Monday, April 12th 2010
Ken Paves Is Turning Jessica Simpson Into A Clone of Himself
Jessica Simpson Tweeted a couple of photos yesterday of her wig orgy with Ken Paves during a flight. Jessica posted the picture above with the caption: "Carol Brady who? :)" CAROL BRADY?! Bitch wishes she looked like Barry Williams' favorite MILF to fap to.
Jessica looks more like a middle-aged Palm Springs swinger from the 70s who spends her days sipping vodka lemonade in her backyard while her Latin house boy spreads tanning oil all over her body. So basically, she looks like Ken Paves.
And here's another one:
Obviously, Jessica didn't take a pair of scissors to her mane. If she did, Papa Joe would be proudly walking the streets in a bikini made from Jessica's hair.
via USWeekly
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Jess looks great in the second wig, she should really consider going there with her hair. I don't think Ken Paves is a good influence on her coiffing!
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19 Cats and Counting!
Jessica actually looks fantastic in the bottom photo. She should really step out of the bimbo box for once...help her image a lot.
looks fucking hotter!!!
I love the 2nd pic! She looks great- a little like Sienna Miller maybe?
I actually really liked her new look. Well at least until she opens her mouth (and I remember she's still the same old dump blond).
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BTW-what's with these fucking annoying astroturfing spamming assholes!
I wish MK would block all these jerkoffs from posting
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Submitted by vidz on Mon, 04/12/2010 - 2:51pm.
She looks fanfuckingtastic in the second pic. THis is the best she's looked in years. I dont even think this is a wig.
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She rocks in that second pic! Naturally beautiful all over that hot body of hers. She don't need brains with that body and looks.
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YAWN!
She seems like a nice person. I have always liked her. And I don't like too many people. LOL
Is that the kate Gosslin hair cut?
Submitted by vidz on Mon, 04/12/2010 - 2:51pm.
She looks fanfuckingtastic in the second pic. THis is the best she's looked in years. I dont even think this is a wig.
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ITA.
She ain't the sharpest crayon in the box, but for some reason I kinda like her. Maybe a reaction to that jackass John Meyer, or Mayer, or Mayor, or whatever the fuck it is (not a fan).
"No bitch, God did not make you pretty enough, so clown yourself up so I will do you the honor of using and degrading you for a couple of months and then tell all your sex shit on TV.
I love that she's rockin the natural look. Make up is stupid and unnecessary. No man ever loved a woman more because she caked all that shit on her face (sorry Chola Girl). Women need to realize this. There was a time when I wouldn't even go to 7-11 without mascara. Insanity.
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There's nothing like a little black pussay
ohh i'd totally buy that second wig
@miss thang
yes she totally does have great skin. Unlike miss fox. OMG< I watched jennifer's body 2 days ago and noticed she had pretty bad acne scarring. I couldn't even get a panty boner from the "infamous" lesbo scene. All i could notice was how seyfried had such pretty, soft, soft skin by comparison.
But how does her skin look so flawless and even plasticky in red carpet photos?
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"I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way."
vidz, she's not TOTALLY sans fards, but I can see through the minimal fards and it's obvious she has purdy skin.
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I like living this way. I like loving this way.
She looks fanfuckingtastic in the second pic. THis is the best she's looked in years. I dont even think this is a wig.
and to all those idiots who keep saying she looks better sans fards like this: she's still FFFing wearing makeup.
Tinted moisturizer (atleast), mascara, lipstick, CONCEALER, eyeliner, blush etc Basically the works. But I agree she does look very "natural" and pretty.
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"I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way."
She's really good looking ,esp minus makeup, no matter what anyone thinks of her as a person. A 10 compared to Britters, GaGa (ok, anyone is a 10 in comparison) or that fug Posh Sprice (oops typo).
Jessie is a natural beauty, I have to say. And even prettier without makeup which is very odd!
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by madam ex on Mon, 04/12/2010 - 1:29pm.
the 2nd shot is much better, but from the front not flattering on her at all. Good for her its just a wig, but she will be a soccer mom (not the sexy Milfy kind either) soon enough.
I think it's two different wigs.
Colour is different, bangs are different - the second is kinda cute.
Mom hair, or not.
Shut up you ugly poo-faced git!
I am so glad to read that I am not the only one who has zero in common with other moms around me.
the 2nd shot is much better, but from the front not flattering on her at all. Good for her its just a wig, but she will be a soccer mom (not the sexy Milfy kind either) soon enough.
ETA: at whoever commented about Joey Heatherton, that bitch was the real deal, gorgeous, and so was Goldie back in the days of Laugh In.
LMFAO this is totally her for reals in 15 years!!!
I don'tknow, I think she looks pretty good with short hair.
Lane, I have been going to this high school for 7 years. I'm no dummy.
Submitted by Twat Muffin on Mon, 04/12/2010 - 11:50am.
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I loved it too! My folks used to let my brother and I stay up to watch it in our jammies. :)
Submitted by Anonymous101 on Mon, 04/12/2010 - 10:07am.
At first glance, I thought that was Kunt Gosselin, but then it realized it couldn't be b/c of the smile.
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OOOOOOOOOOOOh! Ouch! She looks a lot older in the 1st pic. I love the hair in the second pic. She looks so much better here than on that "completely natural" magazine cover she did.
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"Most of us walk away hating our exes in the heart, but still loving them in the genitals." -Michael K
IslandGirl -- OMG, I haven't seen a clip of Joey Heatherton since like the 70's. Thanks! "The Dean Martin Show" was my favorite show when I was a toddler.
She looks great and natural.
Way better than her 'made up' look.
She is far more normal (good,bad,silly,skinny,fat etc) than the majority of the plastic phonies look alikes in Hollywood.
Submitted by Hekki on Mon, 04/12/2010 - 11:04am.
I was on a playdate at the museum with a goody-two-shoes mom and a pompous windbag dad and they were talking about Catholic shit and they asked me something and I said "I'm an atheist" and I might as well have said "I'm a transsexual from Saturn". Ha.
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Hekki, that's hilarious. I'm trying to figure out how you have a conversation with a Mormon who says there's no evidence to support climate change. Talk about arbitrary standards of judgment.
Submitted by Crawford67 on Mon, 04/12/2010 - 11:03am.
Submitted by EvilShoe on Mon, 04/12/2010 - 10:52am.
Oh yeah, I bet there a lot of people on Dlisted that are amazingly smart! :)
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Side note: For the whores who friend me on Facebook under Eebil Shoe, tell me who the hell you are!! lol
Where's OP? I'll be back later. :)
Submitted by Husbands_and_Wives on Mon, 04/12/2010 - 10:43am.
One day Ken Paves will write a book about Jessica and the title will include something like "From her CLOSEST CONFIDANT KEN PAVES." He would then dish every stupid thing she has ever done or said in private and make a fortune. She is such an idiot.
Right? Well, considering Jess volunteers gems like farting in bed, not brushing her teeth, and waiting for her hair to stink before she washes it, her secrets must be really something! ;-)
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by EvilShoe on Mon, 04/12/2010 - 10:52am.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Mon, 04/12/2010 - 10:38am.
Angel, I know....it is weird. I am turning 40 and glad I don't look like a "Mom"....Mom jeans, van driving, diaper bag carrying woman. When DID that become so bad? :)
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I have ZERO in common with the other moms at my son's school. I tried to chat with one the other day, and nobody was home. We were talking about Science Fair Projects and the subject of space. She says "That space guy got voted off the dancing show" while I'm wondering if that "baby" exoplanet they discovered a few years ago is really a planet or a brown dwarf.
I smack talk on Dlisted but really, it's hard to find anyone around here to have a conversation with.
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Sounds familiar with all the parents where I live. I find it impossible to have a conversation where I live now. I think there are great people on dlisted, but the format and anonymity limit the depth of conversations.
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Mon, 04/12/2010 - 10:49am.
Yes! Justin Bieber makes an adorable lesbian!
I think she looks hot in the 2nd pic. First pic she looks like a goof.
I think she's so purdy and seems sweet. I am a fan.
*dons tin foil hat and yanks up J. Simp mom jeans*
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"Kanye west is the biggest piece of shit on earth. Quote me." ~ Pink
Not flattering. Makes her look like Jenna from Tough Love.
Jessica's hair is half her personality. The other half are her bewbs.
Carol Brady.
Oh, I see that while I was writing and subsequently deleting my manifesto on looking like a mom, others have posted about it.
When's OP? *looks at watch, taps foot*
EvilShoe: I know, I have the same problem. It's like, most of my mom friends from my kids' schools are boring. I've learned to blend and discuss "safe" topics, but I have to stifle my impulses to talk about sex and ask if people have ever seen a ghost or whether they'd rather fuck Bill Clinton or Barack Obama.
I was on a playdate at the museum with a goody-two-shoes mom and a pompous windbag dad and they were talking about Catholic shit and they asked me something and I said "I'm an atheist" and I might as well have said "I'm a transsexual from Saturn". Ha.
Submitted by EvilShoe on Mon, 04/12/2010 - 10:52am.
I smack talk on Dlisted but really, it's hard to find anyone around here to have a conversation with.
????????????????????????????????????????????????
I'm sure that there are many enlightened people here that use this site to blow off steam by talking smack about people. This is my entertainment after a hard day of work. I am always open for stimulating conversation!
@Hekki: Agreed. I'll see you over there:)
♥ Threadkilla!
People are always wondering what the smoke monster is gonna be but I know already..........a huge letdown.~Anthony Jeselnek
I like the 2nd photo too. Maybe because I also just got my hair whacked this weekend.
Submitted by angel_i: "And might I add - there is nothing wrong with looking like a mom. When did being a mom become the LAST thing that any woman wanted to be accused of? So bizarre."
I say, if you don't want to look like a mom, don't become one. Seriously.
Let's talk about this in OP...
I can't help but love this chick. For some reason, she comes across as a pretty "real" person these days and one that I would likely be friends with if I had the opportunity to get to know her. She reminds me of some of the people in my life I love best.
I love the second short hair wig photo! I think it looks great on her. Not every hollywood chick has to rock to the big, long, blond hair look.
she seems like a really nice girl, i don't know why ppl rag on her. plus i'm loving ken paves since i figured out who he is from the price of beauty, he's adorable :)
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Mon, 04/12/2010 - 10:38am.
Angel, I know....it is weird. I am turning 40 and glad I don't look like a "Mom"....Mom jeans, van driving, diaper bag carrying woman. When DID that become so bad? :)
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I have ZERO in common with the other moms at my son's school. I tried to chat with one the other day, and nobody was home. We were talking about Science Fair Projects and the subject of space. She says "That space guy got voted off the dancing show" while I'm wondering if that "baby" exoplanet they discovered a few years ago is really a planet or a brown dwarf.
I smack talk on Dlisted but really, it's hard to find anyone around here to have a conversation with.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Mon, 04/12/2010 - 10:38am.
Angel, I know....it is weird. I am turning 40 and glad I don't look like a "Mom"....Mom jeans, van driving, diaper bag carrying woman. When DID that become so bad? :)
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Hell, I'm a mom and I don't look like a "mom". But that's really natural to me. I have a very hard time looking like an "adult" as it is. But it's not from avoidance. What bothers me is women like Kate Gosslein who have that look DOWN. BORN with it - and then they try to erase it. That looks so silly.
I have to give props to Jessica tho....I was just thinking, in this mom hair, how similar her road has been to Britney's (minus the babies) and how much better she's come through it. She may be a gigantic fool but I think it's cool she just hangs out with her favourite gay and has a good time. Instead of sweating the fact that things are changing for her she's trying to run with it. That's pretty commendable.
♥ Threadkilla!
People are always wondering what the smoke monster is gonna be but I know already..........a huge letdown.~Anthony Jeselnek
aww she looks very cute!