Lindsay Lohan As Linda Lovelace
The Linda Lovelace biopic starring Lindsay Lohan hasn't even started shooting yet (and it probably never will), but there's already posters out for that straight-to-Skinemax disaster. Yeah, LiLo is playing Linda Lovelace. She calls it "acting," but most of us are calling it on the job training for her future career.
Anyways, Tyler Shields shot the pictures for the poster, and you can tell this trick spent hours upon hours researching every little thing about Linda Lovelace. You should unbutton your top two buttons so you can feel my sarcasm gently hit your chest.
I mean, everyone knows Linda Lovelace constantly had her fingers in her mouth just like Lindsay Lohan! Seriously, why does this bitch always have her hands up to her mouth in every picture? Do her phalanges pores secrete liquid Adderall (highly possible)? Does she wear polish made out of coke on her nails (again, highly highly possible)? It's as if she's got tiny penises on her hands instead of fingers. Just bite a finger off already and stop!
via TMZ (Thanks Ben)
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Ahahahahahahahahha!! Seriously, WHAT a poor choice - ESPECIALLY when you're better known for disgusting antics than good work.
She is such a moron: genes and nuturing combined created this mutant skank.
A more realistic movie would be Linda Lovelace playing Lilo in the 'Lindsay Lohan Story'.
I wouldn't want to do a film about somebody who fucked a dog...not the best role model...we get it Hohan, you are really a ho deep down inside, but get over your ass...most porn stars end up having lonely lives filled with drugs and potential diseases...a few do good and move on, but always will be remembered for doing nasty shit on screen....no real redemption, and I can't think of too many (except for that gorgeous brunette married to the musician) that actually seem happy...I am talking to you Jenna Jamison, they all end up looking like crap with big inflatable titties and no real employable skills...and after about your early thirties nobody wants to see your ass on film anymore.
So........ we have a poster but no funding? I got that right yeah? I call bullshit. What a mess.
Life imitating art or what?!!
Well, good for her. Atleast she doesn't have to do much to prepare for this role. She went from the Parent Trap to this?? Geez... she's hit rock bottom!
Assuming (and this is ass-u-me'ing) that at some point in the future she cleans up her act, she's going to look back on this time in her life and think "Holy shit! What was I thinking?"
But we all know she probably won't ever clean up her act, huh?
Pathetic.
I thought this twat waffle was going to be attending her classes everyday or was that all bullshit just to try and get out of wearing the scram? I guess that is a stupid question. She wouldnt have even done that shit if she had gotten out of the scram and her dumb ass would still be hanging at the bars.
On topic: Id bet my life her mother talked her into this porn flick. Because mama is low on coke and can only afford to buy shoes at payless when they are having there bogo sale!
WTF is this dollar store hipster shit??
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Census Taker (Tina Fey): How would you describe your ethnicity?
Betty White: Superior to Asians, but not as smart as blacks.
Call me old fashioned or whatever but if I was wearing a SCRAM bracelet and due to face the judge, who was pissed at me at my bail hearing, in 5 weeks or so to determine if I violated the terms of my probation (which obviously is the case) my droopy, skinny, freckled, shit-crusted, well known about town ass would not be at a salon for 5 hours, showing how self involved I am nor would it be at night clubs or bars, "sober" or not. Not only do you risk random alcohol from others setting of the alarm in some way, it looks bad, bad, bad! It screams "I don't care what you think or want from me. I am young and therefor have the right to socialize every evening until the wee hours in a place totally inappropriate for recovering addicts. You can put the bracelet on me and make me piss in a cup but I still have an effective way to get high (off my prescription meds). I am bammed out on Adderall and Oxycontin and you can't do a thing about it, nanny-nanny-boo-boo. I will not stay at home nor do activities that sober people do, not even just to look good in the court's eyes. I don't care and won't change." It tells the judge that the moment that bracelet comes off, she will go right back to the bloated, brunette mess she was. I am not saying she has to feel the spirit of recovery in her heart. That is for her to decide but I would sure as hell portray myself as someone who was serious about sobriety and recovery. Lilo used to be an actress so, that shouldn't be a tall order. I used to think she was smart enough to know when to manipulate but it is clear that this chick is dumber than a rock.
I would be walking the walk and all Lilo does is talk that talk...sorry for the cliche but it fits. I certainly hope she made up her missing classes. I know that she made up one already and had two to go. I also realize that the judge said she has to go to one class a week at the minimum so, making up both remaining classes in this same week doesn't excuse her for the next two weeks. It would however, catch her up and show that she is not trying to get by on the very bare minimum. It says, "Hey, look at me, I am committed to this recovery and sobriety thing...so much so that I am actually willing to attend more than one class a week, for this week, in order to get back on track and not be in class-attendance debt." I would make sure the paps saw me walking around with my Sponsor and the Big Book of AA in my arms, complete with dog eared pages and a bookmark. I would say goodnight to the paps outside my home as I return in the evening and tell them that I just came from my daily NA/AA meeting and am calling it a night at 9:45 PM or thereabouts. I would be up early in the morning and heading for the gym, a run in the canyon, a yoga session or something else Aniston-y every day. I would do something kind for my community without being sentenced to do it. I would do that quietly so it doesn't look like a PR stunt but obviously someone will see me and the paps will show up to document my kindness.
In other words, I would be contrite, concerned, humble and grateful for the fact I was not in jail already. But, that is just me.
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"And people try to tell me that God wasn't high on the good shit when he made this place" -by angel_i
lol
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Don't hate me cause I'm DLeautiful
Submitted by Soultonic on Fri, 05/28/2010 - 10:04am.
I think she's perfect for this role. Both Lindsey and Linda were messes. I smell an Oscar worthy performance.
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I smell bullshit and meth.
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I hope by age five Suri "refuses" to wear anything but pasties and a thong. - madam s.
This POS isn't even in production yet.
How the fuck did these asswipes insure her ass? This movie looks low budget as all hell. Did they spend every dime on her insurance?
I think she's perfect for this role. Both Lindsey and Linda were messes. I smell an Oscar worthy performance.
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Don't hate me cause I'm DLeautiful
GET YOUR GODDAMNED FINGERS OUT OF YOUR MOUTH WHORE!
Wait, this mess is called INFERNO? Why not FIRECROTCH?
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"You, sir, have the charisma of a damp rag and the appearance of a low-grade bank clerk."
Based on the pictures from his blog, Tyler Shields looks like a big fucking hack. You pose in your own photographs? Give me a break.
Just the final step before she gets spit out the bottom of the porn industry.
Who never saw this one coming ?
In their quest to cast a 'bankable star' they are shooting their feet off. This bitch has never made the transition from child star and never will.
LiLo will not finish the movie. She's not able to show up on time, say her lines, and hit the marks. That's just reality.
Everything else is just a sham.
She entertains by getting wasted, drunk, and stoned. The general public loves to see her ruin her life yet wants her to end her life. Why? Cause she wasted her opportunities, ergo she should disappear.
Just wait til the judge get her in court. LiLo is going to rehab or do time.
Ok a) I think I'm still drunk from last night. and #2 -- I love her flashdance hair.
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*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-Hat 04/27/2010
Submitted by Doll-Parts on Fri, 05/28/2010 - 3:20am.
YES. Courtney Love was "signed on" to do this at least 3 years ago.
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O, I was busy with this shit last night.
That's an entirely different project. But get this - I'm 99.9% sure that Courtney put that out there herself.
1. It's in production now under that name but by a different production house.
2. EVERY single article had 3 lines that she was in the movie and then went on to become a mini-bio for Courtney....
3. Totally by chance I came by Kevin Aucoin's photobiography...OMG Courtney, Madonna and TINA TURNER featured as the Triple X Women of Rock. I, seriously, had to look at it a coupla times to beweave it.
Anyway, yeah - she wasn't involved in THIS project...that's still just Rose and Ana, as far as I can tell...
PS@Datura: OMG yes! I din't even think of that!
*smooches@fishY*
♥ Threadkilla!
"I have a mouth and I'm not afraid to use it." ~Professor Whoreface
Every hoe ha dem stick a bush!~Jamaican Proverb:)
What's it gonna be? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQXDtPswocs
Inferno? So the movie is named after Lindsay's fire crotch, I suppose.
I'm wholly misanthropic, so I hope Blohan DOESN'T have a comeback. What the hell has she done to deserve renewed adoration? She's a selfish fuck-up and, by various accounts, a horrible and undependable person. Why should she have success?
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
I second that. I hate it when everybody says just how talented she is...it makes me wonder..do they actually think she has talent or are they just repeating word that a good publicist probably made up?.
I personally can't stand her acting or that voice...grr that voice..
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Submitted by Doll-Parts on Fri, 05/28/2010 - 3:20am.
YES. Courtney Love was "signed on" to do this at least 3 years ago. The "director" (gotta love quotation marks!) is pulling their dicks as well as ours.
I'm curious about the "it's so sad, she actually has talent" crap I've been hearing about LiLo for YEARS. WHERE? Where is the talent? (Say it in your best Clire Huxtable Voice). Mean Girls was pretty good, but not because of LiLo, she was merely a capable actress. Talent would imply that she carries a film, and...when did that happen? In the film "Life-Size"???
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Thu, 05/27/2010 - 9:30pm.
it looks like she's drowning in a pool of urine. Maybe she's also filming The Kim Kardashian Story.
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Nice one! LOL! :D
*eye roll* Why doesn't Blohan quick dicking around and just do a real porno film already?
Haha!! AND Anna Faris? And Angelina Jolie?
YES. Courtney Love was "signed on" to do this at least 3 years ago. The "director" (gotta love quotation marks!) is pulling their dicks as well as ours.
I'm curious about the "it's so sad, she actually has talent" crap I've been hearing about LiLo for YEARS. WHERE? Where is the talent? (Say it in your best Clire Huxtable Voice). Mean Girls was pretty good, but not because of LiLo, she was merely a capable actress. Talent would imply that she carries a film, and...when did that happen? In the film "Life-Size"???
I am...doll parts...bad skin...doll heart.
Submitted by Glambert on Fri, 05/28/2010 - 2:15am.
Co. and Sign. Every year I hope she'll redeem herself, but it never seems to happen. I remember a Linda Lovelace movie with Angelina Jolie circulating a while back, so maybe this is real.
People want to bash this right from the start because of Lindsay....
The thing is BITCH can actually act!(TRAINWRECK? sure! but she is a good actress!!) This movie could turn into "I Know Who Killed Me 2" but it also could become the next "Boogie Nights"!
I actually hope Lindsay will pull a "Drew or Robert Downey Jr." because she is messed up but she actually has some talent.
:D
*quickly photoshops Ang and me on movie poster*
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POOP (nourish the inner asshole)- MK
I seriously doubt if this is a safe project for Lilo at this point in her life. I can totally see her identifying herself with Lovelace, up to the point of wanting to go out with a bang too. All her latest "work" has been about self-destruction and living on the edge.
Submitted by fishsticksfan on Fri, 05/28/2010 - 12:31am.
Ang, somehow I feel like that sums up my whole 'career.'
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LMAO! Me too! :(
♥ Threadkilla!
"I have a mouth and I'm not afraid to use it." ~Professor Whoreface
Every hoe ha dem stick a bush!~Jamaican Proverb:)
What's it gonna be? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQXDtPswocs
Ang, somehow I feel like that sums up my whole 'career.'
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POOP (nourish the inner asshole)- MK
What the hell?
Courtney Love has reportedly agreed to play legendary porn star Linda Lovelace.
Daily Variety says that the 40-year-old actress and singer was attached to a biopic of the life of Deep Throat star Lovelace being developed by producer Jason Blum's firm Blumhouse Production.
The movie, tentatively titled Lovelace, will trace Lovelace's life from the age of 17,
2005...o but wait - that's a series or some shit and someone else is making it now...
But my point was: this guy has been talking about making this movie for 2 years and all he has to show for it is a poster and a delinquent visit to Cannes.
♥ Threadkilla!
"I have a mouth and I'm not afraid to use it." ~Professor Whoreface
Every hoe ha dem stick a bush!~Jamaican Proverb:)
What's it gonna be? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQXDtPswocs
I'm guessing next stop Dancing with the Hasbeens a la Pam Anderson.
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POOP (nourish the inner asshole)- MK
Why doesn't Lindsay just star in a remake of "The Towering Inferno" and call it a day?
I mean, that was always known as the last stop on the way to the glue factory for has-beens.
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"I can resist everything but temptation."
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 05/27/2010 - 11:51pm.
TRISCUIT! AND PEACHY! OF COURSE!
(I haven't said "hi" cuz I'm not super reliable over here:)
"Actress" is being exceedingly generous.
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LOL!
yeah actress is kinda like saying perez hilton is a celebrity .
nightie !
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by Mr. Mercury on Thu, 05/06/2010 - 9:39pm.looks just like Jimmy Lee Taylor, the super fat kid who lived across the street from me back in the day. Jimmy Lee married an inbred hillbilly gal and tried on several occasions to electrocute his mother.
TRISCUIT! AND PEACHY! OF COURSE!
(I haven't said "hi" cuz I'm not super reliable over here:)
"Actress" is being exceedingly generous.
♥ Threadkilla!
"I have a mouth and I'm not afraid to use it." ~Professor Whoreface
Every hoe ha dem stick a bush!~Jamaican Proverb:)
What's it gonna be? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQXDtPswocs
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Submitted by Triscuit on Thu, 05/27/2010 - 11:38pm.
guys...don't kill me. I'm too lazy to google,who/what about Linda Lovelace?
movies?porn?cokehead?
I honestly don't know!
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she was an actress , did a movie called "deep throat" this movie became the first porno to be mainstream.
she had an ugly life
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by Mr. Mercury on Thu, 05/06/2010 - 9:39pm.looks just like Jimmy Lee Taylor, the super fat kid who lived across the street from me back in the day. Jimmy Lee married an inbred hillbilly gal and tried on several occasions to electrocute his mother.
So I guess Ana Faris turned this movie down...since 2007.
http://hollywood-elsewhere.com/2007/09/faris_linda_lov.php
Submitted by Noelegy on Thu, 05/27/2010 - 11:27pm.
Matthew Wilder? Surely not the Matthew Wilder who performed "Break My Stride?"
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Ha! No - he's Matthew Wilder (11) ...he has one movie (Your Name Here) which I might check out...but isn't rated very highly...
I think he's a cult flick guy.
♥ Threadkilla!
"I have a mouth and I'm not afraid to use it." ~Professor Whoreface
Every hoe ha dem stick a bush!~Jamaican Proverb:)
What's it gonna be? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQXDtPswocs
guys...don't kill me. I'm too lazy to google,who/what about Linda Lovelace?
movies?porn?cokehead?
I honestly don't know!
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You Has A Smelly Cootch
Submitted by KidL on Thu, 05/27/2010 - 10:20pm.
I do tend to believe that Lovelace was abused as a child. The woman had some serious issues.
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Yeah...you just never hear much about her parents. And her decision...with that man who I don't blame for her initial choices but I do blame for her subsequent training. He snatched up a woman who was heartbroken and dying for freedom but with NO concept of what that meant. Cuz I don't think her parents were NECESSARILY straight up abusive - *I* might call it abusive but everybody knows I'm a no good commie.
This stuff - which I knew from her book but wiki lays out neatly and also like I said at the beginning - I never took her book word for word - like the Tiger over there I looked for clues:
Boreman moved back to New York in 1970. She was involved in a violent car crash, requiring her to undergo a blood transfusion which would lead to later health problems. She returned home to recover.[2]
[edit] Career
[edit] Pornography
While recovering at her parents' home, Boreman became involved with Chuck Traynor. According to Boreman, Traynor was violent and controlling. She said he forced her to move to New York, where he became her manager, pimp and husband.
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Of course, saying he FORCED her got her out of responsibility for WANTING to be there. She always talked about being angry at her parents for leaving New York. Then they committed the ultimate autonomy over her - they took her baby. Motherhood makes you nuts, man. That's brutal.
The car crash is a clue too. Cuz that's how she died. That's what she does when she's totally out of control and doesn't know how to find it - she crashes cars.
Choosing Chuck was stupid, yes, but this is a woman with no professional help trying to find stability - the only stability she knows is being controlled. And just like she obeyed her parents and her teachers and the church she obeyed Chuck - becuz he was setting her free from them.
But, of course, she didn't KNOW that. She was just following her stupid, under-developed heart.
♥ Threadkilla!
"I have a mouth and I'm not afraid to use it." ~Professor Whoreface
Every hoe ha dem stick a bush!~Jamaican Proverb:)
What's it gonna be? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQXDtPswocs
Matthew Wilder? Surely not the Matthew Wilder who performed "Break My Stride?"
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Really don't mind if you sit this one out
My words but a whisper, your deafness a shout
--Jethro Tull
Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 05/27/2010 - 10:52pm.
Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Thu, 05/27/2010 - 10:51pm.
Lohan's life really is turning out to be a paint-by-numbers E! True Hollywood Story. So predictable, yet so irresistibly entertaining.
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Hell, it's almost a story worthy of the Onion with no creative editing!
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LOL! Seriously, it's like a spoof of the typical Hwood spoiled childstar trajectory.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Thu, 05/27/2010 - 8:14pm.
Submitted by boomsy on Thu, 05/27/2010 - 8:00pm.
What a lot of people don't seem to know is that even though Linda was so anti-porn after her heyday, she actually started posing nude again because she was unable stay employed when people found out who she was. There's a documentary called 'Insude Deepthroat' about her that was actually pretty interesting. Sad part was at the end they mention people are trying to convince her daughter to follow in her mother's footsteps...
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Excuses are great, aren't they? You want to tell me she couldn't find a job as a cocktail waitress??? SHE WOULD HAVE MADE BANK...BASED ON who she was.
I just don't buy her story anymore that I buy Lilo's. I think it's a shame that we look at our present celebs with such a jaundiced eye, but the past ones get a break eventhough they used many of the same tried and true PR techniques to get what they wanted as the ones today...BECAUSE THEY WORK...
The abuse excuse is nothing new (*ahem* Jesse James)...And people who knew Linda also knew she was a drug user and alcholic who often had bruising due to her own inebriation. Was she also abused? I don't know. The ONLY evidence is her own word....So then, we believe also "the black kid did it"..."not my pants..."...
The woman deserved compassion for being a living creature who (presumably) meant no harm to another before, during and after her porn career. She may have even deserved a second chance to be something other than a pornstar. It didn't happen. Why? Life's unfair...or she pushed some bullshit that was too hard to swallow with the 'abuse excuse' too far? Dunno...but worse tragedies happen every day and I don't see Swinum sticking her privileged snout all up in those issues.
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I LOVE YOU TIGER & THIS POST IS WHY!!!
Submitted by Pearl_Necklace on Thu, 05/27/2010 - 10:51pm.
Lohan's life really is turning out to be a paint-by-numbers E! True Hollywood Story. So predictable, yet so irresistibly entertaining.
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Hell, it's almost a story worthy of the Onion with no creative editing!
♥ Threadkilla!
"I have a mouth and I'm not afraid to use it." ~Professor Whoreface
Every hoe ha dem stick a bush!~Jamaican Proverb:)
What's it gonna be? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQXDtPswocs
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Lohan's life really is turning out to be a paint-by-numbers E! True Hollywood Story. So predictable, yet so irresistibly entertaining.