Hasn't Suri Been Through Enough?!
Since most people can't stomach Tommy Girl unless he's wearing prosthetics and covered with thick hair from one of Khloe Kardashian's wax strips, he has signed on to star in a feature film version based on Len Grossman, the character he played in Tropic Thunder. Well, actually some dudes can stomach Tommy Girl in his regular form if he pays them in cash beforehand. But that's besides the point. They are making a Les Grossman movie! I can't, and neither should you. Here's the press release from Paramount (via Coming Soon):
Paramount Pictures and MTV Films announced today that they are set to develop a movie around mega-producer Les Grossman. The announcement comes on the heels of Grossman’s groundbreaking and visionary production of the soon-to-be Emmy® award-winning 2010 MTV Movie Awards Sunday night. Tom Cruise, along with Ben Stiller and Stuart Cornfeld of Red Hour Films will produce and have secured the life rights to Grossman.Grossman, best known as a mega producer, has most recently mentored talents such as Rob Pattinson and Taylor Lautner. In 2008, Grossman was introduced to the masses by Stiller in the comedy “Tropic Thunder” where the famed producer had a cameo playing himself.
Said Ben Stiller: “Les Grossman's life story is an inspiring tale of the classic human struggle to achieve greatness against all odds. He has assured me he plans to quote, ‘Fucking kill the shit out of this movie and make Citizen fucking Kane look like a piece of crap home movie by the time we are done.’ I am honored to be working with him.”
This is going to be like Austin Powers meets a hairy asshole. You couldn't get me to see this smelly taint of a movie even if you told me there was a reserved seat waiting for me. A reserved seat that was actually a nekkid Mah Boo Anderson Cooper squatting with Red Vines in one hand and Strawberry Hill in the other. Okay, I would, but I'd sit the other way.


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Tommy Girl's elevator shoes are there for any doubters to see!
He does look like a middle-aged actress in drag!
The cult has him for good; seems that way. They know about the private lives of their hostages-er, members, just like the late FBI director, J.E.H. did about all the politicians/actors/celebs/you name it!
Just like Google has kept every e-mail ever written in its files.
I'll be avoiding it like the plague, but I don't think it's entirely inappropriate. TommyGirl is a fucking weirdo and extremely creepy and closeted, but I feel like in a way he is a victim of the Co$....they have him for life, and he fucking well better act like he likes it.
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how does a man so desperate, homophobic (but obviously homosexual), and brainwashed still get work? I always knew Paramount wouldn't let his bleached asshole go so easily.
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I reject this. He's gross. He'll always be gross, and there's nothing he can do to un-gross himself.
FWIW, I thought that Les Grossman was the best thing in Tropic Thunder. I only saw it because I wanted to look at RDJ. There is nothing even faintly amusing or entertaining about Ben Stiller.
i like tom cruise. get really good vibes from the guy. too bad he got sucked in by scientology but oh well thats his business. he got a horrible rap. he was just being himself and expressing his joy when he jumped on the couch. that was great when he corrected that asshole for squirting a watergun in his face. he got a little too shifty with matt lauer but he was actually mostly correct when it comes to prescription drug use.
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.....A reserved seat that was actually a nekkid Mah Boo Anderson Cooper squatting with Red Vines in one hand and Strawberry Hill in the other. Okay, I would, but I'd sit the other way.....
priceless!
The rest of this-I couldn't care less about Tommy Boy...f'n batshit crazy....
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Jesus, Ben Stiller and Tom Cruise are the large hadron collider of comedy.
Add Will Ferrel and Steve Carell and you have the four douchebags of the apocalypse.
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My obsessive fascination is in your imagination.
Considering the lack of talent in Hollywood these days, I am certainly not going to hop aboard the Tom Cruise Cannot Act & Should Die train.
He may not be the best actor ever but he certainly is nowhere near the worst. And I am not a huge fan of his, but I would rather have him on screen than these triflin' up and coming bitches.
And so what if he is a crazy Scientologist? The character he is portraying is insane too.
Perfect goddamn combination!
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O no no no no...this guy is cute but i do NOT need a whole movie about him. Tommy Girl needs to reach back inside and pull out some of the other freaks that reside there and they can play along but no. No WHOLE movies. Just no.
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"So what was the point? Summation: None." ~SLC Punk
What's it gonna be? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQXDtPswocs
Anyway, I don't see a whole LG movie as a good idea. he was an ideal sidekick.
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Submitted by shandi on Wed, 06/09/2010 - 11:17pm.
God, I can't stand Tom Cruise. He gets more and more annoying and pathetic every year. I never saw Tropic Thunder - I don't see anything with Tom Cruise in it. But from what I saw of the MTV Len Grossman bit, Len Grossman is NOT funny. And they are going to do a movie around this character? Sad.
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I'm sorry, but the LeS Grossman of Tropic Thunder is hysterical. MTV skits are usually silly, but the film was genius.
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A Len Grossman movie may be a stretch but I could see it working if it is done right. They just can not be all crazy Len all the time.
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Tammy is using the same position that she uses when she is 'easing down onto' a big thick 9-inch choriso!
Submitted by Naughychimp on Thu, 06/10/2010 - 1:32am.
"Well, Mimi Rogers said he wouldn't fuck her when they were married, and he wasn't yet 25 then" What- Mimi was allowed to talk about their lack of sex life and lived to breathe another day?! I thought that kind of thing could get a girl murdered by the Cult of Scientology.
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Mimi is a Sciento, and introduced Tommy to the church. Her interview was in Playboy many years ago. It was couched in a way that Tommy wanted to be a nun or a monk or something, but married her for some reason.
Here is a link to someone else who said this:
http://www.hollywood.com/news/Mimi_Rogers_Split_from_A_Celibate_Tom_Crui...
"Well, Mimi Rogers said he wouldn't fuck her when they were married, and he wasn't yet 25 then" What- Mimi was allowed to talk about their lack of sex life and lived to breathe another day?! I thought that kind of thing could get a girl murdered by the Cult of Scientology.
IMO the world would be a much nicer place if the age-card was left in the deck, because that would mean that you always have ample time to correct past errors. Now, people put a time limit on everything you do or feel up to, because you are supposedly to old. Pity.
Submitted by dementa on Thu, 06/10/2010 - 12:12am.
Re: Mimi and Nicole, didn't they have to call in a sex therapist to show him how to semi-convincingly pretend to fuck Nicole?
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Apparently, even he didn't believe it, since didn't he basically say Nicole had to have been cheating to have gotten pregnant?
And suddenly, with Katie, he was able to reproduce. Then again, maybe after 20 years of therapy, he was able to get an erection with a vagina in the room.
howdareyou,
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Yeah, but what about Isabella and Connor?
As far as I know, they don't work.
Although they probably volunteer at the Scientology Center.
Will Smith may be gay, but I don't think people really believe that as much as Tom, and let's face it, he's kind of winding down, too, in terms of action...he also doesn't do love scenes, at least not in my memory...maybe a kiss?
I'd have to believe that there will be some steamy scenes with Tom and Cameron and I would never see that movie because it would make me uncomfortable, just be he is so awkward in love scenes.
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"I can resist everything but temptation."
Re: Mimi and Nicole, didn't they have to call in a sex therapist to show him how to semi-convincingly pretend to fuck Nicole?
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by Centaurious on Wed, 06/09/2010 - 11:55pm.
Nicole said he rarely fucked her, too.
I mean, doesn't this guy have enough money?
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None of them ever do. Hell, Will SMith has probably made enough money that his great-great-grandchildren would never have to work a day in their lives, but now he's even got his kid out there making movies, I suppose so that he commands multi-millions per picture before he's old enough to drive. Tom will do the same with Suri.
Plus, they live so fucking lavishly. No one even doubted that TomKat bought an iPad for Suri. I read somewhere that when Nicole Kidman did Dogville, she flew on a commercial flight for the first time in 10 years.
And their church is pretty expensive. I figure Cruise won't quit until he has Muscavige's job.
He looks like your weird, unemployed 50-year-old uncle who lives with his mother, who you BEGGED your mother not to invite to the wedding, but she insisted and now you're being treated to the sight of his drunk ass on the dance floor doing it up to "Get Down On It."
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"I can resist everything but temptation."
We now have official proof that his career has hit rock bottom (stiop getting aroused, Tommygirl, I said "rock bottom" not "rock-hard bottom"!). Not only does his next movie look like a total turd, but now he's been reduced to basically playing a one-off gimmick parody figure. I'd feel sad for him if he hadn't done this to himself by being a prick.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Oh, but this is his best character ever!
Submitted by howdareyou on Wed, 06/09/2010 - 11:49pm.
Submitted by Centaurious on Wed, 06/09/2010 - 11:32pm.
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Well, Mimi Rogers said he wouldn't fuck her when they were married, and he wasn't yet 25 then. From what I recall of 25-year-old men, all they ever seem to want to do is fuck. So I wouldn't be a bit surprised if he picked up his middle name in early adulthood as a nickname for his favorite pasttime.
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Nicole said he rarely fucked her, too.
I mean, doesn't this guy have enough money?
I'm not gay-bashing, but this guy is an action star who women are supposed to want to fuck and men are supposed to want to be.
EVERYONE knows he is gay now, it's just common knowlege.
He needs to either hang it up and retire quietly to a large home with Katie and Suri with an even bigger staff of hunky houseboys, or come out.
His career trajectory is pathetic beyond words.
He's not even that old, for God's sake! He should be in the prime of his career.
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"I can resist everything but temptation."
Submitted by Centaurious on Wed, 06/09/2010 - 11:32pm.
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Well, Mimi Rogers said he wouldn't fuck her when they were married, and he wasn't yet 25 then. From what I recall of 25-year-old men, all they ever seem to want to do is fuck. So I wouldn't be a bit surprised if he picked up his middle name in early adulthood as a nickname for his favorite pasttime.
Submitted by howdareyou on Wed, 06/09/2010 - 11:28pm.
Submitted by Centaurious on Wed, 06/09/2010 - 11:20pm.
Also I find it interesting that he changed his name from Tom Mapother to Tom Cruise.
Was it motivated by his desire to "cruise" for guys?
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Excellent theory! Unfortunately, his bio has said for years that his birth name is Thomas Cruise Mapother IV.
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My theory is airtight...lol!
Get Det. LaToya.
Seriously, I am not kidding...I have a great memory and I seem to recall that people questioned the name YEARS ago, and that his people were all over that shit.
I am getting old, though, so who knows, dementia may be setting in.
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"I can resist everything but temptation."
Submitted by Centaurious on Wed, 06/09/2010 - 11:20pm.
Also I find it interesting that he changed his name from Tom Mapother to Tom Cruise.
Was it motivated by his desire to "cruise" for guys?
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Excellent theory! Unfortunately, his bio has said for years that his birth name is Thomas Cruise Mapother IV.
@ shandi: When we saw Tropic Thunder, not ONE person laughed in the theatre. A few people expressed they thought they weren't getting the joke. I found the movie offensive. And as for Tom Cruise. PFFT.
"This is going to be like Austin Powers meets a hairy asshole" AHAHAHAHAHHA AAHAHAHAHAHA
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POOP (nourish the inner asshole)- MK
Also I find it interesting that he changed his name from Tom Mapother to Tom Cruise.
Was it motivated by his desire to "cruise" for guys?
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"I can resist everything but temptation."
I cannot believe that he has sunk so low that he is going to do this movie completely disguised.
This is his version of The Love Boat.
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"I can resist everything but temptation."
God, I can't stand Tom Cruise. He gets more and more annoying and pathetic every year. I never saw Tropic Thunder - I don't see anything with Tom Cruise in it. But from what I saw of the MTV Len Grossman bit, Len Grossman is NOT funny. And they are going to do a movie around this character? Sad.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
I love Tropic Thunder but did it really do that well in theater or on DVD? Tom Cruise was funny but I'm not going to watch a whole movie about his character. Maybe a 15 minute short on HBO
Submitted by onesidhe on Wed, 06/09/2010 - 10:16pm.
Hey, I don't love the guy but at least he's trying something different. The "Knight & Day" crap with Cameron Diaz looks like absolute shit.
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Yeah, everyone is saying that he and Cam have great chemistry, but I don't believe that for a minute!
The weird thing is, the best chemistry he ever had was as a clost homo with closet lez Kelly in Top Gun!
He was hot with Rebecca Mornay and Elisabeth Shue, in Risky Business and Cocktail.
Now he's cold with every chick. Maybe because they know he's gay now?
I'm flummoxed.
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"I can resist everything but temptation."
At first, I agreed with elmo533, forget Suri, the rest of us have been through enough. I can't stand Ben Stiller, but briefly considered seeing Tropic Thunder because I love Robert Downey Jr. When I found out Cruise was in it, that pushed me back to hell no, thank you.
I watched the MTV thing and thought it was stupid.
But after thinking about it, yeah, make this awful movie mess. Make it because it will flop, and there might finally be the last nail in the coffin of his career. The movie will live on, because the Scientologists won't be able to pull the movie like they did his crazy church video.
I smell a bomb! A bad SNL skit that should only be five minutes becomes 80. Yuck.
No thanks. But I say that about all movies with Tom Cruise these days.
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Tom Cruise needs to be forcibly evicted from society and never allowed to return. And Ben Stiller stopped being funny a good while ago.
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"Now is not the time for your judgments when we're about to be impaled by raw vegetables."
Fuck Suri, the world has been through enough. 5 years ago TC would have never done a movie like this. Remember how he threatened to sue anyone who published pictures of him dressed as this character? Now he's desperate.
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"Draw a chalk outline of your vagina on the floor, because I'm going to murder it tonight! Cooch Scene Investigation!" MK
What a shit idea.
I never saw it, but I didn't realize Tropic Thunder was popular enough to warrant a spin-off movie.
"Hasn't Suri Been Through Enough. GREAT headline! See? You're a genius. I'm always telling you that. Even tho I have heard that Tom Cruise is an alien who whelps and eats his own young, I like Les, but not enough to sit through a movie. It's an SNL skit, at best.
Hey, I don't love the guy but at least he's trying something different. The "Knight & Day" crap with Cameron Diaz looks like absolute shit.
I would die to see Tommygirl be Les Grossman in every picture he does for the rest of his life.
Also, in his personal life.
Like KISS.
I might actually learn to like him then.
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"I can resist everything but temptation."