What In The.....?
If I was sitting behind Tom Brady at the Celtics vs. Lakers game last week, I would've rubbed my palms together, kissed them each for good luck and then tried to snatch that moppy wig off of his head. Only that shit is not a wig. That's real-life hair. Real-life hair he paid to get cut that way.
Either bitch lost a serious bet or Gisele Bundchen has a weird thing for Justin Bieber and Dorothy Hamill. Whatever the case may be, this is bringing out the "DURRRRR" in his face.
In order to get through this together, let's just pretend that Tom is more cultured than we think and this new cut is a tribute to the twinkle in my step known as PETER PAN DUDE:
Doesn't that feel better? This is obviously the look Tom is going for. I mean, who wouldn't want to look like this? No wonder Tinkerbell sneezes and queefs glitter. You would too if you were constantly breathing in the sparkly air around this magical beauty.