R.I.P. Jimmy Dean
Shove a stick up my ass (just knock the other ones out of the way), wrap me in a chocolate-chip pancake and take a huge bite out of my soul, because Jimmy Dean is dead! The country legend, actor, host and more importantly sausage king is now microwaving breakfast bowls for the angels in heaven. Jimmy passed away at his home in Virginia last night of natural causes. Jimmy's wife Donna says he wasn't suffering from anything that serious, so his death has come to a shock to her.
Jimmy Dean wasn't only known for his sausage (that wink goes out to Donna). Jimmy started out in country music and had several hits. Jimmy went on to host several talk shows including his own in the 1960s. Jimmy also did a little acting in Diamonds Are Forever and two episodes of Fantasy Island.
In 1969, Jimmy and his brother started his now iconic sausage company! Jimmy sold Jimmy Dean to Sara Lee in the 80s, but he stayed on as the spokesperson of the company until that pound cake-faced bitch fired his ass in 2004 because she said he was too old.
Rest in peace, Jimmy, and thank you for gently soothing many of my hangovers with your hot sausage grease.
And now you never have to deal with dumb shit like this again: