Lance Armstrong Is Going To Be A Father For The Fifth Time
Lance Armstrong announced on his Twitter page yesterday that his girlfriend Anna Hansen is knocked up with his fifth child. This will be Lance's second kid with Anna. They have a 10-month-old son together. Lance has also has twin 8-year-old girls and an 11-year-old boy with his ex-wife. Somewhere in the world, Sheryl Crow just kicked a puppy in his nutsack.
Lance is one of those hos who has a Twitter page for their unborn baby. Anna and Lance's fetus is Twittering under the name @Cincoarmstrong. I'm trying to find this cute, but I just can't. Here's Fetus Armstrong's first Tweets:
I got 2 arms, 2 legs, a nickname, and i'm 2 inches long. See y'all in October..
9:19 AM Apr 20th via web
I'm now the size of a lemon, 3.5 inches long, and weigh 1.5 ounces. And oh yeah, I'm on Twitter.
2:41 PM Apr 25th via web
Yeah, that is definitely not cute.
And Lance's ball deserves the honor of being named Testicle of the Year. That bitch is working harder than a call girl during the Republican National Convention. Go, nut, go!