The Best Decision Lindsay Lohan Has Ever Made
Shawn Chapman Holley ran out of different kinds of "bitch please" faces to make behind Lindsay Lohan's back, so she slipped a letter of resignation letter (which looked like this) under her door and never looked back. So LiLo traveled to the enchanted world of mythical wonderments to ask a Liberace centaur to fart a bubble out. When that bubble danced through the air, LiLo popped it and out dropped this gorgeous embodiment of all things magical! This is Stuart V. Goldberg (more like Stuart Very Orangeberg) and TMZ says he's LiLo's newest attorney!
Mr. Goldberg practices law in Chicago, but he jumped on the nearest rainbow and slid all the way to California to meet with LiLo. Apparently, Mr. Goldberg is going to represent LiLo in her appeal against Judge Marsha's sentence. LiLo now has a good chance (sarcasm) with Mr. Goldberg. dazzling the court for her. I mean.....
How can the court not be completely entranced by a man who looks like he should be singing showtunes on a lucite piano for dozens of Oompa Loompas in a lounge below the Willy Wonka factory? How can the court not want to run their fingers through Mr. Goldberg's luscious field of dried unicorn tears?
If Mr. Goldberg's fancy powder blue suit hasn't convinced you of his powers yet, then please do yourself a favor and skip into his website. Mr. Goldberg's website is where the Land of OZ goes for inspiration.
Here's a few more pictures of my newest dream lover along with pictures of LiLo and White Oprah caffeinating their delusions at Starbucks yesterday.
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More lawyer troubles for Blohan.. HA HA HA HA!
BUT, REALLY- WITH ONLY 8 MORE DAYS UNTIL SHE HAS TO TURN HERSELF IN, WHAT CHANCE DOES she have that she'll avoid jail totally? i hope that the judge gives her more time for this fuckery.
@ thegobbler..
no worries... its been a LOOOOOOONG time since iVE POSTED ON A REGULAR BASIS.. CANT RESIST THE lohan TRAIN WRECK oops... lots of new posters here too!!
Maybe you'll find happiness in your sight shopping heaven and earth
You'll find our price is more suitable for you. Your presence is our greatest pleasure.
http://www.clothes6.us
I was watching Bridget Jones' Diary earlier and this man reminds me exactly of the overly tanned, sleazy, Shopping Channel jewellery hocking bf of Bridget's mom.
I finally checked Goldberg's website. I suspect he is a Snake Oil Salesman and Sartorial Offender and may need his own Defender. Perfect match for Lindsay Lohan.
This is my own website.It is free.Sexy girls and boys are waiting foryou. http://www.wealthyseeker.com where you can meet the wealthy singles, sexy beauties and even hot celebs. what's the most important is:you dont have to be a millionaire.but you can meet one. I think everyone need to meet some miracle after all the terrible stuff in the news and the economy.
i WON'T find happiness 'til you stop your damn spamming - le sigh - my greatest pleasure is your absence.
Maybe you'll find happiness in your sight shopping heaven and earth
You'll find our price is more suitable for you. Your presence is our greatest pleasure.
http://www.clothes6.us
but then linsay has never been known to have any taste class or common sense so why am i not surprised that she hired this freak?
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"If a lady treats other people as she'd like to be treated, she's allowed to roll in the grass if she wants to ..."
Lena Horne
Don Johnson?
vMaybe you'll find happiness in your sight shopping heaven and earth
You'll find our price is more suitable for you. Your presence is our greatest pleasure.
http://www.clothes6.us
i don't care how good he is no man dressed like this COULD EVER REPRESENT ME IN A COURT OF LAW.
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"If a lady treats other people as she'd like to be treated, she's allowed to roll in the grass if she wants to ..."
Lena Horne
I can't stop laughing at this dickhead. This has probably been said already, but the Hohans are obviously paying him with cases of Sevin-Nyne.
Forced by the pressures of life, people of breath. Have you ever thought to make our lives
easier ever?
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Fashion clothes, fashion bags, different styles of clothing.
More styles and colors let you pick. Do not let the pressure overwhelm us.
Let us lead a life of ease. If you have other methods. Please share with us.
http://www.fashionclothe.com/index.asp
http://www.fashionclothe.com/products/SUNGLASSES-A-163-s-1.html
Jon Peters is a lawyer?!
Will wonders never cease.
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"I can resist everything but temptation."
My first reaction to the website was: Are we being "punked"? This can't be real.
Submitted by chefcammi on Sun, 07/11/2010 - 12:48pm.
Submitted by thegobbler on Sun, 07/11/2010 - 10:54am
its been over a year since i had the baby! ive lost 60lbs through working out @ the gym so far and am shooting for the other 60 to come from px90.. shit, even 30 will be awsome. ive alwys been thin/thick- big muscular-ish legs, hourglass, big booty, etc, so im hoping the program will give me the definition i want.
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OH SHIT-I am just a little behind the times :) Congrats on your success so far!
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"Gobble a bowl of dicks." Submitted by HOTNEY
"Razzle Dazzle" from the movie version of "Chicago" would be a good choicefor him. If he has forgotten the tune or the tude he should contact Netflix asap.
Submitted by thegobbler on Sun, 07/11/2010 - 10:54am
its been over a year since i had the baby! ive lost 60lbs through working out @ the gym so far and am shooting for the other 60 to come from px90.. shit, even 30 will be awsome. ive alwys been thin/thick- big muscular-ish legs, hourglass, big booty, etc, so im hoping the program will give me the definition i want.
Submitted by angel_i on Sun, 07/11/2010 - 11:57am.
IT WAS TV'S BIRTHDAY AND HE DIDN'T EVEN CALL ME?!?
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Yes, it was! Well, as you know TV has a whole harem, with all of us taking turns "poking" him, hahahaha! Just go and wish him HB, it's never too late!
IT WAS TV'S BIRTHDAY AND HE DIDN'T EVEN CALL ME?!?
♥ Threadkilla!
"How does one go from the Air Force to the Bunny Ranch?"
O - it's only, like, an hour away." ~Judge Jeanine Pirro and complainant.
Talk Yuh Talk: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEH-v5dxdhQ
Submitted by Dog on Sun, 07/11/2010 - 10:03am.
OMG NOOOOOOO! They caught Colton Harris! He's been arrested! This can't be true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Yes, it's true. The barefoot bandit is done.
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"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
Ok there's a misunderstanding here, he thought it had something to do with Kilo as in Kilogram, and not Lilo as in Lindsey Lohan.
oh wait maybe he's just getting warmed up to his new client, for when she's charged with possesion on cocaine. This is of course after SHE GOES TO JAIL! But any douchebag lawyer is going to jump at the chance to rep a highly publicized client.
Oh well just a couple of weeks to go before Lindsey Goes to Jail!
Submitted by angel_i on Sun, 07/11/2010 - 10:48am.
Submitted by little_rascal on Sun, 07/11/2010 - 9:11am.
Submitted by Chirio on Sat, 07/10/2010 - 11:37pm.
Angel!! STOP IT! LMAO!
I just found Stuart V on FB...dare me to add as friend
Coma Banana Caca!
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Chiri, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Wait, Chiri, do you still have the picture of Team Valtrex with a big bottle of vodka as your FB profile photo??? And Stuart V. Goldberg accepted? Hahahahaha ROTFLMFAO!!!
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LOL! Sounds like he's hard up for friends...and then he prolly saw the DListed connection and thought: HEY! That guy made Phoebe Price famous! Why not me?! LOLOLOLOL!
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LMAO, angel_i, I just went to FB to check it out, and Chirio indeed has Stuart V. Goldberg on her friend list now!!! I almost wet myself! And because Team Valtrex had his birthday yesterday, Chirio had as her profile photo a picture of Team Valtrex with a bottle of vodka and a midget pole-dancer!!! This is just too much! I'm weeping here! Hahahahaha
H looks like he used Lindsey's self tanning stuff on himself.
Submitted by little_rascal on Sun, 07/11/2010 - 8:51am
What a narcissistic douchebag. How remarkable, on his "About : Life History" page he has photos of himself with an orange Ferrari and a silver Bentley. He's probably hoping that Blohan's notoriety will add a Rolls-Royce to his collection.
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You can add "delusional" to this idiot's description. Here's some of his quotes to TMZ yesterday:
1) "Instead of making her reactive, like a pin cushion, [we're going] to be proactive. We're gonna go after them." - Who is "them"? The judge? The legal system? The bailiff? The police? Sounds like this idiot is planning to put on a "the whole system is conspiring against her" appeal. But, here's the deal: this was a sentence due to a probation violation; it's not a trial. The only way her sentence could be changed is if the judge committed an error, and she didn't. She built a sufficient foundation, established exactly the terms of BLOWhan's probation, established that BLOWhan knew of the conditions, established that she broke them, and then listed the litany of BLOWhan's BS, lies and ridiculous excuses. There's nothing to argue here; her sentence will stand.
2) "I don't like the idea of jail time for Lindsay." - Who the fuck is this orange fake tan, shiny suit ambulance chaser think he is, to assume that anyone cares what he likes or doesn't like for her punishment? It's not up to liberace boy to determine the punishment; it's up to the judge. Besides, homeboy isn't even admitted to the CA bar; he can't practice law in California. He's going to have to refer this out to a CA lawyer.
To me, this orange oompa loompa dude is the white equivalent of Johnnie Cochran: all bluster & BS, no substance. Since BLOWhan is broke, I wonder if he is accepting Carvel cards for compensation. Personally, I hope he does something stupid & gets called on the carpet; that's what should happen to all fake ass bottomfeeders like him...
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"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." - Brit's Tits
Submitted by chefcammi on Sun, 07/11/2010 - 7:21am.
morning all..two.. people.. on Dlisted right now..lol...anyone use px90 successfully?? im starting it next monday and need some advice.
now, OT- when are her "doctors" ging to be outed??
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Be vewwy, vewwy careful with the plyometric exercises-jumping, spinning etc. Most people are not able to absorb the shock of landing. Did you just have a baby? Or am I confusing you w/another dlister? If you did, watch out, cuz post-natal=relaxed joints=injuries from strenuous exercise before you are ready...
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"Gobble a bowl of dicks." Submitted by HOTNEY
Submitted by little_rascal on Sun, 07/11/2010 - 9:11am.
Submitted by Chirio on Sat, 07/10/2010 - 11:37pm.
Angel!! STOP IT! LMAO!
I just found Stuart V on FB...dare me to add as friend
Coma Banana Caca!
=====================================
Chiri, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Wait, Chiri, do you still have the picture of Team Valtrex with a big bottle of vodka as your FB profile photo??? And Stuart V. Goldberg accepted? Hahahahaha ROTFLMFAO!!!
************************************
LOL! Sounds like he's hard up for friends...and then he prolly saw the DListed connection and thought: HEY! That guy made Phoebe Price famous! Why not me?! LOLOLOLOL!
♥ Threadkilla!
"How does one go from the Air Force to the Bunny Ranch?"
O - it's only, like, an hour away." ~Judge Jeanine Pirro and complainant.
Talk Yuh Talk: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEH-v5dxdhQ
Submitted by angel_i on Sun, 07/11/2010 - 12:05am.
Submitted by Cunning Stunt on Sat, 07/10/2010 - 11:45pm.
Oh no not the Illuminati again! Somebody posted something about Dave Chappelle knowing Jay-Z was in the Illuminati and I spent the next 11 hours on youtube watching shut-ins dissect Beyonce and Lady Gaga videos.
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LoL I did the exact same thing. I watched the Dave Chappelle "Inside the Actors Studio" episode (the most recent one) which was pretty interesting. But I guess he was just talking about the dark side of Hollywood. Then I started seeing all this shit about the illuminati and Lady Gaga and all these symbols and shit. I don't know about Hollywood being some sort of Satanic cult, but I do think it's a fucked up industry.
@Chefcammi:
PX90 is amazing. I don't do it myself (cuz I'm a lazy bastard) but all my friends do and it's working great for them! In fact, one of my friends lost 30 lbs doing it.
I most despise WO's big, ugly, designer bag but I thought at first glance that the label on LL's tube top said "puke" in the 2nd to last thumbnail.
That guy's face reminds me of an old story (80's) of a friend of a friend who drank so much carrot juice his skin turned orange. Everyone was freaked until he went to the doctor and was told to knock off the excessive carrot juice consumption. Maybe this guy is also a health food nut or such.
My God, Vinnie Barbarino graduated Law School.
Go ahead. Get her off and , then, I hope the next person she imperils is someone YOU love.
Oh, and you deserve everything White Oprah can give you. You'll need medication for the rest of your life.
OMG NOOOOOOO! They caught Colton Harris! He's been arrested! This can't be true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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So you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking. Racing around to come up behind you again.
http://www.modestneeds.org/
LiLo will still go to jail and rehab. Da Judge is not intimidated by his kind. Besides, she's flat out guilty of the charges against her.
Mistakes? Naw. I won't buy that line of hooey. She needs to be pounded to get the point into her pinhead. Da Judge has had enough of LiLo's excuses and antics. LiLo must pay for her transgressions in order to prevent future repeats.
SamRo's back in her life? Now that is interesting cause SamRo fell off the planet when they split. She resembles Gollum in a weird way, too. What is hilarious is that SamRo believes that she is smart and witty. No, she is just a fugly, angry lesbian who acts like a teenager although she's in her 30s. Without the trust fund she'd be working at 7-11.
Submitted by little_rascal
What a narcissistic douchebag. How remarkable, on his "About : Life History" page he has photos of himself with an orange Ferrari and a silver Bentley. He's probably hoping that Blohan's notoriety will add a Rolls-Royce to his collection.
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You're assuming that he actually owns those vehicles. The entire website is designed to give the impression of success when there, obviously, isn't any. If you're a successful lawyer WHY would you bother with this futile appeals case? You undermine your own credibility. But, then again, all he seems to represent are drug dealers and drug addicts, so I'm sure he has no illusions as to what crowd he's playing to.
Also, when does one attend class at law school when you, supposedly, teach school during the day and drive a cab at night? Oh, that's right...online.
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"I said, I'm not gonna hurt ya, I'm just gonna bash your brains in."
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Submitted by Chirio on Sat, 07/10/2010 - 11:37pm.
Angel!! STOP IT! LMAO!
I just found Stuart V on FB...dare me to add as friend
Coma Banana Caca!
=====================================
Chiri, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Wait, Chiri, do you still have the picture of Team Valtrex with a big bottle of vodka as your FB profile photo??? And Stuart V. Goldberg accepted? Hahahahaha ROTFLMFAO!!!
My cousin Ninny.
How come I can hear the "Miami Vice" theme when I look at this picture?
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"This is why we can't have nice things"
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-Hat 04/27/2010
And right off the bat there's a grammatical error in the very first sentence of matey's website blurb. For me, his credibility has disappeared too. haha
What a narcissistic douchebag. How remarkable, on his "About : Life History" page he has photos of himself with an orange Ferrari and a silver Bentley. He's probably hoping that Blohan's notoriety will add a Rolls-Royce to his collection.
After viewing his website, I believe that Stuart Goldberg, much like his client, is a laughably self-important buffoon and has a great deal of knowledge about drugs.
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"I said, I'm not gonna hurt ya, I'm just gonna bash your brains in."
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Damn, he looks like a cross between a mafiaoso and an evangelical preacher. I can only hope his courtroom antics match his appearance.
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Submitted by chefcammi on Sun, 07/11/2010 - 7:21am.
morning all..two.. people.. on Dlisted right now..lol...anyone use px90 successfully?? im starting it next monday and need some advice.
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My co-worker swears by it. Looking pretty decent lately.
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
This guy's name sould be Horatio del Valencia or something.
morning all..two.. people.. on Dlisted right now..lol...anyone use px90 successfully?? im starting it next monday and need some advice.
now, OT- when are her "doctors" ging to be outed??
radarnline ll quote, "She's complained that her "human rights" have been violated and has vowed to appeal the sentence."
what about the rights of others to drive on the highway without some coked up junkie chasing some chick while holding two guys hostage???? what about their human rights?
It would be great if they increased her jail time during the retrial for the fingernail stupidity. Does she think she is to good for jail?
Why do I get the feeling that LiLo's legal bills to this guy are being paid by White Oprah having to service this guy whenever he wants.
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"Money is the magic wand that turns a frog into a prince" - ChubbyWubby
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Does he have wooden legs?
Freaky looking bastard
He looks British to me, and not just because I'm watching Coronation Street...
Bitch is an orange douche bag...the ho has a newer, oranger version of a douche bag like her father, and this bitch has more hair or is it plugs?
Ha ha! This guy is so full of himself. There's een a film trailer for the book he wrote:
http://theoneandonlynovel.com/
pffff
I had to drag myself through those 4 minutes trying to find something worthy to make fun of. But it was just bad, not bad in a cheesy fun way.