprainedMyUvula's picture

Submitted by christine the hoff on Tue, 08/17/2010 - 8:38am.
That old woman will be fine... relax.

****

Hahaha! Nice to see you back, Christine.

**************************************

I ALMOST threw up my grilled cheese sandwich but with Jesus in your life, you can overcome anything. - boobxqueen on Octomom's Star cover

harveyprice's picture

Hmm...they should check for poisoning....

"And now you hookers and ho's know how I feel..."
- Snoop/Dr. Dre

kanderso's picture

:(

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Hooooooty who give an eff about Haiti?! I don't! BAM!" - MK as Taylor Momsen

Haribo's picture

dammit! :( hope MD recovers. speaking of cancer ;/ i had a nightmare tonight. basically my mom who is a smoker (she's healthy) died of cancer in it. i woke up confused as never before with a feeling of disbelief but at the same time upset as hell. i wonder why my brains are playing such cruel tricks on me. it's just not cool.

'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'

eat.pray.vomit's picture

I never had that feeling in my loins for M.D., but I did like him a lot in Wall Street. It was on T.V. two weeks ago. Charlie Sheen is such a shitty actor.

LOL @ The MadCatter.

The Marlboro Man died of lung cancer. True.

JeanGenie's picture

When I was a kid I had a major crush on him, I so wanted to be Kathleen Turner just to be in Romancing the stone and Jewel of the Nile, and I always liked him a lot as an actor. Sadness.
Hope for the best.

---------
Escaping Berlustard dictatorship before it's too late

GlitterKitty's picture

I know he smoked, DUH, everyone did back then! That still gives me the sads that this is happening to him.

I loved the streets of San Fransisco with him and Karl Malden. But for all teh stuff he did, Romancing the Stone is my fave. Not highbrow, but fantastic. Mind you I am talking like he has died already so: Let's hope you beat it Michael! Meanwhile Kurt is still walking around!

Mikey will do just fine. He can afford the best medical care. The therapies will cost him his hair for a while, but that's a cheap price to pay for the return of his health.

Maybe he needs to lead a cleaner life?

Pamela's picture

Cancer is a cunt

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm

damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!

Mrs Patrick Campbell's picture

We knew a fabulous eldersister who smoked and drank herself into this kind of cancer at the same age.....and she finally perspired two years later!

haileyscomet's picture

Well..considering Catherine Zeta Jones couldn't even give up the cancer sticks while pregnant, I'm not surprised somebody in that family has developed an issue.

Hekki's picture

I know what CZ-J is thinking...

ISprainedMyUvula's picture

Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Tue, 08/17/2010 - 8:37am.
I had a mad crush on him as a kid watching "The Streets of San Francisco".

****

So did I? And this does suck. Cancer is a wretched bitch.

**************************************

I ALMOST threw up my grilled cheese sandwich but with Jesus in your life, you can overcome anything. - boobxqueen on Octomom's Star cover

christine the hoff's picture

That old woman will be fine... relax.

-------------------------------------------------
Never wear anything that panics the cat.
P. J. O'Rourke

Dog's picture

The Marlboro Man has a lot to answer for.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pesez le matin que vous n'irez peut-etre pas jusqu'au soir, et au soir que vous n'irez peut-etre pas jusqu'au matin.

http://www.modestneeds.org/

Uncle Brain-fart's picture

I had a mad crush on him as a kid watching "The Streets of San Francisco".
Cancer sucks, hope he ll be ok.
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I fixed dinner, i get bottom. I called it!!

DirtyWhoreMouth's picture

Submitted by suckandfuck on Tue, 08/17/2010 - 8:20am.
YOU ALSO IN THE JUNGLE BABY! YOU GONNNA DIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I just spit coffee.

____________________________________________

This is why we can't have nice things!

*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-Hat 04/27/2010

Dirk Diggler's picture

Michael will get the best possible care and will no doubt recover fully.

Mabel Hodges's picture

Danggity! I like him and his wifey. I wish them the best.

~~~
Love,
Mabel

How little we understand what touches off that tingle,
That sudden explosion when two tingles intermingle. --Mrs. Kravitz