The Divorce Attorney Whisperer
The Dog Whisperer Cesar Milan is now Cesar M'alone (GONG!), because it turns out his marriage of 16 years was just an illusion (DOUBLE GONG!!). Cesar announced on his website last night that he and his wife Illusion Milan have decided to let go of each other's leashes. My mother already thinks Cesar is gayer than a Pom Pom in a sailor costume, so I'm already preparing my ears for a "SEEE!" Anyfudgepackleader, this is what Cesar wrote on his site:
We are sad to announce that after 16 years of marriage we have decided to file for divorce. The decision was made after much consideration and time. We remain caring friends, and are fully committed to the co-parenting of our two boys.
Maybe Illusion no longer rolled into a calm submissive state after Cesar went "TSST TSST" and poked her in the side? Or maybe Illusion got sick of Cesar putting her on the dog treadmill every time she wanted to do fucky times? Who knows, but these are not the questions you should ask your priest, therapist or dealer this week. You should ask them who in anal gland hell would name their child ILLUSION?! Did Illusion's parents have dreams of her becoming a headlining stripper in Florida or a children's party magician? I can't.
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Submitted by suckandfuck on Sat, 06/05/2010 - 12:40pm.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Sat, 06/05/2010 - 12:36pm.
no straight guys do gay porn to, some of them will only be sucked off they wont touch the guys.
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No disrespect Cupcake but I am an expert on gay porn and this is not true.
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Sorry S&F, but I do not know where you got that quote, because it is not mine, I said that no straight guys do gay porn. If a man engages in gay porn then he is at the very least bisexual. The last part of what you quoted me as saying was something HOTNEY said.
@Angel =)
was thinking that bitches will be coming out shortly!! (cuz we all know tig's hos done run dry then jjames' hos ran dry so something new must be brewing).
speaking of brewing, it's 2pm on a sat. time for sweet nectar.
=== "...Find...And Fulfill...Your Destiny..." ===
caprica, it was either that or she got sick of playing "go fetch".
I wanna see Cesar's whore circus!
When does the whore circus start?!
♥ Threadkilla!
"So what was the point? Summation: None." ~SLC Punk
What's it gonna be? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQXDtPswocs
LOL IslandGirl!!
didn't think of that. wait, maybe none of us should be thinking of that w/ those two. lmao
=== "...Find...And Fulfill...Your Destiny..." ===
I can tell from your column, MK, that you watch the show. Sorry to hear the news...but then again, why does anyone get married in the first place? This from me, in a long term marriage but not thrilled with it:((( Anyhoo, perhaps Cesar...who was discovered by Jada Pinkett Smith...is cozying up with her?
I've seen many of these straight actors interviewed who are 'gay for pay'.
They're all gay.
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by caprica six on Sat, 06/05/2010 - 12:48pm.
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Maybe she got tired of doing it doggy-style? :)
what happened w/ them? (too lazy to read full post cause i was distracted by his black shirt/tie-w/ grey-striped dinner jacket ensemble, CRIME!).
did she get tired of him whispering sweet nothings to our four-legged friends? she can't expect to hog his love!!
=== "...Find...And Fulfill...Your Destiny..." ===
Submitted by HOTNEY on Sat, 06/05/2010 - 12:44pm.
the guy is called chris rockway he is straight but he does gay shit for PAY!!!
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He's bisexual. DUH!
♥ Threadkilla!
"So what was the point? Summation: None." ~SLC Punk
What's it gonna be? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQXDtPswocs
yeah you can tell by lookin, why dyu think MK posts so much about guys who pretend to be straight but he calls them gay?
because they look gay!
like Leanne Rimes gay face husband
dyu think that all the girls who fuck each other are really gay? no they are straight but their job is to fuck.
sho does their job cos tehy like it? dyu think i am a fuckin photocopy enthusiast?
"I would like to be called an inspiration to people, not a role model - because I make mistakes like everybody else. When I'm offstage, I'm just like everybody else. "
Miss Britney Spears
* rams a 500 - Internal Server Error sideways up Hotney's gusty cervix * NOW MAKE ME A SAMMICH SCRAG! ******************************************************************************** Love me some chicken! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhcOWmjSBlg
I love it when MK gets so pissed off he just says, "I can't". I know what u mean michael k
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"My muffin hasn't had a cherry since 1939." -Betty White
Submitted by HOTNEY on Sat, 06/05/2010 - 12:41pm.
CRAM IT GRANNY!
i have saw straight guys doing gay porn. besides the man on the end of their dick they dont looking fucking gay to me,
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Riiiight. Because we can all tell whether or not someone is gay by the way they look.
Sheesh.
the guy is called chris rockway he is straight but he does gay shit for PAY!!!
if he was gay hed be gettin fucked but he wont do that cos hes straight.
just cos i can swim in the ocean it doesn't make me a fuckin jellyfish you scragtards.
"I would like to be called an inspiration to people, not a role model - because I make mistakes like everybody else. When I'm offstage, I'm just like everybody else. "
Miss Britney Spears
do y'all know Chris Rock was PRESIDENT of the fucking CHESS CLUB?? i heard somewhere he scored hella high on his standardized tests in HS, but yet dropped out. always knew he had him some superbrains; his comedy is infused w/ all kinds of reason and facts n shit.
damn you all! now i feel like throwing on his damn comedy special and i cant cause i got to study. UUGGHHNNNGAA
=== "...Find...And Fulfill...Your Destiny..." ===
I could totally see him having a Napoleon complex, Mr. "You want them to be calm submissive; YOU are the pack leader". Just what every woman needs in a man...
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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
LOL@people who believe everything they see.
♥ Threadkilla!
"So what was the point? Summation: None." ~SLC Punk
What's it gonna be? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQXDtPswocs
Submitted by HOTNEY on Sat, 06/05/2010 - 12:27pm.
I am anything by homophobic though. Sometimes i like to watch gay porn, but only if its straight guys doin it.
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O I see where this comes from now!
LOL! Silly girly - those guys are LYING! LOL!
Please tell me you knew that.
♥ Threadkilla!
"So what was the point? Summation: None." ~SLC Punk
What's it gonna be? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQXDtPswocs
CRAM IT GRANNY!
i have saw straight guys doing gay porn. besides the man on the end of their dick they dont looking fucking gay to me,
i like the videos where teh stripper makes the girl suck his dick behind a towel then he movs the towel and all of her friends see her with a cock i her mouth, TOOOO FUNNY!
"I would like to be called an inspiration to people, not a role model - because I make mistakes like everybody else. When I'm offstage, I'm just like everybody else. "
Miss Britney Spears
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Sat, 06/05/2010 - 12:36pm.
no straight guys do gay porn to, some of them will only be sucked off they wont touch the guys.
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No disrespect Cupcake but I am an expert on gay porn and this is not true.
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
They don't need no straight guys to make gay porn.
They have gay guys for that. Jeesh.
♥ Threadkilla!
"So what was the point? Summation: None." ~SLC Punk
What's it gonna be? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQXDtPswocs
Submitted by caprica six on Sat, 06/05/2010 - 12:31pm.
Submitted by agirl on Sat, 06/05/2010 - 12:29pm.
lmao. Agirl, remeber when C.Rock was saying that dads be claiming 'they take care of their kids' like its some favor? and C.Rock is like 'You SUPPOSED to do that you dumb m-f-er!!'
WERD. I find I almost always agree with what Chris Rock says. He's a smart feller and funny as hell.
Submitted by agirl on Sat, 06/05/2010 - 12:29pm.
What the FUCK is co-parenting? It is PARENTING, assholes! Whether you are married or not to the babydaddy/babymama, it is still PARENTING.
Oh that pisses me off. Like when men say they are "babysitting" their own damn kids. If the kids are yours it is not babysitting. It's PARENTING and you are supposed to do it so you don't get extra fucking credit points for doing it! (Chris Rock feels the same way I do.)
*climbs down off soapbox*
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LMAO!!! I remember that: "What do you want? A COOKE?!" I think Chris Rock also cut the audience off/was annoyed when they clapped when he mentioned he was a dad, because he, rightly, believes that he's doing the world no favors by having kids, just himself & his wife, etc.
Submitted by HOTNEY on Sat, 06/05/2010 - 12:32pm.
no straight guys do gay porn to, some of them will only be sucked off they wont touch the guys.
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This board is fucked!
Submitted by HOTNEY on Sat, 06/05/2010 - 12:32pm.
no straight guys do gay porn to, some of them will only be sucked off they wont touch the guys.
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SA-WEEEEEE-TEEEEEE! If you are a man, and you have another man suck your cock, you are gay, and gain at the very least Bisexual. Straight men do not have gay men suck them off, unless they are closet cases, in denial and tell themselves it is only gay if you open your eyes.
Men who do gay porn are gay or bi, not straight.
Submitted by mike on Sat, 06/05/2010 - 12:08pm.
His statement sounds suspiciously like Fran Drescher's recent statement (that her husband of many years was gay).
What? When? Truedat? Ohhhhh, snap.
Submitted by Bjork You on Sat, 06/05/2010 - 12:02pm.
Oh, and that licking-his-balls-on-the-floor-in-front-of-company thing probably didn't help either.
LOLOLOLOL! 'Splain that to the divorce lawyer!
Submitted by HOTNEY on Sat, 06/05/2010 - 12:29pm.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Sat, 06/05/2010 - 12:27pm.
this is the first time i've ever seen him, but he looks good in that picture.
you think i'd be disspointed in real life? ;)
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Man, HOTNEY, i dunno about you *still giving side eye*.
Roll with it though, if you think he is hot, it's not for me to tell you otherwise I guess. To each, his or her own.
Submitted by HOTNEY on Sat, 06/05/2010 - 12:27pm.
I am anything by homophobic though. Sometimes i like to watch gay porn, but only if its straight guys doin it.
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Straight guys doing gay porn? The way I see it, if a guy is doing gay porn, he's GAY.
@ HOTNEY
I have no idea what it means, but i love the term "douche-hot"..lol
no straight guys do gay porn to, some of them will only be sucked off they wont touch the guys.
"I would like to be called an inspiration to people, not a role model - because I make mistakes like everybody else. When I'm offstage, I'm just like everybody else. "
Miss Britney Spears
What the hell kind of name is Illusion? That's some Purple Rain shit right there. Anyways, I'll never understand how people can be married that long, have kids, and still not want to work it out. Besides serious cheating I guess.
Submitted by agirl on Sat, 06/05/2010 - 12:29pm.
lmao. Agirl, remeber when C.Rock was saying that dads be claiming 'they take care of their kids' like its some favor? and C.Rock is like 'You SUPPOSED to do that you dumb m-f-er!!'
=== "...Find...And Fulfill...Your Destiny..." ===
Google images has saved my panties a wash LOL!
he is actually kinda fug. I thought that he might be douche hot like Jon Gosslein.
"I would like to be called an inspiration to people, not a role model - because I make mistakes like everybody else. When I'm offstage, I'm just like everybody else. "
Miss Britney Spears
Submitted by HOTNEY on Sat, 06/05/2010 - 12:27pm.
i usually dont fid gay guys hot and theres nothign wrong with that opinion.
I am anything by homophobic though. Sometimes i like to watch gay porn, but only if its straight guys doin it.
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Uh *taps on glass* Uh, HELLLLLLLOOOOOOOOO! If you are a man, in gay porn, you are gay, no matter what you/they say! At the VERY LEAST, you are bisexual, but no straight man does gay porn, so maybe you need to check your definition of gay, straight and bi.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Sat, 06/05/2010 - 12:27pm.
this is the first time i've ever seen him, but he looks good in that picture.
you think i'd be disspointed in real life? ;)
"I would like to be called an inspiration to people, not a role model - because I make mistakes like everybody else. When I'm offstage, I'm just like everybody else. "
Miss Britney Spears
What the FUCK is co-parenting? It is PARENTING, assholes! Whether you are married or not to the babydaddy/babymama, it is still PARENTING.
Oh that pisses me off. Like when men say they are "babysitting" their own damn kids. If the kids are yours it is not babysitting. It's PARENTING and you are supposed to do it so you don't get extra fucking credit points for doing it! (Chris Rock feels the same way I do.)
*climbs down off soapbox*
HOTNEY thinks this dude is hot? MMMMMkay! *gives her serious side-eye*
i usually dont fid gay guys hot and theres nothign wrong with that opinion.
I am anything by homophobic though. Sometimes i like to watch gay porn, but only if its straight guys doin it.
and RUAL PENCILDICK, but your ear next to my balloon knot, i got somethin to say to you
your pencil dick would be better fit in a pencil
"I would like to be called an inspiration to people, not a role model - because I make mistakes like everybody else. When I'm offstage, I'm just like everybody else. "
Miss Britney Spears
Check this twink. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBOV8WzH-oY *********************************************************************************************** Love me some chicken! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhcOWmjSBlg
Good Lord. The division of the spoils here is going to be awesome, because Illusion ain't no fool and made sure she was all up in the Dog Whisperer business dealings. Go, girl.
I don't know if Cesar is gay or not, and makes no nevermind to me. I do think Dr. Rey is in deep denial (or the deep closet). As for Bear Grylls - he's just a freak.
Why is everybody so surprised that he is not gay (for the time being, at least)? Seriously, isn't more of a shock to see Dr Rey married with children?
Bear Grylls might be a bigger queen for all we know. After all, he gave himself an enema. :S
Wait...dude's not gay? I thought he was gay...what?
Ooh I like the blond model on the side. she looks very manly and androgynous. Much better than the flat assed stretched marked asian girl.
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"We're all in the gutter, but atleast some of us are looking up at the stars..."
Hey, 500 - Internal Server Error, I fucked your mother!Submitted by HOTNEY on Sat, 06/05/2010 - 12:00pm. Raul wants wreck Hotney's ballonknot doggie style, that way we can both watch cartoons. *********************************************************************************************** Love me some chicken! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhcOWmjSBlg
LOL @ "... who in anal gland hell..."
I'm against the gheydars movement but someone needs to let Cesar know with that ridiculous goatee he looks as straight as Dr Rey.
If MK's mother says he's gay, well then the man is gay. NEXT!
♥ Threadkilla!
"So what was the point? Summation: None." ~SLC Punk
What's it gonna be? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQXDtPswocs
"HOTNEY", there are so many deadasswrong things wrong with that statement.
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He said 'I'm your lover
I'm your friend
I'm purity
Hit me again'
His statement sounds suspiciously like Fran Drescher's recent statement (that her husband of many years was gay).