A Fist Pump To The Ears
The Jersey Shore's The Situation is shitting out a club song on iTunes next week, and above is a preview which will make you want to shove a morning after pill into your ear hole. The good news is that the Don Knotts of Guidos doesn't sing during this auto-tuned disaster, but the bad news is that he tries to rap. The Duck Phone probably raps better than this asshole.
The sad truth is that I can totally picture one of my cousins pussy popping to this fuckery on top of a box in the middle of a club in Riverside, CA somewhere. Every time the emergency siren blares in the song, she'll drop it low and kiss her Reeboks. Yes, she wears Reeboks to the clubs, because she says she can't bust it out for real in heels. Yes, I'm in the process of divorcing her.
And I'm still waiting for Snooki's techno house version of the Oompa Loompa song.
via ONTD
• 
Weak. But c'mon, you knew it would be.
GodDAMMIT his stupid cartoon face makes me rage. I just ravaged my carne asada torta, with vigor, and didn't even enjoy it because I'm all upset about this.
I hate this world...
B!i!i!iD~
For your health.
Ugh me too.. but he totally deserves it this time. Too far fuckface.
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*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-Hat 04/27/2010
I hope someone in a legal capacity noticed it. It's time someone took that jackass out for good. When it comes to lawsuits though, he seems to be Mr. Teflon.
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Even a small star shines in the darkness!
http://www.modestneeds.org/
Yeah she was in a dress without underwear and he posted it on his twitter. And I can't even imagine it is legal since she is still a minor. I guess his moronic self didn't remember that tidbit.
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*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-Hat 04/27/2010
DWM, by "snatch" you mean you can see her bits for real? God, why? I bet he gets a terse letter telling him to cease and desist! Is that even legal since she's still a minor?
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Even a small star shines in the darkness!
http://www.modestneeds.org/
So speaking of ugly messed up faces/brains... Did you hear Perez put up a picture of Miley's snatch. I'm pretty sure teh authorities frown upon that sort of thing. I hate him.
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*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-Hat 04/27/2010
Sure but the first thing Imma do is pick my nose at a stoplight. That's on my bucket list. Now that I'll be unemployed I don't have to adhere to an "image" for my company. THEN we ho de stroll! Or stroll de ho!
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Even a small star shines in the darkness!
http://www.modestneeds.org/
Are you gonna come work the ho stroll with me?
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*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-Hat 04/27/2010
My last day here is Friday so they can blow it out their ears.
TONG!
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Even a small star shines in the darkness!
http://www.modestneeds.org/
You just tell them they're jealous
TING!
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*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-Hat 04/27/2010
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Tue, 06/15/2010 - 7:42am.
*backs up dog with a triangle*
Ting!!
^^^^^^^^^^^
Dammit, DWM. You always make me LOL and then I have to endure stink-eye from my co-workers.
TING!
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Even a small star shines in the darkness!
http://www.modestneeds.org/
*backs up dog with a triangle*
Ting!!
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*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-Hat 04/27/2010
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Tue, 06/15/2010 - 7:40am.
Screw you. I'll have you know I play a world-class kazoo! I'm thinking of touring with Katy Perry since she has no talent, either.
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Even a small star shines in the darkness!
http://www.modestneeds.org/
Does everyone think they can make music? Every housewife, this douchebag and half of the disney channel has an album.
No thanks.
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*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-Hat 04/27/2010
Why does he like himself so much? He is not attractive in my eyes at all...inside and out.
this dude's 15 mins aren't up yet? what is so hot about him? i think he's butt fug but that's just me. i only listened to a few seconds of the shit song. LOL did horsey montag gallop in and help him with this mess?
in the united states alone, about 4 million cats and dogs are euthanized each year for lack of homes to adopt them. YOU can help stop this.. spay or neuter your pet. please "don't breed or buy while homeless animals die" and support animal shelters!
"Submitted by greeneyedmonster on Mon, 06/14/2010 - 11:19pm.
Why does it have to be in Riverside?! LOL"
Because Riverside is home to Raven from RuPaul's Drag Race and that automatically makes it a party town.
And this song made my head hurt. :(
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.
I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."
He has really small nipples
At work and really, really bored...
Why does it have to be in Riverside?! LOL
This stinks but will probably become popular for 5 minutes anyway. These Jersey Shore peeps are really pushing their luck...they just might hasten their own journey to public oblivion and it won't come too soon either.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCz0ZouYE0M
"True love is like seeing ghosts; we all talk about it, but few of us have ever seen one."
~La Rochefoucauld~
Every now and then, something comes along that makes me appreciate the fact that I live in the middle of nowhere, where there's no DSL or cable or interwebs satellite signal, and I'm on
dial-up.
This is one of those times.
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"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
--"The Little Prince", Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Which part was him?
Nevermind. It doesn't matter.
WOW...JUST WOW.
"No One Makes Me Bleed My Own Blood!"
Submitted by I heart Natalie on Mon, 06/14/2010 - 6:33pm.
If you wax the chest, shouldn't you be required to do the pits as well?
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I was thinking the same thing! Geez, you are already at the waxer, just lift your arms.
Submitted by Dog on Mon, 06/14/2010 - 6:12pm.
I'm still not sure what his situation is. Is it that his 15 mins are almost up? Is it that he's a douchebag? Is it that he doesn't realize 99% of the people on earth think he's a joke? What?
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Not according to the brain-dead sycophants who watch that show or read about them in the gossip columns. Actually, I'd like to take a guillotine to the throat of all those "guidos". I'd rather kill them than Megan Fox. At least she's not doing shit like Lindsay Lohan or any of these reality stars, doing the most pathetic shit for attention.
He should hide those double jointed freak fingers.
Head too small - abs too big.
Dudes & Dudettes, his hands look like that because they've been beating his monkey like little 3rd world country children in sweat shops ~DUH~
* * * * I HEART CAVEMEN & DEXTER * * * *
Submitted by mike on Mon, 06/14/2010 - 6:45pm.
He's no Smokahontas Jones.
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Now THAT song was gold. I think i worked "i got that work" into my daily vocabulary at least 3 times a day since MK posted that shit.
Um... It makes me want to move. Is that normal???? But I don't even own Reeboks!!!
* * * * I HEART CAVEMEN & DEXTER * * * *
With all the gym time, tanning & waxing this tool does, he forgets to take care of the armpit crisis he's got going on? Ick. Nast.
Submitted by mike on Mon, 06/14/2010 - 6:45pm.
He's no Smokahontas Jones.
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ha! how many of us were fighting back the urge to incorporate 'dat dope work bitches' or whatever into this lol. it took everything i had. i secretly wanted to continue referencing magnum and smoka. thx for taking the heat off!!
=== "...Find...And Fulfill...Your Destiny..." ===
Submitted by mike on Mon, 06/14/2010 - 6:45pm.
He's no Smokahontas Jones.
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Ahahahahah...thank God there's only one of those.
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ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND. IF YOU CANT GO ON A BOARD AND TALK ABOUT BOWEL MOVEMENTS AND HANGOVERS AND SHIT LIKE THAT THAN WHAT FUCKING GOOD IS IT HONESTLY. -- charlie m
I'm not going to listen. I do not need herpes of the ears and I cannot afford to lose any more brain cells.
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"You're disssthphicable!!!!!"
He's no Smokahontas Jones.
Submitted by JapJay on Mon, 06/14/2010 - 6:35pm.
LOL - a strong case for atheism? ;)
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Who Killed the Electric Car
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6GFxJcGzbE&feature=related
There is no way I'm going to press play on this one but calling him the Don Knotts of Guidos is hysterical.
They should to a guido version of Mayberry -- actually, maybe not.
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Who Killed the Electric Car
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6GFxJcGzbE&feature=related
I'll be honest, that shit made me start to fist pump...myself in the balls. There is no God, is there?
If you wax the chest, shouldn't you be required to do the pits as well? That's all kinds of nasty right there...
I smell a Grammy!!!
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ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND. IF YOU CANT GO ON A BOARD AND TALK ABOUT BOWEL MOVEMENTS AND HANGOVERS AND SHIT LIKE THAT THAN WHAT FUCKING GOOD IS IT HONESTLY. -- charlie m
yes i watched the hot mess that was season 1 of JS. but now they are so played, so overexposed that i won't give them the dvr time of day.
that song is the worst.
The video still is douchey enough, no need for the shiteous "song".
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"In other news, the University of Color Me Surprised released a report today which states that water is indeed wet. Mind. Boggled" - Michael K, who else?
Seriously hope this guy ain't a pedophile coz the only thing throwing themselves at him are twelve year old girls....
he's seems like a f*cking loser on every possible level
Submitted by Kerfuffles on Mon, 06/14/2010 - 6:18pm.
Submitted by Dog on Mon, 06/14/2010 - 6:12pm.
I'm still not sure what his situation is. Is it that his 15 mins are almost up? Is it that he's a douchebag? Is it that he doesn't realize 99% of the people on earth think he's a joke? What?
---
Most likely he does not care. It's the Speidi School of Infamy - celebutards who don't care if people talk smack of them as long as they talk about them.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This is why I refuse to watch reality TV.
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Even a small star shines in the darkness!
http://www.modestneeds.org/
hahaha! This is almost as crappy as 'I know you want me' by Pitbull or whatever his name is.
aaawww shiiitt doin' that techno pop-n-lock! not.
'k enough! he needs to hide his hands for real.
=== "...Find...And Fulfill...Your Destiny..." ===
Arrggghhh, he's got double-jointed fingers--- totally skeeves me out! I knew a girl in grade school with fingers like that--- she used to chase me all over the playground, the little bitch.
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I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood
you all knew this was coming...first the reality tv fame, next a recording contract, brace yourselves for the sex tape and the movie roles...'cause that is in the cards too.
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"Chupa mi pinga"
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