"Is That A Corn Dog Cart Over There?"
Jessica Simpson showed off the love she shares with her new paid piece Eric Johnson by Tweeting this picture of them kissing yesterday. Yeah, kissing. It looks more like a mama bird trying to resuscitate a slowly dying baby bird after it ate too many worms. Jessica had this to say about the picture:
Romance 101..getting kissed by my Yalie...me not lookin' so smart...:) but YUM!
about 16 hours ago via UberTwitter
Since Jessica gently fucks her teeth with a toothbrush only once a week, Eric is also screaming YUM on the inside. Eric is getting a full balanced meal out of this kiss. A little Korean BBQ, a few waffle cone chunks, etc... Put your lips on Jessica and leave with a full stomach! Kirstie Alley just raised her hand to ask if Jessica is planning on opening up a kissing booth anytime soon.
I love how Jessica's pointing out that her piece went to Yale. This is the closest Jessica will ever get to going to Yale since that time she caught a rerun of Beverly Hills 90210 where Andrea decides to go to California University instead of Yale. Bitch is still closer to going to Yale than my ass is. I should be jealous.
And Jessica really doesn't have to worry about ever looking smart. Why bother? If Jessica was photographed wearing a Harvard valedictorian sash while holding a Mensa card, I still think the last thing anybody would say is, "Fuck, she looks smart here."
Here's Jessica taking her Yalie to dinner in NYC the other night. UsWeekly says that Eric dropped out of the Wharton School to travel around with Jessica. And who said gold digging isn't a major?!
• 
To those who wonder "where is Papa Joe", I heard the old perv set her up with this douche - like he's set her relationships up so many times in the past. Talk about a father who is WAY too overly invested/interested in his daughter's sex life.
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19 Cats and Counting!
THE FULL RELEASE LOOP
What the underlying loop inside all of this really is
1974 someone used satellite time and brain cephalics (same thing), to view me, in 19764
The sound of the BR
While she looks happy, I feel bad for her that he is hanging around b/c she pays for everything. Where is her father? He drove away all the men that really cared for her and now he is letting this male gold-digger date his daughter
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Fugazi!!!" love it! How do you say "bankrupt" in Italian? (borrowed from WhiskeyTango)
That bitch should have stayed with Nick Lachey...dump daddy and you might be happy Jessica.
she looks genuinely happy...
(he looks like her daddy, and my pre-dicktion is that they are gonna get married.)
i'm not getting a douche vibe from him at all.
This bitch will not get a clue until Daddy dies and she will have to learn to be smart on her own, if that is even possible. Both of these sisters seem to be pressured by Papa Joe to get into these B.S. "relationships" of theirs. Shit, the other one's BD doesn't even help raise the thing and has probably already cheated on her ano ass. And this one is just...sad. Telling you, Texas Christian Girls become truly craycray if not married by 27.
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In my neck of the woods, men who will do ANYONE are known as Donkey Dicks.
He-WHORE,he'WHORE.” -A.cotw, DListed
Submitted by CuriouserAndCur... on Sun, 08/01/2010 - 7:18pm.
Don't go boasting until you've got the deal sealed, dumbass.
BTW, everyone I've known associated with the Wharton School was a nutjob.
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Ivanka Trump went there.
(You rest your case?:)
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"Chi la fa l'aspetti."
"Romance 101..getting kissed by my Hali(tosis)...me not lookin' so smart...:) but YUM!"
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"Chi la fa l'aspetti."
@swarm-of-locusts
@El Bastardo
I was pleasantly surprised to find The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets' Nest at a market in Namche Bazaar (नाम्चे बजार), Nepal before it was released in the U.S.!
She fucking defines "pathetic".....hate....her!
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That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.2008
Does she even bathe regulary? What about washing her pussay? Didn't John Mayer mention that her fuck was the bomb? I wonder if he meant a stink bomb?
He: "Who's your daddy" *pulling her weave,spanking her plump little butt*
She: "Boola boola" * screaming through her third phony orgasm of the night*.
She: Me and my sister Ashley are going to do a rock n' roll version of that Yalie Song.SWEET."
Gentlemen rankers out on a the spree,
Damned from here to Eternity
God ha' mercy on such as we,
Baa! Yah! Bah!
*
Submitted by Deb on Sun, 08/01/2010 - 7:18pm.
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I does what I can. :) And an offended gangster? Hahaha!!!
"My Yalie" - oh, STFU, bitch!
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"69ing while driving is only for professionals" --MK
Her purse is HUGE! It looks like an overnight bag.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Don't go boasting until you've got the deal sealed, dumbass.
BTW, everyone I've known associated with the Wharton School was a nutjob.
Submitted by islandgirl on Sun, 08/01/2010 - 6:46pm.
He looks a little Dean McDermott-ish in the face to me. If she really is paying for everything like we've been reading, I hope he's at least good in the sack.
Well, at least better than Papa Joe.
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*in the tone of an offended gangster*
"OOOOOOOOOHHH!!!"
I knew that was coming. Shoulda known it would come from you, IG! ;)~
@Manimal5 - there must be a labyrinth of asshat wings there! LOL!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by kacky on Sun, 08/01/2010 - 7:05pm.
Is she wearing those creepy anime contact lenses?
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I had never heard of those before so I just googled it.
*hold me*
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Sometimes you just want to slap a kitten in a tiny hat. - MK
Is she wearing those creepy anime contact lenses?
.
.
.
.
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My heels are broken! I can't move!
Submitted by El Bastardo on Sun, 08/01/2010 - 11:44am.
Submitted by swarm-of-locusts on Sun, 08/01/2010 - 11:35am.
She always comes off as so clingy and desparate.
@ El Bastardo:
I just watched The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo yesterday...fucking awesome. I love Salander!
Awesome! Good word! Yep, everyone falls in love with Lisbeth! :) Cannot wait for the next two films! Reading 'Girl who played with fire' at the moment.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Excellent avie,dude! So are you two the newest members of the Lisbeth Salander Admiration Society or Sally's Friend's? (the latter is a website & youtube channel.) Around two weeks ago,i watched TGWTDT after several Dlisters talked about it in an OP. Any book or film recommendation from a Dlister is solid. (edit) THANKS!!!
Mr. W watched it with me. We both fell in love with her-would you believe he CHEERED when Lisbeth punished the evil guardian? He bought me the trilogy over the course of the week which followed.
He looks a little Dean McDermott-ish in the face to me. If she really is paying for everything like we've been reading, I hope he's at least good in the sack.
Well, at least better than Papa Joe.
Could someone explain to me why she has to carry such a bigass purse on a night out? Does she carry a year's supply of Proactiv in that thing?
Honestly, in a bag that size I could pack my pajamas, a change of clothes, a 12 pack of beer, a carton of cigarettes, both of my cats, and their litterbox, in addition to my cell phone, wallet, chapstick and a fullsize bottle of moisturizer.
She is actually looking less chunky in these pictures. She looks good.
Also, I really don't like purposeful holes in clothes. When your clothes tear, you mend or discard. Buying clothes with holes already made in them (such as jeans) is the height of foolery, to my mind. Hrmph.
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Sometimes you just want to slap a kitten in a tiny hat. - MK
*sung to the tune of "If You're Happy and You Know It*
Oh, the freshmen up at Yale get no tail
Oh, the freshmen up at Yale get no tail
So to ease their frustration, they resort to masturbation
Oh, the freshmen up at Yale get no tail
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"LiLo is talking like she has swam out of the Jack Daniels bottle, hiked past the coke mountains, dove off of a crack spoon and is now ready to be someone's sponsor or something." -MK
What is this, fuckin "Where The Boys Are"? Who says "Yalie" anymore? Oh, dumb fucks like Jessica Simpson.
Derpa Derp!
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Sometimes you just want to slap a kitten in a tiny hat. - MK
*wanders in thread*
TEAM YALE!!!
True Deb...a donation for the asshat wing would do it.
That shit just made me laugh out loud.
Oh for crissakes, George W. Bush graduated from Yale. I think it's been established that one doesn't have to be particularly intelligent, (as long as one's parents are rich and well-connected), to get in there.
Secondly, I have torn holes in almost all the knees of my jeans from doing heavy gardening all summer. Is that a good thing? Sorry, I'm old. I don't know if "self-distressed" jeans are as cool as ones in which somebody in a third world country pokes the holes.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manso
All these pictures prove is that Jessica is kissing on a man that's not her father...
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sit your $5 ass down before i make change...
She looks really enthused to be kissing him in that photo.
Is anyone taking bets on how long this nonsense lasts?
It won't last as long as Tony Roma. I say they break up before Christmas, so he doesn't have to give her Christmas gifts. *LOL*
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"I am going to come and burn the fucking house down... but you will blow me first."- The Deliciously Insane Mel Gibson- 7/1/10
Submitted by Infamous on Sun, 08/01/2010 - 4:37pm.
she's the new Jennifer Love Hewitt
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"new"? lmao, truth. These bitches are most plausibly separated at birth. Too much coincidence involved here re: desperation. They give new meaning to J'Alone. Let's fking hope they don't launch a damn perfume. *falls on knees and prays in tongues furiously*
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"One glance at a book and you hear the voice of another person, perhaps someone dead for 1,000 years. To read is to voyage through time." - Carl Sagan
"Pearl Diver," I love it! I'll have to use it soon. Gold diggers & pearl divers.
she's the new Jennifer Love Hewitt
www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous
That dude has douche written all over his face :|
Her face in the 2nd thumbnail says it all: 'Please don't leave me like all the others! Please! I'll suck your dick and buy you stuff!!!'
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"I said, I'm not gonna hurt ya, I'm just gonna bash your brains in."
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this chick is just in love with being in love or having a man .. no matter what type
she looks pretty in the other pics...cute outfit. bet that douche marries her for her coin tho.
This bitch...desperate and not attractive.
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I'm countin' on Jesus at this point.
Submitted by little_rascal on Sun, 08/01/2010 - 12:19pm.
Off topic : Did MK post anything about Snooki being arrested in Seaside Heights and charged with disorderly conduct??
This is from NYDailyNews.com :
"Jersey Shore" star Nicole Polizzi (Snooki) was arrested Friday after apparently epic beach bender and was hauled away in cuffs wearing a T-shirt that said "SLUT".
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*finally could slip away from bboy's family bbq events*
ONT: bbhawhaaaa Okay, you can "go to Yale" or anywhere but not fking graduate, as we all know. So, remedial Jess should confirm his 'Yalie-ness' first before getting all groupie-like. She should stick to missionary-air-humping 101.
OFT: LRas, bigger BWWAAHHAA! I am 55 mins from JShore and WISH I had seen the bender/'slut' tshirt arrest by that over-done elf. Let me scour the webs for footage. *busts out new bottle of p.noir*
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"One glance at a book and you hear the voice of another person, perhaps someone dead for 1,000 years. To read is to voyage through time." - Carl Sagan
Good one MK! I totally get where you're getting at with the Yalie comments! Too funny! Jessica is dating Einstein. She's letting the world know she found herself a good catch. Screw Nick and Tony...they ain't got nothing on her Einstein. ugh ugh. She hit the goldmine! :)
Put the mom jeans on standby...will she gain 10, 20 or 30 pounds this time? We all know what happens when Ms. Simpson is in love? Super-size.
Her man will get sick of her...they all do. Maybe she gets all needy or something. Tony couldn't wait to get the hell out!
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Don't hate me cause I'm DLeautiful
dead in the eyes. dead in the brains.
umm wasn't she dating footballer guy last week in italy somewhere? the fuck. she proves that waiting to have sex til ur married turns u into a ho. she's fucking on more peen in 2 weeks than i have in 2 years
Bitches gettin' with rich guys are gold-diggers. Dudes gettin' with rich women be pearl-divers, for all the stank clams they gotsta dig through. Nasty.
Yep the thumbnails say it all his loving every minute of it. The perks are all worth it. It's like winning the state lottery. Definitely has that douchy vibe, his the male version of a gold digger, which, I believe, is called a gigolo! Like I stated before in a few years we'll be calling them her boy toys. Pretty pathetic especially the first three thumbnails where she looks like she's hanging onto him for dear life, I think this girl has a few addictions one of them is a "love" addiction.
Submitted by ricki lake on Sun, 08/01/2010 - 2:14pm.
Bravo!!
*Gives ricki standing ovation*
I feel kind of sorry for this spoiled dummy. No one knew who her new toy was until he started dating her. Not only is he getting his name out there, she is paying for everything. Wait until he dumps her for another sugar mama. Poor jess.
A dumb fucking big titty sow
That dumb pro jock types like to plow
Will never be wed -
Nay, punched in the head!
Doggy-styled like a donkey cow.
For her saggy udders are no prize
Nor are her bulbous chunk thighs.
They fuck her for cash
But jack off to Ash
And pretend to ignore her fat size.
This fat-boobied frog with no brain
Drives all of her boyfriends insane.
Deplete her of bread
Then shoot her pig head
For a broke pig whore's life is a stain.
Without her tittays and fame,
Vagina and lack of all shame
The bitch would be nil
And no one would kill
This dad-fucking pig Texan dame.
No wonder Romo dumped her on her birthday. Desperate, needy women like this bring out the raging asshole in you.
Off-topic: I just spent 2 hours battling the nastiest computer virus. That fucker had me in a headlock for sure! People who develop those things should be charged with a felony! I don't even know where it came from. Anyway, I won and I'm back in charge...but damn.
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"I said, I'm not gonna hurt ya, I'm just gonna bash your brains in."
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The first word that came to my mind was Needy ... even before Fakey