The Don Draper Of Toddlers
EMBED-Ardi Rizal - The real SMOKING BABY !! - Watch more free videos
When I was 2-years-old I was still licking windows and chewing on bed skirts (some things never change), but this badass Indonesian butterball can work a cigarette like a grand master pimp.
This is 2-year-old Ardi Rizal and he smokes up to 40 ciggies a day thanks to his dad who gave him his first taste of nicotine at 14-months-old. I don't whether to weep for his tiny lungs, or laugh at the thought of him rolling up to a group of smokers in his toy trunk to ask them for a hot fag.
Ardi's mother says that her son's habit costs the family around $5.50 a day and he only smokes one brand. Ardi's mother cried as she said, "He's totally addicted. If he doesn't get cigarettes, he gets angry and screams and batters his head against the wall. He tells me he feels dizzy and sick."
And it's totally not weird when Ardi reaches for a pack of cigs after drinking from his mom's tete or asks her for a light while she changes his diaper.
The government has agreed to give Ardi's family a new car if he quits. But Ardi's father, who is about to be named Person of the Century by the tobacco companies, doesn't know what the big deal is, "He looks pretty healthy to me. I don't see the problem." Just so you know, Ardi's father is legally blind and has no nostrils.
I don't see the problem either. So he'll get a voice box installed in his froat before he can make complete sentences. Regular talking is overrated! So he'll probably start craving a little whiskey with his cigarette. Bottom shelf booze is cheaper that baby food!
But serious talk, the family should take that car from the government and drive Ardi into the jungle to be raised by wild monkeys. He'll be better off.
via The Sun (Thanks James G.)
• 
This is the part that cracks me up:
And it's totally not weird when Ardi reaches for a pack of cigs after drinking from his mom's tete or asks her for a light while she changes his diaper.
http://www.sceneoutlines.blogspot.com
Submitted by JaneDoe on Thu, 05/27/2010 - 6:25am.
wait does this mean your homeland is indonesia too? lol.
Maybe he did but I think this is the first time he said "chichis" in indonesian, now that is awesome :P
Glad that the homeland worth mentioned in dlisted though for weird reasons but hey it only means the country speaks dlisted language :D
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Yup proud Indonesian here :D.Now if only a Hot Slut of the Day will someday come from here and I'll probably explode and re-post it everywhere.
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Well I am a little late to this party but wtf happened to parents saying "no" to little kids? Hmmm?
Babeh's hot-boxing that cig, eww!
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"Kirsten suspected she might be knocked up when her monthly batch of menstrual berries weren't delivered to her vagina dock. " -- Michael K.
is this kid latarian miltons friend who "smokes with cigarettes?"
i love latarian milton
Submitted by lessa on Thu, 05/27/2010 - 3:39am.
Don't worry you're not the only one!:D
I thought it was kinda cool too when it popped up on gawker.
I know I shouldn't have but it's just so unreal, seeing something that popped up on your local news,to suddenly go viral.
And actually MK already did some features where Indonesia made the headlines Jane!The 19.2 pound baby (also from Sumatra!) and also the manusia pohon, I think.
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wait does this mean your homeland is indonesia too? lol.
Maybe he did but I think this is the first time he said "chichis" in indonesian, now that is awesome :P
Glad that the homeland worth mentioned in dlisted though for weird reasons but hey it only means the country speaks dlisted language :D
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I will not come home drunk
I will not come home drunk
I willnt come hom drunk
I willna brom hom drunk
I wina dunk hum brump
I feel dizzy and sick from just smoking one cigarette now but I used to smoke all damn day. don't miss the disgusting habit at all. poor kid.
Submitted by JaneDoe on Thu, 05/27/2010 - 2:20am.
I know it is bad to celebrate but damn I am still proud. lol.
MK, you should write about 2 women who have 25 kids from Indonesia. and no, they don't get help from the government nor get some tv shows. which probably what we should do to octocrazy, the duggars and that Kate person..
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Don't worry you're not the only one!:D
I thought it was kinda cool too when it popped up on gawker.
I know I shouldn't have but it's just so unreal, seeing something that popped up on your local news,to suddenly go viral.
And actually MK already did some features where Indonesia made the headlines Jane!The 19.2 pound baby (also from Sumatra!) and also the manusia pohon, I think.
I know it is bad to celebrate but damn I am still proud. lol.
MK, you should write about 2 women who have 25 kids from Indonesia. and no, they don't get help from the government nor get some tv shows. which probably what we should do to octocrazy, the duggars and that Kate person..
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I will not come home drunk
I will not come home drunk
I willnt come hom drunk
I willna brom hom drunk
I wina dunk hum brump
WOW. this is the day that I never dare to dream about. It is the day where my homeland gets to be mentioned in Dlisted, the day where MK knows the Indonesian for chichis.
for these reasons alone I will run naked around Michigan.
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I will not come home drunk
I will not come home drunk
I willnt come hom drunk
I willna brom hom drunk
I wina dunk hum brump
First, the baby's dad is an idiot.
And yes, idiocy knows no geographical bounds.
However, I don't get it if people complain about his weight,he's a toddler!
For sure this is not only the scariest and funniest baby I have ever seen but sure to be dictator of Indonesia one day. I want to see the video of when he doesn't get his fix.
The trailer trash mentality knows no geographical boundaries.
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
Not only does the baby have a nicotine problem, but he is fat, too! Dad teaches him to smoke and the parents feed him too much (or just the wrong stuff) - great parenting.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
40 cigaretts a day! Shit, it took me a long time to get to two packs a day and this toddler is already there, poor kid, stupid parents!
April 2 was my 15th anniversary of quitting, YEA!
Apparently there's another one. My intern (yes, they love working for me) told me when I showed him...I made him go back to work tho before he could show me tho, cuz Youtube is a slippery slope, friends;p
♥ Threadkilla!
"I have a mouth and I'm not afraid to use it." ~Professor Whoreface
Every hoe ha dem stick a bush!~Jamaican Proverb:)
What's it gonna be? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQXDtPswocs
Submitted by Dr. Dick on Wed, 05/26/2010 - 7:15pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Wed, 05/26/2010 - 7:05pm.
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That would be a large, fatty meal even for a Tiger! I just don't understand why the shallow end of the gene pool just keeps going and going......
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Dat's why you need to uncage ALL our asses and put away your guns...Yep, us Tigers can clean up your gene pool right quick "donning 'Kiss The Cook' apron, chef's hat, tongs and firing up the grill..." Anyone know the proper time to marinade a moron?
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I don't think a moron needs marinading, they're just good straight up! Get the coals fired up!!!
Submitted by cuntess on Wed, 05/26/2010 - 7:52pm.
The government should offer $2500 to anyone under the age of 50 willing to undergo voluntary sterilization.
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WHERE'S THAT PETITION?!!! damnit, where?!! AGREED. shit. enough is enough. forget the money, two cases of beer, a year's supply of govt cheese and a roll of scratch-offs will do. i bet you devolved bitches (which is the target demographic we're aiming for here, folks) be jumping on that damn offer w/ a quickness.
TEAM DEVOLVED INFERTILE BITCHES, SCRATCH OFFS AND GOVERNMENT CHEESE
=== "...Find...And Fulfill...Your Destiny..." ===
The government should offer $2500 to anyone under the age of 50 willing to undergo voluntary sterilization.
What's scary is that kid looks and acts like he's been smoking for 20 years. Not only did his dumbass father give him the cigs, he clearly taught him how to smoke them.
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Even a small star shines in the darkness!
http://www.modestneeds.org/
Submitted by Dr. Dick on Wed, 05/26/2010 - 7:15pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Wed, 05/26/2010 - 7:05pm.
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That would be a large, fatty meal even for a Tiger! I just don't understand why the shallow end of the gene pool just keeps going and going......
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Dat's why you need to uncage ALL our asses and put away your guns...Yep, us Tigers can clean up your gene pool right quick "donning 'Kiss The Cook' apron, chef's hat, tongs and firing up the grill..." Anyone know the proper time to marinade a moron?
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
somewhere lohan is booking a flight to Indonesia STAT cause bitches w/ the same mental/emotional age equivalence are her heroes and equals. she be truly at home in that kid's hut.
OT i'd punch that kid's parents and strap that kid to a bamboo shoot about 30 yards from the hut so that he's free to cry out his withdrawals. he'll be fine after about a week; little kids are so resilient like that. plus the free-range wild cats and boa constrictors will scare him straight and set him on the path to righteousness. he needs to own his 'little buddah'-ness.
=== "...Find...And Fulfill...Your Destiny..." ===
Wow..just seeing this. Um, I'm actually speechless.
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Don't hate me cause I'm DLeautiful
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Wed, 05/26/2010 - 7:05pm.
---------------
That would be a large, fatty meal even for a Tiger! I just don't understand why the shallow end of the gene pool just keeps going and going......
YUCKO, YOU BE EEEEEEBIL AND IS DA DEBIL!!!! :-)
Naw, kids gotta learn that they need to do shit they don't wanna do...cuz that is what life is about...Life is about doin' shit you don't want to do, so you can SOMETIMES to SOME DEGREE do SOME of the shit you wanna do....
I mean, think about your daily routine, how much of it would you like to eliminate with no consequences whatsoever so you could do the fuck what you want? Shit, for me? EVERYTHING 'cept what I wanna do...including showering and brushin' my teefs...but world don't work that way....They's consequences, so's I gotta do shit I don't wanna do in order to do the shit I do wanma do...Ain't no way around it, else yo' ass end up in a mental institution, on the streets, in jail or dead.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
You think that's sick? Back in the days of the Harlem Renaissance (20's-40's)there used to be rent parties and having entertainment was one of the ways to get people to come an pay. One party was known for having a female smoking. Yes it was still scandalous for a woman to smoke with abandon but the attraction wasn't her smoking using her mouth. She was smoking using her bagina!!!! Sick!!!!
Submitted by Dr. Dick on Wed, 05/26/2010 - 12:41pm.
Why are really stupid people so fertile????
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Because they are and produce easy prey for us predators... and/or anything else the dumbfucks get involved in that will inevitably lead to their 'untimely' demise....
Meh, it culls the human population...and FEEDS.MAY.BELLAY....So, BRING IT!!!!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by yucko on Wed, 05/26/2010 - 5:25pm.
I don't think you're a cold-hearted bitch at all. I agree 100%. It's sad when kids get their feelings hurt but so not sad if they start crying due to something that is ultimately good for them. Yeah, like a vaccination. Then, a little empathy, an "it's ok" and a kiss on the cheek is appropriate. But hardly a reason to be torn up, I think, or post about it on FB. I mean, if you can't put it in perspective and hold it together for your kid's vaccination, how can you expect them to?
Aside from the fact that they were stupid enough to give him cigarettes in the first place, it always pisses me off to hear parents whine about how they can't deprive their kid from X or Y because they start crying and whining and throwing a hissy fit. So-fucking-what? That's what toddlers do.
I have a relative on my facebook who I had to block newsfeed from due to the nonstop BARRAGE of baby pictures popping up. In one of her "status messages" she whined about how she couldn't stand to see her baby crying when he had to get his vaccinations. I just thought, "Yeah, well it's that or he gets a possibly life-threatening virus?" I know I sound like a cold-hearted bitch, and no I don't have kids. But of course I might feel a little tug at the heart strings if my kid was crying, yet there's no point in dwelling on something that's necessary and that the kid is probably going to forget about in an hour anyway.
You guys can feel free to tell me how evil I am, because this time I'd totally understand why someone might think that. Not saying my feelings are the best ones, those are just my thoughts on the subject.
And on the topic of facebook, god I hate it when people post the most trivial shit as if other people might actually care. I like keeping up with people and knowing what they're doing, but I don't like reading, "John needs to go study," "John stopped studying for now," "John just wrote the essay for his DeVry application."
Lastly, that kid is really cute. Poor kid.
The vid's still on the link to The Sun article.
Kid has serious dexterity for 2 years old.
You can't tell me he's not the Buddha incarnate.
He's adavanced for his age, but it will all go to waste. Probably a genius, given the way he mimics what is clearly the old men of his village sitting around smoking. I was waiting for him to spit and yell for a beer.
Submitted by Dr. Dick on Wed, 05/26/2010 - 12:41pm.
Why are really stupid people so fertile????
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Right? You would have hoped Mother Nature would have built something in. I suppose that's why not everybody believes Darwin.
♥ Threadkilla!
"I have a mouth and I'm not afraid to use it." ~Professor Whoreface
Every hoe ha dem stick a bush!~Jamaican Proverb:)
What's it gonna be? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQXDtPswocs
here is the link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3ldTfAR3aM
Wow. Disgusting and so disturbing. Somebody shoot those assholes.
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"When you lay down with dogs, you're bound to get some fleas, girlfriend."
-Submitted by hollie. on Fri, 05/21/2010 - 2:20pm.
I didn't get to see the video before it was removed. Does the little tyke light his own fags? That would impress me.
I'm having funny flashbacks to middle school science class. The smoker kids were always the best at lighting the bunsen burners.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
Well remove the fucking video, thanks alot You Tube. But anyone giving a toddler cigarettes should be shot, regardless.
Submitted by harveyprice on Wed, 05/26/2010 - 1:35pm.
I secret smoke in my garage with the thought of "hey, at least it's not crack".
____
Ha, I've actually used that against my parents when I smoked in the past. They would keep getting on my case about quitting and I'd tell them to not be so dramatic because it wasn't like I was smoking crack. They just glared at me.
Fucking child abuse right here. How can they keep custody of this child when they let him smoke? It's almost so ridiculous I want to laugh. If they were giving him beers and whiskey whenever he wanted, what would the government do then? Offer to buy them a new house?
Two packs a day.. I swear this story seems so unreal. At this rate he'll have lung cancer probably when he is 15 or 20 and if not that then any number of other health problems. What a bunch of asshole parents.
EDIT: just wanted to say I never saw the video because it has been removed so I dunno if it's as bad as the story makes it or not.
Smoking is fucking disgusting and smokers ALWAYS stink, but hey I say smoke up, hack up a lung after 20 years or so with that smokers cough, get those famous smoker's lines in your face, fuck up you teefs..... that's more social security for the rest of us! I just hope you have someone lined up to carry your oxygen tank for you when you need one.
Submitted by Dr. Dick on Wed, 05/26/2010 - 12:41pm.
Why are really stupid people so fertile????
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When you're really stupid, instead of studying or working like most people of your demographic, you start fucking at a young age. The younger you are, the more easier it is to get pregnant and the more babies you will have over a lifetime. It's much harder for a 37-year old (and thereby perimenopausal) female rocket scientist to get pregnant than it is for a ripe 15 year old who's only form of entertainment and stimulation is sex. Add to that a lack of access and awareness of birth control and ta da---a bunch of little Ardi Rizals.
Submitted by Britneys cheap ... on Wed, 05/26/2010 - 1:46pm
I saw it on the sun's site. Follow the link.
Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Wed, 05/26/2010 - 1:10pm.
Submitted by chowgirl69 on Wed, 05/26/2010 - 1:07pm.
Submitted by Sexy Pants on Wed, 05/26/2010 - 1:01pm.
Submitted by Dr. Dick on Wed, 05/26/2010 - 12:41pm.
Why are really stupid people so fertile????
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I would love to know!
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Me too!! I'm sure there must be a genuine, scientific explanation for this. Maybe Gods way of compensating somehow? Like, "look I'm sorry ya got shorted in the brains and common-sense department but to make up for it I'm gonna make it SUPER easy for you to make babies, mkay?"
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Sounds like advice from the Pope.
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Lol. I like your theory better than mine. I always figured it was just because stupid people don't give a fuck. "I don't have enough money or sense to take care of myself... might as well have lots of kids! Easier than putting on condoms!"
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
I tried a cigarette when I was like 3? My aunt used to smoke (Marlboro Reds) and I thought my aunt was the coolest. She asked me to stub out her cigarette one day (not sure why) and before I did I took a puff. I hated it but oddly enough when I was in high school I would smoke now and again and sometimes do socially (ie when I'm drunk) and I've never been addicted to the things. I spent one summer with a friend who always smokes so when she'd smoke I'd have one too. I came home and didn't need to touch another one for like 2 years. I don't know if there's a correlation between the two but hey you never know.
If cigarettes make you skinny why is that little butterball so damned fat?
This is nothing. On CNN a couple of months ago, they showed young kids, maybe 4 or 5 years old, in Afghanistan smoking heroin.
I don't fucking understand people. Why the FUCK would his father give him a cigarette in the first place?
CERTAIN PEOPLE SHOULD NOT BREED!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK! And I WAS in a good mood.
*tries to find happy place*
Where else can I watch it the video was taken down
March Hare: I have an excellent idea, LETS CHANGE THE SUBJECT.
I secret smoke in my garage with the thought of "hey, at least it's not crack".
Woa. Not only he's a smoker but already has boobs. He must be a witch or something.
Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on Wed, 05/26/2010 - 1:11pm.
Does this kid have more "bad assery points" than Latarian Milton under his belt?
Cage match!!!!!!!