Quote Of The Day: Kendra's Magical First Time With Hef
In Kendra's first book "Sliding Into Home" (Do what you will with that title), she talks about the first time she ever got it on with Hef and it pretty much sounds like the most romantic experience ever. Instead of Barry White playing in the background, they were serenaded by the hum from Hef's blood pressure machine. Instead of flickering candles, the room was lit up by the nekkid peroxide blondes awaiting their turn to leave their dignity on Hef's shriveled crotch worm. I'll let Kendra tell you the rest in her own words:
"One of the girls asked me if I wanted to go upstairs to Hef’s room. In my head I could hear my mom’s voice, ‘You know they have orgies there.’ I said 'Okay, if I have to.' It seemed like every other girl was going and if I didn’t it would be weird. One by one, each girl hopped on Hef and had sex with him for about a minute. I studied their every move. Then it was my turn, it was very weird. I wasn’t thinking about how much older Hef was, all the body parts worked the same. I wanted to be there."
Basically if you're one of Hef's hos, you wait in line to grab the defibrillator pad from the skank before you so that you can jumpstart his heart again before mounting and pumping him. Then when Hef's heart stops, that's your cue to hand the pad off to the next trick and join the others in the shower room next door where they are all on the floor silently weeping into their hands. Sign us all up, because that sounds like an orgy ride none of our genitals can miss!