We Can't All Be As Perfect As AC Slater
Mario Lopez won't pirouette from his house in the morning until every follicle is in its place, both of his dimples have been polished, and his pecs are perking up real pretty-like. A source tells Page Six that Mario is so obsessed with beauty that he even made his girlfriend, Courtney Mazza, fix her overall body situation before being photographed with her in public. Well, this is understandable seeing as though AC Slater is used to being around perfect goddesses like Jessie Spano.
The source explained, "Courtney was engaged to a guy in Queens before she met Mario, but once they got together she dropped everything to go to California and be with him. He encouraged her to work out with a trainer every day. She underwent a boob job and liposuction last spring. Once her body was perfect, he arranged for them to be photographed on a beach."
I bet you Mario is one of those crazy bitches who doesn't even want to think about his girlfriend going pee pee times, so he forces her to play the sounds of the rainforest while she's pissing so his ears won't hear it. That shit reminds me of the time I accidentally (okay, it wasn't an accident) farted in front of some dude I was dating for about a week. Dude acted like I just murdered a family of bald eagles! He told me to go to the bathroom and then asked me if I was raised by wolves. Yeah, farting wolves to be exact. And why would I need to go to the bathroom anyway? To wipe my ass post-fart? That's what underwear is for.
Anyway, Courtney is currently knocked up with their baby, so that's going to make things interesting. Mario will have a body waxer, make-up artist, b-hole bleacher and plastic surgeon on hand when Courtney gives birth. And that will be just for the baby!
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You know what Ricky Martin did when he wanted a babeh? He hired a Nice Lady, paid her well to be the surrogate, didn't care how she looked or if she got fat - only if she stayed healthy - and continued to date men all the while. I'd have a lot more respect for Mario if he were to do this. Why drag some poor beard into the equation and brow-beat her into looking a certain way when we all know he won't ever be satisfied until she grows a PEEN.
I hope she has enough sense to eat and have a healthy baby. If she is with Mario Lopez, there is no telling where her head is at. That guy is a tool. If it wasn't for him being hired as a host for stupid shows, he wouldn't be on TV. He cheated on Ali Landry-now that's stupid!
Yeah, he's totally gay and he's trying to trim his beard and make it look really good. That's all lol
What a coincidence! I wouldn't date him until the Plastic Surgery Fairy turned him into Mark-Paul Gosselaar. Yeah I probably spelled that all kinds of wrong. The Zack Morris NYPD Blue guy.
But seriously, what's wrong with the girlfriend? She's having a baby with this tool???? Hope it's not a girl, that kid will be like one of those beauty pageant kids before she can walk, talk or poop by herself.
Ugh, how did he get that Extra gig?
Medusa is a snake-headed beauty!
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His girlfriend should stay out of the sun or she will start to look like his mom. And her boobs look jacked up. She needs to dump his ass if he asked her to do anything other than be her natural self.
Not sexy to me. You just know he shaves and waxes everything. Gross. But he does have beautiful skin. He glows.
I give it a year............
Mario may be the most shallow dude on TV, and it's a shame, because without all that metosexual stuff I would think he's kinda hot. I don't care how many bitches he impregnates, I wouldn't be surprised to see him in a homo scandal, with him, of course, receiving.
As for you MK,
"And why would I need to go to the bathroom anyway? To wipe my ass post-fart? That's what underwear is for."
You nasty fucker. Ewww.
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There's nothing like a little black pussay
That Mario Lopez has no soul link was absolutely hilarious. Newsflash: It's not a real article! Cracked is a comedy site.
http://www.cracked.com/blog/extra-mario-lopez-has-no-soul
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He was like this in junior high and high school, so I'm not surprised that the narcissism has continued. Too bad no one told him his Mexi-Mullet from Saved By The Bell was not a good look.
Oh come on, he isn't gay. He is just very narcissistic. But obviously it's working. He hasn't aged one day in over ten years and he still looks smoking hot.
He is definitely a ball licker...and I hate men that wont let women be fucking women. Fixing her up? Give me a fucking break. And this whore must be so desperate for the spotlight and to be with him that she probably shivers as he speaks.
Any woman that is that insecure and listens to every mans request is a dumb cunt to me and a whore I wouldnt even want to know or ever talk to. Fucking dumb ass cunts. Grow yourself a pair of balls (maybe he'll lick em while you're at it) and stand up to the motherfucker!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hate when I go to someone's bathroom in their house (especially when it is right off of the living room or right next to where everyone is) and they don't have one of those fans that cover pee and fart noises. Inevitably, I always have one of those "surprise" farts when I am peeing in a bathroom with no fan. Then I have to come out and face the other people and act like I didn't just fart while I was peeing. Farting wolves indeed.
*cough* gay *cough* closet case *cough*
WTF?? What was that link from earlier on AC Slater not having a soul?
That is some American Psycho shit right there.
I tried really hard to care, but I have failed.
**I ALT 12 you!**
Submitted by loozer on Thu, 03/04/2010 - 9:05pm.
UrMomma!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyngFurWy14
Hmmm where.to.start?
Bitch is a flower!
Cant stand him! he's so f*** annoying. he's like that highschool kid who was a total bugger picker and then spent his time working out and greasing his self. take that however you want to.
Coma Caca!
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read the Mario Lopez has no soul link....it says it all....arrogant and as shallow as he looks...poor girl...she will be dumped as soon as she gets a baby bulge...he seems like that kind of a prick.
Team Zach all the way and as for farting I have been married for 10 years and with the hubs for 12 and I HATE when he farts in front of me! I never fart in front of him.
Maybe its because my parents use to do it when they where married and it was a loveless marriage from the start. I swore I would never do that shit maybe Im a lunatic who associates farting with loveless marriage? Who knows
I laughed by myself all outloudy at your comedic Comments on this one Michael...
Soooo funny.
Cheers!
I'll burn that bridge when I come to it....
Mario (if he ever came out) sounds like he'd be asking a man to wax and workout to GI-Joe proportions. He wants a showdog, not a lover? I'd hate be in such an all out wacko relationship.
At the very best, he's gay. She, on the other hand, is pathetic! this has LOSER written all over it for everyone involved.
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Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 01/27/2010 - 5:42pm.
This site should be fun only. The petty shit fucks up my buzz.
You don't want that. Or maybe you do, you sucio fuck! MK
He strikes me as one of those crazy people who shower 4 times a day.
Nuts, I tell you...
Mario is a male version of Heidi Mongag for me.
''I bet you Mario is one of those crazy bitches who doesn't even want to think about his girlfriend going pee pee times, so he forces her to play the sounds of the rainforest while she's pissing so his ears won't hear it. That shit reminds me of the time I accidentally (okay, it wasn't an accident) farted in front of some dude I was dating for about a week. Dude acted like I just murdered a family of bald eagles! He told me to go to the bathroom and then asked me if I was raised by wolves. Yeah, farting wolves to be exact. And why would I need to go to the bathroom anyway? To wipe my ass post-fart? That's what underwear is for.
Anyway, Courtney is currently knocked up with their baby, so that's going to make things interesting. Mario will have a body waxer, make-up artist, b-hole bleacher and plastic surgeon on hand when Courtney gives birth. And that will be just for the baby!''
:DDDDDDDDD I love you MK :)
That girl's self esteem must be through the roof *rolling eyes*
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"She underwent a boob job and liposuction last spring. Once her body was perfect, he arranged for them to be photographed on a beach."
OH YEAH, that's a healthy relationship right there! I hope all plastic surgeons die in a fire..except for one who will only help people with burn wounds & ex cancer patients etc.
B!i!i!iD~
For your health.
lol, the fart test, tried and true every time...
I just don't understand why these gay celebs won't just admit that they are, in fact, gay? I suppose they think the speculation over their gender preference keeps them in the spotlight, therefore, they are willing to play house with poor naive girls. Sadness.
There are so many things to say about this, I can't even...
He's GAY. And who does he think he is, Karl Lagerfeld? Getting all persnickety about his girlfriend's minute fat deposits? That is a red flag right there.
She's pathetic. If she didn't tell him to go fuck himself at the first suggestion that she needed improvement, she is a self-loathing idiot.
Gah!
Submitted by mike on Mon, 04/12/2010 - 10:01am.
I really hate to question a guy's sexuality (unless he's a known homophobe), but I just don't see how this dude's straight.
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I agree, mike....at the very least he is a metrosexual, like Ryan Gaycrest, ahaha!!
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Make mine a Sick Johnny too
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"This smacks of a big gay coverup!"
Oprah & Gayle & Tyler Perry
My friends are really good friends with Mario Lopez (they work with him--both are on "Extra", vacation together, parties, etc.) so I often see pictures of Mario, his gf, and my friends on facebook. I also can see all of his gf's pictures since we have a mutual friend. This girl was NEVER fat, EVER--very thin actually. I can't even imagine where they could have sucked any fat out of her through lipo. As far as the him encouraging her to workout, it's possible but she wasn't flabby before either. She was on Broadway so a lot of the pictures of her are in leotards or tight clothing and she's always been svelte.
The breast--yeah those clearly grew overnight. In all of her pictures with Mario she has the new breast so I can't pinpoint whether she had them put in really early on when they met or before. Anyway, that's the "scoop" if anyone actually cares.
I think the dude is working a two year plan for maximum exposure that he hopes will bump him up from covering other celebs bullshit to full-time acting gigs, etc. A wife, baby and then divorce offer a nice cover for the closet gay looking to improve his situation.
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Coming soon to darken a sky near you.
Just go back in the closet where you came from, dear.
Submitted by mike on Mon, 04/12/2010 - 10:01am.
I seriously thought he was ghey
motherfucker, I lick pits for a living Sucky 12/14/2009
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LawDog 03/15/2010 Leenie, LOL. I think we can all agree that I am the most important person ever
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He was married to that Doritos(?) gal for about six weeks. I stand by my statement he is probably on the DL and she probably found out. And where was I that I didn't hear about the rape charges?
Aw, baby friend is most likely a publicity baby.
Zack Morris was always the hot one anyway.
his tank top says it all
I agree with everyone who is saying he is in the closet. I get NO straight vibes from him at all!
Thanks for the link ESE, he's creepy!
He's always given me that "Sleeping with the Enemy" vibe.
I really hate to question a guy's sexuality (unless he's a known homophobe), but I just don't see how this dude's straight.
Submitted by Captain Howdy on Mon, 04/12/2010 - 9:44am.
Submitted by letinstar on Mon, 04/12/2010 - 9:41am.
mario's not the type to settle down with just one woman...he'll be on to some strange before this chick pops her load..
Woman?
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let me reword this...
mario's not the type to settle down with just one living creature...he'll be on to some strange before this chick pops her load..
much better...
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what you gonna do? tell mom and dad I put your dick sucking list on facebook?” – "i love facebook like you love cock..."
Never liked this guy. Not surprised at this. He's extremely boring.
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"Number 12 Looks Just Like You"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HaVo2xifmSw
What an arrogant ass. And she's a dumbshit for going along with it.
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"What he lacked in feet, he made up for in inches." --BK, on having sex with a midget
He'll marry her and stick around for 2-3 months after the baby is born because it guarantees him the chance for two tabby magazine covers in 12 months. It will also give him a bump as the guy who whipped his wife's post-baby body back in shape in less than 30 days which he can then market as an exercise DVD. He'll dump her but make sure he's pictured often as the doting dad, his fanbase will eat that shit up like fried butter.
Sometimes I feel like I missed my calling when it comes to marketing product to the masses.
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Coming soon to darken a sky near you.
He's a closeted 'mo if I ever saw one. I used to be married to a guy like that and it just about did my head in.
Then I dutch-ovened him and left the farting asshole.
Morning All^^^^I wish Slater would make me look like that!!
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"This smacks of a big gay coverup!"
Oprah & Gayle & Tyler Perry