Did Cristiano Ronaldo Buy His Baby For $15 Million?
If you ever ask Cristiano Ronaldo who the mother of his love child is, he'll pull out his tube of MAC Lip Glass and seal the secret of her identity in his precious mouth forever. Crispy isn't saying shit, but the Daily Mirror is! They claim that Crispy's baby mama is a broke ass American waitress who got knocked up after a one-night fuck with him. Actually, she WAS a broke ass American waitress, because apparently Crispy gave her $15 million to give him their son before going away FOREVER.
Becoming a cocktail waitress who fucks celebrities has officially become the new American dream! Parents and school guidance counselors should adjust their lessons accordingly.
A friend of Crispy's says that his son was conceived in Los Angeles last summer. The friend also gave the truly romantic details of the magical night Crispy spread his charm all over the future mother of his child. May the theme from the Thorn Birds fill your head as you read this:
“Ronni looked the girl in the eye and said extremely directly: ‘Me, you, f*** f***.’“She was taken aback and just said: ‘What!’ She didn’t actually understand what he meant. She was totally nonplussed
“The window by his table was steamed up, so he drew a love heart on it with his finger. Then he said, ‘Me, you, kiss,’ and the penny dropped.
“That’s typical Ronni – he pretends his English is terrible when it suits him, and he comes straight to the point. It was just yet another one-night stand and Ronnie assumed he would never see her again.”
"Me, you, fuck fuck" is my new pick-up line. Crispy has the right idea. We need to all go back to the cave man days when shit was simple. When a bitch sees a hot piece they want to break off, they should just hobble up to that ho and grunt "ME, YOU, FUCK FUCK" before clubbing them over the head with a dildo to drag them up to their tree house. Caveman love is the truest!
A couple of months after Crispy seduced the trick as though they were starring in the porn version of Tarzan and Jane, she found out she was pregnant. The saga continues:
It was agreed that Ronaldo would give DNA for a paternity test once the baby was born and provide support for the mother and child if it proved to be his.The friend revealed: “Cristiano was told the result while he was away at the World Cup.”And then Dolores stepped in. The friend said: “Ronni is a multi-millionaire playboy, but when it comes to family, he’s very much his mother’s son.
“They are a close-knit, traditional Roman Catholic family and the minute paternity was established there was absolutely no doubt that Ronni would be doing the right thing.
What in the hell kind of GD Roman Catholic is Dolores? Any self-respecting strict Roman Catholic mother would force the couple to marry in a church wedding! Then they would all hide the baby for the next 9 months while the American waitress pretended to be pregnant. After her fake birth, they'd present the 9-month-old baby as a newborn and explain that he's bigger than normal due to a thyroid problem or something. How does Dolores not know this?! Doesn't she watch telenovelas (aka daily mass)?! My abuelita is throwing her a "Ay Dios Mio" side-eye of judgment as I type this.
• 
Ladies and gentlemen,
Here I'm gonna introduce an online store, http://www.shoes2.us/
There are thousands of Female supplies in this website.
Brand handbags,clothing,shoes,boots,watches,sunglasses,scarf,necklaces rings and so on.
Dear girls, i promise you can have a pleasure shopping journey here,
And dear guys, you also can choose some products as presents for your friends (especially for girlfriends)!
LV handbags &42
Chanel handbags $42
Versace handbags &38
Gucci handbags $42
Prada handbags $45
LV boots $52
high BOOT woman from$52
Roca women jeans $39
Nike women hoody $50
Cartier necklace $18
Dior necklace $18
......
Best regards for you all,
Looking forward to your visiting.
http://www.shoes2.us/
LOL, this fool is my new hero. He's on my facebook like list now, I'll see if he'll talk dirty with me.
Me, you, fucky, fucky, you can't buy this shit.
I believe most of this story except for this:
Not a friend leaking story but Crispy himself or PR staff, Crispy don't play that shit when it comes to his "personal business". He makes bitches sign confidentiality agreements. No way someone close leaked the story. Especially with all that " Good Catholic" mumbo jumbo. They are trying to hide something.
I'm thinking there's a problem about the mama's real occupation, now that may be the shit they are REALLY trying to cover up. I don't think she's a waitress. Men don't up and snatch a child from the mother unless they think she's unfit.
hello everyone,im wholesale supplier online
Welcome to our website http://www.fashionclothe.com
accept paypal credit card
We need your support and trust!!!
Dear friends, please temporarily stop your footsteps
To our website Walk around A look at
Maybe you'll find happiness in your sight shopping heaven and earth
You'll find our price is more suitable for you.
===== http://www.fashionclothe.com ========
@lurker - for Catholics, sessy times is NOT FOR FUN. ONLY FOR MAKING BABIES. AND ONLY IF YOU IS MARRIED!!!! ALSO IT MUST BE ONLY A MAN AND A WOMAN IN THE BED, LIGHTS MUST BE OFF, MAN MUST BE ON TOP AND YOU MUST MAKE IT AS QUICK AS POSSIBLE.
Otherwise it is a sin. This is because more Catlick babehs = more $$ for the Church. So no condoms.
*marches lurker into confessional*
On second thought, "Me You Fuck Fuck $15 Million" works even better for me.
LOL I'll bet that waitress's favorite movie is "It Could Happen to You".
"Me You Fuck Fuck" works for me. Although wouldn't "Me You Fuck" work just as well? Saves time too - you can get to the festivities that much sooner.
And if you're really in a hurry, try "Fuck?"
He's got a head like a turtle.
Submitted by Miguel123 on Sun, 07/18/2010 - 3:25pm
Submitted by Ninne on Sun, 07/18/2010 - 3:05pm
He lives in Spain and will be living there until his contract runs out. He hasn't lived in Portugal since he was 17. Even during off season he only spends a few weeks there.
“They are a close-knit, traditional Roman Catholic family and the minute paternity was established there was absolutely no doubt that Ronni would be doing the right thing."
In my close-knit, traditional Episcopalian family we would have just told the girl to have an abortion.
So let's put it all together. "Me, you, fuck fuck. BUT FIRST YOU WILL BLOW ME! AAAAaaahhhhh!!"
Then burst into tears like Lindsay in court.
-Einah
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Sun, 07/18/2010 - 9:41pm.
"Me you fuck fuck."
That's how I get half my dates.
Pray tell, how do you get the other half?
*******************************************************************
"LiLo is talking like she has swam out of the Jack Daniels bottle, hiked past the coke mountains, dove off of a crack spoon and is now ready to be someone's sponsor or something." -MK 2/22/10
Submitted by kokoskitten on Sun, 07/18/2010 - 10:05pm.
he should just go with the universal sticking the dominant index figer into a hole by the other hand sign that I think most people would get...or he could furiously bob up and down on a straw on hos (typo that stays) drink, or make an obscene jesture with that...why have any conversation??
===============
LOL!!
============================================
...the end
he should just go with the universal sticking the dominant index figer into a hole by the other hand sign that I think most people would get...or he could furiously bob up and down on a straw on hos (typo that stays) drink, or make an obscene jesture with that...why have any conversation??
_______________________________
and I was helping children in Morocco, it wasn't like a vacation...
"Me you fuck fuck."
That's how I get half my dates.
***************************************
Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe for "Heaux Confessionals©", delivered to your inbox and other holes:
xadesmultimedia@gmail.com
I've heard that " I hate condoms" line a couple times, and then pulled out the "oh, I just got my period" line as to not deal...possibly, this chick had failed birth control...and her pills/IUD/whatever failed BUT more than likely she didn't give a fuck, neither did he and she saw dollar signs.
_______________________________
and I was helping children in Morocco, it wasn't like a vacation...
Any guy who isn't homeless or on welfare needs to wear a condom while fucking anyone other than his wife.
The end.
_________________________________
"I can resist everything but temptation."
Submitted by Bossy on Sun, 07/18/2010 - 6:15pm.
What you said. A "Catholic" celebrity shouldn't be held up as someone who actually represents this stuff, any more than the monarchs from past centuries should have been. So peeps, cool off the Catholic hate. His FAMILY is tight knit and Catholic, doesn't mean he follows the rules.
And no, a Catholic family isn't supposed to make a guy marry a onetime fling because it will end in divorce. The idea is: better to deal with your past mistakes than to make a marital one deliberately.
*********
I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
I'm European and it's true... In my favorite country, Italy, it really sometimes works the way "you and me, f*** f***". It's a bit less direct but after 2 minutes of conversation you can listen to: "You and me go to the beach." or "You and me go to the hotel."
This direct way is more honest than having lunch and dinner first like it's common in the US. I prefer the (sometimes) Italian way.
http://i612.photobucket.com/albums/tt203/rov_01/funny%20gif/2rc5r2u.gif
Juss sayin'....
_______________________________________________
Let me dirty up your mind.
Shame on Tabloid reporters for not yet publishing a photo of that ho. I think she would have probably gotten a lot more with child support and shitz like that.
He's 25, in the prime of his career, and is a playboy...WHY would he want a surrogate baby for $15 mil? I know you all want to claim he's gay and he's pulling a Ricky Martin but I just don't see the logic. Ricky was 36 when he got those kids and the height of his career was behind him. The story of a one-night stand with an American and her agreeing to give up the baby (like some of you said, if it had been with another person she might have given it up for adoption if she, didn't want a baby--assuming she was around his age that's possible--same thing here but with money involved) seems more likely.
Submitted by Daniee on Sun, 07/18/2010 - 5:59pm.
The "RIGHT" thing? Paying people off and having kids be raised without their own mother is right or Catholic now?!
**********************************************
A mother who is willing to SELL their child has no business having a child at all. I guarantee that CR Jr. is much better off. People have unprotected sex all the time. Is it smart or the "right" (whatever THAT means) thing to do? Of course not. But the sex is irrelevant. What really matters is what happens to the child, and in this case, I think the child will be alright. Especially without his "mother".
***********************************************
And I hear your words that I made up. You say my name like there could be an us. I'd best tidy up my head I'm the only one in love, I'm the only one in love.
Adele, "Heart to Stone"
You guys need to cool it with the Catholic hate. This is ONE guy, he doesn't not represent Catholicism and everything you think is wrong with it. So he shouldn't have had pre-marital sex in the first place or you think he should have used birth control, whatever the case the damage is done, there's a kid now.
If that "mother" signed off on the baby for $15 mil then maybe it is a better end result. Either she sold the kid because she wanted the money or because she thought he would be better off with the rich father. Whatever the case, even if Ronaldo doesn't have much to do with the kid he seems to have an extensive family who will take care of the baby.
The "RIGHT" thing? Paying people off and having kids be raised without their own mother is right or Catholic now?! Religion is completely fucked,still.
I don't buy this shit anyway. This could be made up cause
1. He is Gay or
2. Girl is underage.
Note to Cristiano-it's only the right thing if you actually SEE your child. Anyway, this sounds plausible to me.
I would totally let him fuck fuck me.
***********************************************
And I hear your words that I made up. You say my name like there could be an us. I'd best tidy up my head I'm the only one in love, I'm the only one in love.
Adele, "Heart to Stone"
The Mr.Koko is always saying (when he's not in the gutter smoking) that if he was going to bang a dude it would be Cristian...I'm appalled by his choice. I don't think there's that much 'hot' about him...
_________________________
and I was helping children in Morocco, it wasn't like a vacation...
♫I'm right I'm right!♪ I'm right I'm right I'm right!♪ *happy dances* I knew it!
And,btw, SHE's not ashamed. That's projection. His fambly's ashamed FOR her. But not for him cuz he's a guy. And he made a baby! They're PROUD of him! LOL!
♥ Threadkilla!
To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid,
you must also be well-mannered. ~Voltaire
Hot for Words!: Filibuster
http://www.youtube.com/user/hotforwords#p/u/7/V1_kwlhh_hg
The jury is still out for me regarding the validity of this story.
N.Y...Jersey...Philly
Submitted by Kerfuffles on Sun, 07/18/2010 - 1:44pm.
True. And it really doesn't help when the Pope tours poverty and AIDS-ridden african countries telling people not to wear condoms.
=========
The old man and I are Catholic and we think his stance on that is bullshit too.
We had a missionary visit our old church a few years ago, and he said that African Catholics will practically bankrupt themselves during Lent to buy fish (which is very expensive in Africa) to comply with Lenten rules (no meat on Fridays). He was telling them to not bother if they couldn't afford it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
No birth control is the RC way to control the wimmens and their bodies for themselves. More babies, more Roman Catholics. It worked very well for three hundred years in RC Quebec, Canada. And now Quebeckers tend to not get married, with kids or not and they do not got church very much. The key is always in education.
Too many holes in the story.
1. If he really wanted to do "the right thing" he would have married her. (Not that *I* think it's the right thing, but those religious types do,.)
1. Like Uncle Brain-Fart said: Who gets the name and number of a one-night stand?
2. The whole devoted Catholic thing just proves how deep in the closet he is. If he's a Catholic mama's boy footballer, he's stuck in there. Are you aware of how many gay closeted Catholics there are? His mother would rather admit that her son is a one-night-standing playboy sinner than a ghey.
Submitted by not shocked on Sun, 07/18/2010 - 3:18pm.
Oh wow. I was thinking this story seemed far-fetched. It's funny that this little hub of DListed is full of people who see through bullshit and actually live in the real world. This shit will come out as we talk to our friends, their friends, and so on. By next year he'll be out ala Ricky Martin. You can't hide from DListed Sluts forever!
-----------------------------------------------
"But I don't speak liarmouthcuntanese. So who the fuck knows."
Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on Tue, 07/13/2010 - 7:40pm.
@ Salacious
Me, you, fuck fuck. ♥
Submitted by TITS on Sun, 07/18/2010 - 2:41pm.
~~~
Haha, caught! :P
********
"In other news, the University of Color Me Surprised released a report today which states that water is indeed wet. Mind. Boggled" - Michael K, who else?
"Although part of me thinks she could have made more off of child support for the next 18 years, but then again I don't know Spain's laws and if the US could make him do shit."
He is from Portugal
If the child is from San Diego where I am located, I can tell you for a fact that San Diego is the capital of IVF, egg donor agencies, surrogacy agencies, private and third-party adoption agencies for the gheys and crazy straight heteropsychos who cannot adopt thru normal means. I worked with 3 women who got paid to carry kids for people, one is currently preggo with twins that she is carrying for a crazy barren new age weirdo who consults cards and psychics about the babies and is blurring the boundaries of the surrogate-parent relationship. One of the women I know had carried for a high-profile 'individual' about 2 years ago and never met the person, was paid to pump and express mail to NYC frozen vacuum sealed breast milk on dry ice for 4 months after the birth. She made $150K, but I am sure if you learn the identity of your parent you could do some damaging black mail, etc. I think alot of celebs fake being pregnant and produce a kid for the paps within 6 weeks to show off their post baby bodies making everyone think they really birthed and dieted/pilated their way back to a bikini body.
I'm still getting a Ricky Martin vibe from this.
***************************************
"Now is not the time for your judgments when we're about to be impaled by raw vegetables."
Submitted by stake_spike on Sun, 07/18/2010 - 2:30pm.
You'd want to lknow Portugal's laws. Not Spain's.
"clubbing them over the head with a dildo" HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Congrats to the Daily Mail on a well constructed story. That would indeed make him look like a playboy with a heart of gold, but just from looking at Crissy's antics we know that's not going to fly. Well, he might, as the natural-born butterfly that he is, but the story won't.
"ME, YOU, FUCK, FUCK" is the phrase that pays. Thank you MK.
----
"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
Submitted by carefreea on Sun, 07/18/2010 - 2:09pm.
In this economy...
No, not even jokingly can I get my head around selling my baby for so little.
*
so you're saying there is a price?
yeah, you walked into that one. *wink*
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Internet fakers: http://tinyurl.com/y94sh4m http://bit.ly/1rcnEc
I don't know why people find it so hard to believe there's a smart slutty whore out there. Why tell Star magazine for $10,000 when you can blackmail the bastard into giving you $15mil?
And who's to know if this chick even wanted children. Young girls (and I have no doubt this chick was young, who else would fall for a lame ass line like that and why else would she [and him] be wanting to keep this shit discreet?) give their kids up for adoption. it's not like it's unheard of. There are women out there who can do it I suppose. And hey for $15mil? Who knows maybe she knew it was for the best, the kid could have a better life. We don't know the details of their "agreement". Maybe she can see him once a year.
Although part of me thinks she could have made more off of child support for the next 18 years, but then again I don't know Spain's laws and if the US could make him do shit.
"Me, You, Fuck, Fuck"? Real classy, blech.
LMFAO Koko... sometimes the dick is just so good, you gotta put a ring on it.... HA!
*Pulls folding lawnchair in gutter, grabs cold one*
---------------------------------------------------
I fixed dinner, i get bottom. I called it!!
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Sun, 07/18/2010 - 2:14pm.
What i dont understand is how do these people stay in touch? Back in my days, i had a few one night stands and i NEVER even tried to exchange numbers or whatever after that. Actually i tried to be out the door before the guy woke up. (or kick him right out of my house afterwards).
Ok, one time i DID exchange numbers afterwards. We have been married 11 years.........
______________________________________
My marriage is a product of a one nighter as well !
*Goes back to gutter with the smokers*
_________________________________________
and I was helping children in Morocco, it wasn't like a vacation...
I would love to meet MK's abuelita, but I'm pretty sure she would smack me in my whorish mouth with a handful of rings.
Ha! Pearl Necklace, i was thinking the same exact thing. That bitch only got probably 20 dollars from Vanity Fair to share her awful story about her tampon this one got 15 MILLION~
OOOOOHHHHHH had she waited 14 days!!! Jackpot!! Ovulation!!
=========
She's a fameasexual. Bitch will lick on anything if it gets her a blurb in Star Magazine. -- Michael K.
Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Sun, 07/18/2010 - 1:42pm.
The fact that she did a one nighter with some dude she was serving at a bar celebs frequent says that she's not some hayseed fresh off the truck who was scared of what the Fundie parents and neighbors might say back in buttfuck nowhere. Chris wanted a kid without the hassle of a babymama or having to be married and monogamous so he forked over the coin to a rent-a-womb.
What i dont understand is how do these people stay in touch? Back in my days, i had a few one night stands and i NEVER even tried to exchange numbers or whatever after that. Actually i tried to be out the door before the guy woke up. (or kick him right out of my house afterwards).
Ok, one time i DID exchange numbers afterwards. We have been married 11 years.........
---------------------------------------------------
I fixed dinner, i get bottom. I called it!!
Any form of birth control is considereed 'preventing a life' so all BC is a "sin" in Catholicism. I grew up Catholic unfortunately. Just another crazy ass religion with effed up beliefs.
~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~
http://www.careerbuilder.com/monk-e-mail/
Liberace just rolled over in his coffin and said "Girlfriend, please"
Waitress Schmaitress.