Thursday, May 6th 2010
What In The Name Of Noah Cyrus Is That Child Wearing?!
Here's The Real Housewives of New Jersey's Teresa showing off her 8-month-old daughter Audriana in the pages of InTouch Weekly. We all know that Teresa is tackier than spitting after giving a blow job in a back alley, but this is not the look any way you cut it.
Audriana should not be dressed up like a chorus girl in the Moulin Rouge or like Miss Kitty on holiday. If she got up, slipped on a cigarette tray and started shouting "CIGARS! CIGARETTES," I wouldn't even blink twice. That is the opposite of right.
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I don't know what those clothes are, but I know what they look like. They look just like that Lipstik brand of kids clothes, or one of their clones. Think high-end kiddy boutique, most of it tackier than a box of pushpins, and expensive as hell. The only people who buy it are the ones stupid enough to think that just because most kids don't wear it and couldn't afford it even if, by some latent Bozo the Clown fetish they actually wanted to, that it is high fashion.
What you see is what you get. It ain't cheap. It ain't free, but it's undeniably me.
y'all leave that baby alone! once she gets a tan, she'll be fine!!!
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And the thing that you're hearing is only the sound
Of the low spark of high-heeled boys
Speaking of Moulin Rouge, doesn't that baby look just like Jim Broadbent?
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"Half of all marriages end in divorce. That's over 75%. And the other 25% end in drunk driving deaths."
I lurve how cavezilla's part goes more than halfway down her forehead.
Audriana will be 10 before she could spell her terrible name right. Her mother has poor taste in baby/adult clothes. Glad I don't watch that show.
Submitted by islandgirl on Thu, 05/06/2010 - 6:51pm.
Submitted by Deb on Thu, 05/06/2010 - 6:48pm.
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Well then, you owe me a Dirt Coke. :)
Edit: Hahaha, I meant Diet!
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Oh, no, IG. You are getting a Dirt Coke. ;)
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
"Miss Kitty on holiday" I am dying you are so fucking funny!
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If you can't run with the dogs, don't piss with the puppies
I curse that kid to have the same fate as Theresa's arch rival Danielle........some day she'll be treated just like Theresa treats Danielle. hahhahhhahaaa.
http://www.aolnews.com/science/article/neanderthals-and-humans-interbred...
Scientific PROOF that modern Cave Babies DO exist!
"Help make the world a better place. Slap a stupid person today."
Why is a gorilla holding a baby?
I bet some where in crazy world Suri Cruise is green w/ envy she did not get to wear heels that young.
MK Radaronline has poser extraordinaire Phoebe with her adorable Henry posing..(what else)...can't believe you don't have it posted here????
I see she's trying to cover her hairline situation. This is exactly how I would expect this uber tacky, tasteless, Cro-Magnon skeezer to dress her baby.
Pedo bear approved baby hooker heels, check. Shrunken Jersey bimbo prom dress, check.
When will these Housewrecks learn the joke is on them??
Ok, enough pontificating, I need some liquor.
-LOVE ANDERSON
that is the stupidest f-ing outfit idea in the f-ing world. nevermind the crazy colors up in the bodice area NOT FUCKING MATCHING the brainless toddler heels. at least goddang match n shit! what's wrong w/ this tramp?
the saddest thing is that the 8 month old is smiling it up like its a mini version of her crazy breeder mom. that baby is going to be a twin of her mom. all whom are unfortunate to be around that child when it becomes a tween are fucked.
=== "...Find...And Fulfill...Your Destiny..." ===
That kid's actually a bit creepy looking. The face looks too mature for it's size. It almost looks like a young dwarf/little person/whatever.
What in the SuriCruise hell??? I mean, does that baby have heels on?!?!
Auntie Mame on Thu, 05/06/2010 - 6:46pm.
Geico could save a FORTUNE in make-up by hiring Teresa and her Neanderthal brood.
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Surprised geico has not used cave babies yet.
Submitted by Deb on Thu, 05/06/2010 - 6:48pm.
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Well then, you owe me a Dirt Coke. :)
Edit: Hahaha, I meant Diet!
Look at that tacky, too short table runner and the dishes and stemware that look like they came from the Mikasa outlet. Oof.
Submitted by islandgirl on Thu, 05/06/2010 - 6:36pm.
Awww, poor Teresa. The only thing lower than her hairline is her IQ.
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Ha! IG, I posted, then just looked at yours. I guess that's a semi-jinx!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Geico could save a FORTUNE in make-up by hiring Teresa and her Neanderthal brood.
"Help make the world a better place. Slap a stupid person today."
I'm still laughing at "geico cave babies".
laughing.
Well, the poor little girl is doomed. And the last time I saw a hairline that low on a female it was on Zeera from "Planet of the Apes".
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
TGu needs to het that kid In a tanning bed STAT
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►I hate you, Darlton. I hate your freaking sadistic guts◄
Submitted by Emeriesan on Thu, 05/06/2010 - 5:50pm.
Ew! I think these stilettoes for baby girls are called "Heelarious"
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Which is a great name for something that's not even slightly funny.
Ok - I'll be fair. It's funny for about 5 minutes and you snap your picture and get on with your life.
♥ Threadkilla!
BRING BACK THE BOOT MOVES!~:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Boot%20Moves
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fv3AvJtWuUA
Ha ha provy I really don't know anything about it
*looks over shoulder*
I agree with you on the construction thing tho
those are the guys with money, fuck lawyers
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►I hate you, Darlton. I hate your freaking sadistic guts◄
Hey the kids only trying to prep her whore famed out life, she's auditioning for Jersey Shore 2027. She has to pile on the glitz cause they are not good looking children.
Awww, poor Teresa. The only thing lower than her hairline is her IQ.
Poor kid......she's a horrible person and the little girl already looks like a middle aged man in a hooker dress, what hope does she have?
"We all know that Teresa is tackier than spitting after giving a blow job in a back alley"
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My new sig line....FLMMFAO!
**I ALT 12 you!**
Submitted by loozer on Thu, 03/04/2010 - 9:05pm.
UrMomma!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyngFurWy14
Richard Lawson renamed Teresa's kids: Fendi, Berlusconi, and PrinceSpaghettiDay
Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 05/06/2010 - 6:25pm.
Cakey I'm with you
He's La Familia
theres no such thing
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"Golf fans are the biggest fucking idiots in the world"- Scott Ferrall
babybunny on Thu, 05/06/2010 - 6:00pm.
..she is so fake and unfortunate looking and her kids...they look like geico cave babies for real...
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Heeeheeheeeee, mad at myself for laughing out loud.
I'm of Italian descent and that shit embarrasses me. What kind of stupid putanna puts her 8 month old in heels? Stupid ass. She is definitely GuidoRican (cross between Italian Puerto Rican).
Sorry if that offends anyone. Hell, it offends me.
Submitted by lifeislikecake on Thu, 05/06/2010 - 6:22pm.
snowy, i hate to stereotype, but that juicy husband of hers is in the mob right?! I mean, who the fuck pays CASH MONEY for errthang? that bitch rolled up to the furniture store and paid for all her tacky ass furniture with a giant wad of cash
I have a couple of friends that own construction/landscaping companies and they do. My cousins boyfriend also owns one and she's his accountant, does the companies taxes and tells me about multiple 7 digit accounts. Theres a lot of tax write-offs when you own the company credit card ; )
Construction in the tri-state area is where its at....stupid college : (
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"Golf fans are the biggest fucking idiots in the world"- Scott Ferrall
I can't believe she wants those ugly little cavemen to be child models and actresses
My nieces were all beautiful little kids and my sisters have been approached about it many times but they have this thing against whoring out their kids for money and "fame"
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►I hate you, Darlton. I hate your freaking sadistic guts◄
not surprised AT ALL
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I like living this way. I like loving this way.
Cakey I'm with you
He's La Familia
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►I hate you, Darlton. I hate your freaking sadistic guts◄
At least she's covering up that one-head of hers.
This bitch throws up flowers and lace all over her kid all the time...so the heels are no surprise.
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We smoke while we flip the bird.
This decor looks EXACTLY like my in-laws' house. Hot tacky nouveau riche mess.
That woman has an uglier face than Fergie.
snowy, i hate to stereotype, but that juicy husband of hers is in the mob right?! I mean, who the fuck pays CASH MONEY for errthang? that bitch rolled up to the furniture store and paid for all her tacky ass furniture with a giant wad of cash
i own a little girl, so i know a little about baby girl clothes and i would guess that baby's outfit is handmade. it looks tacky as hell, but believe you me, it costs at least $150. word.
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I was born with glitta on my face
My baby clothes made of leather and lace
Submitted by YourClothesAreDead on Thu, 05/06/2010 - 6:12pm.
I tried to look at Gary Busey's baby, I tried to look at Teresa's baby, but I didn't manage to focus solely on the babies, and now my mind is plagued by nightmarish visions of HP Lovecraft-type hybrid monstrosities with low-foreheads and giant teeth.
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Don't forget tentacles...all H.P.'s monstrosities have them. Multiple ones!
"What's your motto?" "Kill everyone NOW"
bunny luckily I read that their house is in forclosure and I forget why it was her juicy husband was arrested
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►I hate you, Darlton. I hate your freaking sadistic guts◄
I tried to look at Gary Busey's baby, I tried to look at Teresa's baby, but I didn't manage to focus solely on the babies, and now my mind is plagued by nightmarish visions of HP Lovecraft-type hybrid monstrosities with low-foreheads and giant teeth.
I can't keep track of these Housewives bimbos. Is this the one with no forehead? I seriously can't watch this show. The only one that has my stamp of approval is the ATL Housewives.
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Don't hate me cause I'm DLeautiful
While they were Photoshopping, they could not add in a forehead?
Weird things...like CUMIN?
*thonk* How idiotically stupid are people these days?
ugh she is awful
I can't stomach RHONJ this season