MICKEY ROURKE GOT A HAIRCUT! MICKEY ROURKE GOT A HAIRCUT!
Loki will lift his leg on your dreams tonight if you are thinking to yourself that Mickey Rourke didn't cut his hair, it just finally got sick of clinging to his crater face so it quit that bitch. That is not true. That hair loved him like stank loves caca.
Anyways, Mickey finally cleaned the oil spill on his head by taking a machete to it. Mickey's weekday maid is probably thanking the maker of scissors, because now she won't get raisins on her fingers from spending hours scrubbing the grease out of his pillow cases in a tub full of hot water and Goo Gone.
And I happen to love Mickey's new hair situation. It makes his moobies pop up real nice.