Sunday, April 4th 2010
JLo's Singing Voice SANS FARDS
JLo's must have ass queefed into the wrong bitch's bowl of Cream of Wheat, because somebody has leaked a clip of her singing a cover of "Enough is Enough" in the studio without any effects.
Even the thought of listening to JLo singing au naturale makes my ears want to split like a daughter walking in on her mother with a finger in the oatmeal craisin cookie jar, but this clip could be a lot worse. Don't get me wrong, Celine Dion's vommy barfs sound better than this, but my ears are still attached to my head.
And after the jump is the NSFJ (not safe for Jesus) visual of a daughter walking in on her mother with a finger in the oatmeal craisin cookie jar. It's just what you needed today, I know. JUMP!
(Thanks Ren)
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Selena is the ONLY high quality project she has ever been involved with. Never understood her being considered this huge star.
The likes of Heidi Montag and Paris Hilton don't count. They are nothing and go without saying. I'm talking about people who have sustained success in the music industry at a high level.
Obviously people have used cut and paste techniques for vocals like stitching together multiple takes, pitch altering, double tracking and layering since at least the 60s or 70s. That also goes without saying. And it also applies to more talented singers than Madonna such as Cyndi Lauper who existed in the era before autotune, so at least have some claim as legitimate singers.
But Lopez NEVER SUNG the choruses of her first 3 albums. Christina Milian sung the chorus of "Play" for instance. This is also true for Spears - Cathy Dennis was all over the chorus of "Toxic", youtube her demo. But at least Brit's frog voice was "distinctive".
Are you telling me that this - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhAo1wacibE - can SING? Come on.
Submitted by sushi on Sun, 04/04/2010 - 9:21pm.
...
So they blended a suck ass singer with another suck ass singer?
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Unfortunately yes.
Medusa is a snake-headed beauty!
None of todays whores can sing..maybe because they're whores and only got to record an album cuz they sucked off everyone that works at *insert random record label here*.
Yay auto tune.
"Not to spoil the party, but its normal in the studio for an artist to do dozens of takes"
Not to spoil your bad hearing, but it also helps not to be tone deaf.
B!i!i!iD~
For your health.
I have no mics at work so I can hear it, but damn stop with the fucking remake of songs too.
Enough is Enough is held by none other than the most fabulous DIVAS to walk the earth, Donna Summer & Barbara Streisand, you cant come up with a better version, so why embarrass yourself and try????
FUCKING J=LO stay at home with your skeletor twins and be a fucking mom, stop trying to be a multi tasker.
I honestly can't decide what's worse:
J-Ho's HORRIFIC "singing" or that disgusting video of some old-bean loving.
Ugh.
"Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped"
- Elbert Hubbard
Submitted by literarylioness on Mon, 04/05/2010 - 2:06am
And yet Madonna got a movie nomination for her singing part in Evita. That never made any sense to me. A story like that told in nothing but song? Meh.
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
I have enough to re-name you Betty Crackwhore! - Submitted by TheBreakdown
Enough is enough..why must there be a thousand versions of this song? Blah!! Props go to Babs and Donna Summer for this version. Everyone else is lightweight.
JLo must do like true blooded pop stars like Joss Stone, give head for hits.
It's a competitive business! Find something new.
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Sorry, my English is not very good looking." Celia Cruz
Heidi Montage is by far the worst EVER in recorded history. She should never have been allowed in front of a mic. She is so processed ( including her coffin face ) it sounds like a baby gurgling into the mic that some poor bastard had to turn into words then a melody. At least he got paid. Can u believe Cathy Dennis wrote on that album. Cows both of them.
Agreed, i dunno any artist's thats doing takes that's so sickeningly sweet when in the studio, they usually wanna bust the engineers head in. Then kill the producer b4 they storm out or cry. Ive been there!!! JLO definitely leaked it. Its probably touched up even as an accapella.
I wish she had of released the "Louboutins" track, and used the Award performance including a mega mix of her falling on her ass. That was MINDBLOWING. I actually dug the song, way better than the last album lead single that i cant even remember.
"There's not enough Mommie in the world to further a cause like yours"
i put jlo in my "slashy" file...singer *slash* actress...not good at either one...
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what you gonna do? tell mom and dad I put your dick sucking list on facebook?” – "i love facebook like you love cock..."
JLo has never had more than an OK voice, but at least she DOES try to sing, unlike that other huckleberry hillbilly that people still go ga-ga over.
I have never been that biggest JLo fan in regards to any of her ambitions from singing to acting, but I will say that she works hard and at the end of the day that gets my respect more than anything else that comes out of her significant ass.
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Submitted by Christopher Chr... on Sun, 04/04/2010 - 7:00pm.
I wish we had a Madonna out take. In the early days they had to slow the track down, drop in nearly every word, then speed the track up to normal pitch and layer the shit out of it.
__________________________________________________Isn't that the truth? Madonna had to take udels of vocal lessons for "Evita," because she was so bad.
Paula Abdul is by far the worst singer! How she ever got to be a judge on "American Idol" boggled my mind. I thought she got her record deal from screwing one of the Jacksons? No, not Michael of course.
That shit sounds fake. I've heard Jlo's fake "nice" voice. Just check out her Inside the Actor's Studio bit or any one of her BS Oprah interviews, not to mention "Selena," in which she layed on the sweet to a nauseating level. She definitely, definitely released this, and I'm usually cynical about conspiracy theories. She probably did well in the studio that day and decided to release it for validation. On that note, I will say that she has an okay voice.
And stop telling the womens to stay home! Marc should stay home!
At least Jlo's laughing at herself... what is up with the granny in thigh highs???
puurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,
moosh
http://www.twolia.com/blogs/teacups-and-couture/
Sorry, but Paula Abdul was by far the worst singer to ever cut a record.
JLo sucks as a singer but she's not alone when it comes to pop superstars who make millions from good marketing and their looks alone. Just look at: Taylor Swift, Britney Spears, and Miley Cyrus among many others. I admit to liking some of their music when its already been digitally altered so that their voices are unrecognizable from their live performances. Go on YouTube and look up any live performance from these stars and it is clear that music is no longer about talent but about marketing people who appeal to the masses because of their looks or whatever is fed to them by their PR manager.
Submitted by zocalo1 on Sun, 04/04/2010 - 10:24pm
I have perfect pitch. I can throw a baseball threw a hoola hoop at 500 yards.
(no, not really)
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
I have enough to re-name you Betty Crackwhore! - Submitted by TheBreakdown
WORST singer in pop music history. Worse than even Janet Jackson and Britney (who just doesn't care anymore, and could vaguely sing in childhood). Only Paula Abdul is on a par with her - and J-Lo never had anything near a "Straight Up" or "Knocked Out". At least Paula was likeable and not a complete cunt and had good pop on her side. She could also dance a damn sight better than the FLY GIRL REJECT
She has the vocal range of an alley cat with a harsh horrible tone that grates on the ears. Don't know what she's doing in the entertainment industry other than her looks, as she is completely talentless and that lack of talent has caught up with her, you cannot sustain a career as long as she has without having something going for you. You can't fool the public and J-Lo is the epitome of mediocre and got away with poor music for far too long.
She saw what Madonna had and decided she wanted a piece. Well J-Lo, looks like your time is up.
let he who is in perfect pitch cast the first single...not many, I assure you
Dont tell me that the insufferable bitch is going to be permitted to destroy Enough is Enough?
How about weve all had enough of you JHo?
BTW-she doesnt have a sense of humour about her fucking up the song-everyone in that studio who was listening was thinking why the fuck did we ever sign this bitch? and she knew it!
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
Fucking gross.
Ya know, my sis and my friends and I used to play pretend rock star in my rec' room with our stand-up organ as a keyboard, and our jump-rope handles as mics, and we sounded way the fuck better than this. High school talent show contestants the world over sound better than this. Please make this awful woman go away so that people with real talent can give it a go. THANK YOU
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rock your FACE
I'm no JLo fan...some of her "songs" induce terrible allergic reactions for me...but this made me laugh. At least she had a bit of humor about her screeching...and, sad to say, she has a better voice than I do. Her pitch is off, but she has decent vibrato and knows she's off.
If the stories are true, Ashanti's voice was blended with Jennifer's during her first album.
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So they blended a suck ass singer with another suck ass singer?
Submitted by Christopher Chr... on Sun, 04/04/2010 - 7:00pm.
I remember that old era, it was hilarious, singers would sing on top of the song in a much lower tempo,word by word and then they would just smurf the tempo up for everything,
i was expecting worst, I'm sad it didn't top the iglesias and Beyonce tapes,
but that intimate moment between a mother and daughter made up for this post,
Who ever thought she could sing in the first place?
She has always relied on lots of back-up singers, echo and a boost from the band.
I think her voice sounds good but probably because I don't expect a lot anymore. Besides, it's pop music, not some deep Bob Dyland shit.
Also, why do people constantly tell female celebs to go 'home to their kids' and NEVER say that to the men?
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Dark-sided!
Which gold records were recorded in that studio?
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Submitted by amagod121 on Sun, 04/04/2010 - 6:46pm.
Sorry but I went to Berklee College of Music and was present for some studio sessions and I NEVER heard a clunker like that come out of a professional musician.
This isnt that bad at all.
Its not mindblowing but at least shes got some pitch and vibrato happening and a sense of humor about hitting bum notes.
Most "singers" these days are melodyned or auto tuned to the eyeballs then ghosted by a great session singer. Britney, hardly real at all and has a regular backing artist sing her lead as well as backing vocals. Listen to Toxic its Cathy Dennis singing the lead in places. Welcome to the music biz.
I wish we had a Madonna out take. In the early days they had to slow the track down, drop in nearly every word, then speed the track up to normal pitch and layer the shit out of it.
"There's not enough Mommie in the world to further a cause like yours"
Submitted by Brenda DuBois on Sun, 04/04/2010 - 11:52am.
If the stories are true, Ashanti's voice was blended with Jennifer's during her first album.
Medusa is a snake-headed beauty!
Sorry but I went to Berklee College of Music and was present for some studio sessions and I NEVER heard a clunker like that come out of a professional musician.
LOL! To be edgy, one has to be willing to offend and even scare people. ;)
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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Sun, 04/04/2010 - 6:19pm.
OMG LOL!!!
of all the ones i've done you wanted THAT one? that's hilarious.. and a little scary! (i made it for halloween)
Not to spoil the party, but its normal in the studio for an artist to do dozens of takes, and even after a gem--a keeper, studio staff will ask for more takes. This I heard from folks who worked on gold records.
One engineer told me of a producer who considered the only appropriate response to an artist completing a take to be "That was great, let's do another..."
So, the studio staff is not offended by mistakes, and if they were, they would never let the least bit of it show, lest they not be asked to work on future projects--and jlo, however likeable or not she is, is a whale of a resume item.
Guess I am a bore to lecture, but I really enjoyed knowing some studio rats and hearing stories back in the day, and I miss talking about it.
Blind item: A certain late 70's A++ list ensemble singer was reported to lay on the studio couch in a rehearsal room and let a studio owner bang her for coke.
Another mega-hit A name recognition singer was said to show her appreciation of each and every one of her backup band members with verbal recognition. Maybe oral is the better word...
Submitted by P.T.Bull on Sun, 04/04/2010 - 6:19pm.
OMG LOL!!!
of all the ones i've done you wanted THAT one? that's hilarious.. and a little scary! (i made it for halloween)
.o.o.o.o.0.0.0.O.O.O.0.0.0.o.o.o.o.
Internet fakers:
http://tinyurl.com/y94sh4m
http://bit.ly/1rcnEc
http://tinyurl.com/yeo4e9j
omigod I am shocked!
*goes to buy some shock because I ran out*
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The singing outtakes were not very unflattering--though jlo seems like a diva. She was keeping it light and taking responsibility for her mistakes. Voice sounded pretty good when it was on key.
Some studio employee is probably looking for a new line of work, as releasing this stuff is the cardinal sin. Doubt it was the engineer, as he probably doesn't want to kill his career. Maybe some stoner assistant.
Gramma getting busted rubbin the nubbin is kind of wierd, but one has to ask--why is there a video camera watching gramma giving herself a spanking? Staged anyone?
PS, why was she wearing glasses?
I saw this trickbaby on Oprah once back in the '90s. She was a phony, lying sack of shit-pretending to be a homebody and humble. I've never watched her movies or heard any of her music, but just listening to her speaking voice that one time was agonizing enough.
It's my dearest wish that untalented, uneducated but pretty people of either sex would just stick with the professions they're best suited for-modeling or whoring. Talent should be paramount. If I'm not on busting-nuts terms with a singer or actor why should I care what they look like?
She should have stayed a Fly Girl, bitch can't sing and her "acting" sucks too. Still can't figure out how she made it ... maybe she blew someone influential. It's the only thing I can think of.
Submitted by Bunnyman on Sun, 04/04/2010 - 5:39pm.
Maybe she was stoned.
What was so fucking funny to her? The fact that she missed a note like a dozen times?
"Professionalism." Look it up, bitch.
I won't be buying her CD but I will be watching The Backup Plan
Im a bit drunk and that second video nearly made me puke
That song is way too advanced for her. And she does not have a good voice. I think our standards are so low because we are just so used to hearing shit.
And that old lady touching herself is living proof why you need to teach your kids to fucking KNOCK before entering a closed room. Also, I wonder who she was taping this for and why this whomever felt the need to release this shit into the wild. Nast.
She's not horrendous but... In the late 90s I wished she d just stick to acting.
Then I saw Maid in Manhattan and thought "erk, she should just stick to singing!"
Those contrived excuses and little "hehe's" are the most irritating thing about this track.
Screw JLO and her voice. The second video made me really uncomfortable. Ugh. memories!
Oh, my. This is awful.
Minus the beginning, it wasn't nearly as bad as I expected it to be; not fit for a professional career but not make get up and leave the room bad, either. As for the 2nd video, that lady either needs to invest in locks or teach her kids how to knock. My parents had the fear so instilled in us we were afraid to go in the room when they weren't even home, nevertheless when you know they were in the room...
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Remember, the early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese...
I didn't think it was possible to hate JLo more...