The Naked Cowboy Takes On The Naked Cowgirl
Do you see the dazzling cactus flower on the right wearing a wig she snatched out of a Dolly Parton costume bag from the 99 Cent Store and her face covered in make-up that was applied by an old drag queen who suffers from an essential tremor? Well, that's the Naked Cowgirl of NYC and she's nobody's ho! But the Naked Cowboy thinks otherwise and he has skipped on over to her corner to slip a cease and desist into her g-string. The Naked Cowboy wants her to stop using the name the "Naked Cowgirl" unless she pays him a $500 a month franchise fee! Basically, the Naked Cowboy wants to be her pimp. Homegirl is way too old to be someone's bitch, hooker.
According to People, 39-year-old Robert Burck (Ho name: The Naked Cowboy) owns the trademark for the Naked Cowboy and anybody who wants to use the name professionally has to pay him. The Naked Cowboy sued Mars Inc. a couple of years ago for using a naked cowboy M&M as part of an advertising campaign. His lawyer says that the Naked Cowgirl is clearly violating his trademark and they will sue her hot ass if she doesn't comply.
The Naked Cowgirl (government name: Sandy Kane), an old time stripper who was famous for lighting her tits on fire, says that she's been doing the nekkid thing way before the Naked Cowboy came around. She says, "I've been naked for years. You know how much money I make? Two dollars a picture. I'm not selling any products. The song ain't going anywhere anyways. It's not like he's Tim McGraw or Keith Urban."
All of us should file a class action lawsuit against the Naked Cowboy for fraud and false advertising, because dude does not get nekkid! The last time I checked being nekkid didn't include a pair of tighty whiteys covering your parts! When you see the name "NAKED COWBOY" you expect to see a bare peen lassoing a hog. He should change his name to Cock Tease Cowboy.
By the way, that class action lawsuit will not include the Naked Cowgirl. It's best that she keeps her chonies on as much as possible. You know, because I don't think any of us can take seeing her beauty in all its spectacular glory.
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QueenieBK he is in Times Square. I've seen him a bunch of times and believe me, I've never been lookin' for him.
TEAM NAKED COWBOY! As a New Yorker I have to say, I don't care how old she is, he was there first. Let her call herself something else while she sets her elderly tits on fire!
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You can't put up Helen Mirren's hot old lady boobage and then chase it with these low-rent flapjacks. That's just wrong.
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Homeboy probably did vote against thegheyz. He is from Cincinnati; a lovely Republican "Pleasantville" enclave. His dad parades around here wearing Republican candidate buttons.
Ask the Naked Cowboy if he's sending money back home to resurrect the Butter/Touchdown Jaysus.
MK, that was so GD funny
Submitted by babybunny on Wed, 06/23/2010 - 9:34am.
speaking of long ass hairs on chins...sorry but the subject came up...the old Indian lady who works the frong desk at my veterinarians office has the longest single chin hair I have ever seen in my life
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I'm sorry but that one just killed me for some reason...still laughing!
okaaaay apparently he ent never learned his letter neither cuz COWBOY and COWGIRL are two different words
what is up with her left boob?!?
speaking of long ass hairs on chins...sorry but the subject came up...the old Indian lady who works the frong desk at my veterinarians office has the longest single chin hair I have ever seen in my life....it is more of a object of fascination cause it is so damn long, but once I was at a fast food place and the manager has a big long hair coming out of a mole on her face...I couldn't even eat my food after I saw that...so long chin hairs are o.k. in some places but not around food-related places. Now that is my two cents worth on the subject of chin hairs...can we stop talking (or writing) about it now??? pretty please!!!
Everyone knows The Naked Cowboy drops those knickers for cock butter.
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Submitted by Centaurious on Wed, 06/23/2010 - 2:44am.
It seems Naked Cowboy has been there forever. I can't be sure, but I'm reasonably positive he was there when our high school bus took us down to see Broadway show 42nd Street in 1980.
Maybe it's like a legacy; each Naked Cowboy picks their succesor.
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Like the Dread Pirate Roberts? (-:
The cowboy appears to be a homosexual.
Discuss.
It seems Naked Cowboy has been there forever. I can't be sure, but I'm reasonably positive he was there when our high school bus took us down to see Broadway show 42nd Street in 1980.
Maybe it's like a legacy; each Naked Cowboy picks their succesor.
He'll catch up to her in a few years.
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"I can resist everything but temptation."
*AHEM!* I have had a chin hair for as long as I can remember. One hair. At least since high school. I pull it out when I see it. Once Rosie O'Donnell grew hers and put a bead on it. It was the most disgusting thing and now I hate my own chin hair more than life itself. But it's not some old lady disease!
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saggy tits and all, she is still more appealing than this thinks he is all that turd!! I like her worn out stripper look...u go cowgirl!!
Is that Angelyne's long lost twin?
Submitted by EvilShoe on Tue, 06/22/2010 - 9:29pm.
Ummm, I think Michael knows all my issue subjects (he does). Belly buttons sticking out or weirdness and now tittay sagging.
I'm not getting any younger and this shit scares me! I know some older ladies from a program I'm in and they have side conversations about stray long-ass hairs on their chins and weird shit like that!
When does all of this occur, whores?
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Maybe after menopause? Lack of estrogen can cause skin elasticity to lessen; being out of balance with testosterone and estrogen can cause hair to grow in "masculine" places (chin, under belly button area, etc.)
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
I would like to see this tits on fire routine.
Naked Cowgirl= far more entertaining with her dick soothing lullabies,
Naked Cowgboy is just an alpha-male wannabe who gropes girls at the street and act all macho and cocky
so wait I'm confused ain't they the same person?
ok,how about.."naked southern belle"
Ahh memories of the days of 1976 bicentennial... They really were bad porno days!
Ummm, I think Michael knows all my issue subjects (he does). Belly buttons sticking out or weirdness and now tittay sagging.
I'm not getting any younger and this shit scares me! I know some older ladies from a program I'm in and they have side conversations about stray long-ass hairs on their chins and weird shit like that!
When does all of this occur, whores?
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Curtsy, motherfuckers! MK
His gimmick seems a bit played by now. Despite his local celebrity his life must suck. Not that I'd know or anything, and maybe I'm wrong; I just get that vibe from him.
As for the woman, she would probably be interesting to listen to. She could keep a roomful of people captivated with tales of surviving German Zeppelin raids in World War 1.
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Your air guitar is no match for my air quotes...
Famous for lighting her tits on fire???
WTF... naked cowboy needs to up his game
Ugh. I don't think boobs are supposed to bend that way.
Really Dina!!!
What does Naked Cowboy do? Stand around and scream at tourists that photos of him are "NOT FREE!!!!!!" ?
I just got back from Rome and there are plenty of flabby gladiators (and not so flabby ones I admit) who stand in front of the Coliseum and Pantheon screaming the same thing in Italian. Fortunately the Swiss Guard does not allow fake Popes in front of St Peters. (With those Swiss Guards in their festive outfits who needs popes?)
Oh god, Sandy Kane: Where did her public access show go? With her tits nearly down to her knees she used to tell the lamest/best jokes ever:
"Doctor told me he needs a blood sample, a urine sample, and a stool sample--so I gave him my g-string!" Boom crash.
Love me some Sandy
And Michael K is right--if that Cowboy bitch can't get naked for real he owns NOTHING.
Yum! Yum! Yum!
I think it's pretty obvious who got naked first.
Boys are so fucked up.
♥ Threadkilla!
"O - and stop writing mean comments on his YouTube page.
He doesn't like it." ~Daniel Tosh - he's back, babay!
What's it gonna be? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQXDtPswocs
what is wrong with these two nuckle head sandwiches. If they had any wits about them they should stand there in fuschia drag dry humping as many Nebraskans they can get their slick asses onto. It’s obvious cow ho ain’t gonna pay a dime and it’s equally obvious cow po has lost his marbles too. Really them two bitches ought to adopt a bunch of abandoned kids that their parents dropped of while visiting the big Apple and make themselves a cow hide load of money and have all them bitches singing naked in ankle boots between Harlem and China Town. Then while them kids are banging up them harmonicas and guitars they can invite White Oprah or someone like that for a commissioned photo shoot. See you can still get rich in America if you put your mind to it.
http://scallywagandvagabond.com/2010/06/why-cant-naked-cowboy-and-naked-...
Didn't the naked cowboy give money to an anti-gay republican candidate a few elections ago? And here he is as gay as a Pride Parade! Fuck him! Come to think of it, I wouldn't mind doing that to him--he does have a nice ass. And according to the rumors around 42nd street, he is supposedly not totally opposed to the idea either, for a price of course!
I don't blame him...for better or for worse, he's a NYC landmark
mmmmmm yummy body hehe
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By the way, Kane sticks matchsticks in her nipples (I think they're inverted), and then she lights them.
I live in Nashville, and this joke showed up here walking around singing, we laughed his ass off the sidewalk. This is the home of country music dammit, don't bring that stupid shit down here!
Good old Sandy Kane. M.K., I sent her to you as a nominee for Hot Slut (along with the inimatable Margarita Pracatan). Kane's been on Manhattan Cable, aka, Network of the People, for a looong time, singing dirty lyrics to radio songs. Ah, the Friday night line up: Sandy Kane, Robyn Bird, and Al Goldstein. Remember the times, indeed.
for the love of God, please put your flapjack tittays in a less plunging top. I'm afraid one is about to fall out and NOBODY wants that.
Sooooooo, if I'm nekkid, we're violating his 'copyright'? Or nekkid wearing a hat and prancing to country music?
"Me not getting..." -Cookie Monster
In best Seinfeld voice:
He's not even a real cowboy! And why isn't the Naked Cowgirl naked? And why do they even call her a girl...she's 80??
I think cowgirl USED to be a cowboy
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Well slap my ass and call me Mary, but neither of them is naked? Praise God, in her case.
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Submitted by johnnysgirl on Tue, 06/22/2010 - 5:56pm.
Ok now I can wrap my brain around that! I was just picturing her dumping a bucket of gasoline on her tits and tossing a match! Then the aftermath of blacken burnt up titties, thinking its a once a year deal.
~~Submitted by No Words on Tue, 05/25/2010 - 10:06pm.
People are tired of this shit night after night...we come here to escape from the minutiae of our daily lives...if I wanted to hear crazy people spout insanity, I would call my mother-
Submitted by Pamela on Tue, 06/22/2010 - 4:59pm.
Im sorry the only thing I remember after reading this was she use to set her tits on fire! Whaaatttt? Why? How? I dont get it.
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It probably means she twirled some flaming titty-tassels. That's some hot shit. Just this past weekend I saw a veteran burlesqueteer (who had her debut in 1961 and claims to have invented the flaming titty-tassel-twirl) do her thang and it was awesome.
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Sometimes you just want to slap a kitten in a tiny hat. - MK
I imagine cows are at least as disgusted by this unflattering comparison as the naked guy.
Where's Judge Judy when you need her?
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Her right tittay seems to be deflated.
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Submitted by QueenieBK on Tue, 06/22/2010 - 5:33pm.
Where exactly does this Naked Cowboy motherfucker hang out? Because I have been to NYC more times than I can recall and I have never seen his ass!
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