Khloe Kardashian Is Fat, Not Pregnant
A few days ago the creatures of the forest were left shaking in fear after hearing that a new Kardashian Sasquatch might be galloping through their parts soon to eat their young and hump their trees. But they can stop leaving extra Bigfoot traps out for now, because Khloe Kardashian claims she's pregnant with a gurgling lump of lard. Not a baby.
When Entertainment Tonight asked Khloe if the Kardashian family is adding another employee to their pay roll, she bluntly said, "No, I'm just fat." Khloe's mom Kris added, "If Khloe is pregnant, I would be the first to yell it. So, no, she's not -- unless they're holding out on me, in which case they're both grounded."
And since every Kardashian needs to wrap their mouth around a mic when near one, Rob also farted out his two pieces of caca regarding his sister being knocked up, "She's not pregnant. I live with those two, and I would know if she was pregnant."
Khloe is funny. Khloe's pimp QuickTrim should really add her "I'm not pregnant. I'm just fat" quote to every one of their boxes.
And that noise you just heard was every one of QuickTrim's competitors popping their load simultaneously.
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Someone once told me I looked like Khloe, but I didn't know the difference between Khlowie and Kim then. So I took it as a weird compliment. Youch.
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Why the fuck are these beasts famous? Who the fuck watches their show?
Khloe is a big mouth slob. Her and her sister will say ANYTHING on TV. They are a national disgrace!!!! Degrading our country.
Submitted by Centaurious on Fri, 06/04/2010 - 1:25pm.
I'm so sick of this Khloe bitch. Lazy shit.
I mean, what does she do? Huh? NOTHING!
Kim at least publicly humiliated herself getting pissed on for paycheck, and Kourtney tricked Scott into knocking her up for publicity.
Khloe really needs to step it up.
Can't she host Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom or something?
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O - I think she did alright. She got somebody to marry her! That's pretty much a fucking miracle in my book.
Submitted by Wren on Fri, 06/04/2010 - 2:31pm.
It looks like she has hairy pits in that pic.
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And yeah - her pits have 5 oclock shadow and it's HUGE! LOL! ugh.
♥ Threadkilla!
"{Those HOMEWRECKERS} look like a yuppie Japanese couple who Westernize as much as possible." ~TexnDoc
What's it gonna be? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQXDtPswocs
ew! piss-guzzling sasquatch hoors
I am seriously tired of the Kardashians. They are the least interesting people on this planet. Fame whores.
MTV was on and Kourtney happened to be talking about what she did when she was 17 and I swear, she talks really, really slow like we're fucking five and she's reading a story to us. I don't think she's all there.
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"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.
I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."
Submitted by vidz on Fri, 06/04/2010 - 2:37pm
I will check out that book I have to go to the library tonight so my son can return some books. Yeah I only concieve when Im trying not to!
~~Submitted by No Words on Tue, 05/25/2010 - 10:06pm.
People are tired of this shit night after night...we come here to escape from the minutiae of our daily lives...if I wanted to hear crazy people spout insanity, I would call my mother-
@Pamela, ME
Thanks for dropping the knowledge. Pammy, I love long ass stories! Anyway do try and check out the book, the metabolism miracle. It makes alot of sense scientifically (to me anyway).Some people just can't metabolize carbs correctly. Will try eliminating whites the next time I want to drop the weight quick.
]
@pam
Hmmm, sounds to me like you might have PCOS. but nothing to worry about, since you had no probs conceiving.
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"We're all in the gutter, but atleast some of us are looking up at the stars..."
It looks like she has hairy pits in that pic.
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Personally, I think Steven is just one of those natural crackheads. You know, those hos who act strung out, but aren't. They are primarily known as "Born-Again Christians."
Sorry, double post.
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Personally, I think Steven is just one of those natural crackheads. You know, those hos who act strung out, but aren't. They are primarily known as "Born-Again Christians."
Why does she live with her brother and sister? Aren't we supposed to believe she is happily married?
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Personally, I think Steven is just one of those natural crackheads. You know, those hos who act strung out, but aren't. They are primarily known as "Born-Again Christians."
Submitted by vidz on Fri, 06/04/2010 - 1:13pm.
@Pamela
You mean cutting out sugar and carbs alone made so much difference?
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Yeah thats it! I have been telling myself I need to get my lazy ass to the gym but walking 2 times a week for 1/2 hour is the best I have done. Im a dummy I had to look up what PCOS was, I have never been diagnosed with that but when I had my gallbladder out they saw a ton of tiny cysts and that guy thought I should see my gyno and have her take those out the same time he did the gallbladder. She was more intrested in doing her little acting in town plays then being a gyno so she never did(shes no longer my gyno). After my first pregnancy my dr ran some tests because I was such a lard ass and he came back with I had a fatty liver and prediabetes both reversiable by loseing weight. SO I lost pretty much all of it then opps got pregnant again.
SO we are back to square 1 two years later (yeah I know Im a procrastinator so what) I have just accepted that I will never be able to eat sugar again like alcholics will never be able to drink alchol again. WHite flour thats fine by me because I never really cared for it that much. Anyways this is what works for me you never no, there might be something else out there that works amazingly for you. You can try this if you dont like it dont do it. No matter what Im sure you will lose the weight you want to and look fabulous! Phew long ass story
~~Submitted by No Words on Tue, 05/25/2010 - 10:06pm.
People are tired of this shit night after night...we come here to escape from the minutiae of our daily lives...if I wanted to hear crazy people spout insanity, I would call my mother-
Thanks for the info Ploppsicle - he looks so familiar to me...
ETA - on his website he lists the color of his hair as "fair", lol! That's a bit vague, no? "Fair" is not a color...
Submitted by Centaurious on Fri, 06/04/2010 - 1:25pm.
She married a giant basketball player on a winning team - her dream come true. Pushing out a mini sasquatch is on her list, even if it hasn't happened yet. You know these bitches are all about competing with each other.
I hate this ho with a passion because she does nothing, is fug as hell compared to her sisters, but is getting paid to be a spokesperson for PETA and for weight loss crap while proclaiming she is fat.
Yeah, God, big fat FAIL.
Submitted by ploppsicle on Fri, 06/04/2010 - 11:29am.
I bet she thought she was pregnant, then realised she wasn't and got mad. So she ate the other one's baby in a fit of rage. I haven't seen that one for a while.
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Trudat! Where is Detective Latoya when you need her?
♥ Threadkilla!
"{Those HOMEWRECKERS} look like a yuppie Japanese couple who Westernize as much as possible." ~TexnDoc
What's it gonna be? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQXDtPswocs
I'm so sick of this Khloe bitch. Lazy shit.
I mean, what does she do? Huh? NOTHING!
Kim at least publicly humiliated herself getting pissed on for paycheck, and Kourtney tricked Scott into knocking her up for publicity.
Khloe really needs to step it up.
Can't she host Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom or something?
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"I can resist everything but temptation."
vidz - I am one of those people who cannot process carbs, hence my atkins (now varied) way of life.
I've always been thin/athletic, but I've always had to watch what I eat. White flour, sugar and "bad" carbs bloat me, constipate me and make me irritable. Plus, I learned after blowing up like a fucking balloon during my first pregnancy and then trying to lose the weight, I have to exclude those in order to drop the weight and now maintain my weight.
Like I always tell people, everyone's body is different and not just one "Diet" or way of eating will work for everyone.
Submitted by agirl on Fri, 06/04/2010 - 11:52am.
It is the reverent NOEL EDMONDS (um he's kinda young there)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noel_edmonds
English TV presenter and ledge. Used to present a Fri night show with a giant alien called 'Mr Blobby' and now present's Deal or No Deal.
He believes in cosmic ordering and believes his dead parents appear next to him in photos as orbs.
He wears flowery shirts and I just want a hug from him.
Pamela - ♥♥♥
@Pamela
You mean cutting out sugar and carbs alone made so much difference?
I happened to come across this book called the metabolism miracle. It's about how some people have a different type of metabolism called Metablism 2 or sth. Those people just can't process carbs for the life of them and are also prone to diabetes. . So it's not about calories but extreme moderation (extermination?) of carbs. Do you also happen to have PCOS? Aren't you worried about exploding once you reintroduce them into your diet?
And no worries, I was a 5Ft fatass. I used to look like a fucking football.
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"We're all in the gutter, but atleast some of us are looking up at the stars..."
Her body is O.K. It's her flippin' head that is all freaky. Like where are the electrodes that are suppose to be sticking out of her neck? And where's the stark black beehive with the bright white stripe running up the middle?
PS @ M.E. Thank you for helping me be not a fat ass anymore! Its greatly appreciated! ;)
~~Submitted by No Words on Tue, 05/25/2010 - 10:06pm.
People are tired of this shit night after night...we come here to escape from the minutiae of our daily lives...if I wanted to hear crazy people spout insanity, I would call my mother-
Submitted by vidz on Fri, 06/04/2010 - 12:26pm.
Hey lady! Yeah I did and I really do have a fat gene because my weight will fluctuate 10lbs up or down thru out the year.
Anyways I just came to realize I need to cut sugar out all togeather because I just couldnt handle just having it once and awhile. I had to have it all the time. SO I asked in here if anyone had any good sites and M.E. actually is on either south beach or atkins or a mixture of both. Basically no carbs meaning no sugar and no white flour. I dont miss white flour because I like wheat bread better anyways. I miss sugar sometimes getting off sugar was the worst! Like I was a herion addict! The first week or week and a half was hard but its easy now I just think about not wanting to be a fat ass.
Just as a side not I did lose 25lbs in 1 month and 1 week but to be fair Im 5'6 and a fat ass. I still have 40lbs to lose to be back at my prepregnancy weight which was 125. So if someone really wants to know how much of a fatass I am they can take the time to figure it out! :) Phew
~~Submitted by No Words on Tue, 05/25/2010 - 10:06pm.
People are tired of this shit night after night...we come here to escape from the minutiae of our daily lives...if I wanted to hear crazy people spout insanity, I would call my mother-
I like that she has a sense of humor about it, can you imagine "size 2" Kim saying that??? Also she's not fat, she is just a big girl. For shit sakes, she is like 6ft, she has a big frame!
ed lover said it best...khloe looks like frankenberry...as far as i know, frankenberries cannot reproduce...
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what you gonna do? tell mom and dad I put your dick sucking list on facebook?” – "i love facebook like you love cock..."
Thank god! This is one dumbass cunt who does not need to be warping a childs mind and fucking it up for life!
~~Submitted by No Words on Tue, 05/25/2010 - 10:06pm.
People are tired of this shit night after night...we come here to escape from the minutiae of our daily lives...if I wanted to hear crazy people spout insanity, I would call my mother-
@Pamela
Yo girl you in here? you mentioned about losing 25lbs in a month on another thread? How did you do it? I lost a bunch the old fashioned way but they're creeping back on me. i guess some of us really do have fat genes.
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"We're all in the gutter, but atleast some of us are looking up at the stars..."
Haaaa Haaaa FAT not PREGNANT!!!!
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I'm countin' on Jesus at this point.
Why must you quote mama Kris? Cannot stand her and frankly, isn't it time these *girls* were on their own without mommy? A quote from Kris is like the NY Times quoting Mary Lyle last week...who the eff needs it??
If she HAD been two-months-pregnant, she wouldn't have had any excuses. A baby at two months is the size of a kidney bean.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Skank yes. Fat no. This girl actually looks healthy compared to most of the hollywood stick insects.
Trannies cannot get pregnant.
As if!
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Facebook: Triston
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You know Kris pimp slapped Khloe for fucking with her money. She knows she won't get yet another cover this month declaring how skinny they are (seriously is there a contract that says they have to do those monthly?).
Oh well, wouldn't amaze me if the fat line was just some excuse. Unlike her mother she isn't the type to run to the papers so soon (no wonder Kris jumped to the conclusion that Khloe was lying to her).
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Fri, 06/04/2010 - 11:21am.
Can we please put an end to the bandage dress trend? Or, at the very least, ban ugly cunts with shitty bodies from wearing them?
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Not the most attractive style, but those dresses do wonders if you have absolutely no curves at all, and you want to create the illusion of them.
Isn't this girl under contract for a reality show? If she's pregnant, it'll probably be the season finale reveal or some shite.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
PLOPPSICLE who is that in your AVIE?? I must know!
Well she could be fat AND pregnant, if not for the fact that she is MALE.
Her brother lives with them? Well, I guess if they bought a big house, it would be ok. But I think for the first year of my marriage, I wouldn't want any roommates, especially relatives!
To quote Maggie Griffin: "They're just such skanks".
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"I get a kick out of being an outsider constantly. It allows me to be creative. I don't like anything in the mainstream and they don't like me." ~ Bill Hicks
Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Fri, 06/04/2010 - 11:25am.
I owe Ryan Gaycrest a kick in the nuts for that shit.
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Snort.
Like he actually has nuts...
Wait...it was like a week or so ago that she was on the cover of one of those dumb magazines with her sister Kim talking about how they lost weight. Then a few days ago she's reportedly pregnant...and now she's just fat.
Ahhh...the Kartrashian circle of life. :-P
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Many people don't realize that playing dead can work not only with bears, but also at important business meetings.
Submitted by misskitty on Fri, 06/04/2010 - 11:24am.
Bwahaha! That is why Khloe is the only one I can really tolerate in that family. I love a big girl that can just say, 'I'm fat'. Kim is still trying to convince everyone she is a size two or something ridiculous like that. My prediction, as all the girls get older Khloe (who has more personality than the rest, probably because she has never relied just on her looks like the rest) will end up a very handsome older woman and the rest will look like desperate plastic surgery addicted freaks.
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Agreed. And I don't think she's that bad looking now.
Bitch needs to go back into the ocean!
Coma Caca!
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Submitted by ploppsicle on Fri, 06/04/2010 - 11:29am.
I bet she thought she was pregnant, then realised she wasn't and got mad. So she ate the other one's baby in a fit of rage. I haven't seen that one for a while.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
or maybe the dingo ate her baby
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►I hate you, Darlton. I hate your freaking sadistic guts◄
Imagine if she really was pregnant, how ginormous she'd get!
Nice pic. kim whoretrashian showing her sister the correct way to suck off an elephant.
I wonder if celebrity rehab would take this entire family for being disgusting attention whores...
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"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." - Brit's Tits
Submitted by CuriouserAndCur... on Fri, 06/04/2010 - 11:16am.
She fatting up so she can lose it again and get another bikini cover, duh. It's the circle of life for those tards.
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THE TRUTH
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►I hate you, Darlton. I hate your freaking sadistic guts◄
Yeah true story on the circle of bikini covers with life.
Friggin sad.
However, MK, you got me cracking up as usual as well as everybody else's comments.
I bet she thought she was pregnant, then realised she wasn't and got mad. So she ate the other one's baby in a fit of rage. I haven't seen that one for a while.
I am having a web cam baby!! and I'm not fat mmmmkay!
Which Kardashian is who?? I will forever ask this question ahahaha
Coma Caca!
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