Needs More Black Eye Grease
Taylor Momsen, the baddest bitch in a McDonald's ball pit, has released the cover for her band's debut album, which comes out in the UK later next month. Doesn't Taylor actually look her age without half of the contents of an ashtray smothered all over her eye area? No, that's not Taylor! It's just a visual representation of her maturity level (MINE TOO!!!).
This cover just confirms that the first thing toddlers learn in school shouldn't be how to tie their shoes or how to write their name. Who needs to know that? The first thing they should be taught is how to work a lighter. Sometimes when you're desperately looking for a light, you probably think to yourself: "I really wish that toddler over there was holding a Zippo instead of a Blackberry (toddlers have those now, right?)" That thought was just incepted from Kate Moss' dreams.
That being said, if the girl on Pretty Reckless' cover is supposed to be a young version of Taylor Momsen then they went with the wrong choice. I'm not a curator of hardcoreness like Taylor, but they really should've gone with this instead:
It's like you're staring at one of Taylor's baby pictures, right? It's all about the eyes!
And here's Taylor looking like she should be freebasing a piece of bamboo while performing in Florida the other day.
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needs moar eyeliner and less clothes
- <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 - <3 -
I think mastication means to chew your own penis...
Submitted by angel_i on Wed, 07/28/2010 - 4:46pm.
If she was smart, she'd just go ahead and let Madonna dress her every day.
I agree...let's face it, it's not like she ever going to be a brain surgeon or something.
She is what she is so she'll might as well be the best at it. If you want to look like a slut...be the slut.
I'm not upset that an entitled former child star turned department store model has manufactured a "hardcore" veneer straight out of the "Nancy Spungen For Dummies" handbook. I am, however, quite pissed off at a music industry desperate to shovel her shit down our throats without any of us asking for it.
She makes Avril look like Diamanda Galás.
She always puts on the guitar for looks and doesn't play it.
Bitch, you ARE NOT Cherie Currie, so just stop it!
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"69ing while driving is only for professionals" --MK
Hey now! That's an insult to pandas!
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"LiLo is talking like she has swam out of the Jack Daniels bottle, hiked past the coke mountains, dove off of a crack spoon and is now ready to be someone's sponsor or something." -MK
If she was smart, she'd just go ahead and let Madonna dress her every day. I dunno - I'm kinda sad about this one - she has a voice but she's such an ass. She's TOO much ass. I can get with the "I'm Rock n' Roll - that's my Act Like An Ass Pass" but you have to get a sense of some kinda creative genius for that...all she has, really, is an interesting voice. Well, that and a good idea of what industry execs are looking for in a "musical act". It's still not an Ass Pass, tho....
♥ Threadkilla!
"I kissed him sort of hard and totally passionately, which I could tell he liked a lot, so I pushed him away and slapped him so he wouldn't think I was a slut. But not very hard, so he wouldn't think I wasn't interested." ~Abby
fuckinAMATUER with the lucite heels with straps around the ankles! POSEUR!
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►I'm a free bitch, baby◄
"Why doesn't anybody think of the sluts?!!!" MK
She is trying so hard to look hardcore she does not realize she looks like an idiot. She looks like she raided a hooker's closet and had no idea how to put the eyeliner on.
I like the cover, but just wish it was for a different band/artist/whatever the hell this is. And she is annoying, but she's only 16. If she keeps doing music, then by 25 or so (if she's not on DWTS by then, which I predict is her real future), then she might do something worthwhile. But this angsty shit is just weird.
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"But I don't speak liarmouthcuntanese. So who the fuck knows."
Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on Tue, 07/13/2010 - 7:40pm.
And the music industry wonders why it's dying...
Her whole underage-whore act would be better if she had a body, instead of being a formless stick figure with chicken legs.
She was cute as CindyLou Who. The Grinch is welcome to her now.
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I'm sorry you feel that way ..... may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits
Who is this chick?
I'm so tired of little girls pretending to be sex workers.
If she wants to be raped and have somebody spit in her mouth then all she has to do is bundle herself in a van with the rest of the trafficked lollitas.
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Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 04/06/2010 - 10:19am.
mcnightmare, don't argue with ZiggyStardust. You will just get frustrated. Her mind doesn't work like the rest of ours.
Who is this chick?
I'm so tired of little girls pretending to be sex workers.
If she wants to be raped and have somebody spit in her mouth then all she has to do is bundle herself in a van with the rest of the trafficked lollitas.
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Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 04/06/2010 - 10:19am.
mcnightmare, don't argue with ZiggyStardust. You will just get frustrated. Her mind doesn't work like the rest of ours.
Submitted by WWJDFAKB on Wed, 07/28/2010 - 1:48pm.
i really, really miss the old warped days, in fact was just talking yesterday to a friend who ended up at this year's, and said it was god-awful save for maybe 3 bands. will never be the same.
She is just embarassing.
i wish they would use the pic of the 2 yr old kid from asia who smokes two packs a day instead.
Submitted by SakeBomb on Wed, 07/28/2010 - 1:31pm.
Submitted by WWJDFAKB on Wed, 07/28/2010 - 1:28pm.
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i see we're on the same page ;)
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Ditto.
In a span of a couple of years it went from a pretty decent punk (Rancid/Bad Religion-esque) fest into a Emo Crybaby Pop Fest..wouldn't be surprised if Kleenex sponsored that shit.
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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
Submitted by WWJDFAKB on Wed, 07/28/2010 - 1:28pm.
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i see we're on the same page ;)
She's sixteen. Where are her parents?
bands like hers are the reason warped hasn't been relevant in yeeeeeears
taylor, please, burn out, fade away, pick one and do it fast
So glad I've been skipping the Warped Tour since 2004..that shit was there just last Monday, and I looked at the band list and just smh.
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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
I know exactly what Taylor is thinking when she chose this for the cover of the cd. She's thinking: CLASSIC.
Classically SAD is what I feel.
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I Love You More
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boring wanna be's are never edgy...to much privilege and I would never listen to this bitch cause just looking at her pictures is enough proof that she can't sing...but dayum that is one cute lil Panda...
Is that a PLAYSKOOL guitar in thumb #4?
I've always thought people who were a fan of this type of music dismissed female singers to begin with.
I'm guessing she'll drop the rock chick thing in a couple of years when her fifteen minutes blows over and people realise there is no talent behind all that sluttyness. It's like the pretencious kids in high school that were in to grunge for 5 minutes and then ditched it when the next trend came along. She's about that level of maturity and age.
WTF, is this pedo-bait trying to bring a good spanking and being sent to bed without supper back into the family unit. She is going to get her ass tore up one day soon.
@Jeanneee:
You're so right. Cuz little kids who like to play at "hardcore" always decide, at some point, that they gotta try it on the real. When a girlie is THIS soft at the starting gate there's nothing but disaster ahead.
Threadkilla!
"I kissed him sort of hard and totally passionately, which I could tell he liked a lot, so I pushed him away and slapped him so he wouldn't think I was a slut. But not very hard, so he wouldn't think I wasn't interested." ~Abby
The baby panda pic is a touch of genius.
What a hot lil' mess this one is! I don't understand these starlets who shit on their golden tickets because they think there's something better out there for them. Taylor, you need to reference Miss Mischa Barton as a cautionary tale - because you are headed down that same rabbit hole.
Snideychick sez:
Why do I get the feeling that this is her way of throwing the I-didn't-get-the-Cherie-Curry-part-in-that-Runaways-movie-so-fuck-you tantrum?
Hate.Her.
The End.
"Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped"
- Elbert Hubbard
Fabulous typography. Looks like her mom picked it out.
LMAO at "baddest bitch in the McDonald's ball pit."
It's like she's going for "Joan Jett" but FAIL.
She is NEVER going to be Lita Ford. Pedophilia is not cute. Pretending to be an underage whore is OLD TIMEY! Not old school - it's over. This bitch is ruining her career before it gets started.
♥ Threadkilla!
"I kissed him sort of hard and totally passionately, which I could tell he liked a lot, so I pushed him away and slapped him so he wouldn't think I was a slut. But not very hard, so he wouldn't think I wasn't interested." ~Abby
Actually Van Halen did it better with the 1984 Album Cover
funny how this rich kid is trying sooooo hard to look hardcore.
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:D
Submitted by WhiskeyTango on Wed, 07/28/2010 - 10:45am.
Nirvana did it better!
(the album cover with the toddler, that is)
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yep. so did U2...
http://images.play.com/covers/5508689x.jpg
Lindsay Lohan called, collect from jail, and she wants her style back.
"the baddest bitch in a McDonald's ball pit"; OMG Michael, that was CLASSIC! That panda pic was spot on as well. Michael K....you're my hero :-D
What I want to know is, who is selling her those cigarettes and lighters? Even I wouldn't sell her a pack for $20. Jailbait!
Meh. This whole slutbag kiddie porn faux-punk I'll-fuck-you-for-a-nickel image is now an official cure for insomnia. Taylor needs to go home and learn to do something useful for society. Like vanish.
"What's your motto?" "Kill everyone NOW"
Bitch, please. You ain't shit. Cherie Currie was so doing this at fifteen in the 70s.
Submitted by The Mad Catter on Wed, 07/28/2010 - 9:28am.
Why is it always the most banal, cliched people on earth who believe that they are true originals?
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Good question!
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"Regular people pay for birthday cakes, you idiotic pig with the self-entitlement of a billion Kanyes." -MK
Submitted by copacabanagirl on Wed, 07/28/2010 - 9:58am.
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 07/28/2010 - 9:41am.
Off Topic:
Just bought a pack o smokes and a lighter, got $5.25 back from a $20!!!!!!!!
*cries*
YOU PEOPLE ARE MAKING ME SMOKE!!!!!!
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Why do that when you can get the whole carton at a reservation smoke shop for $20 and the lighters thrown in for free? Seriously, if you're a smoker, I don't know how you're okay with paying those prices. Unless you're like my sister who actually admits she's too snobby to smoke the reservation brands. But I can tell you, they're actually better cigs, at a fraction of the cost.
Good advice! Kill yourself cheaper! *ACK ACK ACK*
Nirvana did it better!
(the album cover with the toddler, that is)
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"LiLo is talking like she has swam out of the Jack Daniels bottle, hiked past the coke mountains, dove off of a crack spoon and is now ready to be someone's sponsor or something." -MK
Ahhaha Fucking_Classy and Uncle B,
That site IS hilarious... I am cracking up over here! I have some really awesome stuff like that from Japan and Vietnam in particular, I love finding it when I travel.
LOL that was me Master B! you looked hot in your speedo!
yeah, I usually don't buy them in NYC and I supposedly quit anyway but lately I have been smoking just to take breaks away from the hell I call work....
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►I'm a free bitch, baby◄
"Why doesn't anybody think of the sluts?!!!" MK
You go Taylor...because someone with tons of money, a weave, and on a tween//teen show like Gossip Girl is SOO punk rock !
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and I was helping children in Morocco, it wasn't like a vacation...