Friday, August 6th 2010

Vintage Megan Fox

Whoever is in charge of holidays needs to officially declare it Celebrity Yearbook Photo Week, because we've already seen Christina Hendricks and Jakey G before they were famous. And now here's Megan Fox's middle school yearbook picture courtesy of ONTD!!

Long before Megan switched faces with a mannequin, she was just a regular 7th grader at John Hopkins Middle School. A regular 7th grader who obviously just learned the power of a pair of tweezers. Megan probably spent the entire hour in homeroom slowly plucking the ends of her brows. I know her ass! There was this one girl my 7th grade class who was so damn trigger happy with a pair of tweezers that it made me weep inside! My brow-loving soul would curl up as I watched brow follicle after brow follicle slowly fall on her book cover made from a grocery store paper bag. Brow abuse! By the end of the school year, bitch had two half brows. Two half brows definitely make a one big wrong! Thankfully, it doesn't look like Megan Fox went that far.

And now, you should celebrate Yearbook Photo Week by sharing your 7th grade picture. I would go first, but I threw that shit in the trash a long time ago. My ass looked like a SANS FARDS Tootsie with braces and a mushroom head haircut.

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bigorexia's picture

She looks identical, except 12 years old, with brown hair and braces. She was cute then and she is stunning now. Don't hate.

Desert Rose's picture

Ugh, 7th grade wasn't that long ago for me(2002-2003), I remember wanting to be just like Avril Lavigne cause that's when she first came out. I used to wear ripped jeans and converses all the time but I had the dorkiest haircut, my mom wouldn't let me grow my bangs out until high school so I had these embarrassingly thick bangs when nobody else did, and my hair was curly so my bangs always curled up and everybody thought I did it on purpose but I didn't. I thought pigtails was a cute look back then :P ugh.

Pamela's picture

@Jerseygirl LMFAO Oh I remember that glints shit!! Ahhhh my sister and I use to buy that all the time, washes out in 12-24 shampoos!
I used the magenta one to and I have ginger hair, it looked like totally wicked because instead of auburn hair I had dark pink hair. I looked like such an asshole and didnt even know it!
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Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm

damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!

Wow, looks nothing like her! Of course, my 7th grade picture is so terrible, I wish I could recall every yearbook and destroy the evidence.

Those were the days. Sun-in, Hypercolor shirts, snap bracelets and Pogs. I never quite understood what we were supposed to do with the pogs. I just know everyone collected them. Oh, and when Sun-in wasn't grown-up enough, I started using that Glints crap. It was supposed to be temporary. Well, I wanted red highlights and even though I have very dark hair, the shade I got must have been for even darker hair, because my hair had a magenta tint for a month and my Mom wanted to kill me.

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Tamzin's picture

I don't know if this has been said already but she looks a little Kimmy Gibbler-ish.

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http://thisismommyhood.wordpress.com/

(Musical interlude) All the other kids with the pumped up kicks...you better run better run...out run my gun... - Foster the People - Pumped Up Kicks (great summer song for 2010)

I had second hand Reeboks Pumps or whatever they were called...no money to buy the real deal. 7th grade was all about fun times with my friend David...we laughed and laughed and got thrown out of class all the time for it. The highlight of the year was when we vandalized the library and destroyed a macrame hot air balloon that the librarian had lovingly crafted and hung in her domain. We also took a bunch of books and (1) reorganized them out of the Dewey decimal system and (2) shoved them up in the ceiling in the asbestos ceiling tiles, out of sight. Yes - we were totally pathetic and obviously had some kind of deep seated rage towards the library. We got in trouble, but we thought on balance, it was worth it.

Loved being a kid.

Wow. Never could have matched that face to her name. And 7th grade was not a super long time ago for her

Kelly Ann's picture

Whiskey: You know it. So much more trainwreck. My beau got to be quite a fan of his when he was in Superjoint Ritual. Heh. That says it all.

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Aint no cellphones in '69 man, I'm head to toe legit.

@Kelly Ann: yes indeed, it's Hank III. Don't get me wrong, I love Hank I and II, but III has a little more of the trainwreck in him than his forebears!

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"LiLo is talking like she has swam out of the Jack Daniels bottle, hiked past the coke mountains, dove off of a crack spoon and is now ready to be someone's sponsor or something." -MK

Kelly Ann's picture

Gah, WhiskeyTango, who is that in your avie? Is it Hank Williams III? That's who it looks like to me. Sheesh.

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Aint no cellphones in '69 man, I'm head to toe legit.

VulVaJaMes's picture

I don't see any major differences. Can still recognize her. She looks like a little bitch though.

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mikidais's picture

7th grade-first day of school (1982)

Blue Izod with striped collar
Levi's
Bass Penny Loafers with a penny

OMG, I feel old!

Spiffy McSpitshine's picture

Does anyone else think she looks like Nicholle Tom from the Nanny show in the nineties here? It's almost creepy to me!

Nothing is more important in this world than lookin' spiffy

Submitted by johnnysgirl on Fri, 08/06/2010 - 6:01pm.

7th grade makes me think of acid washed jeans, pegged at the ankle with white Reebok high tops and an oversized sweater shirt. High "aqual net" sprayed banks and a ponytail on top of your head with a huge colored scrunchy.

OH! And Aussie Scrunch Spray.

^Middle school in the mid 90s was all about JNCO and Mudd jeans, Bonne Bell lip smackers, Converse sneaks, and Calgon body spray (I had the whole collection). For school supplies, it had to be Trapper Keepers or Lisa Frank. and don't forget your Tamagotchi.

ah...brings back memories of dorky ass concert band when we used to play the Penis Game. The Penis Game basically consists of seeing who can yell "PENIS!" the loudest without getting caught.

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"LiLo is talking like she has swam out of the Jack Daniels bottle, hiked past the coke mountains, dove off of a crack spoon and is now ready to be someone's sponsor or something." -MK

Her skin looks good, but now she has acne scars, I'm trying to figure out when she had acne cuz she's been acting since her teens and I've never seen any pimples on her.

Albatross's picture

Holy shit - I would have never, in a million years, guessed that was Megan Fox. she looks cute!

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"69ing while driving is only for professionals" --MK

johnnysgirl's picture

7th grade makes me think of acid washed jeans, pegged at the ankle with white Reebok high tops and an oversized sweater shirt. High "aqual net" sprayed banks and a ponytail on top of your head with a huge colored scrunchy.

OH! And Aussie Scrunch Spray.
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HAHA!

I think of apple-smelling shampoo, Pantene, Tretorn sneakers, jeans with bows or zippers on the ankles, Bennetton sweaters (I only had one and it came from the outlet store)...oh, and I had a B.U.M. Equipment sweatshirt. OH THE SHAME!!!

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Sometimes you just want to slap a kitten in a tiny hat. - MK

johnnysgirl's picture

Aw, she looks so normal..

Regarding eyebrowns, I didn't start filling mine in until last year (that is, on a daily basis - I would if I were performing or doing a shoot). I am a pale redhead, and my brows are naturally almost invisible.

Now I can't believe I ever didn't. Eyebrows make a face look more...um, intentional? Heh, if that makes sense.

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Sometimes you just want to slap a kitten in a tiny hat. - MK

OneLiner's picture

Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 08/06/2010 - 5:07pm.
OneLiner - I had thicker eyebrows and hated them because all my friends were able to shave their legs and pluck their brows and I couldn't.

Ok, I was allowed to start shaving my legs in 8th grade.

Looking back now. I wish I would have never fucked with my brows. They weren't caterpillars or anything, just nicely shaped, thicker eyebrownz.
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You I belong in the thick eyebrow club then...i used to have mine very thin until i almost had none that's when i said enough is enough and let them all grow out (that was an interesting summer) now they're still thick but well shaped
a la elizabeth Taylor = )

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"Home remedy #108: IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL
BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

M.E.'s picture

OneLiner - I had thicker eyebrows and hated them because all my friends were able to shave their legs and pluck their brows and I couldn't.

Ok, I was allowed to start shaving my legs in 8th grade.

Looking back now. I wish I would have never fucked with my brows. They weren't caterpillars or anything, just nicely shaped, thicker eyebrownz.

CandyPerfumeGirl's picture

Wow, she looks less than ordinary. Amazing how much plastic surgery and make up can transform a person. Look at her hair and that forehead. In another life she would have been married by now to some trucker named Joe, working in a coat factory off of route 7 near wal mart.
..

.

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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity

OneLiner's picture

Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 08/06/2010 - 4:20pm.
My mother didn't allow me to touch tweezers until shit...my Jr. Year in HS.
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I never understood that! my mom never let me pluck my eyebrows, wax my mustache or shave my legs! i was fckn sasquatch...i yeah she also said that pads were for virgins and tampons for whores! LOL

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"Home remedy #108: IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL
BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

hamblettamaud's picture

Did someone just call her a "movie star"???

She is a pretty face that can mouth words. That's it.

(kiss this)--------------------------->>> (_!_)

Uncle Brain-fart's picture

LOL, Reebok Pump
oh, i remember.....lol
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I fixed dinner, i get bottom. I called it!!

M.E.'s picture

OH FUCK!!!!!!!!!! Uncle Brain Fart, I think I had those same fucking pair!

I also had a pair of, Reeboks maybe, on the top of the tongue was this "ball" and you pumped it for a tighter fit.

*hides*

Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 08/06/2010 - 4:36pm.
Koko - the summer between 7th and 8th grade I saved up all my babysitting money so I'd have enough when it came time for school clothes shopping to buy Z. Cavarichi's.
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I don't know what the hell was going on in thelate 80's/early 90's but I truly believe it was the worst fashion EVER. Today kids may dress slutty but it has nothing on the Guess overalls (with one strap down), parkas and starter jackets, wearing two different colored pairs of socks, the hair (having bangs that stick up 8 inches toward the sky), the jeans with the zipper on the butt etc...
and I was helping children in Morocco, it wasn't like a vacation...

Uncle Brain-fart's picture

I saved all my money to get those sneakers.
And i was hot shit wearing them....lol
7th grade ROCKED.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_IVaHKD-01Cc/Sb1F8NRM1aI/AAAAAAAAALo/0BpBarJGpa...
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I fixed dinner, i get bottom. I called it!!

M.E.'s picture

Koko - the summer between 7th and 8th grade I saved up all my babysitting money so I'd have enough when it came time for school clothes shopping to buy Z. Cavaricci's.

Oh MK...I used to get called mushroom head as well in junior high . My treasured posessions were a Raiders jacket and white L.A. Gear jean jacket...I looked disgusting. And I never liked the Raiders.
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and I was helping children in Morocco, it wasn't like a vacation...

M.E.'s picture

My mother didn't allow me to touch tweezers until shit...my Jr. Year in HS.

mharker's picture

I remember discovering the joy of eyebrow tweezing. My brows looked like that from 7th grade until my junior year of high school. There’s something so satisfying about plucking out each hair and looking at their little roots.

M.E.'s picture

7th grade makes me think of acid washed jeans, pegged at the ankle with white Reebok high tops and an oversized sweater shirt. High "aqual net" sprayed banks and a ponytail on top of your head with a huge colored scrunchy.

OH! And Aussie Scrunch Spray.

M.E.'s picture

Jr. High is 7th ans 8th, grade, sometimes 9th is mixed in there.

10 yrs old is 5th grade, 6th if you're on the older side.

kylimayrow's picture

How much work has this woman had. Holiday in the Sun she was around 14-15 and she looks nothing like this photo. She was most likely only 10- 11 in this pic that would be junior high age. So by the time she was 15 she already had work done on her face, sad...

humpalump's picture

i sported my charlotte hornets starter jacket!

Kerfuffles's picture

Submitted by P.T.Bull on Fri, 08/06/2010 - 3:50pm.

I think she still looks regular. Can't figure out why folks think she's hotter than the other tens of thousands of bimbos milling around southern california. She's not overweight and wears a lot of makeup--yawn.

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She was pretty enough. Now she looks like a blow-up doll, which I'm told is what guys like *shrug*. Let's just see how she'll look 15 years from now when all that plastic surgery falls out of place.

P.T.Bull's picture

I think she still looks regular. Can't figure out why folks think she's hotter than the other tens of thousands of bimbos milling around southern california. She's not overweight and wears a lot of makeup--yawn.

cattitude's picture

Me in grade 7: Dorothy Hamill wedge haircut, jean cutoffs,(Daisy Duke-esque) white t-shirt, kneesocks, skinny as hell, big honking 70's eyeglasses, sans makeup...scary!

NovaNightly's picture

Submitted by SoulTaker on Fri, 08/06/2010 - 2:32pm.

7th grade makes me think of Agree shampoo, Sun-In, Love's Baby Soft, Sea Breeze astringent and Noxema, and Tickle deodorant. And Toni home perms.
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TOTALLY! Oh and it reminds me of Swatch watches, Esprit bags, Bongo jeans, Benetton, Hypercolor clothing and gummy bracelets.

LOL...MEMORIES!!!!!!

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Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil.

Ninaliz's picture

Yech no wonder her classmates hated her, look at the prepubescent treasure trolls flanking the delicateness of her eyebrows.

"Satchels of Gold."

caribbeanchic's picture

Geez! Where did her face go??!!!

Pamela's picture

She was cute. I like this nose better. It suits her and this is nothing wrong with it!

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Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm

damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!

Mawy's picture

Soultaker, that was so on point. Sun in and noxzema were the shit. I actually got caught stealing noxema and hair gel in 7th or 8th grade. They then took a picture of me and my jewfro in all its glory with the items I tried to steal and hung it up in the store. That was in 1999, I believe. Good times, good times.
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harveyprice's picture

Aside from noting her large and long forehead...yeah, that's all I got.

"And now you hookers and ho's know how I feel..."
- Snoop/Dr. Dre

I heart Natalie's picture

The smile is throwing me off... I'm still pulling for Megan, though.

Datura's picture

I got braces in 7th grade, so I did that smirky "don't look at my teeth" smile in the yearbook photo. Awkward...

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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb

Datura's picture

I think the black hair she has now is a major part of her appeal. She looked like any other cute little blonde back then.

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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb