Quote Of The Day: Kendra's Magical First Time With Hef
In Kendra's first book "Sliding Into Home" (Do what you will with that title), she talks about the first time she ever got it on with Hef and it pretty much sounds like the most romantic experience ever. Instead of Barry White playing in the background, they were serenaded by the hum from Hef's blood pressure machine. Instead of flickering candles, the room was lit up by the nekkid peroxide blondes awaiting their turn to leave their dignity on Hef's shriveled crotch worm. I'll let Kendra tell you the rest in her own words:
"One of the girls asked me if I wanted to go upstairs to Hef’s room. In my head I could hear my mom’s voice, ‘You know they have orgies there.’ I said 'Okay, if I have to.' It seemed like every other girl was going and if I didn’t it would be weird. One by one, each girl hopped on Hef and had sex with him for about a minute. I studied their every move. Then it was my turn, it was very weird. I wasn’t thinking about how much older Hef was, all the body parts worked the same. I wanted to be there."
Basically if you're one of Hef's hos, you wait in line to grab the defibrillator pad from the skank before you so that you can jumpstart his heart again before mounting and pumping him. Then when Hef's heart stops, that's your cue to hand the pad off to the next trick and join the others in the shower room next door where they are all on the floor silently weeping into their hands. Sign us all up, because that sounds like an orgy ride none of our genitals can miss!
Source: Simon & Schuster via Star Magazine
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Whoppie, the Whore master has his prostitutes ride his shriveled dong.
Mom must be proud.
it's hard to believe but i think that Hank Basket must be dumber than Kendra b/c she's taking him for a ride. i don't think that guy has a clue what's going on despite the fact she makes no attempt to hide it.
i watch that Kendra show and as a family they visited the "mansion" and Hank was totally fine with the situation, personally i'd want to block out the fact that my wife ever rode on that wrinkly baby carrot (
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"One by one, each girl hopped on Hef and had sex with him for about a minute."
Apparently Hef sucks in the sack. I've heard of two-minute men, but never one-minute men.
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I doubt she ever even had sex with Hefner. Her description of the episode is about as believable as a Vanilla Gorilla alibi...
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One by one, each girl hopped on Hef and had sex with him for about a minute. I studied their every move.
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...WTF?!...were they lined up or something?....oh jeez I am so disturbed by the visual!....who was the fluffer - old Mary?...
...a dick that old should be unfindable like God intended!...
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...I will comment ...but you will blow me first!...
***Salacious said, "I prefer Kendra who doesn't deny being who she is, as compared to shameless whores like Kim Kardassian or Parasite Hilt"***
My friend, a nasty slut is a nasty slut, I don't care if she admits it or not. Just sayin'.....
"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." HERM ALBRIGHT
I think I read between girls the #1 gf would wipe it down with a towel? Maybe. I forget.
Any young woman that says she wants to be in a room with a man past retirement age needs to be cold-cocked upside her fuckin' head!
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No amount of fame or fortune could get me to do that. It sounds vile and disgusting. Why, pray tell, WHY would a new mother disclose these details. Just STFU and try to keep some dignity.
Submitted by salacious on Sun, 07/04/2010 - 9:55am.
As I said before, I prefer Kendra who doesn't deny being who she is, ...
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Oh, is that so? Because i doubt she considers herself a freak whore who fucked a half rotten corpse for a living.
This sounds crass i know. But amuse me by trying to put it in a more diplomatic way - any which way it's what she did.
--
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Submitted by sugacan on Sun, 07/04/2010 - 9:50am.
WOW! Not sure who is more retarded, Hand or his hooker/wife. Why would a man marry this girl? Why would a man want this chick to be the mother of his kids? I just...I just....WTF?!
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As I said before, I prefer Kendra who doesn't deny being who she is, as compared to shameless whores like Kim Kardassian or Parasite Hilton, who try to pass for class acts and fashion icons. Then again, it's just my opinion.
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"I want to give you a hand job with my mouth" - Korean Abdul-Jabbar.
WOW! Not sure who is more retarded, Hand or his hooker/wife. Why would a man marry this girl? Why would a man want this chick to be the mother of his kids? I just...I just....WTF?!
"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." HERM ALBRIGHT
ah.fuckin.gross. ewwwwwwwwwww
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That is so. fucking. nasty. When I think of the plethora of germs on his dick.....Oh my stomach. I should have been warned not to read this with a hangover.
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If I have to come back here it's gonna get fuckin ugly.
Gag me with 10 spoons. I don't think I can eat my breakfast now with that visual in my head.
________________
I Love You More
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Submitted by Message In A Bottle on Sat, 07/03/2010 - 8:48pm.
Wait a second....is this the same chick that was "mortified" by the release of the sex tape and how it'll affect her family....especially her son...
yet she's not mortified about releasing this shit???
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word!!
you said everything I wanted to write..
Gross. Just gross. *throws up*
You know what I don't get? Why y'all keep on complimenting that Hank guy despite the fact that he married this. He could be someone who believes in family (RIIIIGGHHHTTT) or either one of these: 1)greedy and likes her business sense, which means sell everything 2)A fake titty-loving athlete asshole who wanted a tropy wife or 3)really stupid/bs crazy himself.
You all speak of sexism, but you're being sexist if you're not considering that he could be in on this or just a moron himself. Why hold him above her if he made the choice? Men who marry these women are not always savior types. Some of them just like dominating someone who's a moron and will do anything sexually or for money. And so the fuck what if he's from NM?! So all people from one state are nice or something? Shit, I've messed around with people from there, and they are not all nice lol!
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"When you lay down with dogs, you're bound to get some fleas, girlfriend."
-Submitted by hollie. on Fri, 05/21/2010 - 2:20pm.
So I have not been on here for a while but I just had to comment lol
first: WTF?
Second kendra is a whore and white trash.I can't believe she has such a cute hubby&baby and basically a great life.
third: I love Bridget lol
four:Why the fuck is Heffner still having "sex"? What could he possibly get from a girl sitting on him for a bout a minute and then moving on to the next. Now don't get me wrong I love me some sexy time but having a line of guys waiting to stick it in me once, hardly seems worth the effort and time LOL.
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08-07-10 Can't wait!!!
Submitted by I heart Natalie on Sun, 07/04/2010 - 1:21am.
Please leave Bridget out of this...
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LOL! Dontcha wish you could? She IS sweet but...well...wow.
♥ Threadkilla!
"How does one go from the Air Force to the Bunny Ranch?"
O - it's only, like, an hour away." ~Judge Jeanine Pirro and complainant.
Talk Yuh Talk: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEH-v5dxdhQ
Please leave Bridget out of this... she's a sweetie, as pure as the freshly fallen snow
Kendra's the fucking whore, dammit
Kendra, Holly, & Bridget - The Text Book Whores.
I've read this before. It is SICK. He acts like such a nice old guy. He is a sexual predator and all these girls are WHORES. That would be you Kendra and Holly.
Great pick Hank!!
If you mull over that quote, you don't know whether it's utterly ridiculous or utterly incredulous. I lean toward the latter...I've personally never seen Hefner's old cuckoo clock and it's about time he showed us how it works - so we can actually believe these tales of debauchery that drift out of the mouths of babes who have graced the mansion. Otherwise, it's all a crock of shit.
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"Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself,(I am large, I contain multitudes.)" ~Walt Whitman~
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Submitted by Detective_LaToya on Sat, 07/03/2010 - 9:29pm.
And I'm sure there are plenty of girls that want to apply for dildo washer!
TY, Tigerlil!
and
Submitted by TITS on Sat, 07/03/2010 - 5:41pm.
Oh great so they're stealing Larry Flynt's thunder?
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Ha! Now THAT I believe. I didn't say she was a Saint or anything;p
♥ Threadkilla!
"How does one go from the Air Force to the Bunny Ranch?"
O - it's only, like, an hour away." ~Judge Jeanine Pirro and complainant.
Talk Yuh Talk: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEH-v5dxdhQ
This may have changed a bit in recent years since the cryptkeeper has gotten completely infirm, but this is how it went for years after Kimberly left.
Two nights a week are designated "sex night." Hef takes a group of girls out for dinner and a club. Usually it's his "girlfriends" plus usual hangers on, girls who are visiting to test for the magazine, visiting playmates, etc. Sometimes they bring even more girls home with them.
Once home, they are invited upstairs. All the girls must take a bath then put on satin pajama tops. If they are OTR, they put on bottoms so they don't have to do the deed with Hef that night. The girls are all handed vibrators by the #1 girlfriend then proceed to use them on themselves and each other and do some fake lesbian shit for Hef's enjoyment. Once he's ready to go, each girl jumps on top for a minute or two. When he's gone through all the other girls, he does girlfriend #1 in the pooper until he's blown his load of dust. She then collects all the vibrators and starts washing them which signifies the party is over. Wasn't Holly's former job glamorous? No condoms are used but lots of baby oil is.
I have not personally witnessed the upstairs scene (beyond turning down the invitation to go upstairs when I stayed at the Playmate House) but know enough people who have and have told the EXACT same story to know it's true. Kendra's account above only confirms it.
So there you have it. Enjoy!
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"You are fucking bitches, this is my prom!"
speaking of Marilyn Monroe... has anyone paused to think... what if she had her own reality show today? Could you imagine???
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Sat, 07/03/2010 - 9:23pm.
This is the stuff nightmares are made of.
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For DAMN SERIOUS. No, for real y'all. Nightmares, like TV said. *dry heaves, gets dizzy and reaching for Malox*
=== "...Find...And Fulfill...Your Destiny..." ===
This is the stuff nightmares are made of.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
I sort of want to re-create this with dolls and film it. It's just that creepy.
No. Just N.O. I would not. Thank you, for your consideration though. =P
=== "...Find...And Fulfill...Your Destiny..." ===
Her story is true. And most men would do what Hef does if they could.
You are so hot, let's get crazy, do some coke
-Pat O'Brien
Here's what I am going to do, I am going to read up on how to be a Buddhist, and I am gonna pray to Buddha that he is going to reincarnate me so when I kill myself I can come back and be cool as
fuck like you.
nuh-uh.
AAAHHHAAHAAHAHA WHAT!?>? He would just lay there in bed, in his satin "smoking jacket" thingy, and bitches be humping him for a second, then rotate in formation!??!! AAAHBBBBWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
=== "...Find...And Fulfill...Your Destiny..." ===
Wait a second....is this the same chick that was "mortified" by the release of the sex tape and how it'll affect her family....especially her son...
yet she's not mortified about releasing this shit???
This girl is fucked up in the head. Must be from all that drug use in the past.
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If you shoved a vuvuzela into a dog's ass and asked him to fart into a fan, the sound he produces would be more pleasant to the ears than this shit! - Michael K
I'm sure she willingly hopped on his wanker faster than you can say...make me famous.
Submitted by kokoskitten on Sat, 07/03/2010 - 7:28pm.
By "hopping on" it probably means each girl did some grinding and 'sexy' (not really) moves for him with or without him being hard or penetration...they were probably just 'hopping' on a wrinkly old sack and limp old baby carrot.
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*fans self* Oh STOP IT with the SESSAY TALK, I'm gettin all HWAT and bothered up in here...;-P
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by viridian on Sat, 07/03/2010 - 5:35pm.
...And women in the sex trade should be protected by unions, etc.....so men like Hef cannot exploit them so easily.
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Totally agree. We're never going to be able to eradicate the sex trade, so let's at least try to protect those in it from disease and exploitation, while helping them try to get out of it (I know, I'm an unrealistic optimist). And while we're at it, let's FINE THE FUCK out of the pieces of shit who benefit from this debasement of human dignity. If they're going to benefit, let 'em pay. I'd call these predators garbage, but that would be an insult to garbage.
By "hopping on" it probably means each girl did some grinding and 'sexy' (not really) moves for him with or without him being hard or penetration...they were probably just 'hopping' on a wrinkly old sack and limp old baby carrot.