Blaming It On The Pigs
Tori Spelling is skinnier than a lady bug's dick, but she swears on Dean McDermott's butt plug that she doesn't have an eating disorder. A few months ago, Tori tried to defend her skinniness by Tweeting that she isn't anorexic because she weighs a whopping 107lbs.
Instead of shutting the rumors down it fueled them even more. The Olsens sent Tori a gift certificate to Burger King and even Posh Beckham Ensured the bitch at a party. Ensuring is just like Icing, but you do it with Ensure instead of Smirnoff Ice, obviously.
In her new book TerriTORI (I really can't with that title), Tori blamed the swine flu on the reason why she's so skinny. Tori writes, "I've never had a great stomach, but (being ill) just completely tore up my stomach and broke down my immune system, and I've basically just been a mess (Ed note. - You can stop there, Tori, and it will be complete) ever since, stomach-wise. It's about rebuilding my immune system. I'm a role model for a lot of women out there, so I hate that they say these things unwarranted, without any research and facts. I think it's doing a disservice to women out there that look up to any celebrity."
If Tori wants to blame the fact that her stomach is as messed up as her face on swine flu, then that's fine, but she needs to quit that role model shit. Who in the hell looks up to Donna Martin?! Even Emily Valentine is more of a role model than Donna Martin and that ho roofied a bitch and tried to torch West Bev's parade float.
I guarantee you that anybody who takes one of those "Which 90210 character are you?" quizzes and gets Donna Martin as their answer, immediately throws their computer at the wall. Nobody wants to be Donna Martin!
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I've been 'naturally' thin since I was a tiny kid...but I did stop eating for about a decade, then started exercising my ass off to reward myself for eating...needless to say eating disorders arent easy to have or 'work on'. Just seeing this picture made me do an extra half-hour of cardio today...
"I think it's doing a disservice to women out there that look up to any celebrity."
You sure did a disservice to that woman whose husband you stole - and you're doing us all a disservice with your FACE. Now STFU already and go buy a swimsuit with straps to pull up your dreadful sagging tits, you useless cunt.
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Sometimes you just want to slap a kitten in a tiny hat. - MK
Obsessed with Tori & Dean show! Pretty convincing reality show about Hollywood d-listers trying to parent two kids, raise a suburban farm, throw parties for every conceivable occasion, exchange relationship advice with gay posse and manage ex-careers, ex-wives, ex-mothers and ex-sons. The elephant in the room: Tori Spellings breathtaking hideousness. Like some exotic dog breeds, she is so ugly she's almost cute. Everything she does to compensate for her hideousness compounds the hideousness. The bleached white hair, the orange spray tan, ostrich-like fake eyelashes that make her bug eyes buggier. The emaciation. And there's Dean the gold digger telling "T" how beautiful she is. She's not even buying it.
I don't know, my heart goes out to her and her saggy bowling ball boobs for having such a cunt for a mother. And if you think Tori is untalented (and she's not!!!! watch her in those gripping Lifetime dramas!!!), you should see her ugly mother trying anything--"writing" a book, hosting some lame gameshow on E! about fame, going on talk shows to try and not talk about how her love for her frog-eyed daughter is conditional--to be famous. I have no doubt that she's tried shopping around a reality show based on herself, i.e., all the money her husband left her and that she swindled from her black molly-eyed daughter, and no one is buying it.
I find it painful to look at her. The worst part is, she would look fine if she'd only:
1. have her big Hapsburgh jaw sawed down and
2. gain 20 lbs.
Dammit, Mabel beat me to it.
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"We're all standing around the toilet together." - Michael K, philosopher
where to begin? mk, this whole post had me rolling on the floor. genius!
(Yes, I'm yelling)
SHE THINKS SHE IS A ROLE MODEL?!?!?!?!
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
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Love,
Mabel
How little we understand what touches off that tingle,
That sudden explosion when two tingles intermingle. --Mrs. Kravitz
This dilusional twat was on the Today Show this morning and when she said she was a role model for all women, I spat out my Kashi! She reconciled with her mother because of the money and the publicity, and that's it folks!
I was watching her show and she was chewing out Dean the Lizard Man on how he wasn't being aggressive enough about getting auditions and how she pounded on doors and wouldn't leave until she got in the room to audition. Tori, it's not your tenacity and talent that got you any work, it was the fact that you're Aaron Spelling's daughter. Stop kidding yourself and stop insulting our intelligence.
"When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better." ~Mae West
It's been said before, but I feel the need to repeat: That bikini is lovely!
Oh bullcrap. A young woman with a disease like that will easily bounce back with some rest, good food and fluids in a week or so. What is she pretending to be, a senior citizen? Just say you overdieted you dumb bint. The fact that you're making up elaborate lies means you know it's true.
And her husband really does look like a serial killer. I'd say he has weasel eyes but weasels are too cute and fuzzy to associate with this creepy-ass dickwad. His eyes are soooooo close together and so tiny and beady. He looks like he'd steal your undershirt right off your body.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Icing sounds fucking lame as hell.
I accidentally (not really) farted when I read, "I'm a role model for a lot of women out there ..."
Someone's been listening to their own PR whore
I call BS on her explanation. A healthy young woman's body doesn't take a year to recuperate from the flu, no matter how hard the virus hit you. But then again, the role model comment already gave us a glimpse into her delusional mindset. Lol @ "trollmodel".
Her serial-killerish golddigger husband looks like the type to drive a dumb ho to starvation by reminding her every day in every day how chubs she is. Dude is pissed 'cause mama Spelling cut him off the millions, but he'll settle for whatever's left of Tori's trust fund and the freedom to bang strippers 24/7.
'I'm a role model for a lot of women out there'
Probably the same women who listen to Ke$hyte. Tori has a real frankenstein vibe to her.
that's Donna Summer in a funhouse mirror.
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And the thing that you're hearing is only the sound
Of the low spark of high-heeled boys
Maybe her book has a stupid name because it is a stupid book.
I don't wish death on her, but I really don't care. Anorexia can kill a person. If it kills her, no big loss. She has no talent.
"I hated her as Donna Summer on 90210 and I still hate her and dont get why she thinks she is an artist of any kind."
Actually she was Donna MARTIN on 90210. Donna Summer is a black woman, much older - sang disco songs in the 70s and 80s. I knew what you meant, but thanks for the laugh!
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
It's well-known she has an eating disorder and has had one for years. A friend of mine knew her as a teen, and he said she was an anorexic back then. Oh, and he really knew her as in his stepfather was a producer/writer who worked with Aaron Spelling for years.
she is soo not special......fugly and weird...steals her current husband away from his wife, then worries about her husband cheating...honestly I was hoping what she didn't get in the looks department she might have gotten in the brains department, but not soo....and it is called starving yourself dumb ass.,..that an lipo has you skinny...what a stupid, vapid bitch!!!
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Tori was simply misquoted; she referred to herself as a "troll model."
Horseytori looks like is my toilet brush.....
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"Yes, you should always make a wish before you blow anything. Know this!" M.K. 05/10
Why didn't anyone tell me that she is a role model for women?
Role model? Surely she jests! How much homlier and vapid can one be?
You know, I'm starting to think ANY skank ho can market herself as an 'inspiration' or a role model no matter how low down, back alley, on her knees bitch is behind the scenes as long as she find a forum to projectile shit out her mouf...
*Oprah Aha Moment*...
Tiger makes statement on recent weight loss...
*Ahem*.... "A lot of skank assed whores look up to me...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Blah. My kids and I had the swine flu and yes, it works you over but good and we all lost weight but how convenient for her that it "tore up [her] stomach" THAT badly. Come on Tori, at least try to be creative if you're going to spew bullshit!
I have no idea why women want to be super skinny anyway. When you're just skin and bones, it's not a good look. Give me some curves anyday.
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Hahaha! I read about this obvious mind-fuckery in Peepoo. Yeah, I will believe you had swine flu and lost a lot of weight from it and definitely do not have an eating disorder when you do NOT pose in a magazine with your stick-insect, skeletal arms showing.
Your squinty husband married you for your fame and connections, Tori. He totally fucks around on you with gorgeous women, and the truth hurts even more when you have NO self-esteem.
♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣
"You're disssthphicable!!!!!"
After the age of 16-18 no pigtails. It looks lame!!!!
hahaha
"You are a giant dork, nobody thinks you're cool, you'll never get laid. You are ANDREA ZUCKERMAN!"
Yes, I just took one of those tests. The worst thing is, I actually do have quite a lot in common with Andrea.
yeeeesh. what an unfortunate looking woman.
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you seem spritely.
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She is just fugly, no matter what she does. She has an ugly face, she has an ugly, unshapely body, she has an ugly mother, her father was just as fugly as she is, her life is fugly and she has a fugly career - if tripping on your dad's fortunes and buying your way into networks can be called a career. I hated her as Donna Summer on 90210 and I still hate her and dont get why she thinks she is an artist of any kind. I put ion the same ranks as Paris Hilton, Megan Cocks, Lindsay Blohan, Nicole richie, Kim Kardassian etc. She is still just the fugliest of them all.
...
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"Charlie you fucking bitch, let's work it out" - High Fidelity
Wasn't she photographed wearing that terrible swimsuit last year?
I swear I've seen this pic before but she wasn't so emaciated. That big ass head on those pitiful shoulders is just ick.
I'm gonna have me some bacon for supper in honor of the swines almost killing tori...
and in our final category tonight, the grossest chest in Hollywood Award goes to...
"But what of all those sweet words you spoke in private?"
"Oh that's just what we call pillow talk, baby..."
"I'm a role model for a lot of women out there"
Thank God for inhalers because that made me laugh so hard, I had an asthma attack! Role model....pfffttt. Ok. She must get her water from the same place as Tila Tequila. How many empires does this bitch run? And her body looks like hot taffy!
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"We're all puppets, Laurie. I'm just a puppet who can see the strings."
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That is a couple of very sad sacks hanging from her chest.
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Dammit Mike. Call me. Skype me.
'In her new book TerriTORI (I really can't with that title)'
Yea MK I can't with that either. Who okayed that crap name?
have u asses not watched 90210?! Shes ALWAYS looked like a tooth pick. I think its just her body type.
her boobs look horrendous
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No one looks up to you. Nearly everyone has forgotten your name.
Donna Martin masturbates!
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I don't know what it is about having an eating disorder that twists your mind around, but back when I starved myself in college, I was in crazy denial about it too. "I just have a high metabolism.... I'm a dancer, and it keeps me from putting on weight.... I've always just been slim." I have always been slim, but I wasn't eating ANYTHING, and I looked like shit then. And she looks like shit now.
Be real with yourself, Tori. Gain a stone or two. Start small. You'll probably fucking hate the way you look while the concave becomes slightly convex again, but ultimately it's better for your heart.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
Why wouldn't it be a GI issue?? Because she's a woman? GI problems (along with stress) is the leading cause of weight loss.