Javier Bardem And Penny Cruz Have Been Married Forever!
Well, this is one way to choke out the lezzie rumors. Tommy Girl's former face merkin Penny Cruz and Javier Bardem (or Javier BarDAYUM as my horny old auntie calls him) became husband and wife in the Bahamas almost two weeks ago. By Hollywood's standards, two weeks is forever so my headline is still factual (not really). Penny's spokeswhore confirms the news to the Associated Press and says that it was a tiny wedding with only la familia present.
The most surprising part of this shit is that as soon as Penny slipped the wedded cock ring on Javier (it's the only way to go), the news wasn't immediately transmitted via Twitter whale or some shit. There was no 10-page spread in ¡Hola! magazine. Bitches actually kept their lips shut. That means Salma Hayek's magnificent chichis have been keeping a secret for a while now. She has been looking a little tense in the nipples lately.
And while Penny and Javier were getting hitched on a beach in the Bahamas, her former employer Tommy Girl was down in his dungeon hitching his Scientolohole to a dick on a dude named Javier.
• 
hello everyone,im wholesale supplier online
Welcome to our website http://www.shoes2.us/
accept paypal credit card
We need your support and trust!!!
Dear friends, please temporarily stop your footsteps
To our website Walk around A look at
Maybe you'll find happiness in your sight shopping heaven and earth
You'll find our price is more suitable for you.
===== http://www.shoes2.us/ ========
Submitted by bluecat on Wed, 07/14/2010 - 5:56pm
I don't hate her but I don't like her either. Not sure why there's just something about her.
Are we sure Salma and her are still friends. Ever since Salma became the biggest soceity Queen in Paris, I haven't seen them together.
I have love these two since Jamon, Jamon. I am glad to see fairly normal people maintaining a relationship with very little fanfare. Hopefully, their marriage will last as long as their friendship/dating life.
While I don't hate, I don't like her. She's an average actress at best and her voice grates on my nerves.
Javier, on the hand, very very hot.
I'm glad they proved you can get married quietly without all the red carpet BS. They are well suited to each other, but I wanted him. Badly.
Congrats, anyway.
Submitted by agirl on Wed, 07/14/2010 - 10:08am.
Submitted by TOPANGA on Wed, 07/14/2010 - 8:51am.
P.S I really hope the bride was registered for Rosetta Stone-English
LMAO. She is definitely someone who plays up the accent for effect, even when she is not acting. So does her girlfriend Salma. It IS annoying, and pretentious. Y'all have been speaking English for HOW MANY YEARS now and you still can't pronounce ANYTHING intelligibly? Really?
------------
I say hats off to her and any others who are able to maintain their heritage despite the pressure to do otherwise. I'm from the Caribbean and I find it irritating when people from the islands go away and come back with full fledged American accents. SERIOUSLY!
When Americans and Britons come here and live for decades, besides a few pronunciations here there they still maintain their accent. Why shouldn't it be the other way around? And as far as I am concerned she is quite intelligible. *insert side eye here*
Submitted by boomsy: "...am I the only one that got really annoyed by 'Vicky Cristina Barcelona'? I HATE movies with female characters like that."
ME TOO. I did like the movie, but gah! all the women in it were unrealistic, like male fantasies, and spoke like they were in a David Mamet film.
Also, the way they pronounced Gaudi as "GOW-dee" instead of "Gow-DEE" bugged me like crazy. Didn't anyone in Barcelona CORRECT them? It's only the most famous thing about the place. Fucking IRRITATING.
I still want to see Penny come out with her true love Salema.
i never knew xavier existed before no country for old men. damn! he was truly frightening in that role. glad to see these two together and happy. maybe they'll make it.
These two make me hot and sweaty. Both of them. HOT and SWEATY. Where's the frickin' fan?
************
Ce n'est pas un pêché que d'être heureux~Coelho
I like it.
Don't normally care about celeb weds, but I'm quite happy about this. They seem perfectly suited for each other. Class act. Congrats!
Nothing is more important in this world than lookin' spiffy
I still like Javier, but I'm waiting for him to lose the weight. With the little bit of extra chunk on, whenever he smiles his face goes full on chipmunk. It's a little offputting/unattractive.
I am in the collective of people who like both of them. I could deal with being in a sandwich as long as he didn't smile too much.
I'll not lie...Javier is great to look at but I probably wouldn't hit it because he seems too...normal.
Congrats to both and I think this will actually last because they were best friends to begin with.
-----------------------------
He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
I have enough to re-name you Betty Crackwhore! - Submitted by TheBreakdown
Forced by the pressures of life, people of breath. Have you ever thought to make our lives easier ever?
=== You know, fashionable clothes can be adjusted people's taste? ====
Fashion clothes, fashion bags, different styles of clothing.
More styles and colors let you pick. Do not let the pressure overwhelm us.
Let us lead a life of ease. If you have other methods. Please share with us.
http://www.fashionclothe.com/index.asp
http://www.fashionclothe.com/products/SUNGLASSES-A-163-s-1.html
Mazel tov to a gorgeously talented couple!
This is two I can totally imagine having sex....
I loved him in "Before Night Falls" and her in Blow...
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
Submitted by Kerfuffles on Wed, 07/14/2010 - 8:21am.
Congrats! Love them both. The first time I've watched anything with Javier Bardem in it, he played fat, bald and bedridden, so I had a little bit of trouble adapting to the idea that he's hot because damn, he is. It was a fucking great role, anyway.
The Sea Inside, yeah that was a great movie. I looked him up after seeing the movie and it was like seeing pictures of a whole different person.
Proof that all the other celebs out there complaining about the paps and how they can't get away and say they need uber security for weddings (only to result in a zillion pictures on the web or a spread in a magazine) are all attention wh*res. Living a normal life is possible and these two showed that. Why didn't we know earlier, why weren't there paps? Because THEY didn't call them, all the other celebs do and pretend they don't. They will sell any part of their life for fame (weddings, new babies, divorces, sex tapes, etc.).
First Nadal, then the Spanish World Cup, now this. Where is it going to stop for Spain this summer? Felicitaciones a todos.
------------------------
Auri sacra fames
Glad they kept it classy and quiet; her voice grates me to no end, and am I the only one that got really annoyed by 'Vicky Cristina Barcelona'? I HATE movies with female characters like that.
**********************************************
Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
Good for Javier. I guess he was able to successfully de-program her from her days with Tommy Boy.
Good for them! Yes, I think he is more talented than her but they are both great, IMO (after all, how many foreigners have been Oscar's winners?). Anyway, it's nice to see two famous people not whoring themselves out. I hope their marriage lasts.
For some strange reason, I love these two and think this is awesome news.
What's wrong with me?
Eh, I like them together. Good for them.
*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*
Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
Snideychick sez:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bitch you stole my man!
I've want Javier since I saw him in Jamon, Jamon.
Javier is very sexy! Congratulations and hope that lasts!
Please, if there is a God, grant us one hour in bed with Javier!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
about as exciting
as an std test
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
"MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken"
- Louis Black
Submitted by TOPANGA on Wed, 07/14/2010 - 8:51am.
P.S I really hope the bride was registered for Rosetta Stone-English
LMAO. She is definitely someone who plays up the accent for effect, even when she is not acting. So does her girlfriend Salma. It IS annoying, and pretentious. Y'all have been speaking English for HOW MANY YEARS now and you still can't pronounce ANYTHING intelligibly? Really?
It reminds me of my Italian nonna (abuelita, for dlisters), who understood and spoke English *when it suited her*. It also makes me think of when Kathy Griffin said of Celine Dion that she "decides from minute to minute how FRENCH she's gonna be". LOL!
And speaking of accents, anyone else notice in those rants that Mel Gibson has almost no Australian acccent left...WTF?
Lord, I hope my niece and nephew don't call me their "horny old auntie."
Meh. He's an ugly-but-sexy beast. She's very short and so-so lookin' at best. I wish them well. Wonder if they'll invite Scarjo for a 3some?
Yeah they didn't whore themselves out for wedding publicity, because these two are actually actors, and not just celebrities.
At least they have the class to keep their personal sh*t private. So "Team Whatever It Is We're Celebrating".
It don't take much to get this here poster all worked up but BarDAYUM sure does .
i love that they didn't make it about the press, about self promotion. she is a real class act and a very talented performer. love them together!
I like these two, I hope they last. She is beautiful. hated Vanilla Sky, though, and what possessed her to shack up with Tommy Girl???
*******************************************************************
"Gallina vecchia fa bon brodo" ("The old hen makes the best soup")
- chef Lidia Bastianich
Congrats to both. They are great actors, well..he is anyway.. You can bet tsomehow HOLA will have this if they didn't alrady, if not, they will have an "at home with the Bardems" spread that takes up the whole issue. Two academy award winning actors from Spain who married each other with no covrage from Hola? Escandolo!!!
I've been to her boutique called Mango. Cute clothes but overpriced for what they are.
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 07/14/2010 - 8:57am.
Submitted by No Words: "I have such a crush on him. She, on the other hand, annoys the hell out of me. She looks like a baby bird, and her accent is irritating (and I usually find accents sexy)."
Are you me?
I suspect Javier is at least bi but probably homo but I still want to do sessy things with him.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Are you me? (:
That is exactly what I think of him, too.
ahahahahhaah "Javier BarDAYUM"
****************************
►I'm a free bitch, baby◄
"Why doesn't anybody think of the sluts?!!!" MK
LMAO @ El B!
****************************
►I'm a free bitch, baby◄
"Why doesn't anybody think of the sluts?!!!" MK
He is hot and talented...her?..mehhhh..
'Who was it who said: "Some of us are just great, some get greatness, and some have a grate thrust upon them"...?'
Mmm, I sense a baby annoucement coming.
Oh, and I agree with others who say she's over rated in the acting & looks dept.
Submitted by No Words: "I have such a crush on him. She, on the other hand, annoys the hell out of me. She looks like a baby bird, and her accent is irritating (and I usually find accents sexy)."
Are you me?
While I like her in most of the movies I've seen her in (except "Vanilla Sky" where I kept hoping someone would stab her), she is generally irritating to me.
I suspect Javier is at least bi but probably homo but I still want to do sessy things with him.
Could care less about these two but this how a marriage ceremony between two "famous" people should be, secret and sacred. Not all that look at how much we spent, my dress was made by so and so, the bride and groom and guest dined on, and then some spread in a cheap glossy mag or a special on Entertainment Tonight or the Insider. F- all that, just get married and keep it moving.
P.S I really hope the bride was registered for Rosetta Stone-English
"No One Makes Me Bleed My Own Blood!"
Yay. I like them. Can't hate.
**************************************************************
Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
Submitted by El Bastardo on Wed, 07/14/2010 - 8:35am.
We think Miss Bardem is homosexual with tiny meat. We wonder why hes marrying a fish?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Funny! (:
(see...I can't stand Mrs. Campbell, but you are cute!)
LOL@DWM I never wonder what other people smell like! I have trouble enough dealing with the dirty stinkbags I work with!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm
damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!
I have such a crush on him. She, on the other hand, annoys the hell out of me. She looks like a baby bird, and her accent is irritating (and I usually find accents sexy).
But good for them...they are not famewhores, which is a nice change of pace. *coughBrangelinacough*
Submitted by I heart Natalie on Wed, 07/14/2010 - 8:40am.
@el bastardo... you remind me of someone, but I can't put my finger on it
btw, it's not fair when you pull out that British wit of yours...
Just being stoopid. Afternoon off work! :)
Submitted by I heart Natalie on Wed, 07/14/2010 - 8:40am
LOL are you talking about the pic? Its Eddie Izzard I believe. My crazy cousin is obsessed with his ass. Follows him around the us to see his act.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm
damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!