Open Post: Hosted By Killer Asparagus
The small Japanese town of Bibai is currently being terrorized by the Jolly Green Giant's skinny dick which sprouted up through the pavement. The end is obviously near. Prepare yourself by grabbing a water gun filled with mayonnaise. Yes, I eat my asparagus with mayonnaise. Now is not the time for your judgments when we're about to be impaled by raw vegetables.
Splash News (via Telegraph) has the details of our impending doom:
Attack of the killer asparagus! Aggressive asparagus have been causing vegetable vandalism in a small Japanese town. Residents of Bibai on the northern Japanese island of Hokkaido have been stunned to see spears of asparagus shooting up through their streets.The area is renowned for its cultivation of green asparagus but the healthy foodstuff is turning into a headache for motorists as it erupts through asphalt on rural roads.
They say it's not Photoshopped, but I'm under the assumption that the entire magical land of Japan is Photoshopped, so I'm not sure what to believe. But if this is real-life, I hope this giant asparagus doesn't land in the crotch of the wrong slut. Us sluts will fuck anything that remotely resembles a peen, so it will be bad news if that happens. The fumes will suffocate us all!
In more important news, it's a slow day.
• 
input this URL:
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you can find many cheap and fashion stuff
(jor dan shoes)
(NBA NFL NHL MLB jersey)
( lv handbag)
(cha nel wallet)
(D&G sunglasses)
(ed har dy jacket)
(UGG boot)
WE ACCEPT PYAPAL or CREDIT CARD PA
Submitted by lutrele on Sat, 05/22/2010 - 7:47am.
Ummm...who were you arguing w/Speaky?
"motherfucker, I lick pits for a living" Sucky 12/14/2009
LawDog 03/15/2010 Leenie, LOL. I think we can all agree that I am the most important person ever
LawDog 04/15/2010 Who DOESN'T enjoy a gang bang? WTF
I love asparagus! I'd chop that sucker down and eat for 2 weeks.
hah. everytime i log in i misspel.
I will take into consideration your praise and try to watch it when its on.
Don't talk about dangerous moles!!! I was a tanned kid and have what i will call beauty spots
@WallyRaffle (wow, typing out yer nic is kindofa mindfuck;p)
Yeah - but that mole was prolly getting dangerous...or witchy!
And that's why I watch movies online. I can't commit either. If a movie is REALLY good I actually watch it. It's kinda sad how little I actually SEE. I watched lots of that one:)
♥ Threadkilla!
"I have a mouth and I'm not afraid to use it." ~Professor Whoreface
Every hoe ha dem stick a bush!~Jamaican Proverb:)
What's it gonna be? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQXDtPswocs
I miss the mole tho. it was so 90s. I was thinking about watching that. I might think about watching it when it makes showtime or movie one, unless theres something better on that day... i find it hard to commit to movies.
Submitted by WallyRaffle on Sat, 05/22/2010 - 6:57am.
Since this is an open post, may i adress the sex and the city 2 companion book promo on the right hand side of my screen? Someone put posterize on 2.
I miss the days of SJP
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SJP's other movie was very cute like that! You should check it out! Did You Hear About the Morgans. I think it's less than a year old.
It was nice to see her do something else, that's fersure.
♥ Threadkilla!
"I have a mouth and I'm not afraid to use it." ~Professor Whoreface
Every hoe ha dem stick a bush!~Jamaican Proverb:)
What's it gonna be? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQXDtPswocs
There is not enough money in the world to make me stay here.
Buy yourself a whore. There are plenty here. You should have no problems finding one.
Fucking dumbass.
ps. also considering open post...
Anyone who visits comments a la tmz.... Is Jim Carrey staying up all night posting crap or is it an impostor? Cos honestly, considering his twitterverse, I'm quite unsure.
Steve's not here man
All of your energy and time has gone into some imaginary world.... and you'd let me suffer for it. Yeah, I'd want that. NOT.
dude, you're fucked up.
Enjoy it.
Get mental help. Seriously.
I'll pass.
L.O.L.
No.
Since this is an open post, may i adress the sex and the city 2 companion book promo on the right hand side of my screen? Someone put posterize on 2.
I miss the days of SJP when she was in that movie with that kid from eerie indiana. man i had the biggest crush on that kid but its ok cos i was a kid too. That was like, one of the last decent kids movies. you know, one that didnt patronize them with celebrities' voice-overs.
TEAM ASPARAGUS HENTAI
You are so hot, let's get crazy, do some coke
-Pat O'Brien
Here's what I am going to do, I am going to read up on how to be a Buddhist, and I am gonna pray to Buddha that he is going to reincarnate me so when I kill myself I can come back and be cool as fuck like you.
Submitted by rojopeaches80 on Sat, 05/22/2010 - 2:37am
*clears throat*... *reels back to get optimum range*...
FFFUUUUUZZZZZZZZZBBBBAAALLLLSSS!!!.... come to think of it... where the hell are mine? haven't seen 'em in a bit... i'll have to see if they finally made the escape tunnel... hee!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
ESE you have all the right to ramble and do as you please , come on , what is dlisted without you!!!!
you were my first friend , here i would go crazy without you turning in a thread and all the girls going crazy yelling , ESEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
jeez no way , dlisted needs ESE forever , i swear !
we need an outlet to let go , just let it all go .
trust is better , yell , rant , do everything you need .
now night seems busy for tomorrow , LOL
FUZZZZZZZZZBALLS!!!!!!!!
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by Mr. Mercury on Thu, 05/06/2010 - 9:39pm.looks just like Jimmy Lee Taylor, the super fat kid who lived across the street from me back in the day. Jimmy Lee married an inbred hillbilly gal and tried on several occasions to electrocute his mother.
night, peachy!... thank you!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Submitted by rojopeaches80 on Sat, 05/22/2010 - 2:25am.
how am i?... i'm drinkin'!!... this is the way i'm gonna stay until tuesday... there may be some incoherent ramblings to come between now and then, but... really?.. when have i not been incoherent and rambling?LOL!
TEAM NO KILLING PUPPIES!!... unless peachy gets it under her fur to stop posting... then all bets are off!LOL!
-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
ESE
have a great , night i think of you and your father , i pray , i do .
everything is going to be okay , i am sure , you have a great karma and i wish you the best , always.
all the love in the universe and back , good night, muaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah !
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by Mr. Mercury on Thu, 05/06/2010 - 9:39pm.looks just like Jimmy Lee Taylor, the super fat kid who lived across the street from me back in the day. Jimmy Lee married an inbred hillbilly gal and tried on several occasions to electrocute his mother.
ESEEEEEEEEEEEE¡
nevermind my rant , i feel overwhelmed with all the info
but most important how are you?
how do you feel?
i know you wont kill puppies
i love you , i think of you all the time .
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by Mr. Mercury on Thu, 05/06/2010 - 9:39pm.looks just like Jimmy Lee Taylor, the super fat kid who lived across the street from me back in the day. Jimmy Lee married an inbred hillbilly gal and tried on several occasions to electrocute his mother.
Submitted by rojopeaches80 on Sat, 05/22/2010 - 2:10am.
"DLISTED IS MY FAVORITE BLOG ON EARTH BUT I AM STOP POSTING TILL THIS SHIT IS OVER"
oh no!!... you don't get out that easy!!... for every day that you strike from posting... i'm killing a puppy!!!... don't test me!!.. i'll do it, p-80!!.. heehee!
-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
*
Submitted by Jizzball on Sat, 05/22/2010 - 1:23am.
k
-------------------
72
... what?.. i prefer to throw out random numbers rather than random letters!
i guess that everybody's gone to snoozingville... i'll go read the comments on Lohan... that should give me giggles galore!
-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
k
nevermind chile, the shadow on the asparagus is going one way and the bush in the background's shadow is doing something else
im gonna need some video.. and the recipe... i have a few "plants" growing in the basement that needs a booster shot
COOLIO! Google Main Page is Pacman!
It's pacman's birthday yo! - how did MK miss that?!
♥ Threadkilla!
"I have a mouth and I'm not afraid to use it." ~Professor Whoreface
Every hoe ha dem stick a bush!~Jamaican Proverb:)
What's it gonna be? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQXDtPswocs
*raises hand*
"motherfucker, I lick pits for a living" Sucky 12/14/2009
LawDog 03/15/2010 Leenie, LOL. I think we can all agree that I am the most important person ever
LawDog 04/15/2010 Who DOESN'T enjoy a gang bang? WTF
Okay, who put the Viagra in my Miracle-Gro?
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
ahahahaha, bambam!
*swoons*
"motherfucker, I lick pits for a living" Sucky 12/14/2009
LawDog 03/15/2010 Leenie, LOL. I think we can all agree that I am the most important person ever
LawDog 04/15/2010 Who DOESN'T enjoy a gang bang? WTF
Hey leenie.
Dey is harrrrrd of course. And I beens werkin on mah abs. I got that spray on stuff u can use to make it look like yer abs be ripplin. U heard of the Situation? Well mah abs are the Simulation.
*displays fake abs with the model hand sweep*
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Too late in life I've discovered the formula; Make a fortune, get married, have kids, get divorced, take care of the kids, stay single til you die.
Hey, bambam! How the nipplez is?
"motherfucker, I lick pits for a living" Sucky 12/14/2009
LawDog 03/15/2010 Leenie, LOL. I think we can all agree that I am the most important person ever
LawDog 04/15/2010 Who DOESN'T enjoy a gang bang? WTF
I'm sorta falling in love with this asparagus over time, achally. I wonder why that is. *shakes fist* Those Japanese!
♥ Threadkilla!
"I have a mouth and I'm not afraid to use it." ~Professor Whoreface
Every hoe ha dem stick a bush!~Jamaican Proverb:)
What's it gonna be? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQXDtPswocs
I love beets. Evenin chirruns. Anyone ever juice beets? Makes the poop red, u'll think yer crappin blood. Ew.
*********
Too late in life I've discovered the formula; Make a fortune, get married, have kids, get divorced, take care of the kids, stay single til you die.
Submitted by beakers bitch on Fri, 05/21/2010 - 9:22pm.
Angel_i, I love how those trailers of her life will just pop up in the Holiday, lol.
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Ha! Totally. And I'm watching it really randomly too. But it brings to mind how hot she's been, for a long time, to do action films. I wonder if that's how she shot herself in the foot to begin with - holding out for it.
♥ Threadkilla!
"I have a mouth and I'm not afraid to use it." ~Professor Whoreface
Every hoe ha dem stick a bush!~Jamaican Proverb:)
What's it gonna be? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQXDtPswocs
Submitted by caprica six on Fri, 05/21/2010 - 9:17pm.
"she's actually speaking english, just in an angry asian way". sad truth. oh gawd, good times.
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LOL! I always used to be asking my friend: Are you in trouble? She'd be like: What? No! She told me to have some cake before we go. LOL! Stuff like that.
♥ Threadkilla!
"I have a mouth and I'm not afraid to use it." ~Professor Whoreface
Every hoe ha dem stick a bush!~Jamaican Proverb:)
What's it gonna be? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQXDtPswocs
Angel_i, I love how those trailers of her life will just pop up in the Holiday, lol.
@LD
i hate asparagross too. yet i like beets.
how've you been? i've been on here really sporadically in the last two weeks, thus, don't know what's going on lately. everybody's been good w/ updating me n stuff. how's your world?
=== "...Find...And Fulfill...Your Destiny..." ===
@angel
thx. will check out Holiday from 2006. shame, lohan's got decent talent, but, unless she pulls a mickey rourke, she's doomed.
my mom is asian and everything she says sounds angry for funny-ass-f-ing real! (dads venezuelan) growing up, my mom would say something like "get your bookback" (in English now) when she picked us up from school and the other kids who overheard her would say to me, "you understand her?" and i'd be like, "she's actually speaking english, just in an angry asian way". sad truth. oh gawd, good times.
=== "...Find...And Fulfill...Your Destiny..." ===
Ok - one more stupid story.
http://www.novamov.com/video/4be919a25fa27
This is where that movie is. There's an ad on there where you can click on the girls tits and ass (and arms?) to make them bigger so she's the "Perfect Girl" but all I can ever think is how, FIRST, I'd really like to remove that five-o'clock shadow.
♥ Threadkilla!
"I have a mouth and I'm not afraid to use it." ~Professor Whoreface
Every hoe ha dem stick a bush!~Jamaican Proverb:)
What's it gonna be? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQXDtPswocs
Submitted by LawDog on Fri, 05/21/2010 - 9:04pm.
and one time at band camp I put my flute in my pussy
ONE TIME??????? How about "LOTS OF TIMES"
Let's be honest
"motherfucker, I lick pits for a living" Sucky 12/14/2009
LawDog 03/15/2010 Leenie, LOL. I think we can all agree that I am the most important person ever
LawDog 04/15/2010 Who DOESN'T enjoy a gang bang? WTF
CAPRICA! OVAH HEAH!
So anyway - its that movie: Holiday from 2006.
I'm half watching it right now and all of the sudden it cut into this trailer for a movie with LiLo and James Franco...all espionage and action shit....but it's actually a trailer that Cameron Diaz (in character) is editing. Ha! You could tell LiLo put her back into it tho - it wasn't half-bad.
And I dragged this over here too cuz I've been laughing the last few days as I realized the new guy who owns the corner store: Straight up Korean with slightly more English than the last guy....well, they drive me crazy, him and his wife cuz when you walk in they practically YELL Hello at you (it's meant to be pleasant but it's really not) ANYHOLLER, he doesn't say "hello". He says "Holla". And I started laughing cuz I noticed caught it from him...I've been sayin' it too;p
Holla!
♥ Threadkilla!
"I have a mouth and I'm not afraid to use it." ~Professor Whoreface
Every hoe ha dem stick a bush!~Jamaican Proverb:)
What's it gonna be? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQXDtPswocs
Hey cappy, just ramblin on to myself about evil vegetables. How are you
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I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. Dr. Suess
*ponders if lawdog is ignoring me? my world is shattered*
i shouted out w/ hearts, but it remains unrequited.
*shuffles off w/ the sads but acceptance*
=== "...Find...And Fulfill...Your Destiny..." ===
and one time at band camp I put my flute in my pussy
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I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. Dr. Suess
Hey, LD!!!!!!!!!! Love me some asparagus! NOM NOM NOM!
"motherfucker, I lick pits for a living" Sucky 12/14/2009
LawDog 03/15/2010 Leenie, LOL. I think we can all agree that I am the most important person ever
LawDog 04/15/2010 Who DOESN'T enjoy a gang bang? WTF
I like edame too. They have estrogen in them, so if you eat too many, you get emo
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I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. Dr. Suess
I like corn
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I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. Dr. Suess