Good News For Zombie Chasers! Larry King Is Single Again!
If you're a lovely lady who gets a special twitch down below when a man's zombie peen decorates your decolletage with a moth ball necklace, then today is your lucky day! TMZ reports that 535-year-old Larry King is back on the market after filing for divorce from his seventh wife Shawn Southwick.
In the divorce papers, Larry blames "irreconcilable differences" as the reason why his 13-year marriage croaked into an open pit. Shawn probably couldn't stand it when Larry came home early in the morning smelling like virgin's blood and forest soot. And it probably killed her buzz every time his peen broke off inside her vag. I mean, you want to be broke off, but not like that.
Larry King is asking for joint custody. Shawn filed her own papers asking for primary custody of their two kids. Shawn also wants child and spousal support from Larry.
But seriously, now that Larry King is entering the dating world again, somebody should really tell him that he can't club a lovely lady over the head and drag her back to his cave like in the old days. He has to buy her a cocktail first.
UPDATE: A source tells TMZ that Larry and Shawn had themselves a huge fight this morning, which led to both of them filing for divorce. Apparently, Shawn thinks Larry passed his peen to one of her close relatives! DAMN! The old geezer's still got it. And by it, I mean a never-ending supply of Viagra. Do you think Larry keeps his suspenders on when he gets down to it?
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So according to Wikipedia, her government name is Shawn Engemann and she went to Brigham Young Univ and she's 50. I think she looks terrible for 50 - all that plastic surgery and she looks like a 75 year-old trying to look 50.
Apparently there's no prenup, the implied reason being that Larry wouldn't've been able to land such a hot piece if he insisted on a prenup.
Rich people are effin craaaazy, man.
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'If you're a lovely lady who gets a special twitch down below when a man's zombie peen decorates your decolletage with a moth ball necklace...'
(Spits coffee all over keyboard)
That's beautiful!!! It's flat out straight evil but evil made beautiful with the visions that come to mind.
I'm not really sure where to start with that picture. LOL about the mothball necklace too.
Sweet Jesus what an ugly couple. How old is she 435 with a few year old parts?
Did he finally get caught with her sister? That took a LONG time! LMFAO @ moth ball necklace!!!!
Clearly she has the same plastic surgeon as Mrs Hulk. He needs to retire.
Edit - Mrs Gene Symonds - no difference eh.
I've actually met her and she is such a sweet lady. Most of the time when you meet someone moderately famous they are pretty aloof, but she was unbelievably sweet. We were both pregnant at the same time and having morning sickness, but she was very positive and managed to be gracious and nice while feeling terrible. I'm sorry that their marriage is breaking up.
she should of just left a window open
She looks like Florence Henderson.
Listen Michael, it's 6:30 a.m. here, I'm having my coffee and the last thing I needed was to visualize a zombie in suspenders!!! I need an antidote for this poisonous thought, I think I'll have to google "ryan gosling nude"...
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Good
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Submitted by Tigerlilly on Wed, 04/14/2010 - 6:56pm.
Aww, hell, Tigerlilly, that shit was hilarious! I'll have that picture in my head, if I ever get the chance again to use it....
If she was really smart she would have doctored up a drink for him one night and really hit a payday... hasn't she watched any old movies? You don't divorce an old fool like this, you get the whole thing! I should give her Courtenay L.'s #... she knows how to get rid of a husband who's done with you.
I wonder if Larry Kings balls are down to his knees, like this dude, Cisco Adler. hmmmm yummy.....
http://www.egotastic.com/image-nsfw?path=0702/cisco-adler-naked.jpg&info...
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→←...When you come to a fork in the road, take it...◘•♣♣ Yogi Berra →←
post x 2
Submitted by sushi on Wed, 04/14/2010 - 6:59pm.
If you are married to that guy and he's fucking your sister, aren't you happy about that? If I married for bank to an old disgusting fuckpig like him, I'd want my sister wearing out his viagara peen.
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I'm glad I'm not your sister!
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it's Snappy Hour
He NEEDS to keep his suspenders on to get UP to it!
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"I can resist everything but temptation."
Skeevy old fossil & the droopy-breasted gold-digger splitting up? Say it isn't so! File this under - who gives a fiddler's fuck???
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→←...When you come to a fork in the road, take it...◘•♣♣ Yogi Berra →←
Shes been a pill head forever, heard she went to rehab, Id need painkillers too, to fuck him.
**Time flies when you're a drunken whore.** Michael K
they both look like zombies...the one on the right is frozen in time and looks like a cardboard cut-out that Larry is holding.
i just hope a bunch of whores don't come forward now claiming they were sucking on Larry's mummy peen and dusty cum shots.
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Chupa cabrón!
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A big fight? What type of big fight? That she was sick and tired of ironing his suspenders, that he was sick and tired of buying her diamond trinkets and being polite in her presence, that maybe Larry’s loins were now indebted to a new much younger version of Shawn, as Larry is obviously the preferred specimen for under 33 year olds.
http://scallywagandvagabond.com/2010/04/will-hollywood-survive-with-the-...
They look alike. Weird.
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FIST PUMP!!
If you are married to that guy and he's fucking your sister, aren't you happy about that? If I married for bank to an old disgusting fuckpig like him, I'd want my sister wearing out his viagara peen.
Gross.
.
.
Is it just me or is picturing NASTY SWEATY MONKEY SEX with Larry King 100% reliable birth control...Try it tonight whores....I'm pretty sure I'm right....Ain't a pot of gold big enough...Unless I'm unconcious...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Whew! Thank goodness my bulk wholesale shipment of lube was delivered on time. We're gonna need it for Larry's eyes so he can shed a tear.
"If you're a lovely lady who gets a special twitch down below when a man's zombie peen decorates your decolletage with a moth ball necklace, then today is your lucky day!"
FUCKING EW, MK!!!!!!
"I mean, you want to be broke off, but not like that."
BWAHAHAHAHA!
Say, anybody else getting a Florence Henderson vibe from the wife?
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it's Snappy Hour
@madam ex:
Double dick ick....Then again, Larry collects a fat ass paycheck and the current wife and kids are the only ones collecting a piece off of that out of his many brides and offspring. I guess the sister-in-law decided she could stand him enough to get rewarded with 30K shopping sprees every couple of months.
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Coming soon to darken a sky near you.
I think Larry has special fucky time suspenders that will hold up his pruny peen.
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If Dracula can't see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?
There was a blind item a while ago about a decrepit old news celebrity who was fucking his sister-in-law.
I hope this pic is chosen for a "Caption This".
madam ex: oh it's the money!
I'd fuck him for a 160k car too, LOL
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Oh Im right with ya, but I dont want a 160K car, I just want the green Benjamins. I will buy my own car, Im happy with a 50K car. I hope she milks him good though, she will it's Calif. plus she's got two youngins. And if they had a pre-nup, I hope they had a clause about cheating in it. Cause he fucked up big time. He is loaded though. So the sister fucked him for a lump sum too then, huh?
Loving the LuLu's beige suede platform pumps>>>>>> Why are they so cheap? I wonder if they fall apart after like 2 wears.
Only the Campbells are a bit expensive, I wanted these soooo sooo sooooo bad, but they dont have my fucking size, alot of shoes dont have all the sizes, that site is wierd, but they have cute shoes.
http://www.lulus.com/products/jeffrey-campbell-tick-black-and-tacked-pla...
Remember the stories a while back about him having really bad gas? So bad that there was a fan under his desk so he didn't stink out his quests? I can't get that picture out of my head. And then to try and think sexy times with this ancient old prune? Hell to the naw!!!
Submitted by Little China Doll on Wed, 04/14/2010 - 4:20pm.
I do not get how you could have sex with him.
*shudder*
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She just closed her eyes and daydreamed about that huge bank account. A bank account large enough will make even Quasimodo look like Prince Charming to your average gold digger.
Just another affirmation that MABTW. Dick Masterson makes more and more sense everyday.
Skeletor in about 5 years. *Shudder*
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 04/14/2010 - 4:20pm.
I saw them on TMZ recently, all she wanted to do was butt in and promote her album, you could tell he was over that shit
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Album?! Oh Nooooooooooooooooooooo
Medusa is a snake-headed beauty!
*coughs* golddigger *coughs*
www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous
madam ex: oh it's the money!
I'd fuck him for a 160k car too, LOL
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
"Pray for us Oranges" CHIRIO
Now I ain't saying she's a gold digger, but she's not messing with no broke Zombies.
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"The Count on Sesame Street is scarier and more captivating than those preening whack vamps from Twilight." DListed user Master Blaster 6/09/09 (So true!)
Follow me on Twitter @t_rex_arms
@ Snowy thanks for finding that, that bitch isnt so bad either, damn Larry, maybe he eats Cialis like 3 at a time and has a Mandingo cock. What could they want from him, if its not the money?? Imagine what he looks like nude? Barf, spit, heave, vomits and then re vomits.
OK Larry enough is enough, seriously! Who wants to bet there's another wedding in his future? I know he's filthy rich, but 7 wives and children to boot...better watch that retirement savings Larry.
Larry can interview me any day! lol! I bet he likes a woman to slap his chest with his own suspenders!!! fuckinggggg caliente!!
P.S: call me Larry!
Coma Caca!
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I guess this explains why he hasn't retired yet. He still uses his show and clout to get pussy. BARF.
His show is terrible. His non sequitur questions he asks are so bad, its surreal.
There's a petrified wood joke in there, but I am too busy today.
LOL, Chiri! Seriously, who would fuck him? Boobshell? Maybe the Perkins waitress*pulls out tampon*
motherfucker, I lick pits for a living Sucky 12/14/2009
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LawDog 03/15/2010 Leenie, LOL. I think we can all agree that I am the most important person ever
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Shannon adds, "I'm tired for taking the wrap for things. I did not have an affair with Larry. He's been like a father to me."
Shouldn't that be rap? TMZ?
and "tired of" maybe this is her written statement
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"This is MK. He started it" angel_i
"snowpiece is officially to be known as hopiece from here on out." TheBreakdown
"Pray for us Oranges" CHIRIO
LOLOL@you losers on this thread
LARRY MY # IS XXXX XXXX CALL ME!!
Coma Caca!
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TMZ is reporting that it's his sister in law, who looks pretty much like his wife - tall, blond, skinny and probably about the same age as her.
Sooo, is Larry gonna air a special on which he clumsily grills himself with nonsensical questions...then cuts himself off to go to commercial?