Swizz Beatz And Alicia Keys Are Married
A shot rang out in Corsica yesterday! No, it wasn't an intentional act of symbolism. It was the sound Mashonda's inflatiable boat made when it popped right after she arrived on shore to crash the wedding. Mashonda was too late, because Alicia Keys did indeed marry Gonzo Swizz Beatz on the French Island of Corsica last night. E! Online says that Bono and Queen Latifah watched as Swiss Beatz promised to love and honor the woman he's probably going to cheat on in a couple of months.
This is Swizz Beatz' second time wrapping a wedding ring around his finger and it's Alicia's first. The two are going to be parents to a brand new baby later this year.
Miss JIA already has some pretty hilarious pictures of their wedding. Swizz is dressed up like a busser/piano player at a lounge in Reno circa 1978. And the side-eye that little boy is throwing at Alicia's rhinestone headband has made my everything. Who does Alicia think she is? Empress Moon Child?
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Isn't she gay??
I bet they have a Christina Milian divorce in less than a year.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
question about AK`s Mom. She isn`t German by any chance? She looks about as German as they come. Like her name would be Uschi.
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I fixed dinner, i get bottom. I called it!!
I want to hate on that dress, but I caint! If I were knocked up and getting married, that's the way to go.
But the marriage itself, shiiiiit, that started going south the minute he put on that thrift store tux. If she thinks she put an end to his manwhore ways, she's in for a rude awakening when she finds that schnozz has been sniffing another woman's concha.
I thought she liked the lady muff?
I can't believe MK didn't post pictures of Tiny and T.I.'s wedding. It looked like a hot mess!
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
I have enough to re-name you Betty Crackwhore! - Submitted by TheBreakdown
Yeah, and he is going to be faithful to her. Cause after all she is "special". So special he had to cheat on wifee with her. God , some women are so fucking retarded.
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I fixed dinner, i get bottom. I called it!!
I hope she got a pre-nup!
why marry? specially a man who has had babies with different women? who the hell is he? not that I care, but whatever. Just because someone got you preggers doesn't mean you have to marry them. Some people change ofcourse, but this guy gives the RUN AWAY GIRLLLLLLLLLLL vibe.
Coma Caca!
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Low classy and nasty. Congratulations.
If it's true that Swizz Beatz has 4 kids by 4 different women, can we call this guy a slut/whore?
Who knows? Maybe SB will keep it in his pants. If he doesn't, I'll be the first one laughing and pointing at them while shouting "I knew he couldn't be faithful to you!"
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
I have enough to re-name you Betty Crackwhore! - Submitted by TheBreakdown
So he has an ex-wife and kids with her, plus other kids with baby mamas? Too many players on the field Alicia. Good luck with that. Sounds like a Bobby and Whitney situation going on.
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"Whoever it is needs to come down to the subways in NYC in August. With every ho wearing flip-flops, it sometimes smells like a family of horseflies died in a 2-week-old pot of fondue." MK
Yuck. I can't stand Alicia Keys.
Never understood women who think they're so special that they're going to change a man who is clearly out for himself. There are some dogs that can't be domesticated, ladies.
Don't mess with the Falcor. NES was one of my faves. The wolf used to scare the shit out me though.
If love has taught us anything, he's probably cheating on her now.
I have no idea why this made me laugh, but it did: "E! Online says that Bono and Queen Latifah watched as Swiss Beatz promised to love and honor the woman he's probably going to cheat on in a couple of months."
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.
I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."
Submitted by Snarkley on Sun, 08/01/2010 - 12:38pm.
I had such high hopes for her back in the day. Don't tell me this is the new Bobby and Whitney.
You poor naive child :( Never EVER have high hopes for celebs..they will let you down. Except for Audrey Hepburn, Shirley Temple....can't think of any others at the moment.
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Bullshit. God is a douchebag that will give you a cookie after slamming a window down on your fingers.
Chris Ecclestone (poster not actor)
Is that a picture from their wedding? These two should be fucking ashamed. They both look like shit.
Hope they do a reality show called 99 problems all are babymamas...
Submitted by JewJewBean on Sun, 08/01/2010 - 12:37pm.
When you leave the hood, you need to leave the hood rat behavior behind as well. Alicia is acting like a straight hood rat living in the projects. Having a kid by a man with a bunch of baby mama's? WTF is she thinking? This dumb broad went with him to a DNA testing to prove this woman's(another chick he was cheating on his wife with) daughter was his, and it was. The woman is now in the process of taking him to court for a DNA test. So, he was not only cheating on his wife with Alicia, he was cheating with this woman in the UK. LMAO. You can't make this shit up. Money doesn't buy class or common sense.
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Ever notice how when she it at an event like MTV or the NAACP, she speaks all ghetto but if she's at an event like the Grammys, all ghetto traces in the way she speaks are absent?
FAIL.
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Pesez le matin que vous n'irez peut-etre pas jusqu'au soir, et au soir que vous n'irez peut-etre pas jusqu'au matin.
http://www.modestneeds.org/
WHITNAAAAAY!
HA! So true the new WHITNAAAAAAAY
I had such high hopes for her back in the day. Don't tell me this is the new Bobby and Whitney.
When you leave the hood, you need to leave the hood rat behavior behind as well. Alicia is acting like a straight hood rat living in the projects. Having a kid by a man with a bunch of baby mama's? WTF is she thinking? This dumb broad went with him to a DNA testing to prove this woman's(another chick he was cheating on his wife with) daughter was his, and it was. The woman is now in the process of taking him to court for (**edit)child support. So, he was not only cheating on his wife with Alicia, he was cheating with this woman in the UK. LMAO. You can't make this shit up. Money doesn't buy class or common sense.
*Change is inevitable; progress is optional
*She who conquers herself, conquers all
"Who does Alicia think she is? Empress Moon Child?"
Neverending story is one of my FAVORITE movies from my chilhood days, I still tear up at the scene where arthrax sinks at the swamp.
Back on topic...I thought Alicia Keys was a big ol' lezz. Was I wrong?
More like, Swizz Cheatz!
amirite?
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"LiLo is talking like she has swam out of the Jack Daniels bottle, hiked past the coke mountains, dove off of a crack spoon and is now ready to be someone's sponsor or something." -MK
Submitted by muffintops on Sun, 08/01/2010 - 12:30pm.
she's totally knocked up.
Erm, yes. Common knowledge.
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Bullshit. God is a douchebag that will give you a cookie after slamming a window down on your fingers.
Chris Ecclestone (poster not actor)
Ahhaha @ "Swizz Beatz". For real?
And he has four babies with four different women?! Holy shit. That's certainly interesting family planning.
she's totally knocked up.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Sun, 08/01/2010 - 12:27pm.
lol. Thanks I needed that :)
Hope they're saving up for that poor baby's nosejob.
***fart***
Yea because he's sure to be different THIS TIME. Good luck with that you numb cunt.
Oh lord, the inflatable boat popping has me laughing out loud!
I love MK!
Swizz? Is that short for Swizzle? As in stick? Tacky, tacky, tacky.
"What's your motto?" "Kill everyone NOW"
How long before he be beatzin the shit out of her ass?????????????????
These two narcissists are perfect for each other. Hopefully they'll just make each other miserable instead of anyone else.
I hope MK's next post is fun and silly because Simpson with her constant need to latch on to dial-a-dates and Key's used up, downgrade hubby, is really ruining my vibe!
:D
Ooooh, now that I've seen the pictures it's even more hilarious! The bride's preggo with a bikini tan line, a stupid headband, and everyone's wearing sunglasses.
You just can't buy that kind of class.
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Thank God I'm an agnostic
Schnozz Beatz?
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Bullshit. God is a douchebag that will give you a cookie after slamming a window down on your fingers.
Chris Ecclestone (poster not actor)
That loser was married with a baby when he started banging on the Keys. Hope she's happy. Can you say "Christina Milian", Alicia?
He'll cheat on your ass too. Probably already has.
Thank God I'm an agnostic
This will not last.
LOL@that first thumb in the link is pretty funny - like the man is walking the boy away saying " You will be having nothing to do with this mess, son." Ha! And what the hell with Swizz's outfit. I hate every single thing he's wearing and that he's wearing them all together is just unconscionable.UGH! I saw a guy who wasn't even going anywhere yesterday looked a whole lot better than that.
♥ Threadkilla!
"I kissed him sort of hard and totally passionately, which I could tell he liked a lot, so I pushed him away and slapped him so he wouldn't think I was a slut. But not very hard, so he wouldn't think I wasn't interested." ~Abby
Aww, congrats to Alicia. I've always thought she was really beautiful. Not to be a Debbie Downer, but realistically this marriage probably will not last.
Ad Astra Per Aspera: To the stars through difficulty.
He gets chicks pregnant and then abandon's them...I give this union about 6 months. This will be his 4th child with 4 different women. A real winner she snagged.
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and I was helping children in Morocco, it wasn't like a vacation...
And she thinks he's not going to cheat on her too because.....?
Seriously, why do celebs even bother getting married anymore?
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Pearls of Wisdom from JJ - "If ass-holes could fly, you guys would be an airport"
Alicia's demeanour during the affair with Swizz was disgusting. It's just a matter of time before he has another side piece.
Congratulations, I guess.
Aw, would you look at that? Her beard has a beard!
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Pesez le matin que vous n'irez peut-etre pas jusqu'au soir, et au soir que vous n'irez peut-etre pas jusqu'au matin.
http://www.modestneeds.org/
WHAT-EVER
The Neverending Stoooooorrrriiieeee.....
Empress Moon Child pulled it off better and with more class. :)