Robert Palmer Is Not Amused

Vh1 is saying that Tiger Woods' head side-piece Rachel Uchitel is checking into Celebrity Rehab, because she's got an addiction to pills. But UsWeekly says this isn't so. Their source claims that Rachel is going to sit opposite Dr. Drew to cry about how she's addicted to love. Basically, bitch has a chronic case of dickmatization and homewreckeritis. "Addicted to love" is the G-rated way of saying that the ho is adickted to fucking on married peen.

The source explains, "She is not an addict. She doesn't do drugs and isn't an alcoholic, but she does have problems with relationships. This is her chance to tell her story and show people another side of herself."

I think I speak for the people when I say that we don't need to see anymore sides to her ass! I'm sure half of the straight male population has already seen every side, front and back of Rachel, so the rest of us are good. They took our servings, and we're okay with that.

But seriously, Rachel disappoints me so. I really thought she was going to be the classic kind of whore who takes her hush money and gallops off to a horse farm far away forever. But now she's proving that she is replacing her thirst for celebrity dick with a thirst for attention.

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by Sexy Pants on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 9:09pm.

Rachel and her metallic lip gloss need a Whores 101 crash course...MK, why don't you teach this through University of Phoenix online?!

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"Regular people pay for birthday cakes, you idiotic pig with the self-entitlement of a billion Kanyes." -MK

Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 8:46pm.

& I think it's not just stretching out her 15 minutes in our collective grills she's after. After reading that NYT piece on her, I think she sees all of this as making the most money while the going is good & while she's a newsworthy/whoreworthy commodity. The article talked about how she believed she was told old (I agree) to go back to working the VIP ho bag circuit, so getting paid while she's "hot" in the media in her mind is the equivalent of an athlete negotiating for as much money while he/she is still fit & young enough to play at peak performance. No lie, hometrick is hardcore serious about her "profession."

Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 8:42pm.

oh.MAN that mouth could tuck away 6 pairs o' testicles & their respective snausages :O

Submitted by KeyLimePie on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 8:02pm.

With those teef, she belongs with Tiger.

Submitted by QueenieBK on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 5:14pm.

Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 1:45pm.

Bummer. I imagine he wouldn't have been very old when it happened. Sad :(
====
he was 54.

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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley

Submitted by Infamous on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 5:08pm.

who cares about this crazy bitch! I cannot belive she is set for life because she fucks married men SMH

www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous

Submitted by karen on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 3:45pm.

you know damn well this bitch is a whore and a pill head. her pussy must be tight or she got tiger on video tape for 10 million.

Submitted by copacabanagirl on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 2:36pm.

Just think, this dope got a cool ten million for her troubles with Tiger Woods, and poor Oksana gets smackdown, below the belt insults, a kick in rear end and probably an upcoming smear campaign to threaten her child custody for all her troubles with Mel Gibson.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuqL74C6KI8&playnext_from=TL&videos=Md911...

"Bunny boiler is now part of our language, and I'm proud of that." ~Glenn Close~

Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 2:19pm.

According to TMZ she is just going because she has a major crush on Dr. Drew.. and i guess when he had a personal sitdown with her, she figured the feeling is mutual... poor delusional "twisted whiskers" looking bitch.
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I fixed dinner, i get bottom. I called it!!

Submitted by Whatever on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 2:17pm.

She is addicted to screwing men for money. Shame on Drew for paying this whore. If she is looking to garner some sympathy from the public she is wasting her time.

Submitted by Stan Hooper on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 2:04pm.

Seems money can't buy you love, but it would buy you a nice set of choppers, tits and brand new facial features.

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She's a fameasexual. Bitch will lick on anything if it gets her a blurb in Star Magazine. -- Michael K.

Submitted by Message In A Bottle on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 1:57pm.

What's next..."love" rehab? Gimme a fucking break! No one cares to hear her side of the story because there's absolutely no justification or reasoning for being a homewrecking whore.

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If you shoved a vuvuzela into a dog's ass and asked him to fart into a fan, the sound he produces would be more pleasant to the ears than this shit! - Michael K

Submitted by chinlee3 on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 1:44pm.

More like addicted to self with a healthy dose of can't say NO and dollar signs in the eyes!!

Submitted by dlaugher on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 1:32pm.

Submitted by icallbs on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 1:51pm.
epic fail

you stole the words out of my mouth.
oh vey.

Submitted by Vermithrax on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 1:18pm.

Skank.

Submitted by SkyBitch on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 1:12pm.

Wow, look at those chompers! Wasn't Tiger terrified to put his peen in that mouf???

☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠
BIGGEST COMPLIMENT EVER:
"skybitch, you are one of most disgusting posters here ever. period."

Submitted by Supreme Soviet on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 12:53pm.

It's really sad about her fiance, BUT-
how many other widows, etc. of 9/11 became such overt attention whores who could suck start a Harley?

~~~~~~~
It is possible blondes also prefer gentlemen. -Mamie Van Doren

Submitted by OXA on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 12:22pm.

Dr Drew should have started a new show and called it "Whore Rehab" as he would have had more credibility.

Submitted by icallbs on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 12:21pm.

epic fail by trump and dr. drew both. no one gives a rat's ass about this whore. shoving her into the limelight further is only going to make us sick(er) of all of you.

btw, mk, your tags are the best.

Submitted by parkerj on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 12:19pm.

Her chompers make up like half her face.

Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 12:15pm.

Submitted by QueenieBK on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 12:51pm.

Bummer. I imagine he wouldn't have been very old when it happened. Sad :(

OT: I hate this smug, slutty bitch.
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Douchechill!

Submitted by darlingjulie on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 12:05pm.

Put the sunglasses back on

Submitted by angel_i on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 12:01pm.

Hello?! I don't care if this woman has problems UNLESS SHE'S AN ADDICT! NEEEEEEEEXT!!!

♥ Threadkilla!
To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid,
you must also be well-mannered. ~Voltaire
Hot for Words!: Filibuster
http://www.youtube.com/user/hotforwords#p/u/7/V1_kwlhh_hg

Submitted by Sweetas on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 11:48am.

Those frickin CHOMPERS! I'll bet when she and Tiger kissed it sounded like cymbals crashing. They probably had to wear mouth guards to 69.

Submitted by DeeDee on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 11:46am.

Rachel suffers from a classic case of Attentionwhoreitis. I don't think the cure for this problem is putting the bitch on TV! Dr. Drew's license should be revoked.

Submitted by iHeartHaters on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 11:43am.

This bitch got a mouth like an Osmond.

~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~
http://www.careerbuilder.com/monk-e-mail/

Submitted by Bowchickawawa on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 11:42am.

Tiredofthiscrap, why do you say she's a coke addict so decidedly? Perhaps you know her or someone close to her and have access to info the rest of us don't but I do not get the cokehead vibe from her. Her complexion looks too healthy and her figure too rounded. I've never known a cokehead with nice skin and her body is banging, in my opinion. A pill addiction I would believe however. Maybe Vicodin? Maybe Ambien since she was providing Tiger with them and that crazy Ambien sex? The makers of Ambien must love Tiger and all the free publicity. They should send him a thank you basket filled with samples.
If she didn't have the huge veneers, she would be pretty.

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"And people try to tell me that God wasn't high on the good shit when he made this place" -by angel_i

Submitted by Anonymous Q on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 11:38am.

This ho is not pretty at all. Surprisingly, I haven't seen the rest of her body so I don't know what that looks like. What the hell makes these celeb men go after her? And how I can get some so I can have an affair and then be paid millions to keep quiet about it?

Submitted by elmo533 on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 11:37am.

Twenty bucks this sausage (iPhone typo and it stays) goes on the show whining about how her fiance was killed in the September 11th attacks and since then she can't help but find bad men and get in bad relationships. Just reworking her image so that she can join the likes of KimK and Paris Hilton; famous for nothing.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
"Whoever it is needs to come down to the subways in NYC in August. With every ho wearing flip-flops, it sometimes smells like a family of horseflies died in a 2-week-old pot of fondue." MK

Submitted by portlandgirl on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 11:36am.

just yesterday i was wondering: "why does she ALWAYS wear those godawful aviaters?" i mean, with everything.. while swimming.. at the airport... in the dark.

i think this picture answers my question. i don't think i had ever seen her actual face before today!!!! and i hope this is the last time.

Submitted by QueenieBK on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 11:21am.

Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 12:43pm.

Robert Palmer is dead??
===========
Yes - he died in 2003 in Paris - he had a sudden heart attack.

I saw him live a couple times - he was awesome.

And meanwhile no-talents still roam the earth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley

Submitted by cprincess on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 11:22am.

What an attention ho slut....
hey-not to insult horses but can someone feed those teeth some sugar lumps and carrots and maybe she will do as MK says and gallop off into the sunset so we dont have to look at her....
Im sure Elin Nordegren would pay for the supplies...
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"

Submitted by Am on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 11:16am.

She's down with 'O.P.P." I think that song is more appropriate than the late Robert Palmer classic.

Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 11:13am.

Submitted by Anonymous101 on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 12:15pm.
Le Sigh. Poor Robert Palmer is probably rolling in his grave from being mentioned in the same post as this trick. How could you, MK?? :(

Robert Palmer is dead??

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Douchechill!

Submitted by Ms. Duckie on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 11:13am.

Quite honestly, I can't for the life of me figure out how she gets so much celebrity jizz. She's sort of unfortunate looking. Just imagine what she looks like without all that teeth bleaching, caked on make-up and trips to the hairsalon. It must be her personality then.

Submitted by TiredofthisCrap on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 11:05am.

Sheesh she's really a coke head, she looks like one. I guess you can;t get on Celebrity Apprentice being an addict, so they are trying to clean this bitch up. Once a whore, always a whore.

I love Tiger so much, I extorted several million dollars from him.

Submitted by Supreme Soviet on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 11:04am.

MIGHT AS WELL FACE IT- YOU'RE ADDICTED TO DICKS.

~~~~~~~
It is possible blondes also prefer gentlemen. -Mamie Van Doren

Submitted by Mabel Hodges on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 11:01am.

She looks addicted to veneers.

~~~
Love,
Mabel

How little we understand what touches off that tingle,
That sudden explosion when two tingles intermingle. --Mrs. Kravitz

Submitted by caprica six on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 10:59am.

Submitted by QueenieBK on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 12:21pm.

I should have internet access back up and running at work tomorrow ... wait, I BETTER have internet access back up and running at work tomorrow!

*crosses fingers*
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llool. The preparatory checklist of all checklists:

1. Liquor
2. Lan connection
3. Wifi connection
4. Wifi hotspot nearby in case some freak building power shit happens
5. cell phone
6. direct linkup to office server (requires confidential access code to server room and the will to accept a possible firing from job)
7. Dlisted and you peeps
8. 'screen print' functionality for all the magical faces of doom she might make
9. more Liquor
10. bedpan so that you don't have to leave the livefeed for potty stuff

Did I miss anything?

_____________________________________________

"Fuck an ugly man! Fuck the jacuzzi why don't YOU!! *HEAVES HEAVES SIGHS GROANS* YOU took MYY SOUUULLL!!" - Mel "I need a woman" Gibson, 7/13

Submitted by Nicole on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 10:58am.

Talk about a butterface, damn
No wonder Tiger was on Ambien to have sex with that equine

http://www.bringmitricehome.org/

Submitted by Pamela on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 10:57am.

This needs a bitch please tag and Im sure someone has already said that. Will this bitch just fade into oblivion already!

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Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm

damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!

Submitted by boredasfuckyo on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 10:56am.

She has extremely large teeth. Obviously she was not going down on Tiger Woods. Because he would not have a penis left. That or she gave him an at home vesectomy. Not that I'm complaining about that.
____________________________________________

Please get the fuck out ---->

Submitted by caprica six on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 10:54am.

Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 12:20pm.

cappy: tomorrow should be fun!!!
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OMG Snowpiece, we're all banding together, and this site alone will probs bring the servers down LMAO. I hope MK has cams personally set up for the walk of shame. And, by God, let nothing hamper the glorious moment! 2012 can fking hold off and wait til this mess comes to fruition tomorrow lol

_____________________________________________

"Fuck an ugly man! Fuck the jacuzzi why don't YOU!! *HEAVES HEAVES SIGHS GROANS* YOU took MYY SOUUULLL!!" - Mel "I need a woman" Gibson, 7/13

Submitted by QueenieBK on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 10:51am.

Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 12:20pm.
cappy: tomorrow should be fun!!!

Submitted by caprica six on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 12:17pm.
Is it Tuesday (aka DDay for Lilo) yet?

ONT: This horse reminds me of lilo in every way
================
I should have internet access back up and running at work tomorrow ... wait, I BETTER have internet access back up and running at work tomorrow!

*crosses fingers*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley

Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 10:50am.

cappy: tomorrow should be fun!!!

****************************
►I'm a free bitch, baby◄
"Why doesn't anybody think of the sluts?!!!" MK

Submitted by caprica six on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 10:47am.

Is it Tuesday (aka DDay for Lilo) yet?

ONT: This horse reminds me of lilo in every way

_____________________________________________

"Fuck an ugly man! Fuck the jacuzzi why don't YOU!! *HEAVES HEAVES SIGHS GROANS* YOU took MYY SOUUULLL!!" - Mel "I need a woman" Gibson, 7/13

Submitted by Soultonic on Mon, 07/19/2010 - 10:45am.

Big mistake....doesn't she realize this show is for has-beens? She's a filthy gold-digging home-wrecker and at the moment she's on top of her fucked up game. She should do Celeb Apprentice and show people she's got mad business skills and show she has her head up. Maybe she does belong on that show with the other dumb asses.

*************
Don't hate me cause I'm DLeautiful