From The Department Of Shit Ideas
Somebody kindly lead Garry Marshall to the nurse's office so he can lay down with a warm towel on his head, because he's obviously not right. He's rambling on and on about how he's going to do a big screen version of Laverne & Shirley with Jennifer Garner and Jessica Biel in the title roles. I mean, Garry obviously mixed up his medications or something.
During press junkets for that Valentine's Day crap, Garry joked out about how the chemistry between Jennifer and Jessica is so strong that he thinks they would make a wonderful Laverne & Shirley. It was all just jokes then, but now it's becoming a reality. Garry tells TV Guide (via Coming Soon) that he is working on a modern version of L&S, and has asked Jamie Foxx to write the script. I'm telling you! Pepaw's talking craziness, and needs to lie down now!
Garry said, "Jamie and I are trying to do it. He's writing it. It's a whole different modern day take on how they came up on the streets during difficult times. Laverne would be this very tough girl with a big 'L' tattooed on her arm. Jennifer Garner would play Laverne and Jessica Biel would play Shirley."
WTFWTFWTFWTF. Let's say you put an obese raccoon, Justin Bieber, a toothless troll, Jesse James' fuck couch and Jennifer Garner in a line-up. Let's say you then asked me to pick who should play Laverne in a movie version of Laverne & Shirley. Jennifer Garner would be my last choice. Don't get me started on Jessica Biel.
And Jamie Foxx writing the script?! Garry, if one of your life goals is to win more Razzies than anybody else, you are headed in the right direction.
• 
I don't get that casting at all. How about casting comedic actors that fit the role?????
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Never go with a Hippy to a Second Location
No one's gonna watch this crappy monstrosity of a flick, not even Penny Marshall or Cindy Williams, I can tell you that!!
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→←...When you come to a fork in the road, take it...◘•♣♣ Yogi Bera →←
Jessica Biel is about as talented as the green fly that landed on my dog's turd this morning.
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Thu, 03/25/2010 - 6:33am.
vidz:
Yes I have been asked this a million times and so what is one more?
I am a singer/writer/dancer/painter/performance artist/designer and more. Depends on the day!
But if you click below this you will see for yourself alot of what I do.
Your computer won't explode!
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
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Just checked out your page Breakdown - you are so freaking hawt!! Am jealous.
My favorite hair style of yours is the one thats about two inches in length all over..you are shirtless and wearing a dapper suit with a tie. Youch!
vidz:
Yes I have been asked this a million times and so what is one more?
I am a singer/writer/dancer/painter/performance artist/designer and more. Depends on the day!
But if you click below this you will see for yourself alot of what I do.
Your computer won't explode!
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe for "Heaux Confessionals©", delivered to your inbox and other holes:
xadesmultimedia@gmail.com
Today i conducted a journalism workshop for 40 screaming 10yr olds, ate a pkt of super rings and am currently filling out longass university applications for my brother, because he can't be bothered to.
@ The Breakdown
I know you've been asked this approximately a million times, but what exactly do you do?
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"I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way."
Ugh, weird. Didn't this one feature a young Brad Pitt too??? Who's gonna fill that role?
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http://rxhollywood.wordpress.com/
Isn't that a crime against humanity? Garner's acting is reminissent of a chipmunk on speed. Biel neither has charisma nor pezaz. Showing both simultaniously on the white screen is nothing short of torture.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Im starting a petition to keep "Horse Face" Jennifer Garner and "Im not talented but I have a nice ass" Jessica Biel out of not only this movie but ALLLLLLLLLLLL movies!
Submitted by Crawford67 on Wed, 03/24/2010 - 4:00pm
Please stop giving Hollywood ideas. I will personally come and fine you if this actually happens.
No offense.
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Oh fuck no! Hell no! Jamie you need to lay off the bottle son.
Isn't one of the girls suppose to be the less attractive on in order for this to work?
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
I see them more as Thelma and Louise...but enough with the remakes already. *waits for Gilligans Island and I Dream of Jeannie*
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Submitted by Morbidosity on Wed, 03/24/2010 - 6:53pm.
K Fed and Spencer Pratt as Lenny and Squiggy. Couldn't make it suck any less.
Haahahahaha!! Morbid, you nailed it. Even though this movie is doomed (especially with a Jamie Foxx script), if it materializes and is a contender for Worst Movie Idea of late 2010, the casting of K Fed and Pratt could make it work.
"What's your motto?" "Kill everyone NOW"
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Wed, 03/24/2010 - 6:03pm.
If the above photo included apples and a trough, I swear to God I'd think it was taken from the Kentucky Derby.
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LOL.
I was actually think that Garner looks blech in this photo. I don't know what it is about her. One minute she looks radiantly beautiful to me and the next she's just barely average.
Wow I thought Beil was Christy Turlington at first glance...I don't know whether to congratulate Jessica's plastic surgeon or to get glasses....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Laverne or Shirley...I love me some Jessica Biel, I'll go with Shirley.
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God help us all.
Two dumb wimmens who followed the Jennifer Aniston formula for gaining celebrity status. Meh.
This is fanfuckingtastic:
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Wed, 03/24/2010 - 6:03pm.
If the above photo included apples and a trough, I swear to God I'd think it was taken from the Kentucky Derby.
what you know about people and the way things work I could comfortably pass through the hole in my penis
K Fed and Spencer Pratt as Lenny and Squiggy. Couldn't make it suck any less.
It takes a speshul kind of chemistry to pull off Laverne and Shirley type banter. All chemistry is not the same. For instance, Chris Farley and David Spade had chemistry. These two ladies? Who knows.
I dislike them both equally
www.theinfamouslife.com
Leave my Laverne & Shirley alone!! If it's not Cindy & Penny, then it's NOBODY!!!!!
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"little Kumquat and little Rameses (or whatever their names)"...MK
Submitted by Stock Broker on Wed, 03/24/2010 - 4:06pm.
Straight to DVD
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I wish, but there are enough low IQ barn animals passing for humans that would line up to see this steaming pile of shit.
I swear I will keel over the day they announce an I Love Lucy remake.
Submitted by gee_gee on Wed, 03/24/2010 - 5:59pm.
And so was Leslie Caron ;)
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If I wanted something covered in cum and gold eyeshadow I'd steal Adam Lambert's hoody. --Helen Killer @ Regretsy
Bad idea. Biel can't act her way out of a pile of shit.
HELLO!
What do Lenny and Squiggy have to say about this abomination, and more importantly, who will be playing them? Since neither Biel nor Garner is appropriate for blue collar Schatz Brewery workers in the 1950s, I'll go with Robert Pattinson and James McAvoy.
♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣
"You sir, have the charisma of a damp rag and the appearance of a low-grade bank clerk."
Submitted by gee_gee on Wed, 03/24/2010 - 5:59pm.
Yes, I see them laughing, but donkeys laugh too. That does not mean I want to see a movie about donkeys.
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Well said my dear, and I ADORE your avatar. Cyd was a goddess. IS! IS a goddess :)
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If I wanted something covered in cum and gold eyeshadow I'd steal Adam Lambert's hoody. --Helen Killer @ Regretsy
Jess Biel looks like she's getting a serious case of Michael Jackson face
Submitted by Womanoftheyear on Wed, 03/24/2010 - 4:41pm.
I love it when all you jealous hos talk shit behind a computer screen about successful people who warrant no kind of abuse at all.
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And I "love it" when Hollywood just expects me to shell out my hard-earned money (I work at a non-profit that supports the city that I love and live in, if you really want to know what I do all day)on their latest crusty jizz load, and lick it up blindly as if I have no idea what a quality film is.
And I love it when people like you mistakenly call my rightful critique of such barbie-doll-on-parade "acting" jealousy. It's not abuse. It's critique. It's my opinion. And you can pry my right to voice my opinion out of my cold dead fingers.
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If I wanted something covered in cum and gold eyeshadow I'd steal Adam Lambert's hoody. --Helen Killer @ Regretsy
If the above photo included apples and a trough, I swear to God I'd think it was taken from the Kentucky Derby.
Jessica looks especially beat.
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe for "Heaux Confessionals©", delivered to your inbox and other holes:
xadesmultimedia@gmail.com
For the holy love of Zot! WTF is wrong w/these people? This might just be worse than that Overboard remake. Sorry if someone already said that. Make something original already! These two are so fucking boring its painful.
Mother of Fuck. Bad idea.
First of all, I cannot get over how these two chicks look standing next to each other. Why does it look like these bitches have extra teeth in their mouths? I haven't seen teeth this big outside of a donkey at a petting zoo in a long time.
And these hos are NOT funny. Yes, I see them laughing, but donkeys laugh too. That does not mean I want to see a movie about donkeys.
Submitted by Womanoftheyear on Wed, 03/24/2010 - 4:41pm.
I think you wandered into the wrong place, sweetie, if you were expecting rainbows and butterflies. That is not Dlisted, sorry. Toddle on home now.
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"What he lacked in feet, he made up for in inches." --BK, on having sex with a midget
Dear Mr. Marshall: May I say, Sir, with the utmost respect --
DON'T YOU. FUCKING. DARE.
Sincerely,
Albatross
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"What he lacked in feet, he made up for in inches." --BK, on having sex with a midget
Crawford67:
In Turkish?
Blohan = kaltak
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe for "Heaux Confessionals©", delivered to your inbox and other holes:
xadesmultimedia@gmail.com
The Breakdown:
Hope you recovered the grass.
Tell us something about Blohan in Turkish.
Jessica Biel should sue her plastic surgeon. I am sure she looked natural before the horrid nose job, and lip injections.
Evil - LOL, buddy!
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"poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!" snowpiece 11/25/09
"I'd jack off to jack-in-the-hat if he was on the cover before her" Eddie
Crawford67:
I fought a cold, did laundry, studied Turkish, spied on my maid (cuz I think this ho is stealing my couture AND grass!), but most importantly?
I emailed American Apparel and told them to fire this bitch in gold with the stretch marks that look like a gaggle of cats have been fighting around her buttocks!
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http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe for "Heaux Confessionals©", delivered to your inbox and other holes:
xadesmultimedia@gmail.com
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 03/24/2010 - 4:52pm.
I did not kill my coworkers today... that is a HUGE accomplishment for me.... HUGE
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I came close. Told my boss I was gonna get on a plane to our Vegas office and punch a coworker's teeth in.
Fortunately he found it funny and didn't call HR on me.
Skankoftheyear
I grouted my shower today...worked in my yard...and secured a space for an art show. That's on top of my regular email and phone calls.
What else have you trolled today besides DListed?
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 03/24/2010 - 4:43pm.
LOL at jealous haters! why so serious?
MOM JEAN WEARIN FUCKERS!!!!!!!! LOLOLOL
Ummm, you talking to me, buddy? :)
Someone needs to punch Garry's lights out and take away any writing instruments from Jamie Foxx. Are they out of their fucking minds?
OH HELL NO!!!
I lived through the reruns looking at those BIG ASS L's on all her clothing, I just can't do it again with a remake! I can't!
WTF? Jennifer Garner is tough? Um...isn't she like made of toothpicks and plastic wrap?? Same goes for Shelfy Biel.
This is a bad baaaaaad idea. Garry Marshall is on crack.
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Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!!!
Submitted by Little China Doll on Wed, 03/24/2010 - 4:58pm.
Ahahahahaha!! I wasn't going to log in to comment today, but womanoftheyear (aka Angie Ho) was too damn funny to pass up! I didn't realize Angie came to dlisted & that she's friends with jessica & jennifer. Who knew?!
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Yeah, the post wasn't about Angie so she had to make it seem like she gives a damn about Garner just to take a swipe and try to see if she can get us to come unglued over being called "haters".
HELLO? This is Dlisted. We hate everything.
Submitted by IrishFury on Wed, 03/24/2010 - 4:47pm.
I'd rather be known as a "jellis h8er".
And today I found the cure for cancer, AIDS and most importantly.....gonorrhea. Womenoftheyear - you're welcome!
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LOL
That old fart has lost his gotdamned mind!
PUT GARY MARSHALL DOWN!
Thank you. Marguerite and I both scream GARGOYLES!!! everytime we see Brangelina.
We know.
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Dark-sided!