Tammy Lynn Michaels Has Some Shit To Say
When Melissa Etheridge and Tammy Lynn Michaels announced the end of their relationship in April, the former called their breakup "mutual" in an interview with Oprah. The day the Oprah interview aired Tammy hinted on her blog that the split was the opposite of mutual. Tammy quickly deleted that post, but now she has brought the raw emotion in a new poem she posted on her blog on Thursday.
Some choose to show up at their ex's job to throw shit at them in front of all of their co-workers, and some choose do it from the comfort of their own blog (why are you throwing eyes at me like that?). Tammy's 45 million word poem of broken hearts and toddler caca is after the jump. It's not required reading and you won't get extra credit for it, but Tammy does kick Melissa hard in the bagina bone, so maybe it's worth a scan. And she also talks about poles up her ass. That's our language! JUMP!
no more censorship for me?well, no censorship?
really, honey?
awesome.things can be a long time coming
to one
and smash the hell out of
another:
hit and run
not even staying to clean up the messsecrets, with-holding,
whispering to all but
the one whom holds the vows
and the toddlersdisappearances into the
hourglass-shaped wood with strings
never to finish a fight
never interested in clarifying,
making sense, making it right
even finishing the fight
more interested in making something rhyme
time after time after time
and later angsting that you and me, WE
it didn't work out
you evolved
you needed to be happy-
but really... you withdrew your hands
from family and intimacy
to pluck those strings more
Story continues belowi'd rather hear 10,000 fans
screaming my name in worship
than hear my wife harp on me
about my family intimacy issues too,
you know?
which one is going to get me harder?
easy answersideswiped and left mangled
up to my eyes in toilet training toddlers
and sounds of a guitar wailing
letting me know
you would probably leave me soon
i know those heart-ache wails by nowi even told you it was a break up album
and you laughed at me
you laughed and laughed
i heard fearless and i got sick
"that's your break up song with me"
i said to you
you got so angry with me, remember?
and stomped offso thank you for telling an interviewer
that you WON'T censor me on my blog
(i thought i was to say nothing, my bad)
i was so unhappy thinking people dare look at me
and think that i consider
a marriage and forever to be
nine years or six years or whatever
and i gave up on everything
and just walked off
never is that me... nope, nevercuz i did not go anywhere, honey.
and you and i both know it
please stop telling the press it was mutual-my birthday rolled around,
the holidays....
and me and the twins sat right there waiting...
we didn't go anywhere. we just
sat and waited and waited and waited and waited....."i saw you with your new friends....
you wear them so well...."i think you're saying it's okay
to be more open now on this blog?
whew.
good. cuz sitting on the fence of
"speak true"
and
"say nothing"fucking rides a pole so far up my ass it nearly pierces my brain, and i can't take it anymore, now that i am back home where people don't live in the smoke and mirrors.
oh, and don't let me forget this.
i still love that damn woman so much, i'm still trying to stop. i had a dream last where honey and i were fighting and going to get a divorce, and i woke up sobbing.... then i realized. oh. it's true. and then what do you do? when the horrible feeling in the dream gets to stay even after you wake up?
there. there is my truth as of today.
home again.
home again.
feeling true.
feeling honest.
Damn. Melissa is going to have to put a flannel band-aid on the bruise Tammy just gave her. And after that shit heals, you just know Melissa is going to snatch this poem, turn it into a song, make millions of dollars off of it and spend the money on her soon-to-be 20-year-old trophy girlfriend.
via HuffPo
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"The one whom holds...."??? Uhm, no. Bad grammar is bad.
I never liked Melissa, so it comes as no shock to me that she's a big asshole. However, why do people in general and celebrities in particular feel like everything they do or say must be Twatted about? News flash: No one gives a shit. And we REALLY don't believe you when you say you are hunted by "pavarotti" and the newsmags and then blather your private business all over the interwebz.
ARGH! Lezzie drama is as boring as the straight kind.
♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣
"You, sir, have the charisma of a damp rag and the appearance of a low-grade bank clerk."
I think when Hollywood lesbos have kids they should have to post a bond to cover the future therapy costs for the poor kids they FUBAR
Submitted by Mr. Mercury on Sun, 05/23/2010 - 4:25pm.
...and gay men are accused of being drama queens! I know a lot of lesbians, and have seen a shitload of drama that I, as a gay man, could never hope to equal. Gay men handle breakups differently:
1. Mutal "I hate yous" are exchanged and bags are packed. New apartment follows.
2. "Let's just be friends!" "Okay." Cocktails follow.
3. (if cheating is involved) "Is he interested in a three-way?" Lube follows.
4. (if drag is involved) "Don't you take my favorite wig!!" Hairspray follows.
See how easy that was? Ladies, calm the fuck down.
-------------------------
Mr. Mercury will you please be one of my gays? I heart you. No foolin'. Pleeeeeeeease?
Signed, NYC Fag Hag
I blame the BROWS. On bofe of them.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sun, 05/23/2010 - 6:52pm.
~~~
Hot dang!
I remember Tammy Lynn as Nicole from Popular so this is fairly surprising to me. Hope she feels better about things soon.
Relationship drama of any gender is boring though.
********
"In other news, the University of Color Me Surprised released a report today which states that water is indeed wet. Mind. Boggled" - Michael K, who else?
So Etheridge is a dead beat dad & the wifey is pissed about having to be home with the kids and waxes poetic. That's all I get from this shit.
~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~
http://www.careerbuilder.com/monk-e-mail
Melissa and Ellen should get together.
OMG Tigerlilly that is a fucking hilarious story! Uber-dyke and Lil' dyke, love it!:)
LOL!! Its sounds like Melissa Etheridge tends to respond to conflict in a relationship the way most men do, by withdrawing and trying to distance themselves from the problem rather than by confronting it head on.
When I read her autobiography it seemed as though her ex-girlfriend Julie Cypher was the dominant one in their relationship and that she was the one who hurt Melissa first, not the other way around. Never did like Julie, she always seemed like a total bitch to me. Sorry things between her and Tammy didn't work out though:(
Submitted by bambam on Sun, 05/23/2010 - 10:11pm.
Damn. Dayummmm. Ain't no comeback for that. I said it earlier Melissa needs to stop having kids in every relationship she has, she's as bad as some men.
GIVE HER THE FORMULA BAMBAM! She is fucking up!
I kind of liked the poem...? I can see Melissa sweet talking Tammy into letting her use it, then fucking her over again. Don't trust a ho!
Tammy sounds stressed, raising kids alone...she should come join us dlisters so she can bitch and moan in good company!
You are so hot, let's get crazy, do some coke
-Pat O'Brien
Here's what I am going to do, I am going to read up on how to be a Buddhist, and I am gonna pray to Buddha that he is going to reincarnate me so when I kill myself I can come back and be cool as
fuck like you.
Forget Tammy & Melissa. I'm on team "the four kids who have to deal with this crap and don't have a choice in the matter" or Team Bailey, Becket, Johnnie Rose & Miller (for short)
I just wanna know where the frig tigerlily went to college ?????????? That's some crazy shite with your roomies
Thx Soultonic.
My friends still laugh about that incident.
I'm no litter bug.
But that night, trash out the window was a MUST.
@TwatsThat:
>> So essentially, Melissa is Jerry Lee Lewis with a vagina....?
LOL. But Melissa didn't off three of her 18 underage semi-incestuous wives.
---
I know, I know, Tammy's in pain...but I got a little bit of a naggy vibe from her post.
Submitted by Zonko on Sun, 05/23/2010 - 10:29pm.
But i decided to keep an open mind, took the cassette from him, and started to listen to it as i was driving home. It made me so angry and nauseaus, i chucked the fucking tape out of the window, and it flew over the Franklin Bridge.
------
lol I love that story.
*************
Don't hate me cause I'm DLeautiful
I'd rather eat my own shoe than to have to listen to one of her nails-on-a-chalkboard cds.
When her 1st lp was released, i was working at Tower Records in Hollywood. My friend told me how great it was, and how i HAD to hear it. I listened to punk, and 60's garage - i wondered why he insisted that i hear it.
But i decided to keep an open mind, took the cassette from him, and started to listen to it as i was driving home. It made me so angry and nauseaus, i chucked the fucking tape out of the window, and it flew over the Franklin Bridge.
The fucking thing is probably still laying there 22 years later. Who would ever want it ?
How Rude!!!
"Please sir, I want some more" Oliver Twist
Damn. Dayummmm. Ain't no comeback for that. I said it earlier Melissa needs to stop having kids in every relationship she has, she's as bad as some men.
*********
Too late in life I've discovered the formula; Make a fortune, get married, have kids, get divorced, take care of the kids, stay single til you die.
Submitted by Lope on Sun, 05/23/2010 - 9:52pm.
This is the thing, people change and they lose the love for someone. Do you a) stay for the sake of the children or b) leave. The only way she is a douche is if she dumped the kids on Tammy. If that is the case, then she's guilty as charged.
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Um, no, she's a douche for letting herself grow apart from her wife and not taking the time and effort to try to put it back together. You don't just happen to grow apart- that happens when you don't put any effort into maintaining the relationship. And if that does happen, you have to do what it takes to grow back together. People change throughout their lives. A marriage requires that the couple grow in the same direction.
-----
So, basically you have to try and try and try to work things out and make yourself love that person even though you don't love that person anymore. You can't make anybody grow in the 'same direction' that's unrealistic. Everybody grows differently and it can't be controlled or forced. You can only try for so long to 'force' yourself to work things out or 'force' yourself to love someone.
*************
Don't hate me cause I'm DLeautiful
So Etheridge is the gayelle version of Lance Armstrong? Damn - that's a shame :(
_______________________________________________
hey "anonymous" if u are still on here, you have issues. please find the nearest bridge and take a flyin leap!
-- Says the slut from Full House with smelly feet :P
Okay.....
This is the thing, people change and they lose the love for someone. Do you a) stay for the sake of the children or b) leave. The only way she is a douche is if she dumped the kids on Tammy. If that is the case, then she's guilty as charged.
-----------------
Um, no, she's a douche for letting herself grow apart from her wife and not taking the time and effort to try to put it back together. You don't just happen to grow apart- that happens when you don't put any effort into maintaining the relationship. And if that does happen, you have to do what it takes to grow back together. People change throughout their lives. A marriage requires that the couple grow in the same direction.
Submitted by misskitty on Sun, 05/23/2010 - 7:49pm.
I do not like Melissa Etheridge. I used to like her music until the whole mess with Lou Diamond Phillip's wife. Then she dumped her (after children) and married this one only to dump her (after children). I do not care if she is a chick, to me she is a first class douche. No different than any loser douchey dude going through a mid-life crisis.
_____________________________________
I have no sympathy for LDP's wife because she DUMPED HIM for a lez!
Karma.
However, this latest dumping of her housewife definitely makes me think she's a cunt.
Ugly, too.
You couldn't pay me to mine that canyon.
_________________________________
"I can resist everything but temptation."
Submitted by boston61 on Sun, 05/23/2010 - 9:29pm.
I've never liked Melissa. I never really knew why. Now I do. She is an a##hole.
_____________________________
They should silkscreen "Yes, I Am" on the backs of panties and boxers.
_________________________________
"I can resist everything but temptation."
Tammy Lynn should put that to music. It's better than any of the shit that Melissa Etheridge wrote.
Why is anyone surprised? She has a wandering eye just like any of the other rock stars who for some unknown inexplicable reason get the punani.
I've never liked Melissa. I never really knew why. Now I do. She is an a##hole.
That cunt Ethridge had to go "lead the crusade" for the LGBT community by inviting that fat snake oil salesman Rick Warren over to her home to show him what a great little stable family she has.
Looks real great now, doesn't it - what a stupid bitch. It takes the fight for gay marriage 10 steps backwards.
Next time Melissa -- JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND BUTT OUT.
that is sad, i feel sorry for Tammy. She had a budding career until Melissa. what a bitch
Sad. So, sure, we're only hearing Tammy's poetic version of the story, but I've read that Melissa is pretty dang egotistical and has a hard time keepin' it in her pants. So, for now, I'm Team Tammy. Unless of course Tammy threatens to sue for $750 million. In which case, I'm just Team Toilet Training Twins.
@Tigerlily-Dayum! That is one helluva story!
I wonder how Big Dyke responded once she found out Lil' had a restraining order against her? I bet it did not go down well.
That was better writing than anything Melissa's ever done.
Sounds like Melissa is not a hands-on parent. And she probably cheated. What a cunt.
Nite whores...
and for the road, I gotta get wif TEAM TAMMY up in here. Missy be like some Bulldyke version of Hef. Does this crumbly ol' bull think she gonna trade in her baby mamma young piece for some 20 year old tight clam every few years??? AW HELL NAW! Tammy go out and getchu some HWAT young thang wif Missy money she about to fork over taya....Mmmmh'mmmm....Show da bitch.
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
What in the God's name is mess hell! ?! That sentence doesn't even make sense but you know what? Neither does MY love life!
-I'm so done...
"...sideswiped and left mangled
up to my eyes in toilet training toddlers
and sounds of a guitar wailing
letting me know
you would probably leave me soon
i know those heart-ache wails by now..."
____________________________________________
that's hardcore right there. you don't fuck w/ toileting toddlers, wailing guitars and stepping out simultaneously. *shudders* who do i send the requisite condolence fruit basket to? jeez.
edited: leaving out whole words now
=== "...Find...And Fulfill...Your Destiny..." ===
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sun, 05/23/2010 - 7:51pm.
********************************************
I know right???? Sure, I've gotten the requisite flowers, cards, poems... even joo'ree but I ain't never had me a LURVE LETTAH written in blood....That's how you know someone cares, when they put they threats and proclaimations of love down on blood and paper...Until then, they just playin....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LMFAO this is the kinda shit that I wake up laughing about in the middle of the night and makes my husband think no makes him know that Im crazy!
This is the thing, people change and they lose the love for someone. Do you a) stay for the sake of the children or b) leave. The only way she is a douche is if she dumped the kids on Tammy. If that is the case, then she's guilty as charged.
*************
Don't hate me cause I'm DLeautiful
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 05/23/2010 - 7:43pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sun, 05/23/2010 - 7:37pm.
***************************************
I know...RUDE!!!! But disturbing thought 1,001 (since I'm sure I'm good for at least 1,000 disturbing thoughts up in here)...We're ASSUMING it WAS her own blood...Ack! :-O
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LMFAO!!! True, your always good for a disturbing thought or 20 but I like the fact that other people share the same disturbing thoughts that run thru my brain!
Even more flattering she took the time to go cut something else and use its blood to write a letter! Chicks just dont appreciate romance these days! Sheesh!
********************************************
I know right???? Sure, I've gotten the requisite flowers, cards, poems... even joo'ree but I ain't never had me a LURVE LETTAH written in blood....That's how you know someone cares, when they put they threats and proclaimations of love down on blood and paper...Until then, they just playin....
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I do not like Melissa Etheridge. I used to like her music until the whole mess with Lou Diamond Phillip's wife. Then she dumped her (after children) and married this one only to dump her (after children). I do not care if she is a chick, to me she is a first class douche. No different than any loser douchey dude going through a mid-life crisis.
***********************************************
Lane, I have been going to this high school for 7 and a half years. I'm no dummy.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sun, 05/23/2010 - 7:37pm.
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I know...RUDE!!!! But disturbing thought 1,001 (since I'm sure I'm good for at least 1,000 disturbing thoughts up in here)...We're ASSUMING it WAS her own blood...Ack! :-O
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LMFAO!!! True, your always good for a disturbing thought or 20 but I like the fact that other people share the same disturbing thoughts that run thru my brain!
Even more flattering she took the time to go cut something else and use its blood to write a letter! Chicks just dont appreciate romance these days! Sheesh!
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 05/23/2010 - 7:22pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sun, 05/23/2010 - 6:52pm.
You mean she wasnt flattered by the blood? Bitch took time out of her day to cut herself and write a letter with blood and that wasnt enough? Jeez what else does a bitch want?
***************************************
I know...RUDE!!!! But disturbing thought 1,001 (since I'm sure I'm good for at least 1,000 disturbing thoughts up in here)...We're ASSUMING it WAS her own blood...Ack! :-O
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by salacious on Sun, 05/23/2010 - 7:14pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sun, 05/23/2010 - 6:52pm.
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LOL great story Tigger. I love how you Dlisted-ize it for us. It definitely sounds better to say that you've were "out whorin'" rather than just "hanging out with your bf".
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I figure "out whorin'" is a far more acceptable excuse for missing out on this fantabulous pugilistic pussy saga than the boring ass "spending time with my bf..."...
For reals, though, just glad Lil' came to her senses and realized Uber was straight up PSYCHO!!!!
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sun, 05/23/2010 - 6:52pm.
You mean she wasnt flattered by the blood? Bitch took time out of her day to cut herself and write a letter with blood and that wasnt enough? Jeez what else does a bitch want?
All she had to say was: 'Come back Melissa, we miss you, we love you and we want you back home.'
Heartbreak is a bitch. It's no secret Tammy!
*************
Don't hate me cause I'm DLeautiful
So essentially, Melissa is Jerry Lee Lewis with a vagina....?
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'll punch you in the head
If you don't change the baby's poo
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Sun, 05/23/2010 - 6:52pm.
----------------------------
LOL great story Tigger. I love how you Dlisted-ize it for us. It definitely sounds better to say that you've were "out whorin'" rather than just "hanging out with your bf".
___________________________________________
Cunt Plug: When you love something so much you must roll it up and shove it in your vagina. -Impertinent Vixen
Ouch.
**********
"Here comes the fiesta, bitch!"
Lesbians are SO dramatic!