And The Twihards Explode....
Thousands of Twitwards of all ages are soothing their sore and raw vaginas with ice packs this morning, because they simultaneously lost their virginity at last night's Twilight: Eclipse premiere in Los Angeles. Pussies got the seizures like they were being zapped with a taser. I bet the ground outside of the Nokia Theater looks like it's covered in popped and melted chocolate covered cherries. Don't let a memaw near that place, because that is not real chocolate covered cherry goo.
Some Twitards even camped out for days just to get a tiny piece of RPattz and Taylor Lautner. And even though RPattz showed up dressed like a car valet at a Ron Burgundy-themed restaurant, bitches still blew the chocha crema all over the place. I mean, look at that Twihard in the picture above. Bitch just can't help but pretend to give head to an imaginary sparkle peen while in the presence of her wet dream co-star! Give all those bitches the Q-Tip. You can dip it in glitter first if that's how they want it.
Here's more pictures from last night's panty pudding explosion. In order: RPattz, Taylor Lautner, Kristen Stewart (looking like she was on the wet end of a Tastykake Snowball bukkake), AnnaLynne McCord, Kellan Lutz, Dakota Fanning, Ashley Greene and Nikki Reed (in something she snatched from Johnny Weir's reject pile).
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I will "HIT iT": Jackson Rathborne, the vulturi guards (yeah the big one and the blond)Peter Facinelli and from the wolf only Mraz...and RPattz if i got drunk enough..
I will hit on a totally pseudo lesbian way: Julia Jones, Ashley Green, Kristen stewart and Anna Kendrick..I would be close to Nikki or the esme one 'cause they pretty sure are swinging hips..i'm afraid of them
Karma is a Bitch
I still think r pattz is strange looking. Something strange about his face shape.
Is anyone aware the Fanning sisters are actually named Hannah and Mary?? Dakota is Hannah Dakota and Elle is Mary Elle. I love them both!! :)
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I Love You More
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Submitted by Poopele on Fri, 06/25/2010 - 5:13pm.
Submitted by stefystef
Oh? You think all black people carry weapons? You effin' racist, we don't need your kind here!
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Okay, first off, I'm a black woman, not much different from the woman in the picture.
OH..Damn...my bad. If I had know'd you was a black woman I wouldn't a said nothing, I don't want to get to shanked myself, or whatever you people call stabbing people with your knives these days
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
It is because of the funny and clever fans of Dlisted that I come to this site several times a day.
~fist bumps~ Got nothin' but mad love fer ya! *LMAO*
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You give him the bed sheet with your period stains on it and send him to sleep in the bath tub!- The Great Michael K, 5/14/2010
If adult men showed up to ogle these unfortunate looking children, they'd be arrestested. Kiddie porn is wrong.
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my bitchface looks so cute with that little white dress...and the Magical Forest doesn't look so magical anymore...
TayTay is going GayGay by the minute, i'm fully expecting him to dry hump Kellan Calvin Klein brief in the next premiere...
Karma is a Bitch
Nikki Reed doesn't even look like the same person...major surgery
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nice bed sheet ashley green chick....and why the helllll is that one guy from twifuck dating that girl from the shitty new 90210 who is an ano twig?? she looks like a beige lumpy bowl of oatmeal
Submitted by stefystef
Oh? You think all black people carry weapons? You effin' racist, we don't need your kind here!
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Okay, first off, I'm a black woman, not much different from the woman in the picture.
OH..Damn...my bad. If I had know'd you was a black woman I wouldn't a said nothing, I don't want to get to shanked myself, or whatever you people call stabbing people with your knives these days
Submitted by stefystef on Fri, 06/25/2010 - 1:53pm.
Submitted by humpalump on Fri, 06/25/2010 - 12:01pm.
Omg, i totally agree. He reminds me of the Howdy Doody doll, especially when pics are taken from his profile.
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Howdy Doody???? GOOD LORD, YOU ARE RIGHT!!!
Spot on, humpalump. Spot on!!!
*LMAO*
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All he's missing is the freckles!...LOL!
Whoever told Kristin Stewart that she has great legs and that she should show them off every chance she gets told her LIES.
And is that really a sign that says "Rob & Kristin sign" in the 12th pic? Man, these Twitards are dumber than I thought, and I didn't think they could possibly get any dumber.
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Sometimes you just want to slap a kitten in a tiny hat. - MK
I might spend my money and go see this garbage tonight. I know, I know.
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Don't hate me cause I'm DLeautiful
Submitted by tasty dish on Fri, 06/25/2010 - 12:41pm.
evil, are you sitting down?
Renessme - named after her mother (Renee) and his mother (Esme).
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What I, now, can't understand is why VC Andrews/Flowers in the Attic never got this popular.
♥ Threadkilla!
"O - and stop writing mean comments on his YouTube page.
He doesn't like it." ~Daniel Tosh - he's back, babay!
What's it gonna be? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQXDtPswocs
It were better when this Pattinson-douche was in the Harry Pothead movies - he died in it.
Submitted by Die gelangweilt... on Fri, 06/25/2010 - 2:42pm.
I'm so incredibly annoyed by this Patterson dumbass.
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He has the loveliest voice though. I will say that for him.
I'm so incredibly annoyed by this Patterson dumbass. His Uh, *runs fingers through greasy hair* I really don't know what to say. *laughs kinda embarrassed and surprised, then looks around while fat girls and women start screaming hysterically*. I'm not really that special. I'm just doing my job. To this day I don't even get what they find so wonderful about me.-shtick is wearing thin.
♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬
Rrridiaouw woo oo rrri-ou!
LMAO at the photo crasher in thumbnail #7, peeking in from behind the three of them. lame-ass.
RP looks baked in that photo too.
at least somebody hosed him off first. he looks great with shorter hair. it's funny that all of these girls are so hot for him and Taylor Lautner because I don't think they're interested. what straight guy says he's "allergic" to vagina?
These leads are NOT CUTE, and these girls are too fucking skinny. Since I'm somewhat evil, I look forward to the day that these actresses start exhibiting signs of disease because of their self-starvation. Look at that Melrose Place girl--GROSS. It ain't natural if your head is almost as wide as your shoulders. Blech.
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"When you lay down with dogs, you're bound to get some fleas, girlfriend."
-Submitted by hollie. on Fri, 05/21/2010 - 2:20pm.
Submitted by humpalump on Fri, 06/25/2010 - 12:01pm.
Omg, i totally agree. He reminds me of the Howdy Doody doll, especially when pics are taken from his profile.
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Howdy Doody???? GOOD LORD, YOU ARE RIGHT!!!
Spot on, humpalump. Spot on!!!
*LMAO*
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You give him the bed sheet with your period stains on it and send him to sleep in the bath tub!- The Great Michael K, 5/14/2010
Does anyone remember Lee Greenwood who sings "God bless the USA"? I haven't seen him perform in a long time but he used to be trotted out all the time on national holidays. Anyway, he looks like he is in a personal hell forced to sing this song for over twenty years. The twilight kids remind me of him.
Did any of these girls actually look in the mirror before leaving the house? KStew's dress looks like she rolled up a used white bathmat and put it on and left the house. One girl looks like she should be at a collage frat toga party and another looks like a refugee from the ice capades. The flesh colored dress looks too small for that girl as well, so I guess she is getting advice from Katiebot. Every dress is just worse than the last. Is it a competition? Really ladies?
Kellan Lutz looks like Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer.
http://monsterscifishow.files.wordpress.com/2007/08/unfrozen_caveman_law...
Good lordy, how many of these twitmovies do we need to see. It feels like 20 years of twitmovies. We got 20 more years of twitmovies ahead of us. This cast will be in their 60's by the time this is over.
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Corexit=MURDER
Stephen King ripped the writer of Twilight a new asshole a while back, I remember.
And from the reviews I have read, he was probably right.
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I have the audiobooks, and Twilight was a good listen, the second one was a little less good, the third one was a lot less good, and Breaking Dawn (or Breaking Down, as it's generally known online) was so bloody awful, I stopped listening 1/3 of the way through, and just read the spoilers online to find out how it ended. It was THAT BAD.
How Edward and Bella really act:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ep3AEQlpixo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LP043bs2Btw&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oy6hgrqFfZc&feature=related
tasty dish:
3 years in a week? I'd condone THAT. SHe zipped right through being potty-trained I assume then.
But HOW the fuck are they gonna film her ass in the coming movies? Those scenes alone might cost more than it does to light Kristen Stewart's cranium.
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evil, are you sitting down?
Renessme - named after her mother (Renee) and his mother (Esme).
and she ages fast i think she's like 3 yrs old in a week or something like that.
ETA: shameful that i know all this, i know. my niece gave me the books when she finished each one and even though i laughed throughout, i had to finish the series now that i invested all that time.
yes, Reneesme. Ridiculous.
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But today the way I play the game has got to change -oh yeah
Now I’m gonna get myself happy
- George Michael "Freedom 90"
Submitted by angel_i on Fri, 06/25/2010 - 12:22pm.
You don't say hell but you say fuckin'?
And LOL Ice Capades! That's it! I was tryna figure out what was bothering me about these dresses....except Dakota's - I really love that dress.
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flol! I KNEW someone would call me out on that shit! I do say "hell", but I do not like to type it...I dunno, I am disturbed. Deeply disturbed. ahahahahahahahaha. Seriously.
I liked Dakota's dress, too.
*pulls angel_i's hair and RUNS*
**I ALT 12 you!**
Submitted by loozer on Thu, 03/04/2010 - 9:05pm.
UrMomma!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyngFurWy14
RPattz, what is that terrible looking suit about? That is not a movie star color. Especially for a red carpet walk.
Nail me to my car... then I'll tell you who you are...Joe The Lion
Submitted by Im a Princess on Fri, 06/25/2010 - 12:28pm.
Baby's name:
Renesme
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OMG! That is really stupid!
I know I shouldn't but fuuuuuuuuuck me Rpatz is sexy. His new hair is such an improvement. No I have never seen a movie he was in (oh hang on I saw that Harry Potter one he was in) or read the Twihard books. I also don't wear a fanny pack. But dayum.
Forget to add that she's named after Bella's Mom Renee, and Edwards "Mom" Esme
Submitted by tasty dish on Fri, 06/25/2010 - 12:25pm.
i need help.
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Well at least you're not a tard-lovin gramma like me :P
~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~
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Im a Princess:
Re-who-WHAT?!
Are we sure he is the daddy and not some man from the 5th ward in Nawlins?!
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tasty dish:
Kudos to you for remembering Farrah. I schooled my kids on that hot slut today!
And moving right along...
WTF? She should have aborted that muthafucka if it was kicking her intestines into her toes!
Anne Rice will roll over in her future grave over how this trick has re-done vampire lore!
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Baby's name:
Renesme
Submitted by tasty dish on Fri, 06/25/2010 - 12:25pm.
SPOILER ALERT. if you care..
breakdown,
actually they get married first. and then she gets pregnant which makes no sense since he's been dead for 500 yrs or thereabouts and has no secretions left in his body. THEN the baby is born in some violent labor scene (think Rosemary's Baby) in which her insides are being literally ripped apart. but then baby is this sweet hybrid of human and vampire (vam-uman?) and they live happily ever after, after he turns her into one of his kind.
i need help.
.......................
Uh oh!
Someone better call waaaambulance!
Damn you guys, WHAT'S THE BABY'S NAME????? Don't just tease and run!
I need to know the dumb name, pleaseeeeeee!
This guy has the most gorgeous eyes, but yuck, looks like he smells like rancid milk. And that Cro-magnon head, damn.
And WTF is Bella all crying and shit over him leaving her ass in part two?
She should be jumping for joy when that pasty fucka leaves him...so she can concentrate on some hard cock with someone her age, and not 175!
Yes, I am watching the 2nd one right now!
*reports, then shoots self*
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Facebook: Triston
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Submitted by parissucksliterally on Fri, 06/25/2010 - 12:23pm.
I've read the series, and I thought the name for the baby was the STUPIDEST name EVER.
*rolls eyes*
I seriously skimmed the page whenever the baby's name was mentioned.
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Yeah, I'm a fan of the books (not of the movies so much...) and even I thought the babies name was a little wierd- never warmed up to it...
Hey we all have our guilty pleasures, don't begrudge a slut of her fantasies!!
~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~
http://www.careerbuilder.com/monk-e-mail
SPOILER ALERT. if you care..
breakdown,
actually they get married first. and then she gets pregnant which makes no sense since he's been dead for 500 yrs or thereabouts and has no secretions left in his body. THEN the baby is born in some violent labor scene (think Rosemary's Baby) in which her insides are being literally ripped apart. but then baby is this sweet hybrid of human and vampire (vam-uman?) and they live happily ever after, after he turns her into one of his kind.
i need help.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Fri, 06/25/2010 - 12:19pm.
Is that horrible beast in the semi long, ruffly dress that fugly 90210 chick? She is scary!
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That's who it is...couldn't tell. Bad makeup and bad dress...