Hulk Hogan Thinks He's The Next Billy Mays
If Hulk Hogan cracked open his fortune cookie chichi (or is that a bloated Pac-Man with a wart on his chin?), he would find these words of wisdom: "CONFUCIUS SAYS, DON'T EVEN TRY IT, ASSHOLE!" It's safe to say that we all co-sign that shit. Radar is saying that Hulk Hogan is working with infomercial king Kevin Harrington on a new hand cleanser made from pumice.
Hulk's lawyer says that he believes the product will turn Hulk Hogan into the new Billy Mays. Hulk's lawyer said:
“Billy’s unfortunate passing kind of left a hole. We all agree that he certainly has some big shoes to fill as far as Billy Mays is concerned, but I don’t think that any of us doubt that he has the ability to do it. We hope this is the beginning of a very long and good relationship between him and Kevin and the various products that Kevin may bring to the market. Terry brings decades’ worth of charisma and credibility to the marketplace.”
Just because Hulk looks like he uses Orange-Glo as a body lotion doesn't mean he's got the same powers Billy had. Besides, the world doesn't need a stupid hand cleanser made from pumice. If we want to get the skank off our hands, we just need to hold our palms up to one of Billy's old infomercials and let his "Miley Cyrus after gargling sand" voice scrub that shit clean. Hulk Hogan is not needed.
And will somebody please switch Hulk Hogan and White Oprah's peroxide with NAIR, because obviously the stuff they use causes extreme delusion in the brains.
• 
Human growth hormone is a helluva drug!
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It took me SIX MONTHS to break down and order the Shakeweight.
Billy would have had my credit card out before the end of the first commercial.
Hulk, please.
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"I can resist everything but temptation."
What's wrong with his right boob?
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"Whoever it is needs to come down to the subways in NYC in August. With every ho wearing flip-flops, it sometimes smells like a family of horseflies died in a 2-week-old pot of fondue." MK
naw. i had a crush on jimmy superfly and, i know most of you are going to puke when i say this, aundre the giant.
that said, i think hulk could do infomercials. he'll never be billy mays but i think it could work.
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"If a lady treats other people as she'd like to be treated, she's allowed to roll in the grass if she wants to ..."
Lena Horne
Damn you Michael K! I read the headline and my heart grew three sizes when I thought you meant he was going to walk off of a plane and die.
What's wrong with his tit?
Billy was likeable. Hogan is not. He is nothing but a greedy, no talent attention whore who would do anything to get money to feed his steriod/tanning addictions. All the money he makes should be going to help the poor kid his idiot son almost killed.
I won't buy anything he hawks. Hogan and his family needs to go away.
Uh..pumice? They still make Lava soap, Hulkster, so you can throw that "new handcleaner" dream away any time now. By the way, you ain't no Billy Mays. Billy visits me in my dreams and first he does all my laundry with OxyClean and then yells while we have hot infomercial sex. Sigh.
"What's your motto?" "Kill everyone NOW"
Damn, I still miss good Ol' Billy Mays. His amped up commercials made me smile.
+1
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Submitted by Midwestocean on Tue, 07/27/2010 - 12:40pm.
I'm just going to say it...what the is up with Holk Hogan's tit?
I think his boob is just a victim of bad lighting
I'm just going to say it...what the is up with Holk Hogan's tit?
A hand cleanser with pumice? Isn't that the ingredient in most heavy-duty hand cleaners?
@jazzy
Jerry!! Jerry!!
Your avies make my issues worse. Like a kiddie-crush on the Hulkster isn`t bad enough, your avies make me question every day, if i may be Team Fish....
I fixed dinner, i get bottom. I called it!!
So Terry's a coked-up hawker of shoddy household products.
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Here There Be Dragons!
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I'm more concerned with Hulk's left breast...it wants to hug his arm pit
Coma Caca!
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Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Tue, 07/27/2010 - 12:07pm.
*hides in shame*
Yes, i have issues.
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Wow, you just shot right past Oprah, waved to Maury and landed on Jerry Springer.
Fuck off Terry! You're no Billy Mays, the only thing you have in common is you both lived in the Tampa Bay Area.
Dumbass.
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Curtsy, motherfuckers! MK
*patents Hulk Hogan moon throw pillows*
*sells to dlisted thread*
*becomes millionaire and retires*
billy's passing "kind of left a hole" in my masturbation regimen. dude was hot.
Are Hulk's moobs collapsing?
Uncle, I hear you, I did too, yikes. Tbf, the late 80s/early 90s WWF *sideeyes WWE* shows & characters were damn good.
Have his two sons & ex-wife spent his retirement fund already?
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"In other news, the University of Color Me Surprised released a report today which states that water is indeed wet. Mind. Boggled" - Michael K, who else?
how he hasn't been afflicted with stage 4 Melanoma (not that I'm wishing it on him) is beyond me.
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and I was helping children in Morocco, it wasn't like a vacation...
I live a block over from his old compound in Clearwater and used to encounter him and his wife on numerous occasions out front and at the local dock and bar. Linda is ok but a little squirrelly. Hulk is really down to earth and cool. I still believe he got a really raw deal with the son crashing the car. It's easy to say he should have done this or should have done that, but once a kid gets behind the wheel of a high performance car sometimes their boyhood hormonal tendencies start kicking in and there aint nothing mom or dad can do about it.
i'd much rather see that crackhead woman biter shamwow guy shill products than the steroided hulkster...
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sit your $5 ass down before i make change...
That's because he passed on the idea to put his name on the Grill..now known as the "George Foreman Grill"..
well both the Hulk and Billy Mays are from Tampa (Central Crazy Florida)...so they have something in common..
Why can they just keep the new Australian guy? he is not that annoying..
"Canta y Encanta a tu Pueblo Tigresa"
Ok, D-listed confession time. When i was really little (age still in the single digits) i had a major crush on Hulk Hogan. He had this chick named Elisabeth (sp) at all his fights and i would fantasize that i was her....
*hides in shame*
Yes, i have issues.
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I fixed dinner, i get bottom. I called it!!
The only thing this clown could be a spokesman for is Hot Dog On A Stick. Because, let's face it, he's the color of a corndog.
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I ALMOST threw up my grilled cheese sandwich but with Jesus in your life, you can overcome anything. - boobxqueen on Octomom's Star cover
Fuck no.
Billy Mays had a Pittsburgh accent.
That's what made him so obnoxious.
what the hell is up with Hulk's moob?
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►I'm a free bitch, baby◄
"Why doesn't anybody think of the sluts?!!!" MK
"Terry brings decades’ worth of charisma and credibility to the marketplace."
- This needs elaborating, "credibility"?, for what exactly?
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I hate you but I'm not in hate with you.
Dead?
Maybe he can sell some to Brooke so she can slough off that dick of hers.
Sarah R. beat me to it: OMG he has a big dented man boob! It's like a Picasso tit.
Hmm...I could kinda see him screaming about pumice cleaner...and then ripping his shirt off to get his point across. *nods*
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Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil.
omg, look at Hulk's tit
You are so hot, let's get crazy, do some coke
-Pat O'Brien
Here's what I am going to do, I am going to read up on how to be a Buddhist, and I am gonna pray to Buddha that he is going to reincarnate me so when I kill myself I can come back and be cool as
fuck like you.
I LOVE THIS...ANYTHING TO PUT MONEY IN HIS EMPTY WALLET!