Vanilla Gorilla Does Not Have A Sex Tape
Sandra Bullock has already come out and said that you need to look elsewhere for a Nazi and scat-filled fuck tape (hint: Mel Gibson's attic), because she never made one with Vanilla Gorilla.
Yesterday, Vanilla Gorilla released his own statement denying the existence of ANY fuck tape starring him. There was a rumor floating around the toilet that VG made nearly a dozen tapes with several of his side-hos. VG burps to People that it ain't so:
"The claims of sex tapes are untrue and completely fabricated."
Isn't fabricated a strange word? Obviously, it makes me think of fabric, which makes me think of Jo-Ann's, which makes me think of Butterick patterns, which makes me wonder if they ever made patterns for Nazi uniforms. VG would know. But I'm digressing again...
So there you go. NO SEX TAPES. Class is released. You can go back to not giving a dick.
• 
Hi! Is it weird that I am 24 and still a virgin?
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Submitted by Neverevenknewhim on Thu, 04/08/2010 - 2:36pm.
I forgot all about Butterick, thanks for the stroll down memory lane!
>>> I know, right?! I love MK - the things he comes up with! My next thought after that was S&H green stamps for some reason.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Thu, 04/08/2010 - 9:07am.
HAHHAHAHHA! No one brings the nostalgia like MK. I remember Simplicity patterns better:
>>>OH yeaahh and McCalls...and Vogue. Wow what with "Project Runway I don't think it's just nostalgia right? I mean, there must be a whole new wave of sewing enthusiasts, budding designers. I became a graphic designer, but I never did sew very well, but yes all my early easter dresses, and holloween costumes, my mother made. Little did I know then, when I wish I had those pre-fabbed costumes that other kids have, did i ever realize that my mom's costumes were actually superior. I should have worn them with more pride.
Submitted by Eileenie McMeanie on Thu, 04/08/2010 - 8:22am.
>>> LOL Leenie, love your avatar pic!! my son absolutely reviles her. I never seen him react to anybody with that much energy. what was that quote someone had of her some time ago? "Let's unleash the defense lawyers"
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Maybe Sandy was too smart to make a tape with this clown but I bet those nazi strippers were not.
I forgot all about Butterick, thanks for the stroll down memory lane!
There may be a tape of him and Bombshell lynching some Jews
FAT Fergie pic
http://bit.ly/9pkCoW
a friend of mine who has been in the biz for years said that Sandra got her big break for "Speed" via casting couch. She slept with many producers, so she is not such an angel.
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Monday, sad sad Monday
She's waiting for me, but I'm a long, long way from home
-Foreigner
You all may think I'm crazy for saying this, but I do not think she'll divorce him. He has something on her. May not be a sex tape. But something.
************
I like living this way. I like loving this way.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 04/08/2010 - 8:49am.
this is very disappointing, indeed. I NEED TO SEE SANDRA FULL ON HARDCORE!!!
of course, not with shit smeared on her lip as reported by whothefuckeverreportedit.
***
Hahaha, Jacky. Not this time.
Submitted by Pimpcessa on Thu, 04/08/2010 - 9:59am.
madam
Tomei is a wretched, insecure, not nice person so I don't see any adorable mouse in her, but that is a whole notha' story.
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What?? Say it aint so. I always adored her, what makes you say that about her, madam?
***
I met her many moons ago and thought she was really sweet and down to earth.
Submitted by mike on Thu, 04/08/2010 - 8:14am.
Perhaps not with Sandra, but sex tapes exist. Most guys have "compromising" vids and pics.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Oh, great.
*frantically calls ex-lovers*
I don't believe him. asshole.
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Monday, sad sad Monday
She's waiting for me, but I'm a long, long way from home
-Foreigner
Sorry, Mel. But don't lose hope just yet. I'm sure Bombsite Mcgee will be given a sexy-times video deal before it is over with.
He's lied about other things (Nazis, hos), but he's probably destroyed anything with Sandra because maybe there's still a shred of humanity in this ape or he doesn't want to get sued off his ass.
Sandra reminds me of a finch with that nose.
Tila should him so she could be called Tila Tequila Vanilla Gorilla.
Also ITA about Tomei as a mouse (it's crossed my mind too) and of course we ALL know that Tila looks like a mutant slut reject from "A Bug's Life", and that Sarah Jessica Parker loves nothing more than chomping on a bale of hay while getting her mane and tail braided.
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19 Cats and Counting!
Submitted by DonkeyPunched on Thu, 04/08/2010 - 8:42am.He does look like the type of trash that would tape himself fucking a ham.
And you'd better believe I'd watch that tape and pretend my ass was the ham.
I think antelope is more on target than deer.
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19 Cats and Counting!
madam
Tomei is a wretched, insecure, not nice person so I don't see any adorable mouse in her, but that is a whole notha' story.
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What?? Say it aint so. I always adored her, what makes you say that about her, madam?
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I'm your huckleberry...
Mad Catter ~ Sandra Bullock reminds me of an anteater. Could be the jet lag talkin'.
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"His faggy coffee shop poetry reading glasses will go over well in prison. I expect to see them on cumonglasses.com". ~ Dlister Provolone
Tila would make a good slutty Tweety Bird.
Tila Tequila is SO a cartoon ant! And Uma Thurman is so a camel! Ahhaha. Tomei is a wretched, insecure, not nice person so I don't see any adorable mouse in her, but that is a whole notha' story.
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FIST PUMP!!
Submitted by mike on Thu, 04/08/2010 - 9:31am.
Submitted by Munkeyhed on Thu, 04/08/2010 - 9:30am.
Submitted by madam s. on Thu, 04/08/2010 - 9:15am.
The Mad Catter,
You're so right, Sandra definitely looks like maybe some sort of antelope... I'm not sure which kind. And I say that as a compliment because I love it when you can see the animal a person looks like.
================================================
Me too! Everytime I see Marisa Tomei (for example), I thin k she'd be adorable as an animated mouse. Some people just have features like that~
Don't forget Tila Tequila - cartoon ant, totally.
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Uma Thurman-camel. That is all.
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"gobble a bowl of dicks" submitted by HOTNEY
Fabricated: To concoct in order to deceive.
For some reason, I believe him on this one.
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Ever see a man's stump? Guy's like, "Go on, man. I want you to know how it feels. Touch it. Touch my stump." Disgusting! So don't tell us that Bucky Haight wasn't shot, 'cause we were there. We touched his stump."
This must be the worst news of the day. I was really looking forward to seeing the Nazi banana.
*************
Don't hate me cause I'm DLeautiful
Submitted by Munkeyhed on Thu, 04/08/2010 - 9:30am.
Submitted by madam s. on Thu, 04/08/2010 - 9:15am.
The Mad Catter,
You're so right, Sandra definitely looks like maybe some sort of antelope... I'm not sure which kind. And I say that as a compliment because I love it when you can see the animal a person looks like.
================================================
Me too! Everytime I see Marisa Tomei (for example), I thin k she'd be adorable as an animated mouse. Some people just have features like that~
Don't forget Tila Tequila - cartoon ant, totally.
Submitted by madam s. on Thu, 04/08/2010 - 9:15am.
The Mad Catter,
You're so right, Sandra definitely looks like maybe some sort of antelope... I'm not sure which kind. And I say that as a compliment because I love it when you can see the animal a person looks like.
================================================
Me too! Everytime I see Marisa Tomei (for example), I thin k she'd be adorable as an animated mouse. Some people just have features like that~
Hey, can anyone tell me how to change the clock on here. It's an hour off and driving me bonkers... I already went to my profile page (used to be there I think) and can't find the way to change my time zone to be correct.
__________________________________________________________
I'm your huckleberry...
The Mad Catter,
You're so right, Sandra definitely looks like maybe some sort of antelope... I'm not sure which kind. And I say that as a compliment because I love it when you can see the animal a person looks like.
____________________
FIST PUMP!!
HAHHAHAHHA! No one brings the nostalgia like MK. I remember Simplicity patterns better:
http://s.ecrater.com/stores/38428/488a1c0f1bf3e_38428n.jpg
♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣
"You sir, have the charisma of a damp rag and the appearance of a low-grade bank clerk."
Only in the world of celebrities do we need a news report to tell us there's no news.
♥ Threadkilla!
Why I love Daniel Tosh:"That skateboard hit him right in the vagina!"
Phewww. No sightings of VG drawing doodoo swastikas on Sandra's face then. Good.
Ok we can all go home now. Dude is a slut, nothing more to see here.
Ugh, what animal does Sandra remind me of? I was thinking deer, but that's not it. Something more masculine.
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19 Cats and Counting!
That photo of Jesse standing next to Sandra with his nervous, suspicious, shit-eating grin is hilarious and appropriate.
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FIST PUMP!!
To quote Phil Collins.. I don't care anymore.
Lawyerspeak for a deal's been struck to burn the tapes.
America's fucking sweetheart is an SS She Wolf on the DL, I believe.
this is very disappointing, indeed. I NEED TO SEE SANDRA FULL ON HARDCORE!!!
of course, not with shit smeared on her lip as reported by whothefuckeverreportedit.
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
Yeah VG -- think of the children... I mean think of Ziggy -- and if you're scared that you're not packing and we'll make fun of you, well then you're right, but still -- it's worth a shot.
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"I truly don't like you as a person. Can't one human being not like another human being? Can't we all just not get along?"
Personally I think he might be telling the truth... why would he lie if it's something that's going to trickle out later and prolong this trouble? It would be the least shrewd statement to make if it were untrue. I mean, unless he's as stupid as John Edwards who dragged that crap out and lied and lied until the last possible moment.
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FIST PUMP!!
He does look like the type of trash that would tape himself fucking a ham. I don't buy it, those tapes are there somewhere.
Sandra... I still can get over how much she looks like a second cousin of mine.
I think he looks like he could have a pretty big dick actually.
Come on VG, it's all I can think about! Show us the goods, you redneck stud!
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Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 04/06/2010 - 10:19am.
mcnightmare, don't argue with ZiggyStardust. You will just get frustrated. Her mind doesn't work like the rest of ours.
Poor Sandra...talk about The Blind Side...
fuck she was Blind Sided by this Nazi General Manwhore & his Brigade of Female SS Streetwalkers
He doesn't know words like fabricated. That wasn't him speaking. Until I hear caveman speak about no tape.. tape bad.. poop bad.. nazi bad... I don't believe a word of it.
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"I truly don't like you as a person. Can't one human being not like another human being? Can't we all just not get along?"
BUTTERICK PATTERNS........LMAO.....
That reminds me of my gramma dragging me to sewing store and going thru drawer after drawer of pattern packs looking for some hideous dress to make for me for school.
God Bless her...now i miss those days!!!!
<3 ya Gramma
Sure there's no tape with Sandra in it but what about the thousand other cunts he fucked? HmmmmmMMmmMM!!!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
OK- like he's really going to admit to it. "heck yeah there's a video of me getting a bj while wearing a Nazi hat WHILE I was married to America's sweetheart." Not gonna happen.
Oh, darn, I really wanted to see his tattooed 2 incher
motherfucker, I lick pits for a living Sucky 12/14/2009
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LawDog 03/15/2010 Leenie, LOL. I think we can all agree that I am the most important person ever
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